Should I bother waiting for him?

Been seeing an aqua man for a little over two weeks. Things have been going quite fast even though he didn't want to. And I had tried not to. But I'm impatient. He's agreed to be exclusive, but no relationship. He's fine with just cuddling all night, so it's not like he's using me as a fwb(we've had sex).

He does not want to commit. Says he's very much afraid of feelings, and that he develops feelings very slowly. That I should not expect anything this year at least. He doesn't want to ruin my hopes and expectations, he says. He hasn't always been like this. He's had 2 long lasting relationships before and he's admitted to have been a hopeless romantic at times.

For now it's okay. I'm really trying to take things slowly but I'm very bad at it. I don't want to pressure him etc. I'm mostly alright because I haven't developed feelings yet either. But one day I will. And I'm finding myself pulling away slowly, sulking. Wondering if I should even bother? Are those just excuses?

The only man you should be waiting on is Jesus.

Posted by DMV

The only man you should be waiting on is Jesus.

😄

Posted by Ellygant

They’re not excuses, it’s how he really feels.

Not all feelings are love related, keep in mind yes?

It sounds like he sincerely enjoys your company, however if it wasn’t you it’d be someone else just as easily. If you’re already sulking, I’d exit. He’s been honest with what you should expect from him, and you admit that you’re already impatient and dissatisfied.

Never engage with situation which you are dissatisfied. It’s not personal or judgmental. Just intelligent.

He's a weird person, and so am I. He likes my weirdness/quirkyness. I can always be myself with him. With every other man I have to pretend I'm "normal". Otherwise I would have given up already. He doesn't know I'm sad. I don't tell him. I'm gemini influenced and have a need for space aswell so he thinks I'm just needing my space.

i genuinely don't understand exclusive but no relationship.

what does that mean? like exclusive fuck/cuddle buddies?

what parts of a relationship does he rule out?

seriously, genuinely curious about this set up.

Posted by jeane

i genuinely don't understand exclusive but no relationship.

what does that mean? like exclusive fuck/cuddle buddies?

what parts of a relationship does he rule out?

seriously, genuinely curious about this set up.

It basically means I have no right to whine about anything and demand answers.

Posted by FeelsyCancerW

Posted by jeane

i genuinely don't understand exclusive but no relationship.

what does that mean? like exclusive fuck/cuddle buddies?

what parts of a relationship does he rule out?

seriously, genuinely curious about this set up.

It basically means I have no right to whine about anything and demand answers.

click to expand

hmm, seems a bit unfair on you. i'm guessing you already know which way you are leaning.

OMG. These Aqua guys!! Urgh.

I’m actually having similar thoughts. Though I’m at the point where I feel like I’d “exit” just because things aren’t progressing the way I think they should. But that isn’t his fault.

Whenever I talk to someone else, I feel like I’d be settling. Not sure if that makes sense. I’d only give up on the Aqua because I “want a relationship right now” but not because I genuinely met someone that I want to be with. If I met someone else I’d wanna be with, I don’t think I’d feel like this. So I will wait, though it isn’t really waiting. It’s just living and seeing what happens. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on dating other guys because no one else even has me interested and makes me care as much as he does. Anyone else would be me settling just to “get something”. Not sure if any of this makes sense. I don’t quite get it either coz I don’t think I ever felt like this about someone.

If you care about him, who cares about “labels”. But if you want a relationship and are not feeling appreciated and feel like you’re missing out, then you should “exit”.

I've heard men know within seconds if they commit to you or not, plus 2 weeks necessary to somewhat get to know each other. Men as well have guts and decide instantly, if you have to wait for a year for him to commit I'd guess it sounds hopeless. What makes you think he will be there in a year after you are accustomed of his existence, what makes you so sure he's not going anywhere?

THIS is *why* women should NEVER place one egg in their basket 🤦

So, to answer your question? The answer is hell NO!

In order for him to figure out his feelings and commit, he needs to know you’re exclusive and you’re not just gonna run off with some other guy. He’s scared that he will end up being attached to you, but you will just leave.

He needs to know that he’s in a safe space to explore the feelings and decide to commit himself to you.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by sweetpea2977

THIS is *why* women should NEVER place one egg in their basket 🤦

Ya but he’s being clear, and she just wants what she wants.

Going to wear him down to force feelings.

click to expand

I agree for sure. He can't seem to be more direct than that!

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by jeane

i genuinely don't understand exclusive but no relationship.

what does that mean? like exclusive fuck/cuddle buddies?

what parts of a relationship does he rule out?

seriously, genuinely curious about this set up.

Their genitals are exclusive.

Her impatience probably has him red flag scared.

click to expand

You're absolutely right and I know it but can't help it. He's gonna run for the hills.

Posted by Leo138

In order for him to figure out his feelings and commit, he needs to know you’re exclusive and you’re not just gonna run off with some other guy. He’s scared that he will end up being attached to you, but you will just leave.

He needs to know that he’s in a safe space to explore the feelings and decide to commit himself to you.

No, it's not that. He couldn't care less about me. He tells me to do whatever I need to do. I'm like a social experiement for him apparently. He's gotten used to being alone and would like to continue to be alone or something.

Posted by FeelsyCancerW

Posted by Leo138

In order for him to figure out his feelings and commit, he needs to know you’re exclusive and you’re not just gonna run off with some other guy. He’s scared that he will end up being attached to you, but you will just leave.

He needs to know that he’s in a safe space to explore the feelings and decide to commit himself to you.

No, it's not that. He couldn't care less about me. He tells me to do whatever I need to do. I'm like a social experiement for him apparently. He's gotten used to being alone and would like to continue to be alone or something.

click to expand

Well if you know that and feel this way, why are you even asking?? Seems like you know that to do

Posted by Leo138

Posted by FeelsyCancerW

Posted by Leo138

In order for him to figure out his feelings and commit, he needs to know you’re exclusive and you’re not just gonna run off with some other guy. He’s scared that he will end up being attached to you, but you will just leave.

He needs to know that he’s in a safe space to explore the feelings and decide to commit himself to you.

No, it's not that. He couldn't care less about me. He tells me to do whatever I need to do. I'm like a social experiement for him apparently. He's gotten used to being alone and would like to continue to be alone or something.

Well if you know that and feel this way, why are you even asking?? Seems like you know that to do

click to expand

That's what I'm assuming from his behaviour.

For some reason, it's very hard for me to give up on this.

Posted by Ellygant

Aqua have a very accepting demeanor. Cancer can rarely feel accepted in the world. I think that’s why the two attract each other very often.

However the a sometimes negative tendency of cancer, is to lock onto one object of affection and think you’ll never find another person ever again like that. Which is true. But as much as you’ll never find that exact person, you could find someone way better matched for you. Or someone more fun. Or someone more quirky. Someone different in all the best ways.

Cancer has a hard time letting go sometimes, because they feel like anyone they let into their shell has to stay there forever. And if they don’t, they’ll leave a huge void when they’re gone.

They won’t. You will be fine with that space empty. And you will find someone, maybe a few someone’s, who not only take that space, but expand it and make your life all the richer for it.

That is so true! Thank you! 🙂

He has being honest. He seems in, but scared that it’s not going to work out or that you will ask too much of him and disappointing you.

Just relax and enjoy what you have. So far it’s very good. Still early days. And that you can be yourself only with him it’s a big plus.

Posted by FeelsyCancerW

Posted by Leo138

In order for him to figure out his feelings and commit, he needs to know you’re exclusive and you’re not just gonna run off with some other guy. He’s scared that he will end up being attached to you, but you will just leave.

He needs to know that he’s in a safe space to explore the feelings and decide to commit himself to you.

No, it's not that. He couldn't care less about me. He tells me to do whatever I need to do. I'm like a social experiement for him apparently. He's gotten used to being alone and would like to continue to be alone or something.

click to expand

That he tell you that you can do whatever you want doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care. That is how Aquarius are. They will never stop you. They encourage you to do whatever you want because that’s what they need from you too. They need to feel free

It's been TWO WEEKS.

Posted by pisceswoman123

He has being honest. He seems in, but scared that it’s not going to work out or that you will ask too much of him and disappointing you.

Just relax and enjoy what you have. So far it’s very good. Still early days. And that you can be yourself only with him it’s a big plus.

Exactly! I noticed too that they tend to be scared of commitment because they hate disappointing or hurting someone. They don’t like feeling like they’re needed.

Posted by Leo138

Posted by pisceswoman123

He has being honest. He seems in, but scared that it’s not going to work out or that you will ask too much of him and disappointing you.

Just relax and enjoy what you have. So far it’s very good. Still early days. And that you can be yourself only with him it’s a big plus.

Exactly! I noticed too that they tend to be scared of commitment because they hate disappointing or hurting someone. They don’t like feeling like they’re needed.

click to expand

Yes, they hate that. That is one of the reasons some they keep it very light until they know you are what they want and they fall for you

He told me he won't have sex with me anymore cause I would be scared he's using me for sex. He doesn't want me to be sad. He says life will sort things out and that I should do what I need to do.

Yeah, Jesus is kinda not my type. 😄