snowball543
@snowball543
16 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 67 · Topics: 9
Insecure Aquarius??
Well maybe there is some underlying inner issue he's having (that probably has nothing to do with you) that you 2 may need to discuss. The common misconception is that people "CAUSE" other people to be insecure. You might be right in that he's a little insecure every random blue moon, BUT at the same I'm sure this insecurity started way before you & probably comes b/c of his fear of being hurt in general, vs. him being insecure b/c you actually gave him a reason to be.
Have a talk with him. Share with him your feelings about this the same way you just did with us here on Dxp. Let him know that you often notice that slight change in him on certain occasions. You may not get the answer you were looking for OR perhaps you might not get an answer at all, BUT atleast you bringing up the convo will be the open door to further discussions down the road if need be or persay this starts to become a bigger issue in your relationship.
Ask him if there's something specific that you're doing OR NOT doing that's causing him to be a little detached/insecure every blue moon. By asking him this, you're atleast showing him that 1. You've noticed (sometimes people are just waiting on you to notice) & that 2. You care, thus you'd be willing/down to do whatever it takes to make him feel better.
Whatever you do, don't take this too personal. If you know you are giving/doing your best then keep reminding yourself of that. I highly doubt it's you; I think it's him. It's very common for Aquas (or men in GENERAL) to have spouts of random insecurity. Sometimes those days come b/c of a relationship progressing forward (the better the relationship, the MORE some people fear they have to lose) & sometimes it happens b/c the relationship might hit a dry/boring period. Either way, I think you guys will be fine ;~)
Have a talk with him. Share with him your feelings about this the same way you just did with us here on Dxp. Let him know that you often notice that slight change in him on certain occasions. You may not get the answer you were looking for OR perhaps you might not get an answer at all, BUT atleast you bringing up the convo will be the open door to further discussions down the road if need be or persay this starts to become a bigger issue in your relationship.
Ask him if there's something specific that you're doing OR NOT doing that's causing him to be a little detached/insecure every blue moon. By asking him this, you're atleast showing him that 1. You've noticed (sometimes people are just waiting on you to notice) & that 2. You care, thus you'd be willing/down to do whatever it takes to make him feel better.
Whatever you do, don't take this too personal. If you know you are giving/doing your best then keep reminding yourself of that. I highly doubt it's you; I think it's him. It's very common for Aquas (or men in GENERAL) to have spouts of random insecurity. Sometimes those days come b/c of a relationship progressing forward (the better the relationship, the MORE some people fear they have to lose) & sometimes it happens b/c the relationship might hit a dry/boring period. Either way, I think you guys will be fine ;~)
—How long have you been together? I've recently had the same issue as you, but I resolved it by talking about it.??
We have been together exclusively for about 3 months now. Our communication is pretty good except for those times when he sort of shuts down.
—I know they are moody sometimes.?? Geez, tell me about it : )
—You might be right in that he's a little insecure every random blue moon, BUT at the same I'm sure this insecurity started way before you & probably comes b/c of his fear of being hurt in general.?? I think you are right, most of the time he's so confident and then out of no where he gets all paranoid and seems to think he's not good enough for me. I guess I just want him to feel as secure as I do : )
—Sometimes those days come b/c of a relationship progressing forward (the better the relationship, the MORE some people fear they have to lose).?? We have spoken about his sudden shifts in mood but he seems to be getting worse actually (more frequently) although he does acknowledge his tendency to do this and he says he will/is working on it. His aunt has told me that he has not been in a relationship in over 4 years and his last girlfriend cheated on him. We have an amazing relationship otherwise, but I do hope this will improve over time.
We have been together exclusively for about 3 months now. Our communication is pretty good except for those times when he sort of shuts down.
—I know they are moody sometimes.?? Geez, tell me about it : )
—You might be right in that he's a little insecure every random blue moon, BUT at the same I'm sure this insecurity started way before you & probably comes b/c of his fear of being hurt in general.?? I think you are right, most of the time he's so confident and then out of no where he gets all paranoid and seems to think he's not good enough for me. I guess I just want him to feel as secure as I do : )
—Sometimes those days come b/c of a relationship progressing forward (the better the relationship, the MORE some people fear they have to lose).?? We have spoken about his sudden shifts in mood but he seems to be getting worse actually (more frequently) although he does acknowledge his tendency to do this and he says he will/is working on it. His aunt has told me that he has not been in a relationship in over 4 years and his last girlfriend cheated on him. We have an amazing relationship otherwise, but I do hope this will improve over time.
Well then, I think you know that 99% of his insecurities don't really involve you personally. Sounds like you're just recognizing & finally seeing this thing called "baggage." The closer we get to someone/the more we open up, the more our vulnerabilities come out. Crazy thing is, sometimes Aquas don't even realize that their mood swings are that visible & obvious.
If I were you,d I'd just continue to take things slowly. Don't worry so much. If these insecurities are coming from a place deep down (that started BEFORE you) there's nothing you can really do to ease them. HE will have to step up & do what he's got to do to put those insecurities at rest/ease. And the worst thing you can do is pressure him to do so, especially so early on b/c that will just make him further raise his defenses. Trust me, Aquas don't mind looking for a reason to have a high guard up so keep on reassuring him & PROVING to him by SHOWING Him that you don't have any bad/wrong intentions.
After a while (hopefully) those insecurities will go away. Trust me, he's taking note of all your dedication & kindness so far. That's probably part of the reason you're even noticing these insecurities now; and to an extent that's a good thing. If anything, be worried when an insecure man NEVER shows his insecurities or vulnerable side--b/c if he doesn't, that means he's probably not that into you.
He's insecure b/c this relationship with you feels so good & b/c it feels so good he'll naturally remember the last time he felt this way..and with remember the good times with others, remembering why those good things ended comes with the territory too. Only time will ease his mind. And even if he didn't have past baggage, you'd be crazy to think an Aqua would fully trust you & be comfortable with you in such a short time period anyways. Inwardly, they take things VERY slowly
If I were you,d I'd just continue to take things slowly. Don't worry so much. If these insecurities are coming from a place deep down (that started BEFORE you) there's nothing you can really do to ease them. HE will have to step up & do what he's got to do to put those insecurities at rest/ease. And the worst thing you can do is pressure him to do so, especially so early on b/c that will just make him further raise his defenses. Trust me, Aquas don't mind looking for a reason to have a high guard up so keep on reassuring him & PROVING to him by SHOWING Him that you don't have any bad/wrong intentions.
After a while (hopefully) those insecurities will go away. Trust me, he's taking note of all your dedication & kindness so far. That's probably part of the reason you're even noticing these insecurities now; and to an extent that's a good thing. If anything, be worried when an insecure man NEVER shows his insecurities or vulnerable side--b/c if he doesn't, that means he's probably not that into you.
He's insecure b/c this relationship with you feels so good & b/c it feels so good he'll naturally remember the last time he felt this way..and with remember the good times with others, remembering why those good things ended comes with the territory too. Only time will ease his mind. And even if he didn't have past baggage, you'd be crazy to think an Aqua would fully trust you & be comfortable with you in such a short time period anyways. Inwardly, they take things VERY slowly
Posted by snowball543
What's up with my Aquarius? Most of the time he is funny and wonderful and loving, but every now and then ??_ he gets into these dark states where he becomes really insecure and doubtful about my loyalty. He always gets out of these ruts after a few days and is back to his normal charming self.
What can I do to make my guy feel more secure? I'm a cap and I adore him and show him this whenever I'm around him, but his doubts still creep up now and again.
why you sound like wifey..she a cap too.
my cancer asc. brings out my moody side..
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