krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts
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Deep Questions for the typical Aqua
I'll start off...
My answer to QUESTION #1 is: I believe most people have higher standards when they're just dating someone. We all tell that person what we won't tolerate, what we don't like & what we can't handle if it were to happen & truly have no shame in pointing out those standards to our date. BUT yet, once the relationship and/or emotions are established, it seems like most of us end up with partners who end up doing exactly what we told them we couldn't handle (from cheating to being controlling) & yet we still find excuses to stay or prolong the relationship, even though we supposedly made it clear in the beginning that we were too strong for the nonsense & for unhappiness.
It seems that when people get their emotions & feelings involved into someone, that's when all of their standards go out of the window & usually they do out of fear of losing that person. And what happens is, once our partners can sense that we weren't as strict about our expectations & standards like we claimed we were, they see all of our "standards "talks as utter bull & it's no wonder people continually step over eachother in today's society. When this happens, people always try to get their standards & self-esteem back when it's too late (usually when the other person already made the decision to not believe that you were really as strong as you said you were).
WE, ourselves can be our own worst enemy & it seems like the minute we put our emotions into someone else, we almost immediately get very flexible & lienant in making sure those standards are met. It's almost like a trick. We come off as very strong just to get the person to admire this about us & commit to us, not realizing that they won't see us as so strong the minute they fail our standards but yet we still keep them close in our hearts. That's the problem with so many relationships. Standards are not kept throughout the relationship. It seems like they are only there (if they're even there) in the beginning & half of the time, people just PRETEND to have those standards just to impress the other person
My answer to QUESTION #1 is: I believe most people have higher standards when they're just dating someone. We all tell that person what we won't tolerate, what we don't like & what we can't handle if it were to happen & truly have no shame in pointing out those standards to our date. BUT yet, once the relationship and/or emotions are established, it seems like most of us end up with partners who end up doing exactly what we told them we couldn't handle (from cheating to being controlling) & yet we still find excuses to stay or prolong the relationship, even though we supposedly made it clear in the beginning that we were too strong for the nonsense & for unhappiness.
It seems that when people get their emotions & feelings involved into someone, that's when all of their standards go out of the window & usually they do out of fear of losing that person. And what happens is, once our partners can sense that we weren't as strict about our expectations & standards like we claimed we were, they see all of our "standards "talks as utter bull & it's no wonder people continually step over eachother in today's society. When this happens, people always try to get their standards & self-esteem back when it's too late (usually when the other person already made the decision to not believe that you were really as strong as you said you were).
WE, ourselves can be our own worst enemy & it seems like the minute we put our emotions into someone else, we almost immediately get very flexible & lienant in making sure those standards are met. It's almost like a trick. We come off as very strong just to get the person to admire this about us & commit to us, not realizing that they won't see us as so strong the minute they fail our standards but yet we still keep them close in our hearts. That's the problem with so many relationships. Standards are not kept throughout the relationship. It seems like they are only there (if they're even there) in the beginning & half of the time, people just PRETEND to have those standards just to impress the other person
My answer to QUESTION #2 is:
I don't believe it's possible to even establish love w/o honesty & trust. And what bothers me is that when someone hurts me, betrays me (especially with intention), how they can still call it love afterwards. Standing in the garage doesn't make you a car. The only thing that makes a car a car is the CAR ITSELF. So I think it's impossible to say "love isn't love w/o trust or honesty" yet be in a relationship where those 2 things don't exist & still call it love.
If we can't have trust and/or honesty in the beginning, then it's not worth establishing anything deeper than friendship, or in some cases, nothing at all. And if I have enough self love to say NO to establishing love w/o those 2 things, then why would I pretend to forget that the same rules apply even in the middle of the relationship? The rules of what it takes to have love don't just apply in the beginning before feelings are involved. If anything, the rules should even FURTHER apply once feelings are established.
I don't believe it's possible to even establish love w/o honesty & trust. And what bothers me is that when someone hurts me, betrays me (especially with intention), how they can still call it love afterwards. Standing in the garage doesn't make you a car. The only thing that makes a car a car is the CAR ITSELF. So I think it's impossible to say "love isn't love w/o trust or honesty" yet be in a relationship where those 2 things don't exist & still call it love.
If we can't have trust and/or honesty in the beginning, then it's not worth establishing anything deeper than friendship, or in some cases, nothing at all. And if I have enough self love to say NO to establishing love w/o those 2 things, then why would I pretend to forget that the same rules apply even in the middle of the relationship? The rules of what it takes to have love don't just apply in the beginning before feelings are involved. If anything, the rules should even FURTHER apply once feelings are established.
My answer to QUESTION #3 is:
I think alot of people would rather have control over or seek changing someone else out of fear of looking in their own mirrors. It's alot easier to pretend like you have your "ish" together so that you can forever make others feel that they have to have it together to be good enough for you. Alot of people would rather be content in why they are so jealous or controlling, versus looking in the mirror & finding out why they are that way (and at least knowing is a GREAT thing).
But what happens is, the minute someone is close to looking in their own mirror, there's always someone there to come along & take you as you are (flaws N all), giving others a further excuse & reason not to turn back around & evaluate themselves. Some people hate that they are jealous & don't even know why they are the controlling, possessive or jealous type. And b/c there are so many people willing to be submissive and/or adapt to these kinds of people, the original people never feel bad enough to look in their own mirrors b/c they convince themselves that as long as people keep wanting them, they have no reason to believe that someone could be wrong with them. But what these kinds of people don't realize is that alot of us hide (sub-consciously) these flaws very well in the beginning, so it's no wonder our partners don't come off putting us down for it; you can't put down what you don't know. And you can't be turned off by something that you can't see.
I think alot of people would rather have control over or seek changing someone else out of fear of looking in their own mirrors. It's alot easier to pretend like you have your "ish" together so that you can forever make others feel that they have to have it together to be good enough for you. Alot of people would rather be content in why they are so jealous or controlling, versus looking in the mirror & finding out why they are that way (and at least knowing is a GREAT thing).
But what happens is, the minute someone is close to looking in their own mirror, there's always someone there to come along & take you as you are (flaws N all), giving others a further excuse & reason not to turn back around & evaluate themselves. Some people hate that they are jealous & don't even know why they are the controlling, possessive or jealous type. And b/c there are so many people willing to be submissive and/or adapt to these kinds of people, the original people never feel bad enough to look in their own mirrors b/c they convince themselves that as long as people keep wanting them, they have no reason to believe that someone could be wrong with them. But what these kinds of people don't realize is that alot of us hide (sub-consciously) these flaws very well in the beginning, so it's no wonder our partners don't come off putting us down for it; you can't put down what you don't know. And you can't be turned off by something that you can't see.
My answer to QUESTION #4 is:
I believe that the whole purpose in dating is to weed out those who can handle us from those who can't or refuse to. If you're really jealous, needy, controlling, or negative, why not share that with the other person up front? It's not like they're not going to eventually see this side of you anyways. Bad times in relationships are inevitable, therefore so are your true colors eventually showing. Obviously, it's not wise to just blurt out these flaws in you; how you deliver is the most important over what you deliver.
If you tell people up front who you are, why you are the way you are & let them know that "what you see is what you get" it's the right thing to do b/c it gives them the choice to make the decision of whether or not they will not only 1. respect you for your honesty or 2. decide if they want to continue while things are still early (versus finding out later when things are too complicated). After all, we expect to see other's true colors in the beginning, & usually if we can't see them yet or if things seem "too good to be true" it's only a matter of time before we go looking for those "true colors" anyways. Why not save all the heartache & eliminate that whole process by just being honest in the beginning. After all, are you sure he's still a "good man/woman" or atleast the one you want close by you if he can't even handle you? You won't be gaining anything by concealing your true colors in the beginning, b/c the only way for true & sincere love to be established is to have that honesty & self-love FIRST established with self, let alone the other person.
If you find yourself losing more by being honest with others then that's not as bad of a thing b/c eventually you would've ended up losing them anyways. Think about it, if you've already made up your mind that you don't want someone who is controlling or jealous, then I'm sure you'll still NOT want someone like that even in the long run or once the relationship is established.
I believe that the whole purpose in dating is to weed out those who can handle us from those who can't or refuse to. If you're really jealous, needy, controlling, or negative, why not share that with the other person up front? It's not like they're not going to eventually see this side of you anyways. Bad times in relationships are inevitable, therefore so are your true colors eventually showing. Obviously, it's not wise to just blurt out these flaws in you; how you deliver is the most important over what you deliver.
If you tell people up front who you are, why you are the way you are & let them know that "what you see is what you get" it's the right thing to do b/c it gives them the choice to make the decision of whether or not they will not only 1. respect you for your honesty or 2. decide if they want to continue while things are still early (versus finding out later when things are too complicated). After all, we expect to see other's true colors in the beginning, & usually if we can't see them yet or if things seem "too good to be true" it's only a matter of time before we go looking for those "true colors" anyways. Why not save all the heartache & eliminate that whole process by just being honest in the beginning. After all, are you sure he's still a "good man/woman" or atleast the one you want close by you if he can't even handle you? You won't be gaining anything by concealing your true colors in the beginning, b/c the only way for true & sincere love to be established is to have that honesty & self-love FIRST established with self, let alone the other person.
If you find yourself losing more by being honest with others then that's not as bad of a thing b/c eventually you would've ended up losing them anyways. Think about it, if you've already made up your mind that you don't want someone who is controlling or jealous, then I'm sure you'll still NOT want someone like that even in the long run or once the relationship is established.
Continued...
If anything, I'd rather have someone leave & be honest enough to tell me that they don't think they can handle someone like me (before OR after feelings come into play) rather than trick myself by hiding my true colors just to be abandoned or left behind in the long run.
I'd rather be left or know what my partner is willing to handle BEFORE I even put my emotions into it, rather than finding out that hiding my true colors caused me more loss in the long run.
So many people hide their true colors b/c they are 1. not brave enough to understand why they are this way & 2. are not yet content with the fact that they are this way (and usually b/c they don't put the time into finding out WHY they are this way). And too many people would rather have temporary company/gain & long term loss, than temporary/short term loss & long term gain. I thought the whole point of this "love" thing was to have LONG TERM gain.
If anything, I'd rather have someone leave & be honest enough to tell me that they don't think they can handle someone like me (before OR after feelings come into play) rather than trick myself by hiding my true colors just to be abandoned or left behind in the long run.
I'd rather be left or know what my partner is willing to handle BEFORE I even put my emotions into it, rather than finding out that hiding my true colors caused me more loss in the long run.
So many people hide their true colors b/c they are 1. not brave enough to understand why they are this way & 2. are not yet content with the fact that they are this way (and usually b/c they don't put the time into finding out WHY they are this way). And too many people would rather have temporary company/gain & long term loss, than temporary/short term loss & long term gain. I thought the whole point of this "love" thing was to have LONG TERM gain.
My answer to QUESTION #5 is:
Most children haven't seen their parent's marriage liscense. What they DO see is how they're parents communicate & treat one another & they base this on how they perceive relationships & most of the time how they'll handle, enter or exit their own relationships in the future.
Alot of people stay in bad relationships or marriages for the children b/c they want their children to physically be able to say that they had a "father" or "mother" around. But what good is that when both parents don't love or respect eachother. Trust me, kids pick up on this & aren't as stupid as we think.
I think there is more gain for the children if they have 2 parents who love eachother & have respect for eachother (and you don't have to be married to do this or have this with someone) b/c how their parents love one another sets a better example & half of the time, children wouldn't even know that their parents weren't married, b/c all they need to know & understand is how to love & they first learn this by watching their parents
Don't get me wrong, I think it's twice as great for 2 parents to be love & respect one another & be married, but in today's society, that's not the case alot of times. And I think it's better for children to see 2 parents loving & respecting eachother, even if they aren't married, than it is for children to have 2 parents that are technically by law "married" but yet don't act like they have one ounce of love for one another
Most children haven't seen their parent's marriage liscense. What they DO see is how they're parents communicate & treat one another & they base this on how they perceive relationships & most of the time how they'll handle, enter or exit their own relationships in the future.
Alot of people stay in bad relationships or marriages for the children b/c they want their children to physically be able to say that they had a "father" or "mother" around. But what good is that when both parents don't love or respect eachother. Trust me, kids pick up on this & aren't as stupid as we think.
I think there is more gain for the children if they have 2 parents who love eachother & have respect for eachother (and you don't have to be married to do this or have this with someone) b/c how their parents love one another sets a better example & half of the time, children wouldn't even know that their parents weren't married, b/c all they need to know & understand is how to love & they first learn this by watching their parents
Don't get me wrong, I think it's twice as great for 2 parents to be love & respect one another & be married, but in today's society, that's not the case alot of times. And I think it's better for children to see 2 parents loving & respecting eachother, even if they aren't married, than it is for children to have 2 parents that are technically by law "married" but yet don't act like they have one ounce of love for one another
1. Do you believe that most people have higher standards & esteem in the beginning stages of dating (before they get their feelings involved) OR in the middle of the relationship (once it's been established & once feelings are involved)?
It can go either way for a variety of people. Personally, I expect more out of a relationship in the middle stages of a relationship. The beginning stage tests common interests, tolerance, and chemistry. If two people can get past the beginning stage without a problem then middle stage tests long-term ability. I'd never expect someone to change their life style if they were unwilling to in order to progress a relationship. Yet, if I am in the middle stage and I'm trying to gaze into the future I'd hope that my partner were doing the same. If not.. we'd be on two completely different pages and the likelihood of the relationship lasting would be pretty low. Then it is a matter of determining if a casual relationship fulfilling enough or if I desire something more concrete to make me happy.
2. Do you believe that it's possible to establish love without honesty or trust? If no, do you believe it's possible to hurt someone, cheat on them, lie to them or betray them in some form or fashion & still love them? If yes, then how is it possible to strip a relationship of those 2 things (trust & honesty & still call it love (Remember, you needed it to be considered love in the first place, then what does it become once the love is established & then suddenly stripped of those two things? Is it still love?)
I don't believe it is easy to "establish" love with a person who is dishonest or someone you can't trust. Starting a relationship requires at least some degree of honesty and trust in order to form stability. If the feelings were already established and my partner were to hurt, cheat, lie, or betray me I'd factor in whether or not that was consistent/normal behavior. It is in a persons nature to lie and make mistakes at certain points in their life. We learn and grow from our mistakes. If the relationship were to take a turn towards consistent negative behavior then my feelings for that person would slip away day-by-day. If they were to only make a mistake that affected me in a bad way that was nonconsistent I wouldn't hold it against them and would learn to look past it.
3. Do you believe most people would rather have control over someone else as an excuse to not have control over self?
I believe a person seeks contr
It can go either way for a variety of people. Personally, I expect more out of a relationship in the middle stages of a relationship. The beginning stage tests common interests, tolerance, and chemistry. If two people can get past the beginning stage without a problem then middle stage tests long-term ability. I'd never expect someone to change their life style if they were unwilling to in order to progress a relationship. Yet, if I am in the middle stage and I'm trying to gaze into the future I'd hope that my partner were doing the same. If not.. we'd be on two completely different pages and the likelihood of the relationship lasting would be pretty low. Then it is a matter of determining if a casual relationship fulfilling enough or if I desire something more concrete to make me happy.
2. Do you believe that it's possible to establish love without honesty or trust? If no, do you believe it's possible to hurt someone, cheat on them, lie to them or betray them in some form or fashion & still love them? If yes, then how is it possible to strip a relationship of those 2 things (trust & honesty & still call it love (Remember, you needed it to be considered love in the first place, then what does it become once the love is established & then suddenly stripped of those two things? Is it still love?)
I don't believe it is easy to "establish" love with a person who is dishonest or someone you can't trust. Starting a relationship requires at least some degree of honesty and trust in order to form stability. If the feelings were already established and my partner were to hurt, cheat, lie, or betray me I'd factor in whether or not that was consistent/normal behavior. It is in a persons nature to lie and make mistakes at certain points in their life. We learn and grow from our mistakes. If the relationship were to take a turn towards consistent negative behavior then my feelings for that person would slip away day-by-day. If they were to only make a mistake that affected me in a bad way that was nonconsistent I wouldn't hold it against them and would learn to look past it.
3. Do you believe most people would rather have control over someone else as an excuse to not have control over self?
I believe a person seeks contr
3. Do you believe most people would rather have control over someone else as an excuse to not have control over self?
I believe a person seeks control over someone else in order to maintain control of themself. Having control over a situation makes a person feel more stable, because they know which direction they are leading things. It prevents less chance for surprises to surface and eliminates the fear of the unknown. When a person doesn't have some form of control it leads to insecurity and unstability. It makes it hard to grow, make proper decisions, and maintain a healthy life style . When people see control and relationship in the same topic they view it as a bad thing. Controlling another person's life and trying to shape them into what you want them to be... is very unhealthy. I believe each partner should have some form of control over different aspects of the "relationship" in order to steer it in the same direction, but no one should have control over another person.
4. Do you honestly believe that being up front with your standards & being honest about your personality flaws (jealousy, possessiveness, controlling) in the beginning (dating stages) is a better strategy to get the men/women that can handle you, stay or do you believe that being this upfront is not worth it b/c of how many good men/women would leave? Are their more disadvantages or advantages to being brutally upfront in the beginning? (Remember, even if you aren't upfront, those true colors will come out eventually anyways)
Personally, I wouldn't discuss personality flaws on the first couple of dates unless I felt strangly comfortable with that person. I'd give time to progress a friendship with that person. If it were to start moving towards a more serious note I'd talk about my flaws/weaknesses. I find no point in discussing jeliousy, possessiveness, or controlling issues with someone who is considered casual or a new friend. Yes, true colors come out eventually but finding the right match takes time and patience.
I believe a person seeks control over someone else in order to maintain control of themself. Having control over a situation makes a person feel more stable, because they know which direction they are leading things. It prevents less chance for surprises to surface and eliminates the fear of the unknown. When a person doesn't have some form of control it leads to insecurity and unstability. It makes it hard to grow, make proper decisions, and maintain a healthy life style . When people see control and relationship in the same topic they view it as a bad thing. Controlling another person's life and trying to shape them into what you want them to be... is very unhealthy. I believe each partner should have some form of control over different aspects of the "relationship" in order to steer it in the same direction, but no one should have control over another person.
4. Do you honestly believe that being up front with your standards & being honest about your personality flaws (jealousy, possessiveness, controlling) in the beginning (dating stages) is a better strategy to get the men/women that can handle you, stay or do you believe that being this upfront is not worth it b/c of how many good men/women would leave? Are their more disadvantages or advantages to being brutally upfront in the beginning? (Remember, even if you aren't upfront, those true colors will come out eventually anyways)
Personally, I wouldn't discuss personality flaws on the first couple of dates unless I felt strangly comfortable with that person. I'd give time to progress a friendship with that person. If it were to start moving towards a more serious note I'd talk about my flaws/weaknesses. I find no point in discussing jeliousy, possessiveness, or controlling issues with someone who is considered casual or a new friend. Yes, true colors come out eventually but finding the right match takes time and patience.
5. Do you believe that the action of "marriage" (broken or good for now) is really what keeps families close together OR do you believe that if kids had a choice, they'd rather pick & gain more with 2 single parents who aren't married, but actually love & respect eachother?
A broken marriage or a marriage with a lot of fighting in front of children is likely to hurt the child more than two single parents. BUT what are the chances of two people like that separating and actually loving and respecting another? Granted.. the child would probably see less fighting but would be swinging back and forth between two different households, different rules, different holidays with a variety of different family members (i.e. parents new significant others). I'd think that would be hard for a young child to learn/grow properly. It's no wonder we see so many children with so many emotional issues, because they are getting tossed every which way. There is really no simple answer to the situations we place ourselves in.. other than people need to slow down and take marriage and children more seriously.
A broken marriage or a marriage with a lot of fighting in front of children is likely to hurt the child more than two single parents. BUT what are the chances of two people like that separating and actually loving and respecting another? Granted.. the child would probably see less fighting but would be swinging back and forth between two different households, different rules, different holidays with a variety of different family members (i.e. parents new significant others). I'd think that would be hard for a young child to learn/grow properly. It's no wonder we see so many children with so many emotional issues, because they are getting tossed every which way. There is really no simple answer to the situations we place ourselves in.. other than people need to slow down and take marriage and children more seriously.
Aww you have been looking for me? Yeah, I kind of disappeared off the face of the earth for a couple of months. Between school and work I was averaging a 60 hour work/school week. I finally managed to graduate though! Yay me! How have you been?
Hello Krys,
Wishing your life pretty pink there. Thanks for the raw piece of advices last March. Appreciated that. To be frank, you hit most of the points. =)
1. Do you believe that most people have higher standards & esteem in the beginning stages of dating (before they get their feelings involved) OR in the middle of the relationship (once it's been established & once feelings are involved)?
Yes. I do believe that. I expect more when it comes to filter the right one at the beginning stage. I can generally categories people around me in few groups.Some are 'HI and BYE' friends, no deep connection. Some of them I knew they will be my friends forever since the first day and there won't be any potential between us no matter how hard they try. Because the outcome remains the same. I already made up my mind after 1 or 2 meet up sessions, observations are all done.
And for the best friends/potential group, is the one I can have deep communication with, sharing the common topics, have deep insights, wide-minded, intellectual knowledge is an add-on credit, We must have similar things that can click on, and never ever running out of chat topics. Frankly, It's hard for me to fall for someone and it's even harder to start a relation with someone who I do not know him at all / no friendship base.
2. Do you believe that it's possible to establish love without honesty or trust? If no, do you believe it's possible to hurt someone, cheat on them, lie to them or betray them in some form or fashion & still love them? If yes, then how is it possible to strip a relationship of those 2 things (trust & honesty & still call it love (Remember, you needed it to be considered love in the first place, then what does it become once the love is established & then suddenly stripped of those two things? Is it still love?)
For me, without honesty and trust, its nothing left. Because I hate people to treat me like a fool and still comes back as nothing happened. I take quite sometimes to build up the trust on someone who I really care. If you blew it, it's pretty much the end of the story. I am not a mean person but when hurt is done, the scar remains forever. If he loves you enough, he won't hurt you.My Philosophy. If he hurts you and yet still telling you he loves you. This isn't love. His love is selfish and he loves himself more than anyone.
3. Do you believe most people would rather have control over someone else as an excuse to not have control over self/
Ye
Wishing your life pretty pink there. Thanks for the raw piece of advices last March. Appreciated that. To be frank, you hit most of the points. =)
1. Do you believe that most people have higher standards & esteem in the beginning stages of dating (before they get their feelings involved) OR in the middle of the relationship (once it's been established & once feelings are involved)?
Yes. I do believe that. I expect more when it comes to filter the right one at the beginning stage. I can generally categories people around me in few groups.Some are 'HI and BYE' friends, no deep connection. Some of them I knew they will be my friends forever since the first day and there won't be any potential between us no matter how hard they try. Because the outcome remains the same. I already made up my mind after 1 or 2 meet up sessions, observations are all done.
And for the best friends/potential group, is the one I can have deep communication with, sharing the common topics, have deep insights, wide-minded, intellectual knowledge is an add-on credit, We must have similar things that can click on, and never ever running out of chat topics. Frankly, It's hard for me to fall for someone and it's even harder to start a relation with someone who I do not know him at all / no friendship base.
2. Do you believe that it's possible to establish love without honesty or trust? If no, do you believe it's possible to hurt someone, cheat on them, lie to them or betray them in some form or fashion & still love them? If yes, then how is it possible to strip a relationship of those 2 things (trust & honesty & still call it love (Remember, you needed it to be considered love in the first place, then what does it become once the love is established & then suddenly stripped of those two things? Is it still love?)
For me, without honesty and trust, its nothing left. Because I hate people to treat me like a fool and still comes back as nothing happened. I take quite sometimes to build up the trust on someone who I really care. If you blew it, it's pretty much the end of the story. I am not a mean person but when hurt is done, the scar remains forever. If he loves you enough, he won't hurt you.My Philosophy. If he hurts you and yet still telling you he loves you. This isn't love. His love is selfish and he loves himself more than anyone.
3. Do you believe most people would rather have control over someone else as an excuse to not have control over self/
Ye
3. Do you believe most people would rather have control over someone else as an excuse to not have control over self/
Yes. Mostly.But compromising is the KEY.
4.Do you honestly believe that being up front with your standards & being honest about your personality flaws (jealousy, possessiveness, controlling) in the beginning (dating stages) is a better strategy to get the men/women that can handle you, stay or do you believe that being this upfront is not worth it b/c of how many good men/women would leave? Are their more disadvantages or advantages to being brutally upfront in the beginning? (Remember, even if you aren't upfront, those true colors will come out eventually anyways)
I am pretty upfront and candid if I treat you as my best friends. I mentioned best friends because the potential one always coming from that group. I'll let him see my flaws intentionally or unintentionally. All depends. If he can handle it, then Good. Else, how do you expect him to handle you in you future....
5. Do you believe that the action of "marriage" (broken or good for now) is really what keeps families close together OR do you believe that if kids had a choice, they'd rather pick & gain more with 2 single parents who aren't married, but actually love & respect eachother?
It all depends on individual to define marriage. Some people married because of the pressure from families; some because of kid; some dun want to stay alone for the rest of their life ...etc
Yes. Mostly.But compromising is the KEY.
4.Do you honestly believe that being up front with your standards & being honest about your personality flaws (jealousy, possessiveness, controlling) in the beginning (dating stages) is a better strategy to get the men/women that can handle you, stay or do you believe that being this upfront is not worth it b/c of how many good men/women would leave? Are their more disadvantages or advantages to being brutally upfront in the beginning? (Remember, even if you aren't upfront, those true colors will come out eventually anyways)
I am pretty upfront and candid if I treat you as my best friends. I mentioned best friends because the potential one always coming from that group. I'll let him see my flaws intentionally or unintentionally. All depends. If he can handle it, then Good. Else, how do you expect him to handle you in you future....
5. Do you believe that the action of "marriage" (broken or good for now) is really what keeps families close together OR do you believe that if kids had a choice, they'd rather pick & gain more with 2 single parents who aren't married, but actually love & respect eachother?
It all depends on individual to define marriage. Some people married because of the pressure from families; some because of kid; some dun want to stay alone for the rest of their life ...etc
Great topic Krys...u did it again!
Thanks! Like I said, I was just curious to see how different signs would respond to these questions. And like I originally thought, alot of Aquas think in some of the same ways
Posted by theskysPosted by lammal23
Aww you have been looking for me? Yeah, I kind of disappeared off the face of the earth for a couple of months. Between school and work I was averaging a 60 hour work/school week. I finally managed to graduate though! Yay me! How have you been?
Things have been great. I hadn't seen you around for a while and wanted to just 'ping' you...lolclick to expand
*pings back* hehe. Thank you theskys!
Posted by krysrenee7
Thanks! Like I said, I was just curious to see how different signs would respond to these questions. And like I originally thought, alot of Aquas think in some of the same ways
You should ask on other boards and see how the other signs respond. If you haven't already. :-)
1.Depends on the person. I have my own standards, irrespective of whether they're relatively high or low w.r.t norm.
2. Not possible to establish love without honesty or trust. Period. No ifs and buts.
3. yes, it happens all the time.
4. Yes, there are advantages to being brutally honest in the beginning, only if the conversation strays that way. Even otherwise, a discussion for me is quite an eye-opener.
5. marriage is on paper, a legal bond. It helps cement a bond in this dimension in conjunction with your supra-conscious bond.
Thanks for listening/reading.
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1. Do you believe that most people have higher standards & esteem in the beginning stages of dating (before they get their feelings involved) OR in the middle of the relationship (once it's been established & once feelings are involved)?
2. Do you believe that it's possible to establish love without honesty or trust? If no, do you believe it's possible to hurt someone, cheat on them, lie to them or betray them in some form or fashion & still love them? If yes, then how is it possible to strip a relationship of those 2 things (trust & honesty & still call it love (Remember, you needed it to be considered love in the first place, then what does it become once the love is established & then suddenly stripped of those two things? Is it still love?)
3. Do you believe most people would rather have control over someone else as an excuse to not have control over self/
4. Do you honestly believe that being up front with your standards & being honest about your personality flaws (jealousy, possessiveness, controlling) in the beginning (dating stages) is a better strategy to get the men/women that can handle you, stay or do you believe that being this upfront is not worth it b/c of how many good men/women would leave? Are their more disadvantages or advantages to being brutally upfront in the beginning? (Remember, even if you aren't upfront, those true colors will come out eventually anyways)
5. Do you believe that the action of "marriage" (broken or good for now) is really what keeps families close together OR do you believe that if kids had a choice, they'd rather pick & gain more with 2 single parents who aren't married, but actually love & respect eachother?