Confusion....

Ive been seeing this aqua girl for about over a year now and we have fallin in love with each other.This relationship that we have has not been made official.We have made it clear that we werent going to see other people either.We had sex for the first time on valentines day and ever since then things have gone downhill and shes been distant from me.Ive figured out that she is confused about the sex and she tells me that she is not sure that she is ready to be in a serious relationship.I know that I need to give her space and I always have given it to her when she decided to go on her "Aqua cold spells" as i like to call it.Ive never pressured her or forced her to do anything she didnt want to do.Id like to know from an aquarian girl point of view,what makes you guys ready for a relationship because at this point i feel that i have pulled out all of the stops?

Understand that sometimes a woman's resistance to committment has NOTHING to do with you. It starts with the inside.

This girl has got some intimacy issues & the proof of that is in how she keeps disappearing or making things over-complicated for you the min. things start to progress to the next level. It sounds like she's purposely putting roadblocks in her own way and/or placing the bar too high on purpose so that she can continually have an excuse to not fully commit to you.

This kind of thing happens to women all the time. The man claims he likes her, acts like he's already her boyfriend, they do everything as if they were already a couple & then BOOM!..the min. the topic of committment comes up, 1 person (cough: the guy) always comes up short or gives the woman a longggg list of excuses/justifications for why committment is just not their cup of tea in the moment.

And what do we tell the women who are in these kinds of situations? We tell them to run like hell, to back out now & to stop expecting for someone to give you something they just don't have. We remind her that she'll continually waste her time & drain herself out while trying to do everything short of sending him to the moon, all just to get the same "Sorry, I STILL can't commit to you line" after all the deeds have been done. Then, once the female realizes this, she feels used, taken for granted & still can't really fathom the idea that someone she loved & considered so precious would drag her through such an emotional rollercoaster. The guy never usually ends up changing in enough time & after she's finally fed up, he/she finally breaks it off. The end.

Just b/c the tables are turned & just b/c you're a guy doesn't mean that advice for these specific situations will be different. The same logic applies to men too.

So to answer your question, what will make an Aquarian girl want commitment?

1. She's got to WANT to commit to you. If she's too afraid of it, it won't matter if you do all OR nothing for her. It'll all be in vain until SHE'S ready for it b/c SHE made the decision to commit & NOT b/c you guilted/pressured/forced her into it.

2. She'll be ready when she's finally sorted out whatever issues going on within her that are stopping her from committing to you in the 1st place. I don't think this is a matter of her not liking/loving you. Oh she probably loves you to pieces, BUT her inner battles greatly overshadow/outweigh her feelings for you. THAT is the problem. And that problem won't go away until she's ready to face her inner demons.

3. One thing's for sure, it'll be twice as hard for her to accept committing to you when things are deep & "level 2" intense, when yet she can't even get past level 1. In other words, you BOTH need to STOP allowing the friendship/relationship to progress (through sex or whatever you guys are doing that is causing your feelings for eachother to increase) to higher levels if she can't even appreciate or conform to the level before. The more advanced the relationship gets, the harder it'll be for her to commit to you, b/c it'll mean that she'll have to peel back even MORE layers just to get to the root of her problems

aqua girls see right thru me. Dey dont like me at all...