done for good?

is it true that if an aquarius man is done with you, he won't keep in contact or come around anymore?

what's the secret contract?

LOL....The Aqua that said we needed to cease contact has stayed in contact with me!

Secret contracts, my pale white butt! They love messing with you. If you let them come around, then they will - it's like an invitation to mess with your head.

i don't think they purposely mess with your head (although i don't know your aqua so i can't speak for him). i think they are too confused themselves most of the time, that it confuses you also. they don't know what they want.

Amen! Of course, don't tell them that...then they pout...I made that mistake.

I wonder what he's so curious about regardig me—

He keeps going back and forth...

houston...he could be curious about a lot of things...he was just getting to know you.

nah, moonchild....the history of us is strange.

he was the Lord of Mixed Signals and I called him on it. He didn't like so told me that we needed to cease contact all together, but called me 20 minutes after he sent that email. I then told him a few days later that I can't deal with the wishy washey stuff and he got upset...then he called me on July 4th and acted like nothing happened. Then the next night he said he said we needed to cease contact again...but in that same conversation he changed his mind...I hung up on him after I told him to let me know when he decides what he wants...

he's confused...that's what i told you

so next time he calls, don't answer and don't call back if you don't want to deal with it... although i think you are interested or else you still wouldn't be talking about it.

Never said I wasn't still interested 😛

He has called back, but I haven't called him back. I've been making myself rather busy after work.

prime... curious about something, or still has feelings and wonders if he made the wrong decision...that kind of curiousity?

curious = still cares

I say both.

houston...from what you have posted i think that you are just as at fault as he is, only in a different way. you say that he is hot and cold, wishy washy...but i think that you wanted too much from him too fast. it's like you want to know everything about the guy, but you have only hung out with him for a month.

there was chemistry there, I will not deny that. I pushed him away a few times because he "wanted to be friends first", so yes, we're both at fault...but I didn't want too much from him too fast...i didn't initiate the "moves" 😢

you say both. meaning what...both curious and still caring?

has feelings and wonders if he made the wrong decision

that is how aquas are though. they want to be friends first...and i think that it is a great idea to be friends first. my aqua and i jumped right into our relationship b/c the physical chemistry between us is uncontrollable and i think we couldn't resist each other, but i wish more than anything that we had become friends first. it is a much healthier way of getting into a relationship. you shouldn't take that for granted!

oh i know...

the last conversation we had, after he said we needed to cease contact and then he changed his mind, he said "I'm sorry for what I said. I want us to be friends. Can we be friends?"

I seriously don't know what the dude is thinking.

if you still want to keep in contact with him, you should agree to start out as friends and then see where it goes from there. that is my suggestion, b/c i missed out on that opportunity with my aqua and i would do anything to build a friendship with him... just a thought!

they place very high value on friendship and if you can base a relationship with him by starting as friends, you will be better off b/c he will always value the friendship you two have.

prime...yes, but how long have you two been broken up?

you don't just become curious for the sake of being curious after only a little while apart...

absolutely

houston...

are you still in contact with aqua? what's the scoop as of late?

moonchild8: why don't you go and mingle amoung other guys. It doesn't matter what sign they are. Just sample some other guys as you are really sounding like you're putting this aqua guy on a pedestal that isn't is and I don't even think he probably feel comfortable on it either.

"Rejection is the greatest aphrodisiac"

mellowdee...what are you referring to— i was asking about houstonpeach's guy...

ok let's correct all those typos shall we

*is=his
*joly=jolt

i am not the type of person to get over someone by dating someone else. i would rather focus on MY life and do my own thing right now actually. i have been going out and meeting guys, but i am just not ready to date yet and i don't feel like i should force myself to do something i am not ready for...you know?

moonchild8: I'm assuming that the point of your post is that you're still hankering after this aqua guy. I've read some of your previous posts about breaking up with this guy. I guess it would be more sensible to put my post there but anyway that's what that post means!

"i don't feel like i should force myself to do something i am not ready for...you know?"
absolutely I agree with this.I should do this more myself most of the times instead of diving into other relationships or distractions when I'm feeling vulnerable. But again your question asking is it likely that aqua men come back after they've moved on sounds like you're still wanting him.

well he broke up with me, and yes i am still not over him and i refuse to force myself to get over him...i would rather let it happen naturally. but, i believe he still has feelings for me as well, it's just that he is trying to fight them.

"i believe he still has feelings for me as well, it's just that he is trying to fight them."

But how can a man who sounds this selfishly confused be that great a guy? Anyway that's all I was really saying.

"But again your question asking is it likely that aqua men come back after they've moved on sounds like you're still wanting him."

-i am asking that question b/c he has in a way come back to me, and i am just wondering if it is genuine or not... it is apparent that his feelings are still there for me.

i am just saying that if i broke up with someone and was done for good, i would not keep in contact i.e. answer and return phone calls, text messages...and i certainly would not go out of my way to see that person after 2 months...

Well this is a total guess based on my own impressions of aqua guys but....if he tends to drift back into your life it's probably cos he feels the emotionally charged pressure has worn off and he feels more comfortable about approaching you again. I don't have that high an opinion of aquarian men probably but I reckon you could analyse them forever and not reach any definitive conclusions from their behavior except that they don't like to feel tied down and so will tend to stray if they feel they are being pressurized to express their feelings or commit.

md...why do you have such a low opinion of aqua men...from experience? they are tough cookies, but i think they are worth it. i have never had such a stimulating relationship as i have had with him, even though it has been hard. i honestly don't know if i will ever be satisfied in any other relationship after this one.

AquaLog: No contact made with AquaMan since several days ago. He is online at the moment, but I have desire to initiate contact. If he wants to talk to me, his fingers can do the walking...

Moonchild8,

here is my advice to you: you know that my guy "aqua" guy had broken up with me two or three weeks ago...well, guess what: he came back to me. I really didn't expect it. I thought it was really over. and I guess because of that I retreated into myself to analyze what I did (and what he did too, thus taking him off the pedestal I had put him on for once!) to get us where we were. I also never contacted him. Somehow it was doable. But it starts in the mind with me. I guess ignoring him while being friendly when I met him (like bumping into him) made him realize that I could be just as happy with or without him. So he started calling me and such. But I didn't make it easy for him to come back (as in hanging out with nothing resolved; I had done that before) until he made it clear that he was willing to speak seriously about us. That happened last tuesday. So we are back together (I don't know if it is too early to tell...I'll know how serious he is about us based on his future actions) but I insisted on us being serious while agreeing to giving him his "space" to chase me: he thought I was too pushy in pursuing him and often not standing up for myself when he was in the wrong. And you know what: I was indeed too pushy. I also told him about all the things that I didn't like about him, or how he treated me, or the most important being that he was bsing me about not wanting a serious relationship. Now suddenly, he brought up the subject of being serious.
Well, so my advice is: it's fine that you don't want to date other guys (I wasn't planning on seeing anyone either for a while) but take a piece of paper and write out all the things you like and dislike about your guy, all the things that you would like in a mate. I remember that you wrote that it wasn't the first time that this guy broke up with you: so then it seems like a pattern that you allow to continue. Why is it continuing? why are you allowing it to continue? is it that whenever he came back, you never truly discussed the issues that caused the break up in the first place? that you are so grateful that he came back that you forgot about your needs? I think if you ask yourself these questions, and really don't make it easy for this guy to come back he will respect you more and start feeling like the grateful one. and start thinking about him like a man; not an aqua. That's what I learned from my break up. also, You need more than love to build a relationship as I am learning.

maia...thank you! the best case scenario right now, i think, would be for us to build a friendship first and see where that takes us. we never had become friends before we dated, we just jumped into the relationship. when he came to visit me unexpectedly last week for the first time in 2 months, we had discussed how we both wished we had been friends first. i think it means a lot to both of us to have that kind of relationship as friends to build other things on.

yes, this is the second time he broke up with me. this last time it was over the phone and there really wasn't any closure, and here we are now talking again...so, i have to wonder if there are still feelings there on his end. for some reason, he is keeping me around. also, he has been seeing another girl for the last couple of months (at least) and i have discussed it with him a couple of times now...so he knows that i know about it. he has text messaged me a couple of times this week, but i have not spoken to him in 3 days now. i am not going to call. i think he has a lot to think about right now, so i am going to give him his space to think. i am just continuing on with my life and have been reflecting a lot on what i could have done differently in the relationship...and also what i value in him and what i do not. i have definitely done my share of thinking about this one...like you had suggested.
how long were you and your aqua together? hope all works out for you two...it gives me hope that he may return to me one day!

I jumped into this thread so late; there's been so much good advice already, moonchild8. All I can offer now is **hugs** I hope that you and he can work it out. Sometimes I don't understand my own kind because I'm more emotional than most Aquas...but a lot of it is that we live in fear and denial of our emotions because they are so powerful...

melody...he definitely lives in fear and denial of his emotions. he is doing that right now in fact...denying his feelings for me, fighting them as hard as he can. i think that is why he left me for another girl...to try and move on in a sense. but now his feelings are coming back and he is tring so hard to not show them, but it is apparent that they are there. i wish he would just let it all out, b/c he would feel so much better about everything.

I can't think of anything more ideal than to find I have feelings for a guy who has feelings for me. I wouldn't want to run away.

That's what I really really want - to meet someone who feels a mutual attraction for me physically and mentally. To share things with and actually I can feel free in this kind of relationship because I wouldn't feel restricted or that I needed to hide my true self from him.

Well said MellowDee..that's what im after! The thing is..where do we find them?!

houstonpeach is peeerdy.That's how ya'll say 'pretty' in Houston,right?

awww geee shucks, stinky...thank ya kindly.

Sola:

"Well said MellowDee..that's what im after! The thing is..where do we find them?!"

I dunno. It's like we have to solve some kind of riddle...these lovely men are all around us, closer than we think and yet we don't seem to meet them much, if ever...

hey let me know if you solve this riddle and I will too!