Fellow aquas, need your powerful minds to help me.

breakthrough old ideas and embark new ones. enlighten me!

me:
sun: aqua
moon: Taurus
rising: scorpio

bf:
sun: gemini
moon: capricorn
rising: pisces

I'm feeling really emotionally closed off from my relationship. My relationship with him is best described as a oxymoron. We're both hot and cold, sweet and sour, stable and unstable, love and hatred. We are all of those things simultaneously.
We've been going through a rough patch due to some misunderstandings and obstacles.

a) extra baggage in his life (ex gf issues) that has caused me from September 2010 to now..to be very cautious and analytical of his every thought, words, actions, and emotions. It has also evoked fear in my fragile heart. I have been very patient and trying to sympathize but now im just hurt.

b) Due to projecting our outside conflicts onto each other...we have arguments just for the sake of taking it out on someone. More on his part.

c) I am falling in love but i find myself being bored...our conversations are not connected...we seem to lost our flow. That when we do talk on the phone, i feel i wanna hang up or just keep it brief due to the awkwardness.

d) He is discouraged at my lack of trust with him.

Then its like being stuck in the twilight zone. and it repeats. i trust him but whether or not he is trustworthy is two separate things to me.

we also share so much similarities

same fears, worries, anxieties, and issues.

and we REACT and RESOLVE these things in also a similar fashion.

despite all of the negatives...

We are so in tune with each other and somehow psychically as well. like magnets (too many examples to write down to explain why ha)

I guess through all this mumbo jumbo..i guess what i'm really trying to ask is

"am i losing interest?"
"why am i distant? are any of you guys this way? that after a certain amount of time with a friendship or lover...we drift?"
"how does one being overcome conflicting aspects of themselves and external aspects to find truth? to alleviate pain and elevate peace of mind?"

im just stuck.

my heart loves him but my mind just wants out.

Candi your relationship sounds eerily like my last, except I'm Aqua and she's Gemini.

If either Aqua or Gemini is no longer mentally stimulated in the relationship, things aren't likely to work out, whether the heart appears to be in love or not. With Aqua especially, the mind fuels the heart. And you want your love to grow, not to become stagnant. Based on what you've described, you are losing interest Aquarius. You're looking for a certain spark, a certain level of adventure outside of yourselves, and it's not present in the relationship. You probably wish your Gemini laughed a little more (at least at your jokes). That the focus wasn't so much on how you two felt about each other right now, even though you want commitment. You just want to explore the outside world together. Your Gemini is probably too self-analyzing even for your tastes, requiring constant validation of self-worth from you. You can't really be yourself. Dullness ensues.

On the flip side, you may be lacking a bit of courage. You're possibly afraid that if you let Gemini go, you may not find someone else who connects with you in the same way. So you're not being as forthcoming as you typically are Aquarius, for whatever reason. Your Gemini prob senses this, and thus nags that you're not being open. Which just ticks an Aqua off even further. And this cycle creates the awkwardness, the disrupted flow, you described.

Follow your instincts. They're speaking loud and clear. Don't leave Gemini in limbo, or you'll regret not having closure on your terms. Chalk it up as an adventure, and a life lesson learned.

I'm confused as to how your love could be gaining momentum for him when yet you admitted that the communication, trust & overall satisfaction is decreasing & losing momentum? That kind of seems contradictory to me.

Seems like you're both just staying just to be staying. You guys are probably hanging on to what USED TO BE (honey moon stages) but now that you're in the reality of where things are now, things aren't so great.

Seems like neither of you were ready for a relationship. And yeah yeah I know you can't help who you love, but then again you can if it means cleaning up access baggage before entering into a commitment so the person you love won't ever have to suffer b/c of your past. Seems like you guys have acknowledged the problems but yet aren't making any strides to engage in any solutions. You're simply just "being."

If he's still having issues with his ex, perhaps he needs to separate himself from you until those issues are resolved. Or else, he's going to keep making you suffer for something you cannot control and/or a potentially good relationship could go sour & end too quickly & unnecessarily.

Sounds like you're insecure as well, but that you blaim your insecurities on him, accusing him of provoking certain insecurities. Sounds like you're both insecure & that you're looking for reasons to consider 1 another punching bags (not in the literal sense) but then again once all the punching has ceased, you guys are trying to convince yourselves of why you should still stay.

I think you guys need a break. I'm not saying fly the coop & give up on this guy. But honey, in order for a relationship to function & last long term, communication is a MUST. And your relationship is not the exception. Don't just sit & allow your relationship to waste away. Do something. You already know what the problems are & hey that's a good thing that you've acknowledged such. Now instead of harping on the issues, invoke some of that energy into finding/engaging in solutions. BOTH of you should be doing this if you want to save the relationship

I agree with Jathx.

You're relationship is functioning off of "wishful thinking" instead of what it really is. That UMPH! is missing! That spark is missing! 1 minute he's all you need/want & the next, it's like you were better off single or alone. And it's probably the same for him vice versa.

Whatever you do, something's gotta give & change. Now that you've acknowledged where things are going wrong, it's time to get into "solution" mode. Think of what YOU can do differently & what new things YOU can bring to the table. It may not change him or his actions, BUT atleast you'll be able to say/know that you did your part. If not, you'll eventually start to resent yourself, him & the relationship. And eventually, even what's kept you around all this time will eventually fade away too---feeling alone in a relationship defeats the purpose of being in a relationship to begin with.

Every relationship will hit a stagnant eventually, BUT the difference b/w relationships that make it from those that don't are in each couple's ability to allow their love for eachother & dedication to changing things OVER RIDE their insecuries, anxieties & fears.

Talk to him about this. Have a serious sit down with him. But 1st, sort out your feelings & try to figure out ways/strategies that you can make things better. Too often we're quick to blaim or point fingers at the other person, but rarely do we take a look at ourselves & where we're going wrong and/or what we could be doing differently.