Deceitful cheating Aqua man - help!

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londonlibralady
@londonlibralady
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 39 · Topics: 5
So i was dating this Aqua guy and we'd gone out a few times and it had been great, we'd made out a few times, he told me he really liked me and wanted to keep seeing me, but then he just stopped meeting up with me, but always made excuses to why he couldn't e.g busy, work, with friends. And i thought maybe he'd lost interest, but he still spoke to me non-stop, all day, everyday without fail. He would always pay me attention and tell me i'm beautiful etc, but when it came to meeting up, he just wouldn't do it, like there was something holding him back. At first i believed he was just busy, he kept saying "we'll go out soon i promise" and then i just got bored of waiting, and we just became good friends who speak every day instead, but he still flirts with me A LOT, and sometimes i get the odd, sexy photo. I am romantically interested in someone else now though, but still enjoy talking to Aqua man, i enjoy our conversations, he is a good person to vent my feelings to, i still enjoy the attention and its nice to know there is someone i can always speak to about anything.
Anyway, we were talking yesterday, and i joked about saying it would be nice to hang out with him again before christmas, and he replied "perhaps" which really irritated me, so i said, "god you really don't want to meet up again do you? this is really weird, are you in a relationship or something?!"
he said "basically yes". i was so shocked. he said he'd been in a relationship for over a year, with a girl, and was still with her whilst dating me, and that's why he stopped meeting up with me, because he felt bad. he said he's been trying to break up with her for months but doesn't want to hurt her feelings and admits he doesn't have the balls to do it. i said "why did you even date me if you were in a relationship" he said "i thought i would have broken up with her by the time we dated and you were so gorgeous i couldn't resist" then he said "i hated keeping you in the dark about all of this. i am going to break up with her soon". i asked 2 or 3 times why he wanted to break up with her, and he wouldn't give me a reason, which made me think, he is probably lying. i then got angry for about 3 hours, telling him he's disgusting and an idiot, telling him to be honest with his girlfriend, i really laid into him, and he took it all on his chin, and agreed with me and apologised. he kept apologising and i just stopped answering his texts. he has made numerous attempts to start conversations with me
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aquasnoz
@aquasnoz
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
Tell it as it is, you just want a friend. Mention it everytime it's inappropriate when he flirts with you and basically don't give him the chance to ever make a move. Talk about your romantic interests etc and we'll see how fast it kills it for him lol.

Like honestly, all this being nice to you, have you thought he was just trying to make sure he could get in your pants? Once he does wouldn't there be that lingering suspicion he's onto the next girl that he's not telling you about.
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londonlibralady
@londonlibralady
11 Years

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Posted by Damnata
I have 2 questions (in case you aren't trolling):

1) What's your relationship with your father?

2) What does your chart look like? Because I feel Virgo/6th house.

http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal<BR>
Input the birth data and scroll down til you see a table.

Tell me what's written there

Sun ..
Moon..
Mercury...

etc



Ok, my relationship with my father was strong, when i was a child and teenager we were very close, best friends, at 17 he divorced from my mother, and our relationship became difficult, but he is very supportive of me still and looks after me, although we are not really "friends" anymore. He is a loving dad.

My chart says
Sun Libra,
Moon Capricorn,
Mercury Virgo,
Venus Sagittarius,
Mars Libra,
Jupiter Cancer,
Saturn/Uranus/Neptune Capricorn,
Pluto Scorp
Lilith Libra
Asc node Aquarius
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londonlibralady
@londonlibralady
11 Years

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Posted by aquasnoz

Like honestly, all this being nice to you, have you thought he was just trying to make sure he could get in your pants? Once he does wouldn't there be that lingering suspicion he's onto the next girl that he's not telling you about.



Well thats the thing, i gave him so many opportunities to get in my pants, (before i was romantically interested in someone else), and he never did!! I'm quite sure he does want to get into my pants though, but he was always happiest talking to me instead.
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LivingOnPorpoise
@LivingOnPorpoise
11 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 124 · Posts: 843 · Topics: 79
Don't even be his friend forgive and move on. You are so sweet however 🙂 , but you deserve a man who wont put you through such turmoil. He is obviously self centered, manipulative, non committing and wait... I am describing aqua traits here lol. However seriously he wont even be honest in his friendships I am sure. He probably never took the opportunity knowing he was still with her and probably is still engaging in intimate relations with her as well, while probably having another girl as well he flirts with.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

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Posted by Damnata
Ugh Libra stellium.

Read up on "Libra stellium"

It makes you indecisive.



probably drove him insane. O_O

that Capricorn moon usually describes your relationship with your mother. It can be allright, but if you haven't resolved and understood or forgiven your mother/tried to reconcile or just ACCEPT who she is......then you'll have some problems emotionally with your mate.

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aquasnoz
@aquasnoz
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
Posted by londonlibralady
Posted by aquasnoz

Like honestly, all this being nice to you, have you thought he was just trying to make sure he could get in your pants? Once he does wouldn't there be that lingering suspicion he's onto the next girl that he's not telling you about.



Well thats the thing, i gave him so many opportunities to get in my pants, (before i was romantically interested in someone else), and he never did!! I'm quite sure he does want to get into my pants though, but he was always happiest talking to me instead.
click to expand




If you can find out for me, his chart, I have a theory. Time isn't necessary though it'll be more accurate. It's sorta along the lines of wanting to be too nice and love addict.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
He may be a douche, but you're no better.

1. You are not his friend! What you described isn't a friendship. It's called keeping your options open. You keep him around for 2 reasons: 1) attention seeking (he boosts your ego with all the flirting and compliments); and 2) in the hopes that he'll come around, which ultimately leads to you being a deceitful cheating libra to the other guy you're dating now.

2. You're emotionally cheating on the guy you're interested in now and the mere fact that you are offended that he's in a relationship and finally admitted shows that clearly.

So indeed, this is the case of the pot calling the kettle black.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
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I guess he's not a big douche as I initially thought. This man is somewhat honorable because he acknowledges his guilty conscience and has actively restrained himself from doing something really detrimental to his relationship or opportunistic such as sleeping with you and leading you on for years or months to believe something that's not true. The thing I admire here is that the truth came from him. You didn't discover it on your own. I give credit to those who come clean vs. people who keep the truth from you. That's the difference between honorable and dishonorable.
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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
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Posted by londonlibralady
hmmm yes i know......it sounds silly... i just feel like i want to give him another chance... i can never tell whether i'm overreacting about a situation or not!
i just want to know what other people would do in my shoes...




this is what you ultimately want to hear :: Yes, give him a chance because that's what you really want to do deep down and that's what you will do.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
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Posted by Sugarfoot
Wow. Denial is real. How is it the pot calling the kettle black or cheating when she clearly stated that she has a new love interest in the OP? I can see that maybe she was keeping her options open. But, how does that somehow negate everything he did? Lol. And if, she'd never asked him was he in a relationship, would he have ever told her? Probably not.

@london

It's good to forgive people but I am agreed with the majority that he's not worth keeping around as a friend. Friends will be real with you. This guy is more concerned about getting what he wants from people than giving them the respect of honesty. Focus on yourself and the Leo and remove the attachment with this aqua.



Umm he's concerned about what we wants? He started avoiding her and when she asked, after getting angry, he confessed. If he was really a douche to the max, he'd sleep with her couple times, go see her whenever she wanted to meet up. This guy isn't your typical douche. He's actually better than her in ethics because he restrains himself whereas she keeps him around while she's with a Leo. Nobody cares to think about her new guy because the OP omitted the info. Tsk tsk tsk.
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londonlibralady
@londonlibralady
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 39 · Topics: 5
Posted by aquarius09
He may be a douche, but you're no better.

1. You are not his friend! What you described isn't a friendship. It's called keeping your options open. You keep him around for 2 reasons: 1) attention seeking (he boosts your ego with all the flirting and compliments); and 2) in the hopes that he'll come around, which ultimately leads to you being a deceitful cheating libra to the other guy you're dating now.

2. You're emotionally cheating on the guy you're interested in now and the mere fact that you are offended that he's in a relationship and finally admitted shows that clearly.

So indeed, this is the case of the pot calling the kettle black.


yeah this is all wrong. i stopped showing interest in him romantically after he stopped wanting to meet up and remained friends with him. i have a new leo romantic interest. i am not emotionally cheating on the leo. infact, i told my leo all about it and asked him for advice.
of course i am offended that he was in a relationship whilst he dated me, because i originally met him on a dating website, where his relationship status was set as single, when infact he wasn't. i don't have hope that he'll "come around", he is begging for my attention, i like being his friend and having him to talk to, but the whole point of this thread was that i was unsure if i could keep him as a friend, and i was unsure whether this is regular aqua behaviour. i like him as a person, and i almost feel a little bad to just completely ditch him, because at the end of the day, he was honest eventually.
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londonlibralady
@londonlibralady
11 Years

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Posted by LadyOfRebirth
In the meanwhile, earlier on today you posted in the Leo forum:

Posted by londonlibralady

hahaha! EXACTLY how my leo behaves.




Typical case of the pot calling the kettle black😉
click to expand




you didn't read my post properly. i moved on to a leo after aqua man stopped wanting to meet up. my leo knows all about this. this is about whether i can keep him as a trustworthy friend.
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londonlibralady
@londonlibralady
11 Years

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Posted by Sugarfoot
Wow. Denial is real. How is it the pot calling the kettle black or cheating when she clearly stated that she has a new love interest in the OP? I can see that maybe she was keeping her options open. But, how does that somehow negate everything he did? Lol. And if, she'd never asked him was he in a relationship, would he have ever told her? Probably not.

@london

It's good to forgive people but I am agreed with the majority that he's not worth keeping around as a friend. Friends will be real with you. This guy is more concerned about getting what he wants from people than giving them the respect of honesty. Focus on yourself and the Leo and remove the attachment with this aqua.



thank you! i was just confused because, he did lie to me and emotionally cheat on his girlfriend, but he didn't sleep with me after having many opportunities whilst we were "dating", he could've screwed me and taken off, but he didn't. i wouldn't ever trust him as someone to date anymore, but i wondered maybe after coming clean and realising that he could have been much worse, that maybe we could salvage a friendship from it. i've questioned him about it heavily and he assures me he is being honest now and he's in therapy because he's been "a bit messed up". everyone makes mistakes. but i've tried to have a normal conversation with him since finding out, and it feels slightly tainted now. so maybe a friendship isn't salvagable. i don't have an attachment to him, but i just always try to give people another chance, because i screw up with things all the time, and i know i'd want others to give me a second chance.
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londonlibralady
@londonlibralady
11 Years

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i think what i FAILED to include is that, when i was dating him, he was never sleazy or inappropriate, he isn't the player type at all, he was always very respectful and gentlemanly, and as a friend, he was very kind and understanding, generous with his time.
and yes, guilty as charged, i like getting male attention, who doesn't?! but my reasons for wondering whether i should keep him around are not based on attention. i dislike holding grudges, and being a libra, i'm trying to balance out the situation. yes, he was dishonest, but he could have slept with me and he didn't, yes, he initially kept it from me that he was in a relationship when we were dating, but he did come clean about it eventually. i feel like he's not a totally bad person. i have a very strong intuition about when people are lying or being deceitful, or if they happen to be that kind of person, but i didn't get that vibe from him at all, that's why i was so shocked when he told me. he was very apologetic and i can tell he feels terrible, i get the feeling that this might have just been a nasty blip for him. but i just wanted some advice on aqua behaviour, because i don't know much about them, and if it turns out he probably is going to keep behaving badly like this, then i'll know it won't be worth keeping him around.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
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Ok lemme remind you where you are. You are in the forum of a sign quite well-known for FRIENDSHIPS. So your delusional definition of friendship isn't gonna work here. I'm gonna state this once more and as simply as possible and I wonder if your libra delusional self can grasp that what you have is NOT friendship.

1) He is NOT your friend. He is an old love interest of yours that you kept around because he flirts with you and flatters your ego. Seeing as he's an aqua, he doesn't see you as a friend. He sees you as a side chick who he's lied and cheated on. You mentioned somewhere you like attention, but who doesn't. No honey, that's attentionwhore behavior and not everyone likes that. Confident people don't do that. You're an insecure libra and that's why you do that.

For argument sake, even if I were to believe that he's your "friend" and you want to give his "friendship" a second chance, then my question to you is why do you want friendship from a person who has proven to be so unreliable as a friend? Usually friendship > romance and if he can't even be truthful to you as a friend, then he definitely won't be honest as a bf, as he isn't with his current gf. Notice that the entire context here is leading to love or romance, which leads me to say, once again, that he's not your friend.

The only reason you are calling him a friend here and using the Leo as a new love interest is because the aqua treated you how typical side chicks are treated. Let's be honest: if the aqua left his gf and came to you, would you leave your Leo and go to the aqua? Yes, you will. Especially given that you are hurting over what he did back when you were dating. If I was dating a new guy who I was really into, it wouldn't matter what an ex lover did. I'd be indifferent, but I would go cuss off the ex lover for double crossing me and dismiss him. You should be glad you found this out and leave his ass in the dust. Instead you are venting, and about what? Your emotions here indicate that you have feelings for him and he's not just a friend. He's your side guy that you keep in the hopes of coming around.

Self-awareness is a powerful and enlightening thing. If you were honest with yourself, this post wouldn't be created.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
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Nobody pines over losing a couple months old friendship, even though it wasn't a friendship. What exactly did you receive from his "friendship" anyway? You got yourself a flakey friend who didn't wanna hang out with you because he didn't see you as a friend and hanging out with you was doing wrong to his gf. At best, he was a good listener who boosted your ego.
A listener can be any friend and as for ego boosting, that explains what is at lost here.

You are just upset about losing a guy that boosted your ego. You're a very insecure lil girl and I would suggest you fix your self-esteem. I highly doubt that your Leo knows half as much as us on dxp because no guy would allow your shit given that he's seeing you as a potential gf material and not one night stand.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Just an observation...

Aquas tend to be long winded, I must be the exception!



same here. i dislike overtly chatty people in real life. Typing and writing i can tell too, like krysenee is overtly windy even though we don't know how she talks. But she can plug out an entire ESSAY of 15 pages of relationship guidance.

y'know what? i don't know....i've seen and witnessed water suns do the same thing, plug out entire essays. I don't think this is sun sign thing or dominant air. i'm guessing this is all three air houses.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
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Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Just an observation...

Aquas tend to be long winded, I must be the exception!



same here. i dislike overtly chatty people in real life. Typing and writing i can tell too, like krysenee is overtly windy even though we don't know how she talks. But she can plug out an entire ESSAY of 15 pages of relationship guidance.
.
click to expand




Backbiting, are you? lol. Well, that's because you're plain dumb! lol. Intelligent people like Krys are long winded because it takes a lot longer to articulate their thoughts as there's so much to say.

I mean don't get me wrong, dumb people like yourself are long winded too, but it ain't a pretty sight. It's really dreadful. lol. If you ever went on a rant, God help us all because it would be a rant filled with pure irrelevant shit containing celeb or your one and only friend's (hubby) comparisons. I'm scared just thinking about that. Anyway, thank you for not being long winded.
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aquasnoz
@aquasnoz
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Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
My advice would be to let him make the move, let him own up to what he's doing and say and act no further on this whole situation. This definitely isn't an isolated incident, in fact, it all played out identically to what my step brother went through (He also had air moon/merc strung along with that pisces venus).

I have nice things to say about pisces venus, also terrible things, myself included. But fundamentally I really view it as a manipulative placement, master of it. Coupled with the other placements I'm inclining towards what he told you are all true. He wanted to be selfish without hurting the lot of you but backfired.

My take is simple, don't let that "Air" thing happen and keeping people as friends. If you do, set the boundary and definitely remember the fact the whole basis of your meeting is "attraction". You might view it as friendship but I'll tell you now an Aqua with that placement will never let you know his true intention.
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londonlibralady
@londonlibralady
11 Years

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Posted by aquarius09
Let's be honest: if the aqua left his gf and came to you, would you leave your Leo and go to the aqua? Yes, you will. Especially given that you are hurting over what he did back when you were dating. If I was dating a new guy who I was really into, it wouldn't matter what an ex lover did. I'd be indifferent, but I would go cuss off the ex lover for double crossing me and dismiss him. You should be glad you found this out and leave his ass in the dust. Instead you are venting, and about what? Your emotions here indicate that you have feelings for him and he's not just a friend. He's your side guy that you keep in the hopes of coming around.

Self-awareness is a powerful and enlightening thing. If you were honest with yourself, this post wouldn't be created.



I just laughed out loud. I am 100 times crazier about my leo than i ever was about the aqua and i am happy with my leo. if the aqua dumped his girlfiend and asked me to be his gf, i wouldn't have left my leo, even if none of this had happened. so you're completely wrong. I didn't think i had to spell it out like this but I HAVE NO ROMANTIC INTEREST IN THIS AQUA. and when i did, it wasn't anything compared to this leo. i am not using my leo, in fact i'm pretty sure i'm going to be with this leo for a very long time. you know, it's highly irritating to come here kindly asking for advice, and then you bring up my leo which is completely irrelevant, and then make incorrect assumptions about me of having non existant feelings, and try to turn this around on me, when really what i am trying to do is be kind and forgiving to someone who wronged me.

i'm not hurt by this aqua's behaviour, because i'm not interested in him romantically. but i am sad because i got on well with him and we had great conversations, and now that is all tainted by his untrustworthy behaviour. IF i had romantic feelings for him, then i absolutely would have ditched him, because i would have been very hurt, but i see absolutely no romantic future between myself and this aqua, and i didn't before this happened, but i did see a friendship for us. he is not a side guy. i don't have "side guys".

i can't even believe i'm defending myself against this message. you've read my message and regurgitated it into something completely different.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Just an observation...
Aquas tend to be long winded, I must be the exception!


same here. i dislike overtly chatty people in real life. Typing and writing i can tell too, like krysenee is overtly windy even though we don't know how she talks. But she can plug out an entire ESSAY of 15 pages of relationship guidance.
.


Backbiting, are you? lol. Well, that's because you're plain dumb! lol. Intelligent people like Krys are long winded because it takes a lot longer to articulate their thoughts as there's so much to say.
I mean don't get me wrong, dumb people like yourself are long winded too, but it ain't a pretty sight. It's really dreadful. lol. If you ever went on a rant, God help us all because it would be a rant filled with pure irrelevant shit containing celeb or your one and only friend's (hubby) comparisons. I'm scared just thinking about that. Anyway, thank you for not being long winded.
click to expand


i wonder why you're so quick to defend her? i don't like chatty ass people in real life, i don't give a fuck. Maybe cause you're a chatty ass yourself and i doubt anyone would marry you, because lo and behold, bitch...you're still single even after a year here bitching and moaning with your chatty ass self. i don't like your energy and you don't like me. So..here's a clue. Fuck you bitch.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Just an observation...
Aquas tend to be long winded, I must be the exception!


same here. i dislike overtly chatty people in real life. Typing and writing i can tell too, like krysenee is overtly windy even though we don't know how she talks. But she can plug out an entire ESSAY of 15 pages of relationship guidance.
.


Backbiting, are you? lol. Well, that's because you're plain dumb! lol. Intelligent people like Krys are long winded because it takes a lot longer to articulate their thoughts as there's so much to say.
I mean don't get me wrong, dumb people like yourself are long winded too, but it ain't a pretty sight. It's really dreadful. lol. If you ever went on a rant, God help us all because it would be a rant filled with pure irrelevant shit containing celeb or your one and only friend's (hubby) comparisons. I'm scared just thinking about that. Anyway, thank you for not being long winded.

i wonder why you're so quick to defend her? i don't like chatty ass people in real life, i don't give a fuck. Maybe cause you're a chatty ass yourself and i doubt anyone would marry you, because lo and behold, bitch...you're still single even after a year here bitching and moaning with your chatty ass self. i don't like your energy and you don't like me. So..here's a clue. Fuck you bitch.
click to expand




Temper temper! lol.
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londonlibralady
@londonlibralady
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 39 · Topics: 5
Posted by aquasnoz
My advice would be to let him make the move, let him own up to what he's doing and say and act no further on this whole situation. This definitely isn't an isolated incident, in fact, it all played out identically to what my step brother went through (He also had air moon/merc strung along with that pisces venus).

I have nice things to say about pisces venus, also terrible things, myself included. But fundamentally I really view it as a manipulative placement, master of it. Coupled with the other placements I'm inclining towards what he told you are all true. He wanted to be selfish without hurting the lot of you but backfired.

My take is simple, don't let that "Air" thing happen and keeping people as friends. If you do, set the boundary and definitely remember the fact the whole basis of your meeting is "attraction". You might view it as friendship but I'll tell you now an Aqua with that placement will never let you know his true intention.



i think this is the advice i was looking for. you're right. the basis of our meeting was attraction, even though i've since lost that attraction, and my intention is now friendship, his intentions are still the same as in the beginnning and keeping him around wouldn't be wise, because he is selfish, and potentially manipulative.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by aquarius09
Posted by lisabethur8
man if we were face to face in real life....god damnn.....we'd go to blows!!!! fist fight and punches



Yeah, because you're mentally unstable and you proved my point with your rant. lol.
click to expand




it doesn't prove anything but the fact that you like to engage with me because you got offended about the mercury in aquarius and dominant air /fire bitches like you. I never got along with air bitches in real life, and this proves my fucking point.

what you seem to enjoy which you know pisses me off is you talk shit about my husband as well. Your jealousy is showing. what say in a year from now you're still here single?? No, make that 2 more years from now...and still here ranting and raving about guys who you chase off.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by aquarius09
Posted by lisabethur8
you don't believe i'd punch the fuck out of you?? i don't care. I've fought with girls before in real life. and i don't like you.



I had a feeling you were a trashy ghetto chick. lol. Thanks for confirming it.
click to expand




that's right, cunt face. Pussy ass dog woman.

i'm as trashy as all hell so why the fuck are you engaging with me?? You love trashy women don't you?

keep it up.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by lisabethur8
you don't believe i'd punch the fuck out of you?? i don't care. I've fought with girls before in real life. and i don't like you.



I had a feeling you were a trashy ghetto chick. lol. Thanks for confirming it.
click to expand




i would have left you alone but you talk shit about MY HUSBAND. and what the FUCK FOR?? you can talk shit about me all you want...

but you talk shit about my husband and a friend you don't even fucking know??
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by lisabethur8
you don't believe i'd punch the fuck out of you?? i don't care. I've fought with girls before in real life. and i don't like you.



I had a feeling you were a trashy ghetto chick. lol. Thanks for confirming it.



that's right, cunt face. Pussy ass dog woman.

i'm as trashy as all hell so why the fuck are you engaging with me?? You love trashy women don't you?

keep it up.
click to expand




Go take your meds and stop derailing the poor girl's thread. That's really shameful.
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