Hook up buddies, Libra with Aqua

Does anyone know how Aquarian men feel about hooking up? I have been talking to this guy for a few months, and he is an Aqua who asked me out on a few dates, and then stopped calling! He didn't call me for almost two weeks, and then ran into me at work and asked me to hang out. We finally had a talk about everything, (the fact that we hooked up a few times, and he never called)...I was very open when talkign to him, and knew from all that I had read not to make him feel pressured into anything...we basically decided to just take things easy and make things light...(hooking up!). He obviously feels very uncomfortable with the thought of jumping into any sort of relationship...Which is fine by me, because I know he needs to take his time with relationships, as he is an aquarian! This guy is soooooo good in bed, and so sensual, I am a libra and also have a very big appetite for s....x. I've read that Aquas. like love notes and kinky stuff, and I definitely feel that this boy is into having fun, also I am a few years older than him, and I think he likes that I'm into having fun. I was thinking of sending him sexy lingerie and a note to his house, but wondered if I should wait until he calls. After our last conversation, he apologized for not calling after the last date, and said he would definitely call me this week....Should I hold off on sending this kinky stuff over to him, or will it just make him more excited to see me?

don't wait. aqua likes it when the other take control. go ahead dear.

I agree with queasy go for it but keep it light and playful. And yes Aquarians can do casual sex thing. It has been my experience that it is the other sign that usually get weird/confused as to what is happening.

You shouldn't worry about propriety when you've got a hook-up deal. That was thrown out the window once you decided to 'keep things light'.

Yes, I probably will be expecting some committment in a few months! It's impossible not want more I realized, especially being that I am a Libra...we love to be involved in relationships...so this Aqua guy who I really like, and we have been hooking up...well, not since I sent him the kinky stuff..which he absolutely loved by the way! But had some women issues for the last couple of weeks, so we never got around to having fun! BUt, my question is, he has been calling more, and asking to hang out...just as friends I think. He finally treated me to dinner, and drinks...and two days later (which was completely out of the blue) asked me to watch a hockey game with him and his friends..I thought we were clear on just the hooking up part, but now he's got me wondering...does he like me, and genuinely enjoy my company? I don't want to over analyze it, but I wonder if this guy really wants a friendship before a relationship, and mabye just the hooking up part is freaking him out a little. But, when I expressed that I liked him and found him interesting to talk to, he told me he felt the same way but that he was bad in relationships and didn't want any pressure, I guess...So does he like me seeing that he's calling me to hang out more, Non Sex related..or once we pull out the bag of toys will it be back to just that...hooking up?

AS great as this guy is in bed, I almost regret suggesting the hooking up buddy idea...because truly, I love hanging out wit him, and just talking for hours...I think a friendship with this aquarian could be a great thing...i noticed when it comes to the intimacy, once we're actually in the act, it's great, but before that or any other time we hang out, he is extremely shy...he doesn't hold my hand, he's afraid to make the first move, he's just awkward! I don't mind that, but sometimes it would be nice for him to just open up and not be scared of his feelings! I am very sure that he woudl want to grab me and touch my hand when we're out, or even when we're hanging out at his house, just watching a movie, it's like, I feel like I constantly have to make the first move with him. If I really like this guy, which I really really do, does anyone have any suggestions here....as to how to develop a potential relationship? Should I just tell him how I feel and end the whole hooking up thing? I like him....I don't want a major committment, just a chance for something to happen down the road. I like getting to know him...

I don't mean to dwell, but I am sure that he likes me as well...We are absolutely into eachother, we love to talk and we both get nervous around each other...how do you gently get an aquarian to NOT get scared and freaked about a relationship, or even getting closer to one...it seems liek they are scared of these intimate connections with people...he's not right now, but I can tell he will be. I have completely let him do his thing and never gotten in the way of his freedom...I almost don't want to bore him with another talk...I want to just hang wit him and get to know him, and hope that he doesn't get scared I guess

I hate when ppl fuck up the fuck buddy role.

Well, now your over thinking everything. I suggest you continue to see this man and build the friendship first. Try to get him comfortable around you WITHOUT your clothes off.

I?m in the same situation right now..i didnt call him for a week and vice-versa and then i had to contact him to say that i couldnt make it to meet him. He was pissed that i didnt call him for 7 days..even though we are equals and he could have just as easily initiated contact if it was important. I told him he?d be waiting forever..he didnt like that!!!

Anyway, things are good..but i have to be careful before the whole love thang starts again..especially when im still in love with a scorp..damn!!!

Sakesumo - how old is your aqua guy? I noticed that especially in their 20's they don't know what they want and they're conflicted with what to prioritize in their lives.
And if he had recent female "issues" that could be why he's hesitant as well, my aqua didn't date anyone for at least 2 years after he got out of a serious relationship - he was scared out of his mind.

The fact that you told him how you felt already is a big deal and he reciprocated those words....Just give him time to figure it out in that logical brain of his.
TIME and Friendship building - you already know the attraction is there. He needs to trust.

"I hate when ppl fuck up the fuck buddy role."

Yes, exactly. Looks like you need to re-negotiate. Tell the truth. Otherwise, you will only fool yourself.

I agree with unusualcancer....just play it out, don't define it, and always have your own life, your own friends, even other "possibles"....you're a Libra, very charming and cute, I'm sure, keep your options open just for the fun of it. That way, your Aqua can't get the upper hand. It sounds like there is definitely a potential for a real relationship no matter how it started....

My Aqua loves to say things like "I no love you" (he's foreign) just in jest, and I usually laugh, but you know how we Scorps get about being teased, so one time I said "Well, then I'll get another boyfriend" and he jumped back as if he were stung! Just remember there's always more fish in the sea....

Piscesdork...it is interesting that you mentioned the conflict of aquas in their 20s and prioritizing...my aqua is actually 4 years younger than me!!! I am 29 and he is 24, a very mature 24 year old, his last "relationship" was with another woman who was about 4-5 years older than him as well...anyways, yes, he does seem exactly that...conflicted with his priorities...when we had our talk, he actually said that was his problem...that he was trying to figure out how to manage everything...he works 4 days a week at his father's restaurant (where I met him), he is in law school full time, and he has season tickets to every football game and hockey game! So, he has about 1 night a week when he is free...i am also a busy girl, in school, have a 9-5 job, and put my friends at a top priority as well...but he did express confusion about how to manage his life right now, and that was why he didn't want to get involved in a serious relationship I guess...he was honest, he said he just didn't know how to be in a relationship...his last serious girlfriend was a 5 yr relationship from high shcool into his first year in college, he only had one other girlfriend for a few months, another girl he dated for a few weeks...and that's IT! No other relatioships throughout 4 years in college, or during his first 2 years in law school...I really do feel that giving this time could lead to something...but my conflict is, how the hell do you do that when sex is involved in the picture...should I voice my oppinion and let him know we should take it out of the equation...or should I just go with the flow...the last two times we hung out, he had no expections, and we just hung out which was great...I think we should just continue to hang out and if the night leads to sex, then I'll just go with the flow...but he's a nice guy, definitely not trying to use me for it...

Correction I am 28 years old, he is 24

Well I wouldnt say go cold turkey...you started with sex; so thats absurd 😛
(btw, how did he prioritize that in??)🙂

I think he is giving you an in to make this something more than it already is, so keep that in mind and continue to just hang out with him. Whatever happens, happens. Dont force anything upon him and have very little expectations and you'll be fine.

I understand him when he says he has no idea on how to be in a relationship.

LadyM are you an aquarius also?

Indeed I am.

Sakesumo - I've seen my aqua guy go through a few "phases" of priorities - he's 32 now.
He was working full time, doing his Masters, and running another small business on the side - because of all that he broke up with his long time girlfriend because he couldn't give her his all anymore - and when Aqua's decide to be in a relationship - they will give you their all. So when their lives are so full of different activities its hard for them to sacrifice that (and you don't want to ask them to) for a relationship.
As for your situation - i think he likes you - aside from the sex...but he's unsure about how to fit you into his life. Go with the flow - just don't always be too accomodating and let him know he should do the things he wants - and you guys can find time to spend together as well. They're achievers - if you try and take them away from that - you'll be stuck in the sex routine - because you'll still be satisfying one of his "wants".

2 months with these guys is like 2 days with any other guy.
I like how you say - if the night leads to sex then you'll go with the flow....Exactly - thats cool. But maybe try to pull away from the just sex "dates".

I agree PD, the last couple of dates have not involved hooking up at all, and I felt like we were really connecting. It's funny that you mentioned your bf has his own business, in addition to everything my aqua does, between work and school- he also has his own side business! During the summer months, he is especially busy with that too! So, my question to you piscesdork, is when you said not to be too accomadating, but also let him know he should still do the things he wants to do...does that mean I should tell him how I feel? I am so confused...how do I balance this? I like hanging with him, and I don't mind taking our time getting to know eachother...and I don't even mind cutting down some of the s...x, but should I be having a conversation about this with him? Or just plan our dates around things that don't always involved s..x? I'm just nervous and don't want to scare him off by having serious conversations...or do they need to be steered in the right direction?

I am pretty sure he likes me, but I'm starting to wonder if there is anything I can do here...will he ever want to take it to the next step...does it just take time for them to figure out how to prioritize everything in their lives? Once he figures that out...will they come around...Or is it like you said...they only stay in relationships where they feel they can give it their "all"?

Just so you don't think i'm an expert on getting an Aqua to date you - my Aqua guy is just my friend...for 5 years. But have learned a ton about how they work, but still surprised sometimes.
One of my other male Aqua friends told me that he fills his time so he doesn't get lonely. And even when time becomes free again - if there's no love interest - he'll fill it again with something else. So this guy is obviously making time for you in his busy schedule - do like you're doing - other activities to build the relationship instead of "play" time! ha ha. It helps with him connect with you on a mental level - thats the way to his heart. Good conversation about unique things - and take part in activities he's already does - offer him company if he wants it. He likes hockey? Find out some of his other interests - and learn about them....If you can hold a legitmate conversation about something he's interested in....he'll LOVE that.
I remember when i met my aqua guy way back - he was intrigued by my knowledge of car racing! Small things and build up from there - they open up slowly.

You can have serious conversations on your "opinion" (or for us non aquas our "feelings") but sometimes putting it in more general terms makes it easier for them to talk about it.
Like for instance - i had conversation with Aqua man about him getting married - without asking directly if he ever plans to. They like general scenarios.....mine was "if your single that will help you get to where you want faster won't it?" - that spurred a whole run down of his "plan" . HA! 🙂

Aquas remind me of turtles - and thats not an insult....its just cute. 🙂
The plod along at their slow pace.....Hide in their shell working away on their inventions and whatnot, and poke there head out every so often to see whats going on and chat to those passing by.

WTF a TURTLE?!?!? A Friggin' turtle??!?! Better be a Ninja Turtle, they're awesome.

LOL! Thats what I was thinking twin!


btw, we have PLENTY of interests. If you can talk about anything...preferably those of substance. Thats awesome. BUt you'd be surprised how we could talk on and on about the most mundane thing on earth....this usually occurs with libras; bless their hearts.

HA HA! I knew i'd get hell for the turtle thing.
I meant it in the most endearing way 🙂

Yeah, aquas can talk about pretty much anything. Once i had a convo about mine about how it was dark outside all the time (time change) and the world was coming to and end....somehow that opened a can of worms into all sorts of topics!

Regular folk have no idea how interesting something boring is. We could talk about grass while watching paint dry for the next 7 hours and make that interesting.

You should here the conversations I have with my libra friend, people would say WTF??
My leo best friend cant stand speaking to him (the libra). She likes him, but she cant hold a conversation with him, lol. With my leo friend we only talk about politics, the plight of some new oppressed people, etc.

*hear

LOL! Libras sure know how to turn on the wacky button when you talk to them. As for Leos HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Love 'em to death though. You should talk to some Gems. I swear having conversations with other air signs is fuckin' hilarious. Maybe that's why I like this board so much.

I dont know many gems...I know one; she talks ALOT, but Ive never really had a one-on-one convo with her. I love talking to other air signs too I got tons of aqua guy friends..the convos range...it usually ends up with me fussing them out for some reason or another.

Why do you have to do that lol?

B/c they usually have their heads in their asses for some reason or another.
Not to mention when 2 people are too much alike thats what happens, lol 🙂

You should give it a try, it's pretty nice in there with the right lighting. Wouldn't know the feeling though. Maybe you like picking people's brains too much lol.

You sure you dont know the feeling 😛

I do like picking peoples brains. My cancer guy friend does it to me and I dont like it! BUT he's the only one whose ever got the 'real' me I guess out of all my friends, besides my best friend. Bear in mind it's taken him about 4.5 years, lol.

Why thank you JR. Now where have you been? Ive missed ya! 🙂🙂

Maybe I do but am to oblivious to it lol. They do say ignorance is bliss haha.

See, doesn't feel so good to have someone probing your head does it? So this guy knows the "real" you after 4.5 years. So let me guess it took about that long for you to let your guard down a little so he can take a peek lol. I don't blame you though, it's hard opening yourself up to the opposite sex. Well not just the other gender but people in general.

Its not about the opposite sex...its people in general. I have more fun with guys, almost all my friends are guys.

Its not necessarily the 'real' me its just the inner workings of my mind. I show people the real me...Its just I have many sides to 'me'. Kinda like multiple personalities, just not in the DSM/mental hospital way...ya know?

The only reason he's gotten that far is b/c he's persistent and asks too many damn questions, lol.

😢 I hate when that happens JR.
Ive actually had NO TIME this semester. I'm actually procrastinating on my one and only final left for this friday.

Ive been keeping up with the Aries catkiller chick tho🙂

What's the deal with that anyways? Most of the Aqua girls I know usually hang out around guys. I understand the whole "crazy" but not "crazy, crazy" deal. Everyone's got different sides of their personality which others see and some don't. The fact that he's persistent just goes to show that he cares about you, friends are supposed to ask questions. That or he likes you. OOOOOOooooHHHH! Lol I'm kidding.

Hi JR! Sagittarius right?

I think guys are more interesting personally. I'm not the girliest girl in the world (besides my shoe fetish). Guys are less drama prone, even tho they can be just as dramtic, lol.

Girls have this air of sizing you up...and once they figure your not a 'threat' for some reason or another...then they can be your "friend"...building friendships with woman are just difficult for me period.

AND yes I know the cancer cares. AND NO he doesnt like me...well atleast I dont think so. Ive had those issues before tho.

Nighty Nighty Gramps 😛

I'll be in the 'mood' in about an hour or two, three, four....🙂

So girls actually do that stuff to each other? I've always thought that all women get along on some level. That and I have this wicked fantasy that when girls go into the bathroom it's not actually a bathroom but a meadow with a deer drinking from the lake while the birds are singing. Guess I'm delusional but meh.

Awww man, alright JR. Get some power sleep going now big guy. I didn't know about the test though, Wtf lol. Someone should tell me these things.

lmao! Yeah right. The bathroom is where it goes down! Claws come out. j/k...sometimes tho.

It stems from some evolutionary design to attract a mate, etc. Who the hell knows.

Why couldn't we be more like animals. You know like we put out some pheromones here, a couple mating calls there and then a mate suddenly appears. It seems to work for moose.

lol...I dont wanna be a moose.

Its usually guys fighting for the girl in nature...humans are just weird! Girls should take lessons...🙂

I do. All you do is eat kelp, moss and swim in a lake. That and have sex. I find women fascinating. You gals really are a different species.

lol, im not surprised.
I want to be a unicorn...but not like Chaaarliiie

I honestly dont see whats so fascinating...but thanks I guess 🙂

I've seen Charlie before. In fact he was introduced to me way back when on this site lol.

Well girls are charged with emotions, they go out of there way to look suitable for a mate and from what I've learned today they're quite territorial too. I mean you could say the same thing about guys too but we're not really not programmed that way. And yes I've been watching too much Animal Planet lately.

I was programmed wrong😢...but right IMO 🙂

Is meerkat manner on animal planet. I always just stumble upon it on random nights.