Camoflauge

W hat if i told you under the cool calm exterior there's a passion and desire that burns deep within

what if i offered you my vulnerability,in exchange for loyalty that has no end,could you balance the duties of being my other half along with the daunting task of being my best friend

What if my mind and heart were that of a saint,but to the naked eye my actions seemed to reflect thoughts of malice and sin

What if i told you i don't know where to begin,that the strength you admire in me is pretend,that me and depression love each other and she has vowed to battle happiness to the end

What if i told you mama was always drinking,and daddy was always working

What if i skipped the self pity party and told you there guidance molded an extremely articulate person,that the curse made me that much more determined,that the pain cannot be removed by the most precise of surgeons,that i let go of my beautiful ugly so my son gets the new and improved version.

What if i wanted to tell you this in person,but i couldn't in fear that my thoughts would fall on mute ears once again,believe me i wanted to,but i come to realize that i am a better conversationalist when i speak through my pen.....

your strength isn't "pretend" - you either have it or you don't. Stop kidding yourself. Your words are not those of a gutless wonder.
*headbutt*

before you diagnose yourself with depression just take a quick look around you and make sure you aren't surrounded by szzholes


Does he have lots of books and stuff to read when you aren't there? I think books and sport and animals got me thru when all else crumbled around me.

I thought he WAS looking at his life...i have been thru xyz and what if I try this or that.

Guess a lot rides on who marks your paper!

@Reason- I am so fortunate to have the things i have,did i have a rough upbrining sure,but who the hell hasnt,everybody is fighting a war,and there are a zillion who have it worst.In this case i really was trying to use clever wordplay.i obviously know that in a relationship you cant say "hey,i will exchange loyalty for your love,or if you are good to me,i will be good to.i am fully aware that if your in a relationship and you do something for someone it should make you feel fantastic and it should not be a duty or task or you are doing it for the wrong pourpose.i guess what i was trying to be slick with my words,as in saying i know me and being with me can be a task at times.and i totally understand that i can not expect someone else to compensate things i lacked in the past because that is not a fair burden for the other party to endure,that was before them and it is not their responsibility and would put both parties in a lose lose situation.i did not mean to scare you with that phrase,i hope you understand what i was trying to do with this writing.



I didnt think it was harsh critisim,i actually thought of it as wonderful insight and keen observation,i thank you for commenting and taking time out of your day to read my insights,i am sincerely thankful.you are absolutely right about diversity and locking myself in the past,it is a character flaw of mine.But i do try to work on it everyday and i hope there comes a day when i master this,but until then i have to work on it one day at a time.i sincerely hope you did not read this and think i am selfish or i have pity for myself.i try to be selfless and humble as possible,that was not my intention my friend,thank you again


p.s. one day when you are not busy you can enlighten me on the saturn square venus,my astrology game is not up to par yet,need some work🙂 if you get a chance

my really nice and sweet aries person,did you just headbutt me,ouch dang it🙂 i really didnt mean clinical depression,just the blues i feel all humans go through.i know people have it worst,i just get down sometimes.


as far as my lil man-he is currently very active in sports,he loves to draw,and he is always brainstorming new ideas for rollercoasters at great america(thats his new thing lol),he also enjoys watching animal planet,boxing,and ufc,and we stay heavy friends with the x box.i love that lil guy.

p.s. i dont care what you say i still think your screen name fits you perfect (headbutt) lmao

"It would make sense if you were 12." Did i miss something?

Posted by brandon24
"It would make sense if you were 12." Did i miss something?

I think he is just being a bit of a nark. Don't try and figger him out.