2 things...

1) I have been close friends with an Aqua guy for over 15 years. To say the least, I love him like a family member. I've never considered anything more with him at all. Now here's the thing. I'm not speaking to him now because of his pretentious behavior. Long story short, he is currently in a relationship with a chick who is jealous of our friendship, & she doesn't want him talking to me. He has children with her as well. She is VERY insecure & also causes problems with him at his job & with his family.

Whenever he comes around with her, he speaks to me, but he's very dry, doesn't hold any conversation like we're foreign strangers. I confronted him about it but he tells me that he's just trying to keep the peace & that I should understand, but I think it's bullshit & to me he's being very fake. I've been friends with him for years!!! Why the hell would I understand that? If he can't be real with me & carry on our usual friendship around her, he doesn't need to talk to me at all. Am I wrong for that? It could be anyone of my friends for that matter or even a family member. I would be pissed the same way if they just decided "oh I can't talk to you around him/her..." WTF? Shit like that will make me delete someone quickly. What do you guys think?

2) So now that I am not talking to him, he tries to do little things to get me to notice him. I'm currently volunteering for Sandy victims at a community center & now that he knows this, he suddenly came to work too. I totally ignored him the entire time. He had asked me to take him somewhere on his way out, I told him no & that I was busy. He started for the door, then came back & gave me some negative news about someone he knows I clearly care about. I acted like whatever, but later on I was livid.

I confronted him about it & asked him why would he tell me that out of the blue? I said to him that I believe he was saying that to piss me off, to get my attention because I wasn't talking to him, & that bit of info he told me surely got my attention. I cursed him out about it too. He's like I would never do anything like that to hurt you, I thought you were over the guy, blah, blah, blah. I'm like well if you "thought" I was over him, why the fuck would you bring it up in the first place then? He gave me a hug & a kiss but my response was very cold.

The next day he came into work & I ignored him again. He was following me around everywhere & everyone noticed.

Con't.

Ok, so do you guys think that he told me the negative info to get my attention because I was ignoring him? I think so, but I'm just really curious to hear it from another perspective. Any thoughts?

Yeah pretty sure that's why he did it.... unless it literally just happened but if it it didn't for sure. I'm going to have to admit this relationship seems closer to me than your making it sound btw I guess if go friends for that long it would.... What I'd like to know is why did this never turn romantic?? Obviously you usually get along well.... 15 years of friendship after all... Are you not available or something??

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Yeah pretty sure that's why he did it.... unless it literally just happened but if it it didn't for sure. I'm going to have to admit this relationship seems closer to me than your making it sound btw I guess if go friends for that long it would.... What I'd like to know is why did this never turn romantic?? Obviously you usually get along well.... 15 years of friendship after all... Are you not available or something??

Well could be because he's made advances at me in the past. I was just not attracted to him romantically. No. I wasn't available FOR HIM. We do have a close FRIENDSHIP relationship & it's strictly platonic, nothing more. We've never had sex because I was never interested in that & he knows that. I believe he likes ME more than a friend.

I'm not sure if what he told me REALLY happened, but it's just the way his mannerisms were when he said it, & how he came out with it that makes it seems as if it were calculated. Just out of the blue like that? Please...I don't buy it. If that was the case, he should have mentioned it when he saw me the first time. Not walk to the door to come back with such info, as if he JUST happened to remember that at that particular moment. GTFOH...

1.) You being upset by his actions are understandable. I don't understand why it sometimes has to come down to choosing your s/o or friend. If the person he's with is completely against him talking to you, he might just have to choose. He needs to stand up for himself and your friendship and stop letting other people's insecurities get in the way. You know what I tell my s/o if he doesn't want me hanging out with people? 'That's too bad. I have friends, and I'm going to hang out with them.' Albeit, if all three of you hang out, it would obviously be best for him to act more interested in his girlfriend rather than you, but I don't see what's wrong with talking to you like normal. If this keeps up, it doesn't sound like your friendship will be much of anything during the time he's with her. While some people would say 'if you're really his friend, even if he's acting stupid, you'll stick by him and understand'....that's just not always going to work. If he cares enough about your friendship, he will try to make it work for both you and him despite what his girlfriend thinks.

2.) I personally would say he said that to get you to talk to him. It would seem more natural to me that if someone thought of something as they were leaving, they would just call you or text you later about it. So, he might have been trying a little harder there to get you to talk to him, and picked a subject he knew you would respond to. Maybe the fact that he has had romantic feelings for you would also play a part in the subject he chose to talk about. Maybe to gauge your action to get any hints if you still like the guy or not. But, that could not be true at all! I don't know the guy.

Personally, I'm not sure if ignoring him is the mature option, but I'll tell you that I might do that, too. After, of course, I told him that our friendship is going to suffer if he lets this girl dictate who he talks to. In the end, it might be best to ignore conversation like that. It's all up to you, though.

@ Scenic, I agree with you. I don't have a problem with us all hanging out. She's a scorpio & I actually heart scorps! But if she's going to give me the cold shoulder, I don't have a problem returning the favor. I don't kiss anyones ass to get along with them & if he can't act normal around me when he's with her, the hell with him. Yes we've been friends for a long time but I feel like he shouldn't allow anyone to come between it regardless. He brings her to work with him sometimes & any female attention he gets whatsover, she bitches about it. He has told me this & others has witnessed it as well. She also causes problems with his family members because they tell me about how they can't stand her.

He knows that I still have feelings for my ex & that my ex still has feelings for me. My ex went to him to get a haircut (a place he DOES NOT go to) just to fish for info about me. My aqua friend told me about how he told him why/how we broke up in detail & I didn't even tell my friend about all of the details of our breakup, but apparently my ex did! Anyway, he knows the wounds are still fresh & that I still love him so if the aqua fabricated a story or was telling me half truths just to spark a reaction out of me or win brownie points, he fucked up royally & made it worse because it totally backfired & I am not speaking to him as a result, when I was already pissy with him from the get go. He will continue to be on the "ignore" roster.

Posted by PotHeadVirgo22
I say if he won't be stand up to her, drop em. Because that's the main issue here, "her", not wanting him to talk to "you". So if that doesn't change, then I would just bounce...fuck em.🙂
Or as an alternative, just talk to his woman and ask her what's the problem bitch! Lol. Not exactly like that but you get the point.🙂

Exactly.

Hahaha, I get your point but I'm not talking to her about shit. I expressed my concerns to him so he knows how I feel about this & if he chooses to continue to be fake, he can kiss my ass.

Posted by msmarilynmanson
you are probably smokin hot and his chick is jealous. if you werent, she wouldnt care. when he acts cold in front of said chick give him a huge bear hug and proceed to blow her a kiss. its a wrap. beware: this tactic could incite strong female reaction, proceed with caution lol

Hahaha...

I can't be diabolical if I wanted to in that manner. He doesn't even hug me in front of her. All I need to do is make my presence known & I totally get to her. That alone is more than enough to piss her off.

Or maybe he's just doing this because he wants to cut ties with you too. If he does have feelings for you especially after all this time, he's probably like "you know what I need to fix this" and goes on an immature aqua scheme to ruin things. Who knows *shrugs*

Kinda like a cat "no I hate you!" "no wait I still love you" "NO GET AWAY!"

How long has he been dating her?

Posted by Theultra79
I understand that he's trying to keep the peace at home. He has kids with this woman and it sounds like she is a real handful. If he has to keep his friendship with you a secret from her, then it's not the right thing to be doing. He needs to stand up to her. Maybe he doesn't because he does like you romantically and realizes that her Insecurities aren't completely unwarranted when it comes to you. Idk...


However, their relationship doesn't sound sustainable at all. No aqua guy I know likes anybody telling them who they can be friends with. Or, trying to end their friendships. This may be a temporary problem.

And I most definetly think he mentioned your friend to get a response out of you. Calculated maneuver for sure.

Please...it's not. He also has kids with a Libra chick as well & he would bounce back between the 2. I was cool with the Leeb. He was married to the leeb & still loves her, but he settles for this possessive ass scorp bitch.

Yes, I DO believe he had motive to mention my ex, smh.

Posted by msmarilynmanson

Posted by RealTalk

Posted by msmarilynmanson
you are probably smokin hot and his chick is jealous. if you werent, she wouldnt care. when he acts cold in front of said chick give him a huge bear hug and proceed to blow her a kiss. its a wrap. beware: this tactic could incite strong female reaction, proceed with caution lol

Hahaha...

I can't be diabolical if I wanted to in that manner. He doesn't even hug me in front of her. All I need to do is make my presence known & I totally get to her. That alone is more than enough to piss her off.

let me know if you need diabolical. i wrote the book :-) hehe

click to expand

Nope. I got that covered. 😉

Posted by aquansidenout

Posted by Theultra79
I understand that he's trying to keep the peace at home. He has kids with this woman and it sounds like she is a real handful. If he has to keep his friendship with you a secret from her, then it's not the right thing to be doing. He needs to stand up to her. Maybe he doesn't because he does like you romantically and realizes that her Insecurities aren't completely unwarranted when it comes to you. Idk...


However, their relationship doesn't sound sustainable at all. No aqua guy I know likes anybody telling them who they can be friends with. Or, trying to end their friendships. This may be a temporary problem.

And I most definetly think he mentioned your friend to get a response out of you. Calculated maneuver for sure.

Sometimes it's completely opposite of this. Aqua men in my experience with either or both scorpio and capricorn in their chart love a woman who makes a big fuss about them. Perfect example one of my aqua exes whose married to a scorpio woman lovvvveeesss her drama. He even posted on fb one time about how he loves how possessive she is. Different strokes different folks. We're still friends but communicate mostly through fb. I would never call this because my goodness she would blow a gasket if she knew we not only were friends but lovers. I too have no desire to bed this man but try explaining that to a possessive scorpio. Believe me I know my mom is one. (Crazy as hell)

click to expand

I wouldn't give a damn how crazy they are. She just better keep that shit over there because I'm not the one. She doesn't say anything sideways to me or give me any looks, so she's straight. He tells me about her bitching.

Posted by BlueSandCacoon
How long has he been dating her?

IDK, I would say about 5 or 6 years.

"WTF? Shit like that will make me delete someone quickly. What do you guys think?"

I think the ball is in your court. I mean it's been 5-6 years already and he's still "putting up" with her. My feeling is that he's fine with her controlling him like that. Or he's willing to compromise/sacrifice that much for her.

"Ok, so do you guys think that he told me the negative info to get my attention because I was ignoring him? I think so, but I'm just really curious to hear it from another perspective. Any thoughts?"

He feels the friendship between you two is beginning to faint, so he's trying to reconnect with you. Yes, he's trying to get your attention.

He doesn't want to lose the friendship you two have shared for 15 years. However I think it's pretty obvious at this point that he may never do anything that puts the relationship with his woman (and kids) at risk. So that leaves you two options:

- Accept things as they are now. He's being "controlled" and you won't be able to hang out with him like before. You accept that your friendship has changed due to his relationship with the Scorp.

- Keep hoping he will confront her (not likely IMO).

- Walk away.

Seems pretty simple... but yeah (I assume) it really isn't.

*three options

Although not so much. (2) is not that much of an option to me, lol.

Scorpios and Aquarius are either really good together or its a horrific hot mess. Most Scorp Chicks that I know would try to befriend you to make sure that they could trace your moves. It sounds like this Aqua guy likes having the Scorp around so that he can mess with her head. Who knows what he is telling the Scorp chick about you. He may even have a chick on the side that he is really interested in and using your friendship as a decoy so that Scorp chick will focus all of her hatred onto you.

I think that you should consider demoting this guy to a birthday and holiday friend otherwise it is too much drama.

I don't understand why he'd want a woman like her. But, that's beside the point. I'm thinking you'll be happier if you lose him as a friend. Sucks, though.