Aquarius ex boyfriend

So, long story short I'm a 23 YO Pisces with an 32 year old Aqua ex wondering how it ended and if we're truly done. We dated for roughly 9 months and it was a ton of fun in the beginning. He's different than most other guys-smart, charming, witty, confident and funny but also VERY wise. Well, he broke up with me about a month ago and initially I didn't want to accept the breakup and thought giving him some space would make him realize it wasn't necessary but I haven't heard from him in a month.

His reason for breaking up with me: he doesn't think we're on the same page or the same level and although I knew that in the beginning, I was willing to see where the differences take us. We were two COMPLETELY different people. I'm quiet, shy and reserved and very sensitive and he's very outgoing, super popular, and more assertive and VERY caring with those he meets and has around him, but not very emotional-if that makes sense. I've honestly never met anyone like him, he's unlike my family or any of my friends so I was hesitant but he took me for one crazy ride filled with ups and downs. You Aquas are something else LOL!

My question is, is it really that simple for an Aqua to leave? Thinking were not on the same level? When we were together we'd argue because of my circle of friends and him believing they weren't helping me to grow and i'll admit a part of me loved the comfort of people on the same level as me who I could talk to , who I've known for a long time as I"m shy making new friends. He has honestly never met a stranger and is willing to talk to anyone and everyone and help but VERY selective on who he lets in his circle and only has 3 very close friends who he met when he was starting his business when he struggled. He works for himself so he's always meeting new people and can start a conversation about literally anything. My biggest pet peeve is that he couldn't accept me for where I was in life and his biggest gripe was that he thought I was very passive and I didn't want to grow or want more out of life than right now, which isn't true but i'm also very uncomfortable with new experiences and situations and I'm not like him; I can't just throw myself into something scary on purpose just for the purpose of helping me grow.

Do Aquas usually stay gone after they're gone? Or do they have a change of heart? Also, do you think this is a load of crap and he met someone else? Keep in mind, we've met both our parents and we spent the holidays together.

I realize this is long winded but any input is appreciated. Thanks!

It just a matter of incompatibility and he knows it's not going to change so he doesn't want to waste anymore of your time or his. He's an air sign and will probably grieve and get over it. I would not hang on to hope that he will be back. Sorry OP.

It seems pretty straight forward. He made up his mind and he is moving on.

You either meet him again and talk about it and see if you can make it work again or you should move on. Don’t wait for him without doing anything.

You seem intelligent, articulate and introverted. You just need something to make you step out of the comfort zone and try to reach your full potential. Maybe your frustration with the Aqua is the spark you need.

You are attracted to the qualities that Aqua has, but you don't. Did you know that he had to develop them too, most likely to be able to network and be successful in his business? Why not take baby steps in this direction? For example, make a list with different topics you think you can talked about, and learn more about them. Use "google search" to type keyword or questions, or just read some news. Google is a gift that this introverted Pisces didn't have when growing up, but you do!

You can do it, girl! Just learn new things to talk about, and practice them with your friends, nobody asks you to throw yourself into something scary, lol. In social situations, have a few questions prepared and a story to tell, in case you dare approach some stranger, and you'll feel less terrified!

Like most introverts, you are going to lose some of your "shyness" with age.

Yes, he may come back and leave again. Aquas usually do. Who cares? They suck at monogamy and are better as friends, anyway.

Posted by Aquarelle

No, it's not easy to leave, at least not for me. In fact I usually hold on way too long before I release someone. But when I do, there's almost no turning back. Fixed sign, you know? And that is because it took a while to realise that we are not on the same page. Your Aqua has been observing you and the relationship you two had. And he saw a few things he didn't like, but cannot be changed easily. At least, that is probably how he sees it.

If you are not on the same level, it can be hard to make things work. Would you be willing to change your group of friends for him? I don't think you should. Would you be willing to be less passive? Maybe not, because it's part of your energy, and that is what it is.

I think that in order for this to work between you, there had to change so much, that he thought it would be impossible to make these changes and that is why he quit. Because he realised people don't change. If he couldn't accept you for where you were in life, why would you want him back?

He didn't ask me to change my group of friends not that I ever actually would for anyone, but would tell me how important it be for me to have mentors and older friends. I think for him, he was so logical at times it was hard to grasp that I could just have a best friend who I've known for close to half my life who is different in every way than I am. As far as being less passive, I actually did express that was one of the things I wish I could do not for him but for myself but that's easier said than done and that takes time. Now that I think about it, we were in two completely different places but it doesn't make me miss him any less and I guess I just thought that he would wait for me

Posted by ArilovesAqu

No, it’s not easy for them to leave though they do make it look easy.

He probably will stay gone for a while until his feelings are gone.

I’m my experience with Aquas time and space is not necessarily a good thing. Even if they do miss you they’re not going to say anything.

I have broken up with my Aqua before but it was always a mutual decision to take a break from each other.

Did you say anything to him during the breakup? Like tell him how you felt about him or that you didn’t want to break up and you wanted to work on the issues?

I told him that when I love someone I'm all in and that I know we're two completely different people at times but I'd be willing to work through it. He said that while he believed me, and too cared, and that we come from two different worlds and though he appreciated where we were today he thought he was overextending himself and didn't want to force me to be where he wanted me to be but wanted me to experience life on my own timetable. Being with him was refreshing and intimidating at the same time sometimes. Sometimes he was chill, but most of the time, he was slaying dragons or putting out fires and while I am pretty productive myself, I believe, because of his upbringing and background (different culture) he would encourage me to want more for myself and me being a Pisces, it takes me awhile to stop, smell roses, regroup and then get going again. One of our biggest discussions was celebrating small wins. He didn't believe it was necessary given the big picture, I on the other hand always love a small win

Posted by Undine

You seem intelligent, articulate and introverted. You just need something to make you step out of the comfort zone and try to reach your full potential. Maybe your frustration with the Aqua is the spark you need.

You are attracted to the qualities that Aqua has, but you don't. Did you know that he had to develop them too, most likely to be able to network and be successful in his business? Why not take baby steps in this direction? For example, make a list with different topics you think you can talked about, and learn more about them. Use "google search" to type keyword or questions, or just read some news. Google is a gift that this introverted Pisces didn't have when growing up, but you do!

You can do it, girl! Just learn new things to talk about, and practice them with your friends, nobody asks you to throw yourself into something scary, lol. In social situations, have a few questions prepared and a story to tell, in case you dare approach some stranger, and you'll feel less terrified!

Like most introverts, you are going to lose some of your "shyness" with age.

Yes, he may come back and leave again. Aquas usually do. Who cares? They suck at monogamy and are better as friends, anyway.

Thank you! That little bit of encouragement I think I needed this morning! I see you're a Pisces as well! I may have forgotten to mention, one of the things I'm most attracted to about him, is the fact that at one point in his life he did in fact have to overcome a lot. I was born and raised in California, he moved here after college and basically got fired from his first job here, became homeless for a bit, and built his business over the course of a few years and everyone I've met who know him tell me how hardworking and relentless he is. Now while all that sounds fine and dandy, the flipside of that is that he is always in 'go' mode and that energy can be a bit daunting to be around. The irony is some of the things that you listed up top he encouraged me to do as well- I just didn't want HIM to be the one to always tell me to do it but rather for me to figure it out on my own through experiences and not feel forced. Its weird to explain but after being broken up for a month, I realize that was his way of showing he cared about me and my wellbeing was through encouraging me to do some of those things but when we were together I would see it simply as him pushing me to do something that wasn't a priority to me at the time.

Sounds like you've had your fair share of Aquarius partners? Am I right? Lol he was my first

Posted by piscesgirl714

Posted by Undine

You seem intelligent, articulate and introverted. You just need something to make you step out of the comfort zone and try to reach your full potential. Maybe your frustration with the Aqua is the spark you need.

You are attracted to the qualities that Aqua has, but you don't. Did you know that he had to develop them too, most likely to be able to network and be successful in his business? Why not take baby steps in this direction? For example, make a list with different topics you think you can talked about, and learn more about them. Use "google search" to type keyword or questions, or just read some news. Google is a gift that this introverted Pisces didn't have when growing up, but you do!

You can do it, girl! Just learn new things to talk about, and practice them with your friends, nobody asks you to throw yourself into something scary, lol. In social situations, have a few questions prepared and a story to tell, in case you dare approach some stranger, and you'll feel less terrified!

Like most introverts, you are going to lose some of your "shyness" with age.

Yes, he may come back and leave again. Aquas usually do. Who cares? They suck at monogamy and are better as friends, anyway.

Thank you! That little bit of encouragement I think I needed this morning! I see you're a Pisces as well! I may have forgotten to mention, one of the things I'm most attracted to about him, is the fact that at one point in his life he did in fact have to overcome a lot. I was born and raised in California, he moved here after college and basically got fired from his first job here, became homeless for a bit, and built his business over the course of a few years and everyone I've met who know him tell me how hardworking and relentless he is. Now while all that sounds fine and dandy, the flipside of that is that he is always in 'go' mode and that energy can be a bit daunting to be around. The irony is some of the things that you listed up top he encouraged me to do as well- I just didn't want HIM to be the one to always tell me to do it but rather for me to figure it out on my own through experiences and not feel forced. Its weird to explain but after being broken up for a month, I realize that was his way of showing he cared about me and my wellbeing was through encouraging me to do some of those things but when we were together I would see it simply as him pushing me to do something that wasn't a priority to me at the time.

Sounds like you've had your fair share of Aquarius partners? Am I right? Lol he was my first

click to expand

Of course 🙂. Father, ex mentor, longest friend and two ex lovers...Besides, I'm Aqua Venus and Mercury myself.

I can relate to everything you wrote in here, though. You are like a younger and more talented (at writing) version of myself. What I recommended you try, were things that worked for me. I figured out I had to prepare in advance when facing uncomfortable situations (social gatherings, talking to strangers) since I was not a natural. It's like in college. If you take your exams prepared, you'll feel less anxious. Perhaps even confident!

They feel all the emotions and disappointment that the rest of us feel, but move on and rebound pretty quickly. You should learn to do the same. In the meantime, don’t contact him. Keep yourself busy pursuing your goals, learning new things and socializing with friends/ family to help get him off your mind. Wish you the best!

Posted by Undine

Posted by piscesgirl714

Posted by Undine

You seem intelligent, articulate and introverted. You just need something to make you step out of the comfort zone and try to reach your full potential. Maybe your frustration with the Aqua is the spark you need.

You are attracted to the qualities that Aqua has, but you don't. Did you know that he had to develop them too, most likely to be able to network and be successful in his business? Why not take baby steps in this direction? For example, make a list with different topics you think you can talked about, and learn more about them. Use "google search" to type keyword or questions, or just read some news. Google is a gift that this introverted Pisces didn't have when growing up, but you do!

You can do it, girl! Just learn new things to talk about, and practice them with your friends, nobody asks you to throw yourself into something scary, lol. In social situations, have a few questions prepared and a story to tell, in case you dare approach some stranger, and you'll feel less terrified!

Like most introverts, you are going to lose some of your "shyness" with age.

Yes, he may come back and leave again. Aquas usually do. Who cares? They suck at monogamy and are better as friends, anyway.

Thank you! That little bit of encouragement I think I needed this morning! I see you're a Pisces as well! I may have forgotten to mention, one of the things I'm most attracted to about him, is the fact that at one point in his life he did in fact have to overcome a lot. I was born and raised in California, he moved here after college and basically got fired from his first job here, became homeless for a bit, and built his business over the course of a few years and everyone I've met who know him tell me how hardworking and relentless he is. Now while all that sounds fine and dandy, the flipside of that is that he is always in 'go' mode and that energy can be a bit daunting to be around. The irony is some of the things that you listed up top he encouraged me to do as well- I just didn't want HIM to be the one to always tell me to do it but rather for me to figure it out on my own through experiences and not feel forced. Its weird to explain but after being broken up for a month, I realize that was his way of showing he cared about me and my wellbeing was through encouraging me to do some of those things but when we were together I would see it simply as him pushing me to do something that wasn't a priority to me at the time.

Sounds like you've had your fair share of Aquarius partners? Am I right? Lol he was my first

Of course 🙂. Father, ex mentor, longest friend and two ex lovers...Besides, I'm Aqua Venus and Mercury myself.

I can relate to everything you wrote in here, though. You are like a younger and more talented (at writing) version of myself. What I recommended you try, were things that worked for me. I figured out I had to prepare in advance when facing uncomfortable situations (social gatherings, talking to strangers) since I was not a natural. It's like in college. If you take your exams prepared, you'll feel less anxious. Perhaps even confident!

click to expand

Thank you for that! I will try to implement some of those things. My biggest thing is I clam up and panic when confronted with things in 'real' time. Instead of dealing with things head on I tend to just brush them aside or hope they'll resolve themselves. Hopefully that's something that changes with time but I've always been that way growing up. That's one of the things that attracted me to my ex Aqua was his ability to deal with things head on and confront people face to face about issues; ironically one of the things we argued over was him wanting me to be more confident in my ability to communicate but I"m just not there yet. Thank you SO much for your advice! I'm going to start practicing that.

Thank you ALL for your advice. I think the things that's toughest to swallow for me is being used to interactions with people who were completely different so the radio silence and just not hearing anything not even a text or phone call is just different. I get it now, i'm just not as logical as some of you Aquas may be, my heart tends to lead my decisions and I'll be honest, there is a small part of me that wishes he would reach out and tell me he misses me but I also know it would suck because we're too different to be together.

THIS!! i am a pisces woman trying to figure out what went wrong with my aquarius ex. im seeing so many things in your post that i resonate with, especially him saying you two werent "on the same page" and ghosting as if none of it meant anything. my ex and i broke up 4 months ago and i usually move on fairly fast after relationships but this one is stumping me. i think the rejection that aquarius' can give out is on a different, seemingly sociopathic level that we as pisces just cant resonate with. but im going through almost the same thing, feel free to message me to talk about it!