Moon capricorn man going cold after leaving the country

Signed Up: Sep 05, 2019
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This guy has his sun in Gemini, moon in capricorn, mercury and venus in Taurus and mars in aries. He doesn't really have a lot of Gemini traits, that's why I consider him more of a capricorn.

So, long story short, this summer I met my friend's cousin and he asked my friend's bf for my number. We started texting and I wasn't really interested in him in the beginning but then I decided to give him a chance. I live in a foreign country and this guy was here to work only for a few months and then go back to our home country. He will be back next year in April to work again. So, after a few ups and downs in our "relationship" the last two weeks before he left, everything was going well. He told me he only wanted us to be friends but that we could still hang out as friends and I said I was okay with it. He started coming to my place everyday, we would talk, watch TV while cuddling, we pretty much looked like a couple. He even took me to his aunt's place. (I already knew his aunt because I know all his family members who live here, but him taking me there and having his aunt think there was something between us was... weird)

He opened up to me about a lot of stuff like, his mother's problem with alcohol and how she neglected them when they were little, his relationship with his brother, etc. He told me one of his biggest dreams was to have kids but he hadn't find the one yet. Before leaving he told me I would maybe hear from him sooner than I expected, he told me he would come here to visit me, he told me he doesn't like talking to people over the phone but that I was an exception and that I could call/text him whenever I wanted.

He was pretty involved in my life, giving me advice about people around me and I opened up to him about my sister and that I would probably have to go our home country soon to speak to her about something very serious and he said "Tell me when you go there, I'll pick you up at the airport, we'll go to your sister and solve this". He also told me I could stay in his place, with his parents. He's a mechanic and he's so passionate about it, which I find really cute and he once told me "You wanna learn mechanics? 'Cause I always said that my woman would have to learn mechanics". He was always talking about stuff we would do together next year when he comes back. I mean, when he says things like that, it means something right?

So, over this time I never had a doubt that he liked me. He was always saying that he valued our friendship and that I was a good friend but whenever he said something like that he would do something that was not very friend-like. Like I said, we would cuddle while watching TV and apparently, one of those times he got a boner. He told me that after he went home. And he would always text me how much I drove him crazy and how he "would do something that could ruin our friendship". But he never did. I also always told him I take sex really seriously and he said he respected that. He never even tried to kiss me. Now, I have a theory about that. He had a health issue a couple of years ago and it completely ruined his teeth. You can see it really bothers him. It's pretty bad, really. I don't care about it because I like him but he is really bothered by it, which I totally understand. He came here with the goal to earn enough money to fix them. My guess is that he wanted to get his teeth fixed before having something with me because he's really self conscious about his teeth. Another important fact is that when he came here he had a gf and a couple of days after he came, she broke up with him and a week later she was engaged to another guy. That is another reason why I think he wouldn't want a LDR. So I just figured he wanted us to be "friends" until he comes back.

So, after he left, 3 weeks ago, he texted me a couple of times, calling me beautiful and all that and I texted him a couple of times too, one of those times was a video I recorded of the first snow of the year 'cause he was always talking about the snow. His response to the video was very cold and I thought it was weird so I showed the video to a couple of friends and they told me "Who's that guy laughing in the background?". So, I was at my friend's restaurant and it's in a small village and a regular costumer who we all know and is old enough to be my father was there too. We were laughing because my reaction to the snow was hilarious. He did tell me he was really the jealous type before leaving but I at that moment I didn't think he would get jealous of that video. After this, we spoke on the phone and he seemed pretty normal to me. He said he was already sick of being in our home country and that he almost packed his stuff to come back here and the only reason he didn't do it was his teeth. He asked me if I missed him and I said yes and he said he missed me too. After this, we spoke on the phone once more and right after that second phone call he posted a romantic song on fb and the lyrics really looked like they were for me. It was about an unexpected love and wanting to be with someone but not being able to and then, he became strange. Texting less and when he texted he would be really cold. He even texted me the other day saying hi and I replied saying hi and that was it. Then he says he will call, but doesn't call. When we text, he leaves me on read for hours and texts back like hours and hours later. The other day he texted saying he was nervous about his dentist appointment (he's afraid of needles and doctors in general). His dentist appointment was yesterday so, Sunday evening I texted him wishing him good luck and told him he could call me if he wanted and he said he would call but never called. He was online on Facebook, posting plenty of stuff so he wasn't busy. Last night I asked him how it went and again he left on read for hours and then said it went well and I asked him how he was feeling and I'm still on read until now.

What is happening here? He couldn't lose his interest in me like this, right? I mean, even if we were friends like he said, this is not how you treat friends. What should I do? Should I say something? Should I leave him alone and wait? I thought about asking him if he's mad at me for some reason but I don't want to seem pushy.

What should I do?

Thanks in advance.

Signed Up: Sep 05, 2019
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Posted by CancerAquaSagg

Worst combo ever. I knew a Gemini sun cap moon that was the most messed up man I've ever met lol he was really creepy with the mind games and stuff. So run before he drives you crazy. What you're saying sounds very similar to my ex bf he acted really similar. Also saying I was beautiful and calling me all the time but then started to criticize my looks lol. Gross.

But you told him you were fine with the friendship while it's obvious you like him romantically so why be mad tho?

What's your sign?

I am sun virgo, moon aquarius, mercury libra, venus scorpio, mars cancer and aries rising sign. And the thing about him is that he really doesn't have a lot of Gemini. I've had a thing for geminis my entire life so I know them well and he is very very very different from the others.

I told him I was okay with the friendship because I knew it wasn't true 😅 All the things that I described in the thread happened after he told me he wanted to be friends. I mean, we're not really friends, are we? I tested that out 😅 And even if we were just friends, do you really treat your friends this way?

We went through a few ups and downs before, specially this one time that he said something about me introducing me to my friends. The way he said it was kind of disrespectful so I got mad and went two weeks without speaking to him. Then I realised he wanted a reaction out of me. When he said he wanted to be friends I told him "I can introduce you to my friends next week if you want, I'm going out for dinner with them" and he said "That was only a joke".

I've seen him trying to make me jealous, trying to "confirm" my feelings for him. When I said I was sad because he was leaving, he didn't believe me. That's why I think he wants to test me again now that we're in different countries. Ever since he went cold, I've been giving him space and he goes even colder. That's why I'm not sure of what he wants me to do? Do I just let him be? Do I say something?

The thing is, I don't want to let him go... I really like him.

Signed Up: Sep 05, 2019
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Posted by xoxflute

Maybe he really just sees you as a friend or that he liked you but didn't think it would pan out to be more than friendship, because as a Taurus Mercury, I'm generally a slow responder to my friends.

Well, he usually texts back fairly quickly. And by quickly I mean within seconds. And minutes when he's busy. His change in behaviour has to have some meaning. When I take a moment to reply to him he starts calling me or asking why it's taking so long for me to reply. And trust me, I never leave him waiting for that long. Is this how you act with friends? 😅

Signed Up: Sep 05, 2019
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Posted by CancerAquaSagg

Ive got an aqua moon too. Girl just run for your own sake. I was heartbroken for a year over this dumbass lol not worth it at all. Is he cynical? These cap moon are dark. The longer you wait for him the more you'll hurt. He will never stop with the mind games.

I think he likes you but is waiting for a "better match" its coward attitude with them. You will never get what you want with him it's best you accept it now.

I'm really sorry about your heartbreak 😢

However, it takes me a really long time to completely give up on someone. And I already know myself way too well to know that I won't be able to just turn the page.

About the mind games, honestly, everyone plays mind games nowadays. Some do it more, some do it less. I don't believe in those perfect good guys anymore. They don't exist. And I've been talking to a lot of older women lately and they just tell me stuff about their husbands and their married lives and I really just realised that in the end men will be men, you just have to find the one you enjoy spending time with. If he makes me smile, he can't be that bad right? I think we have been brainwashed and forced to believe that if a guy doesn't kiss the floor you walk on, then he's not worth it and he doesn't like you. In the end, they're just human beings. Now, I'm not saying there aren't douchebags out there. There are lots of them, of course. And no, we shouldn't accept all kind of behaviour and some things are unacceptable. But sometimes we just need to be more realistic.

It's normal for him to be insecure. If you want an idea, my mother once told me that I was too good for him and out of his league. I don't agree with that. I'm not too good for someone nor out of someone's league. There's no such thing in love. However, given his teeth problem and his disastrous break up that happened 6 months ago, I can totally understand his lack of self confidence and trust for people. His girlfriend of 3 years broke up with him 2 days after he came here and got engaged to another guy on his birthday. How can he not doubt me? That is why I don't mind his mind games. Of course they drive me crazy but I am willing to cope with them. What I can't figure out on my own here is if right now, he's testing me or if he just genuinely needs some alone time, which I will totally respect if he does. We all need that and caps are known for that. And in the case he's testing me, I don't know what kind of response to give him. I don't know if I should wait for him to comeback to his senses or if I should show him that his behaviour is hurting me. So far, I've been acting like I don't care, but it's gotten worst, that's why I don't know what to do.

And I really appreciate your advice, I really do. But I can't turn the page just yet. I know I won't be able to do it. I'll keep waiting for him. This is just how I am... 😢

Signed Up: Sep 05, 2019
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Posted by xoxflute
Posted by queeneemy
Posted by xoxflute

Maybe he really just sees you as a friend or that he liked you but didn't think it would pan out to be more than friendship, because as a Taurus Mercury, I'm generally a slow responder to my friends.

Well, he usually texts back fairly quickly. And by quickly I mean within seconds. And minutes when he's busy. His change in behaviour has to have some meaning. When I take a moment to reply to him he starts calling me or asking why it's taking so long for me to reply. And trust me, I never leave him waiting for that long. Is this how you act with friends? 😅

No 😅if I'm slowly to respond, I'm usually not too bothered by slow response.

Maybe you should slow down on your response, since it seems he responds faster. 😛
click to expand

That's the conflict actually 😅 Since he has so much earth in his chart and all those trust issues I don't want him to think I'm playing games or that I've lost interest in him or anything like that. I'm really good at that kind of games but I'm not sure if I should play them with him because if he's testing my loyalty then that's not the reaction I should give him, right?

Also, we don't really text during the day 'cause I myself am pretty busy and he's busy too. So we usually text in the evening when I'm supposed to be home with time to talk so I can't even pretend I'm busy so to me there's really no point in doing that. But if that's the reaction he's looking for, I'll give it to him 😅😅😅

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Posted by nanorobot

I'm a nasty gemini/cap moon but this is so long to read

I'm sorry. It turned out way longer than I initially intended to. But could you please give it a try? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Biboroon

@Biboroon

8 Years500+ Posts

Signed Up: Jun 02, 2017
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Posted by CancerAquaSagg

The longer you wait for him the more you'll hurt. He will never stop with the mind games.

A cap moon guy literally told my friend that he likes to play games in a relationship and if she can’t accept it he won’t be satisfied. And he played a loooot of games in a few months that they were together

Signed Up: Sep 05, 2019
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Posted by nanorobot
Posted by queeneemy
Posted by nanorobot

I'm a nasty gemini/cap moon but this is so long to read

I'm sorry. It turned out way longer than I initially intended to. But could you please give it a try? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Okay I read it, but I had to think about it for a awhile.

Idk, I'm sorry I don't really see anything wrong here.

I think it sounds like he just gets busy. I don't know whats wrong with him taking a few hours to reply, or forgets to call. Things happen, sometimes it slips the mind or more important things come up.

I think you have feelings for him, so it bothers you more than it would a regular friend. But ultimately he did say that he wanted to be just friends right now. Listen to that only, instead of finding meaning in other things he says/does. I think you're overreacting, overthinking right now. Virgos do this a lot
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Thank you for reading 🙏🏻

But am I really overthinking? Do you usually cuddle your friends while watching TV? Do you tell your friends "one of these days I'm going to steal a kiss from you"? Do you ask your friends for back massages? Do you take naps with your friends while cuddling? This happened after he told me he only wanted to be friends. This is not really friends behaviour, is it? And he's the one who would initiate the cuddling and all... 😅

Signed Up: Sep 05, 2019
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Posted by Biboroon
Posted by CancerAquaSagg

The longer you wait for him the more you'll hurt. He will never stop with the mind games.

A cap moon guy literally told my friend that he likes to play games in a relationship and if she can’t accept it he won’t be satisfied. And he played a loooot of games in a few months that they were together
click to expand

May I ask what kind of games did he played?

Biboroon

@Biboroon

8 Years500+ Posts

Signed Up: Jun 02, 2017
Comments: 7 · Posts: 575 · Topics: 15

Posted by queeneemy
Posted by Biboroon
Posted by CancerAquaSagg

The longer you wait for him the more you'll hurt. He will never stop with the mind games.

A cap moon guy literally told my friend that he likes to play games in a relationship and if she can’t accept it he won’t be satisfied. And he played a loooot of games in a few months that they were together

May I ask what kind of games did he played?
click to expand

Having drama with his ex and telling my friend all about it, flirting with other girls etc. Once they had a fight, she decided to go out and posted snapchat stories from the club so he showed up there just to ignore her and dance with other girls lol. He was a major douchebag

Signed Up: Sep 05, 2019
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Posted by nanorobot
Posted by queeneemy
Posted by nanorobot
Posted by queeneemy
Posted by nanorobot

I'm a nasty gemini/cap moon but this is so long to read

I'm sorry. It turned out way longer than I initially intended to. But could you please give it a try? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Okay I read it, but I had to think about it for a awhile.

Idk, I'm sorry I don't really see anything wrong here.

I think it sounds like he just gets busy. I don't know whats wrong with him taking a few hours to reply, or forgets to call. Things happen, sometimes it slips the mind or more important things come up.

I think you have feelings for him, so it bothers you more than it would a regular friend. But ultimately he did say that he wanted to be just friends right now. Listen to that only, instead of finding meaning in other things he says/does. I think you're overreacting, overthinking right now. Virgos do this a lot

Thank you for reading 🙏🏻

But am I really overthinking? Do you usually cuddle your friends while watching TV? Do you tell your friends "one of these days I'm going to steal a kiss from you"? Do you ask your friends for back massages? Do you take naps with your friends while cuddling? This happened after he told me he only wanted to be friends. This is not really friends behaviour, is it? And he's the one who would initiate the cuddling and all... 😅

That's what dating culture is like currently, so yes I would say that that is the norm now unfortunately. Lots of fuckboys, NSA, Netflix and chill, grey areas, ghosting, etc.

What we know is that he 1) told you he wants to just be friends 2) he never stated otherwise and 3) acting hot and cold

Those yell much louder to me than a young man sometimes thinking with his dick.

He does seem to care about you, I don't think based on what you said that its totally out of the question that he would want to be together later. But for now, it seems like his interest has dropped off and he is focusing on other things.
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I do think he would want to be together when he comes back. But I can't help to think that his teeth played a very important role in him not initiating anything tho.

I'm willing to wait for him. But I just don't know what to do for now. He's the one who texts first then stops replying. What does he want me to do? Keep texting? Leave him alone? Why bother texting me at all if he doesn't want to talk?