Aquarius Guy- Confusion

Men will never admit this, but the stupid young ones are suckers for drama queens. The needy, whiny girls make insecure men feel good. Eventually the men will realize the girl isn't worth it but for the time being, they make him feel needed.

He never should have brought her and you should tell him that. Tell him that inviting him (and her) was a mistake that you will not repeat. You may lose him because he probably will be insecure for awhile but you will gain self-respect which is invaluable to meeting a decent guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Well this situation is kind of hard to critic because Aquas normally don't try to juggle 2 people unless they are literally TORN between the two. Most Aqua men become passive when feelings are involved & since Aquas are normally the dominant mate in the relationship, it becomes a pretty confusing ride when the Aqua is the one who's sort of being controlled. When it comes to situations like this, think outside the box. It's NEVER to early to express any kind of disappointment or hurt feelings to someone who's pushing all the wrong buttons. You claim this guy really likes you (especially more than her) so understand that even a passive Aqua has more respect for the person that is brave enough to put them in their place. By you not expressing your discomfort, you are being just as passive as he is. And in situations like this, you really can't listen to what others are telling you (him liking you more than her) because clearly HIS actions are different than THEIR words so the best thing to do is to know what you are getting yourself into & if you can't handle it now, you will always be bothered by this. It would be different if this other girl was an ex girlfriend (they come & go with time) but an Aqua being controlled by only a FRIEND is something that you might have to deal with if you chose to deal with him. Aquas are normally VERY loyal to those they care about so when it comes down to it, don't focus on how much more attention he pays you or her more than the other. Look at the big picture. If this guy only shows you some respect only SOME of the time, then maybe he's not the right person you should consider a potential for you. If he had've apologized the first time & made sure it would never happen again, that would be a different story, but just like any other situation like this, WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET. Don't try to compete with this other girl because (depending on how he REALLY feels about her, which is making him so passive in the first place), you're only adding more stress & possible hurt feelings in the long run. If I were you, I'll tell it like it is to him, & if he doesn't acknowledge you now when things really matter & while your flame for him is alive then he's not worth your time. Good luck 🙂

His actions mean EVERYTHING no matter what 3rd party information your getting, he's with her, going to her, making an initiative to be with her, that says EVERYTHING.

Put him on ignore, don't even look his way when he's in the vicinity, this will drive him NUTZ, Aqua's hate being ignored, don't smile at him, talk to him, say hi to him, flip him off as if he doesn't exist, if he truly likes you will he make an effort to gain your attention and time... even when he's standing in front of you move away from him, no eye contact, NOTHING, no you don't have to be mean but you can give him enough space to miss you, to want to be around you, the less available you are the more he wants what he can't have, which builds attraction and he will move towards you and want to be around you more...your right about not initiating conversation about the other woman after all she truly isn't important and if you talk about her then you show him that she is.

He's not that shy nor that passive because he's making an effort to be with someone he's supposedly not that into, shy & passive mess is rubbish, he's with whom he wants to be with, although she may not be that great or whatever, it doesn't matter, his ATTRACTION level is very very high and as long as he's attracted to her he will make an effort to be with her, i suggest you forget him and move on to someone thats going to give you more time and attention, I know it's frustrating to have to watch him be with someone that may be manipulative and domineering but why would you want someone that can be easily taken over by another human being.

Aqua's do what they want

Well said Tiki & leokitten...When I first read this post I kept thinking that Aqua men & passive rarely go in the same sentence. You're right. Aquas do whatever the hell they want & they always SHOW you more than they can TELL you. But when you really want someone bad enough, a person can make excuses for alot of things. Being passive & completely being rude & ignoring someone are 2 different things. If he approached you with this other girl on his arm & put his head down the whole time, that could possibly be considered as passive but this guy chose to completely keep walking past you which shows complete disregard of your presence & that is NOT being passive, that is showing your TRUE COLORS. What you SEE is what you GET & unfortunately, Aquas would rather have someone who can stand up to them (even when they're in the wrong & don't want to hear the truth) than they would someone who they know won't stand up for themselves after being walked on. If anything, don't think this Aqua guy doesn't notice your frustration (if he didn't notice it he wouldn't keep apologizing for something that you never even complained about to him) & trust me, he's watching your every move. He's seeing if you, yourself are going to be passive in speaking up or if you're going to continue to let him do his thing rather you're there or not. And YES, ignoring Aquas does drive us crazy BUT only when we care enough about the person ignoring us. If ignoring him doesn't bother him then I think you'll (at that moment) have all the answers to your questions.

And hell, let's say this girl IS just a "friend." One way or the other, ANY MAN (forget all the Aqua stuff) who doesn't know how to put others in their place at the right time is not someone you should consider even liking. You might like him alot, might like his charm & his conversation but FIRST & FOREMOST you have to be in acceptance of his actions & you are not. If this girl REALLY IS just a friend & if you chose to continue pursuing him then that will be YOUR problem if the frustration about her continues because all of the "red flags" are already in your face & because SHE was there BEFORE you, there is nothing more you can really do but either accept it or take a walk. Aquas think ALOT before they make a decision & trust me, when he saw you & ignored you, that was a CHOICE he made (not one SHE made) so try not to put all of his behaviors on her, because it's him. It's just as important to be open to seeing the "fishy" things about someone than it is to see all the good things about them

"He was trying not to hurt anyone and at the same time was trying to figure out what was right for him."

Absolutely. I am this exact same way (well I was before I was married). I'd keep several guys in my radar (that I considered potentials) & would date alot of them & sometimes would even flaunt one potential in front of the other, causing hard feelings from them to me. Sometimes when guy #1 would call I wouldn't answer because I'd be spending time with guy #2. And sometimes I'd be in the mood for guy #4 instead of guy #2. I liked all of them but was trying to figure out WHO was the best match for me & since I was classified as "in a relationship" with either of them, I felt I had that right. One way or the other, Aquas might date others while they are emotionaly unsure but when we finally do find the RIGHT person all of the #2, #3s & other stop & we fully dedicate ourselves to that #1. It's just a matter of WHO understands this about Aquas & who can handle it. Getting an Aqua to see you as BETTER than another potential on their list requires showing them you have the patience & the understanding of them. So to an extent, playing it cool & still showing interest is not a bad thing (if done right). But then again, I knew when certain guys were being passive about confronting me & I slowly started to dislike the guys who would watch me "F them over (in their mind)" & still try to pursue me because we Aquas surely don't. There's nothing wrong with pursuing someone who may not YET see the true value of you because after all, life is about proving yourself to others & sometimes you might have to deal with a little competition to get that person's heart (which is a better victory in the end when you finally win it) BUT that only applies to those who date different people with good intentions & with a good heart. Of course you've got people who purposely juggle several people just for the fun of it, not caring about who they hurt. ANd unfortunately, these are the same people that will send you cards all day long, give you constant apologies & come after you the MOST right when they see you starting to walk away (which is normally just a mind game they usually win at). Now with people like this, staying is only hurting YOURSELF. Each person (sizing up the situation) should be able to tell the difference

Correction: And since I was NOT classified as "In a relationship" with either of them...

"One way or the other, Aquas might date others while they are emotionaly unsure but when we finally do find the RIGHT person all of the #2, #3s & other stop & we fully dedicate ourselves to that #1."

YES!!! i totally agree with this statement. this is how my situation with my aqua fiance is... it seems that now that we are engaged, he is completely committed to us...where before he wasn't fully committed and he would look to see if the grass was greener. turns out, it wasn't 😉

"Anyway, from what I know of aquas, both male and female, "hooking up" is not the way to a romantic relationship or even any sort of solid relationship of any kind. Them finding you sexually attractive is not necessarily an indication that they will ultimately want to be with you or have a long-term situation with you, whether romantic or friendship. Yes, they might be considered a bit "emotionally complex" that way, compared to "most people". And quite often they have a hard time distinguishing between friendship and romance. It's all like a big bowl of mashed potato to them...and unfortunately...while it's said that aquas are the dominant party in a relationship...they often need a strong, assertive partner."

Very true. Aquas have TONS of friends & tons of communication with the outside world BUT creating an inside world where it's just us & one other person is a VERY VERY hard think to conquer. We Aquas know that we are very difficult & we sometimes try to fix our flaws by giving others a chance, which is why sometimes we confuse friendships with romance. So many people try to make Aquas out to be cold-blooded, unemotional creatures & we hate that because we love just as hard as anyone else does. So when we're dating, we'll try to be a little bit easier on the other person & the minute we put our guards down & step out of our normal comfort zone we might find ourselves falling for someone that we normally wouldn't fall for...and once this happens, we slap ourselves in the head & remind ourselves of why we are so enclosed in a shell in the first place. Aquas are known for having very short-term & quick relationships. The passion & flame for the other person (especially if they are physically attractive) is very HIGH in the beginning & then quickly, things just die down. But someone who can take our minds to another world (intellectually)is someone we plan to keep & hold on to & unfortunately, now a days sometimes we have to judge a book by the cover, so most of the potentials never even make it past step 1 & the people that ACTUALLY do are the people we keep our eyes on the most...but the problem is, most of the time that person gives up on us RIGHT when we were starting to make that transition to commitment & when that happens, we go right back into our shell & don't feel bad about a thing...thus the cycle continues

The thing most people don't understand about Aquas is that once we love you, we love you for a longggg time. Once you "get the job," we don't let the "little things" bother us like we would've when we were just "dating" that person. And most people don't understand that commitment for Aquas is a long drawn out process (that we feel justified for). We might act distant & detached in the beginning (is a way for us to conceil our feelings until we know for a fact that showing them will be necessary in the long run) but eventually, if we continue to confide in you, trust in you & spend our time & attention with you we slowly start to transition into amazing & loyal lovers. But some people assume that the way we are in the beginning (need space alot, distant) is the way we'll ALWAYS be as if they have no hope with us. And sometimes I can't blame the people that said "aw to hell with her" and walk away because to an extent Aquas hate for someone else to hold back on them. In our minds we hold back because we are always trying to make the right decision (which normally involves everything BUT rushing) but when someone else holds back we generally think it's because they are hiding something from us, or that they are not as interested in us like we thought & that alone will cause us to keep our distance no matter HOW much we love or have feelings for you. We are all about protecting ourselves. Some people would prefer to jump out of a plane without a parachute, but we Aquas think that kind of thinking is irrational (even though we've heard stories about it working out for others)

"Aquas choose their acquaintances based on their entertainment value, but they choose their friends based on their ability to naturally relate to the aqua."


wow, your right.

Some men realize 2 divorces and 3 kids too late...

Game playing on HIS part is kind of what I'm thinking too. Yes, true Aquas don't really hide their avoidance of a person when they generally are NOT interested but then again, Aquas can easily pick up on someone else' frustration (especially if we know we caused it) & we're constantly observe how the other person responds the the rejection we are putting out (We call it thinking practical & taking baby steps; THEY call it rejection) & because we have all of our actions justified in our own minds (especially since it seems to work every time) we tend to give out tests to see what it will take for a person's true colors to come out. Maybe he's waiting on you to explode, be real & come out with your feelings so that he can see some kind of backbone from you, or maybe he's testing to see how are "endurance" wise & how patient you are (things that are VERY important to Aquas) & honestly, if he IS testing you, he's definetely created the PERFECT one. He's got you going insane, asking questions, wanting answers & rethinking your decisions on how you've acted thus far & maybe this is another way of him doing the typical "investigative" behavior that's normal for Aquas. Who knows. In this situation, you're almosted Damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you stay & continue to pursue him you might be wasting your time (especially if he's not playing games & is really trying to SHOW YOU without telling you that's he's NOT interested). But if you give up & walk away (especially if this guy was 2 seconds away from giving his heart to you), then you'll lose your chance to EVER have his heart again.

I disagree about the testing bit, Aqau's don't test, we are being ourselves and we observe how our behavior effects the environment and if we see how it causes someone discomfort or pain given the level of feelings the Aqua has for that person he/she will go out of the way to recreate a positive vibe. Any man should be pushed to the side if he can't show you how important you are. It seems the ignoring is working because he's clearly making an effort to at least be your friend which is a positive sign.

True Aqua's will not give you the time of day if they can't connect with a person on a mental level, you wouldn't be in his world b/c no mental connect means boring for an Aqua so obviously there was a connection and he's open to see whats there between you be it relationship or friendship. Be patient, very patient but don't go out of your way to make yourself too available to him, if he connected with you on a mental level he will not want to lose that and will find ways to be with or around you.

I know women feel men test but I jus feel it's bologney, men that don't want a relationship test and play games, so if you feel he's testing you then he's a difficult breed, find a new love d:

"disagree about the testing bit, Aqau's don't test, we are being ourselves and we observe how our behavior effects the environment and if we see how it causes someone discomfort or pain given the level of feelings the Aqua has for that person he/she will go out of the way to recreate a positive vibe"

Testing someone doesn't mean that you CHANGE who you are. Testing someone (in my mind as an Aqua) means showing your true colors & who you are & seeing how another person deals with it. After all, Aquas do tend to be distant & normally DO NOT show all of their emotions like they do their personality in general & when we begin to show our emotions (especially when attempting to pursue someone) we generally are VERY observant of how the person receives or rejects the signals that we are sending out. It all comes down to everyone's individual definition of testing.

For example, I tend to be VERY non-chalant about alot of things. And in the beginning stages of me dating someone I normally either completely bring out this side of me or completely conceil it. Either way, if I bring it out & show the person who I REALLY am as time goes on I test them to see how they respond to certain non-chalant statements that I make & how they respond tells me alot about them. I believe testing is something natural to Aquas because first & foremost, we feel misunderstood all the time & making sure the other person is in complete acceptance of us is the most important to us. Another example. When I first start dating, I always let the other person chase me FIRST. Sure, I'll call them or initiate a date BUT only AFTER they've done these things first. And when I can slowly start to feel myself opening up I'll find myself on the phone making statements just to see how they react to what I say...And the statements I make are COMPLETELY true of how I feel (it's not like I'm making them up or changing my thoughts)

Testing between men and women means different things.

when men test they usually air on the playing games side of the test to sniff out weakness, how much a woman will tolerate, how much she likes him etc.

some women test out of acceptance, being socially accepted in some way or another, who to gravitate towards or to stay away from.

Honestly I don't feel Aquas care if people are accepting of us, we are the rebels of the zodiac group.

I truly feel most Aquas could careless if a person likes or dislikes, we are who we are and if the other person doesn't gravitate towards us mentally then 99% of the time an Aqua will dismiss and move on.

Mental connections means everything to us, I have met someone without knowing a name and connected quickly which will naturally make me put my gaurd down and show myself. When a person can get into an Aqua's mindspace they have mastered the hard part of the Aqua's personality because we aren't so gaurded with whom we are once the mental connection has been made, Aqua's are aloof and distant when nothing in the room interest us ie everyone seems boring, once a mental connection has been made that lucky someone or group of people get a whole nother Aqua experience.

Actually krysrenee we said the same thing in a different way d:

"Honestly I don't feel Aquas care if people are accepting of us, we are the rebels of the zodiac group.

I truly feel most Aquas could careless if a person likes or dislikes, we are who we are and if the other person doesn't gravitate towards us mentally then 99% of the time an Aqua will dismiss and move on. "

Yes, true Aquas don't generally care if someone likes or dislikes when there is not yet a mental connection BUT things are a little different when an Aqua is more than interested in someone. When an Aqua has already started to open their heart to someone they are starting to genuinely care about, making sure the other person is on the same page MENTALLY IS very important to us. Sure, I could give a rat's A*s who doesn't like or accept me but as with most people, EVERYONE hopes that the person they love, loves them with the same amount of energy & effort. See, there is a difference between an Aqua BEFORE the intellectual connection & an Aqua AFTER the connection has already been established.

"Actually krysrenee we said the same thing in a different way d:"

I started to realize that as I was typing 🙂