RaeofSun
@RaeofSun
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 311 · Topics: 29
Emotional Ru-Tard?
maybe you're directing your sadness. you cry at sudden impulses, maybe it is guilt that you never went. Maybe you have a "hidden" fear of old folks homes and hospitals, you have a fear of growing old, to seeing how weak and near death your grandmother went. All those things are related to an intense fear.
in any case, sorry to hear about the passing of your grandmother. It is sad to lose someone you were very close to.
in any case, sorry to hear about the passing of your grandmother. It is sad to lose someone you were very close to.
and fear is also an emotion.
good luck im sure you will do a fine job
Posted by geminicandIe
Lol@ crying at drop of a hat for being single and 35. That's sad😢
Haha! I know, but I do that in the privacy of my own car or room :-). I'll get over it, it's just been a tough year for me. It's not so much the guy part I worry about, but more or less my biological clock, since I'm dying to have kids, and well... the older you get, the harder it is :-) Whatever is meant to be will be... I just keep telling myself that!
Thank you all for your responses and support as always. Happy Manic Monday!!!
I shall have a glass of wine (or 2) this evening after football and begin the writing of her eulogy. I'm thinking looking at old pictures will help stir up some emotion.
So sorry for your loss RaeofSun my own Grandmother passed away at the end of July and I was very much the same initially.
As for not feeling any emotion it is still early doors however I would not worry about how you look to the outside world. There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief it's a very personal thing and people react and deal very differently.
As for not feeling any emotion it is still early doors however I would not worry about how you look to the outside world. There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief it's a very personal thing and people react and deal very differently.
Oh hush
Stop beating up on yourself
The fact that you're sad is what counts moreso than you crying b/c you're sad, if that makes sense. I'd be more worried about the person who isn't bothered/sad at all by a death vs. the person who is sad but won't cry.
Sometimes grieving by suppressing those tears is still considered grieving! It's possible for a person to cry on the inside, but not literally.
If you weren't sad at all though, that would make you a sociopath, my dear lol But clearly you do have the ability to process emotions like sadness; it's just that your grieving process may be delayed. Blame it on the zodiac lol
Sometimes a situation won't hit you until much later. The same thing happened when my grandma died. I didn't cry at the funeral or even 2 years later. But 1 day, I heard a song that reminded me of her & cried like a baby! I have no idea why it took me so long or why that song was such a trigger but it was
Grief counselors will tell you that there are a million ways of grieving other than crying. Some people grieve by disconnecting from themselves & other loved ones; that IS their way of "crying." Others grieve by getting on drugs/alcohol to cope with the pain; that IS their way of "crying."
Tears are just 1 way of grieving & just b/c your mind doesn't psychologically need to cry in order to feel pain doesn't mean that you are emotionally-disabled lol
Only be worried if something tragic happens & yet you can't feel any emotions on the inside at all lol That's when you might have issues
Stop beating up on yourself
The fact that you're sad is what counts moreso than you crying b/c you're sad, if that makes sense. I'd be more worried about the person who isn't bothered/sad at all by a death vs. the person who is sad but won't cry.
Sometimes grieving by suppressing those tears is still considered grieving! It's possible for a person to cry on the inside, but not literally.
If you weren't sad at all though, that would make you a sociopath, my dear lol But clearly you do have the ability to process emotions like sadness; it's just that your grieving process may be delayed. Blame it on the zodiac lol
Sometimes a situation won't hit you until much later. The same thing happened when my grandma died. I didn't cry at the funeral or even 2 years later. But 1 day, I heard a song that reminded me of her & cried like a baby! I have no idea why it took me so long or why that song was such a trigger but it was
Grief counselors will tell you that there are a million ways of grieving other than crying. Some people grieve by disconnecting from themselves & other loved ones; that IS their way of "crying." Others grieve by getting on drugs/alcohol to cope with the pain; that IS their way of "crying."
Tears are just 1 way of grieving & just b/c your mind doesn't psychologically need to cry in order to feel pain doesn't mean that you are emotionally-disabled lol
Only be worried if something tragic happens & yet you can't feel any emotions on the inside at all lol That's when you might have issues
Posted by RaeofSun
Hey peeps! I hope you all had an awesome blossom weekend! So, my grandmother passed away not this past Saturday, but the one prior. My dad asked that I say her eulogy, which I am totally fine doing, but here is the thing. I loved my grandmother, we were so very close, then she went into a home a few years ago, and I rarely saw her, because I don't do well in places like that and seeing her just lying in bed, with emptiness behind her eyes.
Anywho, I am having trouble feeling any sort of emotion over her passing. I don't feel sad, I don't feel... anything. I start crying at the drop of a hat when I think about my being 35 and single, with no hopes in site of being in a relationship, but I can't manage to shed a tear for her. I feel cold, insensitive and kind of embarrassed. I feel as though my family is looking at me like I'm a cold stone. I'm so afraid I'm going to go up to say her eulogy and it's going to sound like a motivational speech that one would give before the Super Bowl... and that everyone there would think the same thing.
Condolences darling.
First of all, you've been asked to do the eulogy, ergo, therefore they probably already feel you will do a good job, secondly, they feel you are the most Appropriate for the job.
If your family knows you the way a family should, they may actually be expecting a "Super Bowl" type speech and that may be exactly what they want!
Also, this isn't just about the eulogy for everybody else, this is an opportunity to stand up and represent the relationship YOU had with your beloved gran and therefore however you express it will be perfectly valid considering...
And don't force your emotion, it may not feel right time wise or in depth of sincerity just yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if the eulogy evinces the so-called appropriate level of emotional response you are seeking, at the time =)
Posted by geminicandIePosted by RaeofSunPosted by geminicandIe
Sorry, I did not really laugh at that sentence, but then again I did because I have those same issues. It sucks to be 35 and childless, some days it's okay though🙂
I hope you do fine, Rae. Let us know how it went.click to expand
No need to apologize! I didn't take offense to it :-)
I'll keep you all posted on how it went... :-)
go to a sperm bank
Hi everyone!! Here's an update: So... the viewing and funeral were tough, and I ended up not writing my eulogy until the morning of the funeral. I suppose I'm not as much of an emotional ru-tard as I thought. I just had to be hands on with what had happened, have it be right in my face. The eulogy was emotionally tough to write, but in regards to the content and emotion that went in it, it was easy. I was able to deliver it, and my family was moved. Thank you all for your support!!!! As always!!!!
Posted by RaeofSun
Hi everyone!! Here's an update: So... the viewing and funeral were tough, and I ended up not writing my eulogy until the morning of the funeral. I suppose I'm not as much of an emotional ru-tard as I thought. I just had to be hands on with what had happened, have it be right in my face. The eulogy was emotionally tough to write, but in regards to the content and emotion that went in it, it was easy. I was able to deliver it, and my family was moved. Thank you all for your support!!!! As always!!!!
Glad you made it through.
You're welcome and take care of yourself.
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Anywho, I am having trouble feeling any sort of emotion over her passing. I don't feel sad, I don't feel... anything. I start crying at the drop of a hat when I think about my being 35 and single, with no hopes in site of being in a relationship, but I can't manage to shed a tear for her. I feel cold, insensitive and kind of embarrassed. I feel as though my family is looking at me like I'm a cold stone. I'm so afraid I'm going to go up to say her eulogy and it's going to sound like a motivational speech that one would give before the Super Bowl... and that everyone there would think the same thing.