Aquarius friend has backed off

Hi,
I started to really hit it off with a new colleague at work, we work seperately but every now and then would bump into each other. She seemed to really like talking to me and me too to her. We kind of just clicked. I found her to be really friendly and sweet, i also was drawn to her as she is attractive and could tell she was different to everyone else at work.
Unfortunately a while later something happened where while i was talking she kept staring at me, making real intense eye contact. This made me uncomfortable, so i quickly looked away, but she kept doing it. The third time i held her eye contact which seemed like forever and i found myself unable to look away. On my side a felt this magnetic pull towards her.

The next time i saw her, she looked so frightened and nervous around me that i picked up on it straight away. I have been trying to act normal, trying to send her messages through conversations that everything is ok, and that we still could be frends. Really trying to reconnect with her. She is friendly and never rude to me, but its not like before. Its like if she sees me she sees me if she don't she don't.

Recently i asked her for a drink and catch up as we were breaking up for hoildays, she agreed to have a drink at the party with me. She did not make any effort to approach me for this drink. I finally asked casually ' hey wheres my drink 'and she looked at me like i had horns growing on my head. Any normal person would have given some response.

I feel so angry with myself to have invested so much effort and not got anything back, i feel drained out. The only reason i have kept on pursuing is because i felt i connected with her on a emotional level. While i am cool with this, its frightened her and i'm also beginning to think she may think i want an intimate realtionship with her, which i don't but how can i explain this when she has run to the hills with this. I know i have pushed some buttons in her.

Has any got any advice on why she is behaving like this and what should i do now?, right now i don't even want to ever say hello to her, but i know i will have to because of work.

Average frustrated chump, you are.

lol this isnt any help at all but .... damn AQUAS!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! lol. Dont beat urself up about it. Aquas are just tricky!!

Can you post a condensed version? My attention span is way too short to read all of that.

K. Chick is psycho. Forget about her...she doesn't know what she wants.

Posted by Shadows
K. Chick is psycho. Forget about her...she doesn't know what she wants.

LOLLL

Posted by KingofLibras
Guy saw chick. Chick seemed interested. Matched level of interest. Chick ran away, put him on ignore. Guy goes "wtf?" lolumad? The end.

sounds like what happened with my aqua. I just had to wait for her to come around... and she did.

I'm an aries - does that help?

By the way this is a friendship relationship i.e female/female and no i'm not gay incase anyone was wondering, we just hit it off or so i thought! These days its so hard to find to someone you really connect with, thats why this was a big deal for me and thought worth pursuing even though i sensed she had backed off and was politely hinting for me to do the same. Maybe she doesn't feel the same afterall or thinks i have a hidden agenda.

Thanks mnichols, i have been straight forward in my approach and friendly never blunt. Do you think she will come around? I think maybe she doesn't want to know anymore because for some strange reason she got scared of getting close, well with me anyway. You said she's aloof but she seems to get on with others just fine, really friendly and sweet. At the party she mingled with people and people seemed to want to be around her too....except me of course she just distanced herself from me and looked at me wierd when i asked for my drink!!

It's been doing my head in, what approach shall i take if i bump into her? Just Hi bye and casual? before it was hi by and casual chit chat.

Its already been 2 months...how much more time does she need??

Posted by buffy101

It's been doing my head in, what approach shall i take if i bump into her? Just Hi bye and casual? before it was hi by and casual chit chat.

I'm thoroughly confused. I've never seen anyone analyze potential friends so much that they need to come up with a game plan for locking down the friendship.

Are you sure you're not interested in her? I certainly wouldn't judge you at all if you were...this would all make a lot more sense.

I mean I totally get ya...its really hard to make new/good friends. No doubt about it. I just can't see myself wondering what happend with someone and what I should do the next time I see someone if they've blown me off for two months, you know? I'd just think they lost interest in being my friend.

I guess I'm having a hard time connecting what you're saying the issue is and what you are trying to do about it.

Lol..shadows, that made me laugh. I totally get what YOUR saying too, yes i am interested in her, very, but not in a sexual way as you might think, but we connected on an emotional level it was almost like a soul to soul connection or sisterly love. If your sister suddenly started to back off would you not try to make things right and analysis the situation and try and work it out. Ok my situation is different as we were acquintances going onto friends, i don't know much about her hence me i'm seeking advice.

But you know what... your right it has been 2 months,how much more time does she need,time to move on.
After all it takes two to tango!!

I'm sorry, buffy. It definitely seems like it would be best to let this one go. She may very well come back around and I would think you'd still be open to it, right?!

Its easier with just friendship type relationships because its not like...ok...I'm letting you go and moving on with other friends so don't even think of coming back at some point! You know? That way its not like you have to hold on really tight because one of you may make other friends. You can at least stop wondering about it and let things happen...no need to lock this chick down. 🙂

maybe she thinks your gay and that your attracted to her LOL

Posted by IAmMystified
maybe she thinks your gay and that your attracted to her LOL

That's what I was thinking too. Fire signs are really intense. I swear, sometimes I can FEEL the intensity exuding from their eyes & it can be piercing -- like Cyclops in X-Men lol. Maybe when you reciprocated the stare, she could really feel the intensity & it made her uncomfortable?

I never really try that hard to gain a friendship evenw hen I find someone I really connect with finally and think...damn they are such a great person and I like knowing them...and voom i rarely see them.

I don't like stare at them and focus on them.

Those kinda behaviors are of people I'm interested in (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX!)