My Aquarius, should I trust him?

My Aquarius and I dated for 3 months, when things got too serious he broke things off and we went our seperate ways. After 3 months passed, he contacted me and told me he was more relationship minded now and we have been seeing each other for about a month. When we are together, things are incredible, great chemistry especially on a level of friendship and tons of affection.
Earlier this week I went to close my online dating profile, but found that he was actively still using his. Since then, I have looked at the site a few times, and it appears he is logged in several times a day?
Should I confront him on this? Do Aquarius men always look for something better and should I be alarmed?
Help!!

Hi, he told you he was more relationship minded NOW, I would ask him what that means? Are you two exclusive? See, often times that is the problem, we are afraid to ask what the other expects from us or to even say what we expect. Maybe you should begin with knowing what you really want from him. Then tell him, see where he stands, if it doesn't match with what you want, kindly explain that and remain friends 🙂 Best of luck

I really don't want to seem sneaky with him. I hate the thought of this being on my mind.
I know that aqua's avoid emotional talks, so how can I bypass the whole internet thing and tell him I just want to be with him and I want him to be with me without scaring him away?
We haven't shared much verbal emotion... how should I break the ice?

I'm sure by his response I'll be able to tell if he is still playing the field...

Posted by sunshineandrain
I know that aqua's avoid emotional talks...

Not always true. Like Aquapiscescusp said already he said he's ready and in the mindset for a relationship. Part of that means being emotionally there for you including talking about things. Suffice to say you're afraid of the same thing happening again, it'll only bother you if you let it. It's far better just be honest and talk about things.

Well to look at it from his perspective. He's not doing anything wrong if you didn't lay down specific rules for him to understand.

It's not like you set down some ground rules about online activity. He said he was "relationship minded now" but did he say he was relationship minded about YOU? Did tell you what his intentions were for the both of you? If you allowed him to come back in without actually setting down a relationship standard for him to meet then of course he's not going to cut off all of his options.

Have you both sat down and laid down some ground rules together on what kind of relationship you have with one another? For example you both agree your in a committed monogamous relationship, no online dating, no flirting online, no seeking out women/men online for casual conversation because here's the thing about some men. If you don't actually lay down boundaries with a man then all bets are off, he can do whatever he wants to do because he's not married and there were never any specific obligations, ground rules, expectations set.

Alright

1) He still logs in this is a fact
2)tiki while you do have point your point is based on the assumption that it is okay to be actually be that shallow.
3)I think you should always start a relationship without the fear of losing someone. You should be concerned and take steps to confirm your suspicions...it's not like he's his done anything to earn the kind of trust that would trust him to do something like that benignly.
4)If it were me I'd attempt to make a fake account and contact him just to see how he would respond.

Yeah I guess Im awful but to me if I were you and he were a she I would do this lol.

are you me? Its definitely suspicious and totally, and worse, disrespectful if you have agreed to be an item exclusively. If you haven then dont say anything..yet!

I am with Tiki on this. I am dating an awesome Aqua and at the beginning of our courtship I didn't know that he considered us exclusive. I wasn't dating anyone else but, I had just relocated and started a new job so my focus wasn't on dating per se.
Anyway, after 4 months he sat me down and asked me to be exclusive.

"Just so you know, I have considered us exclusive since the first date, but I thought I should probably run it past you too.
"I was like "Ok." And we have been together almost 7 months.

Have the conversation with him. Don't mention the online profile but, ask him for clarification on the term
"relationship minded". Don't nag, beg, or guilt. Just have a conversation. Value yourself enough to not waste your time with a man whom is not on the same relationship page as you. Also, it will save you from singing the "Aqua Man disappeared and won't respond to me at all DXPNET blues song" which is a standard on this board. Hugs!

🙂

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Alright

1If it were me I'd attempt to make a fake account and contact him just to see how he would respond.

Yeah I guess Im awful but to me if I were you and he were a she I would do this lol.

That sounds like a scorpio trait!!! lol!!!


To OP: When you go searching, beware of what you might find. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss! 😉
(a lesson my scorp venus learned the hard way).

It's really early in the relationship, give him a chance to develop feelings for you.

After about two months of dating, I had told mine that someone had asked me out and I turned them down because I wasn't interested in dating anyone else and thought he'd like to know. He said he turned down an offer too. I said "so we're on the same page" He said "looks like it". That was the way our conversation went. Very laid back, no pressure kind of convo.

Actually I didn't say it was okay to be that shallow, it is what is, some men do these kind of shallow things, one of the biggest relationship breakers in this computer age is occurring from online activity.

If he wasn't one of those shallow kind of men then of course he wouldn't be looking online but clearly he's not ready to be in a real relationship, he's still looking, I'm not saying he's wrong or right, I'm saying if there weren't ground rules established about his virtual behavior then his online activities will continue.

First establish what kind of relationship you have with him. Is it exclusive? Is online dating considered cheating? Figure out what he considers being exclusive is for HIM? He may not see exclusivity as you see it, hell some men don't see cheating as wrong because they are not married, so many men see this whole exclusivity thing different than women, so it's really important to know before jumping all the way in.

Thank you everyone for the replies,
I am going to ask him to be in a monogamous relationship tonight when I see him, I guess that doesn't sound too accussing.

Generally, is there a good way to approach this? Are there any tips I can get so that I don;t sound smothering.. that's the last thing I want to portray.

I want to be in a monogamous relationship with the person I care about. It's important to me. I don't want anything less. If this makes you uncomfortable, let me know. It would mean that we don't want the same things. No bad feelings, no pressure.

Posted by sunshineandrain
Thank you everyone for the replies,
I am going to ask him to be in a monogamous relationship tonight when I see him, I guess that doesn't sound too accussing.

Generally, is there a good way to approach this? Are there any tips I can get so that I don;t sound smothering.. that's the last thing I want to portray.

I told you how I approached it. That worked great for us! The conversation without actually having a serious conversation.