Ready to give up on my aqua

I'm just about ready to throw in the towel. After 4 months I feel like I'm in the same place with this guy and have seen no progress. As a matter of fact I see him less now. When we first started dating we would talk at least every other day-I don't daily and would get together 2-3 times a week. But for the last 3 weeks I've only seen him once a week and hear from him 1 or 2 times a week.

He says he's been working a lot and that would be fine if I at least knew where things stand with us.

Over the last week or two I've met some really great men. All of whom I shot down telling them that I have a boyfriend- but then I realized that I really don't. We've never even had that conversation... So why should I feel obligated to him?

Part of me is starting to feel like I'm just wasting my time with him. I feel like he only "calls for me" on his terms- but always is busy when I want to hang out- which isn't very often so I know it's not bc I'm hounding him. I'm just getting tired of him not making me a priority in his life.

Posted by LolaRed
I'm just about ready to throw in the towel. After 4 months I feel like I'm in the same place with this guy and have seen no progress. As a matter of fact I see him less now. When we first started dating we would talk at least every other day-I don't daily and would get together 2-3 times a week. But for the last 3 weeks I've only seen him once a week and hear from him 1 or 2 times a week.

He says he's been working a lot and that would be fine if I at least knew where things stand with us.

Over the last week or two I've met some really great men. All of whom I shot down telling them that I have a boyfriend- but then I realized that I really don't. We've never even had that conversation... So why should I feel obligated to him?

Part of me is starting to feel like I'm just wasting my time with him. I feel like he only "calls for me" on his terms- but always is busy when I want to hang out- which isn't very often so I know it's not bc I'm hounding him. I'm just getting tired of him not making me a priority in his life.

Have you had this conversation with him? Wondering if you are moving from dating to exclusivity? Also instead of phrasing this as "going somewhere" or that nebulous "progress" be upfront with what you are looking for.

Aqua guy, I know you've been busy, and I applaud your dedication to your job. But it has been leaving me feeling a bit lonely. I love spending time with you, and I would like to see us move into dating exclusively, but that means making each other a priority in each other's lives. What are your thoughts?

Posted by LolaRed
Part of me is starting to feel like I'm just wasting my time with him. I feel like he only "calls for me" on his terms- but always is busy when I want to hang out- which isn't very often so I know it's not bc I'm hounding him. I'm just getting tired of him not making me a priority in his life.

I know that I am not an Aqua but I am a Pisces who seems to attract them in my life. Aquas to me have always been my only constant and no matter how emotional I can be we just seem to click. They have always balanced my emotional crazies with logic.

One thing I have learned is these Aquas are severely misunderstood when it comes to the way they connect with people. Where most of the world sees them as disconnected, grumpy, mean, aloof, bla bla bla bla. My encounters are much much different. They connect, they care, they get attached and they hurt. This is why sometimes you'll notice that they need to take a break and distance themselves from someone who seems to be too close.

If you're expecting a commitment after only 4 months from someone who is deeply afraid of losing themselves and losing track of saving the entire planet from the stupidity of the human race while searching for aliens on another planet...give it up. But please understand that your throwing in the towel may just rip his heart to shreds. Even if you do not see it and he refuses to tell you. I also believe you should talk to him (logically not emotionally) and tell him what you would like from the relationship. Ask him if he feels the same way or if he could feel the same way in time. Don't just walk away.

Posted by Gennie

Posted by LolaRed
I'm just about ready to throw in the towel. After 4 months I feel like I'm in the same place with this guy and have seen no progress. As a matter of fact I see him less now. When we first started dating we would talk at least every other day-I don't daily and would get together 2-3 times a week. But for the last 3 weeks I've only seen him once a week and hear from him 1 or 2 times a week.

He says he's been working a lot and that would be fine if I at least knew where things stand with us.

Over the last week or two I've met some really great men. All of whom I shot down telling them that I have a boyfriend- but then I realized that I really don't. We've never even had that conversation... So why should I feel obligated to him?

Part of me is starting to feel like I'm just wasting my time with him. I feel like he only "calls for me" on his terms- but always is busy when I want to hang out- which isn't very often so I know it's not bc I'm hounding him. I'm just getting tired of him not making me a priority in his life.

Have you had this conversation with him? Wondering if you are moving from dating to exclusivity? Also instead of phrasing this as "going somewhere" or that nebulous "progress" be upfront with what you are looking for.

Aqua guy, I know you've been busy, and I applaud your dedication to your job. But it has been leaving me feeling a bit lonely. I love spending time with you, and I would like to see us move into dating exclusively, but that means making each other a priority in each other's lives. What are your thoughts?

click to expand

Agree. When we were at that stage I just told mine someone had asked me out and I turned them down because I wasn't interested in dating anyone but him. He confirmed we were on the same page.

WOW!



this sounds identical to my guy! he got a new job at the beginning of July. haven't seen him physically since. he'd talk to me everyday but now it dwindles. posted about it on the Scorp board as an update, because at first I was super excited about him. it seemed like it was gonna be great

in my situation, I'm walking. I think he has shown where his priorities lie, and I'm not one of them. I respect that, but I won't be part of it.

I gave up entirely asking him to hang out. I rarely did it, but when I did he'd have some sort of excuse. it was all on his terms, which I didn't really mind. what I DID mind was the lack of engagement. I could even sense the slow fade when we'd text. he seemed distracted or disinterested. Yet he said he wanted to take me out soon then ignored me for over a week, lol.

actions speak louder than words.

I say if you want, follow what the others directed you to. be direct and ask upfront. give him expectations. me and my guy had already stated we wanted to date. then this happened, so I'm not holding my breath. instead I'm moving forward and not looking back. don't be afraid to do the same if you end up needing to. it will be painful, but you will grow. always remember that

One thing I've learned about Aqaurius man is they need friends and space. Take the girlfriend mentality out and replace it with a friend mentality & he'll want to be around more

Update***

Still haven't seen him. In all fairness he tried to get together for lunch on Friday but I had already made plans (with another guy) and figured I'd let him be the one to wait this time. So I told him I was busy.

But nothing since then. He'll call me and check up on me and text, but no plans. It's so upsetting. My good friend is dating someone in his exact profession and they invited me and him to a wine tasting this Thursday. So I text him this morning to see if he wants to go and he tells me "I'll be leaving for the Caribbean Thursday morning". He owns a business down there so he sometimes has to fly down out of the blue. But now I feel like it could possibly be another week before I'd even has the chance to see him.

I was fed up at that point and didn't respond to his text all day. I was ready to end it right then- but my friends said the same as all of you that I should talk with him first. But when will I even get the chance to do that?!? I want to do it in person not over the phone.

He has his kids on wed and leaves Thursday morning so if I get to see him before he leaves it will have to be tomorrow.

I'm tired of waiting so I just sent him a text an hour ago asking will I get to see you before you leave? I can see he got the text but NO RESPONSE. This is so ridiculous

If he is acting that way I would definitely just cut it off. At this point you can scream until you're blue in the face and he'll just continue doing whatever it is he is doing. This does not sound like a healthy relationship to be in regardless of the signs. Now that there is more info on the topic he sounds pretty effin selfish.

Posted by LolaRed
Over the last week or two I've met some really great men. All of whom I shot down telling them that I have a boyfriend- but then I realized that I really don't. We've never even had that conversation... So why should I feel obligated to him?

You shouldn't be obligated to him if there is no contract between you both. Until he decides to lock it down you SHOULD be dating other men. You don't have to jump into bed with them, but you should keep your options open and guard your heart until he is ready to give you his all.