stirring the pot

I have a question:

if you were married to someone for a while, then cheated on him, then have a relationship with the new guy, got divorced, lived with the new guy for another almost a year, were dumped by the new man for another woman - would you run back to your ex husband within 2 months? why?

I was just dumped by a Sag, for his divorced ex wife. wtf?

I'm ok with it.

Just want to know what would make an Aqua flip a switch like this. Is this particular Aqua just not able to be alone? All of a sudden after 2 years she decided that she actualy made a mistake and wants to reconcile to the point that over 3 weeks ago she was already looking for a new engagement ring, dress, wedding rings and the works?

WTH?

Is she just disturbed, and he's nuts, or nuts about her.
Their marriage was for 15 years and was very cold, detached, angry, frustrated and full of complaints on both sides.


What's the insight?

I was married to Aqua myself for 10 years, and we made up, but each time it got worse after 1-2 months, and it progressed finally to total collapse. Even though he's a great guy otherwise, we were so not good for each other. He drove me crazy with the same complaints my Sag had for his ex wife.


blah.


any insight would be greatly appreciated.

I don't mean to be negative - but that is the scenario.

thanks.

Unresolved conflict/feelings with an ex will have you do strange things. One being running back to them even though things didn't work out before.

Maybe the new boyfriend made her realize the old husband wasn't nearly as bad as she thought. "better the devil you know than the devil you don't know. This does happen sometimes at least with me. I have a tendency to think the grass is always greener. It rarely is.

Also there is comfort in the familiar. Especially when you are hurting.

she would not be doing this if her and the new bf were still together. she was playing very much the happily ever after with him until the day he dumped her. it's only been not even 2 months and her running back to her ex husband is really not because she actually now figured out that she loves him. she never wanted to have anything to do with him. she's just using him for emotional drain and runs home after being bullied by big bad wolf. but she will do it again, when she cheated on him, she would bring the new guy home, while the two teenage kids were home, take him to the bedroom, close the door and voila - have a jolly old time. she has no regrets. she never even apologized to the ex husband for anything. ever. just now. within the last 2 weeks.

I think she's just using him in the most horrible way.

but that's not my problem anymore. I wouldn't want him back now anyways after this.

He doesn't even know if she is sincere about it. He does not trust her. He's a Sag/Cap and if he can't trust then there will be nothing but harshness, and supposes himself that she is doing it just out of panic to be left alone and to hook onto him because him is better than nothing, so why even bother if there is not even a foundation for any trust to even begin.
It's all going to blow up in their face withing 4-6 months and they will both hurt.
She hasn't even been alone more than a month to figure out who she is after all this time and the turmoils she went through. I don't understand how people can just flip like that, and I'm a Gem, I can flip myself faster than anything.
There is no reason to this madness. She will hurt him, she will hurt herself even more.
She has so many self esteem issues. She's really has a lot of major issues with herself that she needs therapy for.

I watch this in despair, knowing how much pain there is and how toxic this marriage was and how they are basically staring at the bottom of emotional pit that will just suck them in and they will hurt beyond believe, coming out of it with regrets and slamming the door on that issue.

I wish I could say that it looks like it may work, but I can't. They don't even have a plan on how they will rekindle their relationship, never mind marriage.

People are weird.
Marriages are weird.

she sounds like a nut job. and he is hopeless. sorry, but its true. aquarians can be flaky like this, sad but true. and she sounds like she has issues. the only time we cheat is if things are not going right in the relationship and we are to cowardous to say so and leave before disrespecting our partner.

as for not having a plan to rekindle their relationship, who says its going to be a relationship or marriage? she will probably play around with him until she is over her hurt and move on to the next one.

they may just be talking and going over things to see what went wrong. that still does not mean a relationship will develop. he broke it off with you so he can deal with this without disrespecting you. once the aqua is out the way, you have to decide if you would even want him anymore.

it is weird. she should have thought it through before running off with some stranger.

I know. I was married to Aqua for 10 years. We spoke the other day about this too, and he said himself that she's ust using him.
He has his own issues (the Sag), but in the end, I am better of not to be there. Besides, I never wanted to be the Other woman - we met after they divorced already.
I think that this thing is going to fall apart in less then 6 months.
They have already moved in together - this weekend. She moved from TN to TX to be with him, the kids, cats, dogs and the whole lot.

In the end it's the kids who will hear all the arguing all over again in a matter of 2 months, they will hurt and they will be the most disappointing.
I think these two don't even see how messed up they both are right now.

I hurt for him. I hurt somewhat for her too, but in the end, maybe they are just made for each other - they will drive each other crazy with jealousy, low self esteem, simmering anger, lack of trust, self pity, guilt and all the other fun stuff good relationships are not made of.

Such a waste.
Wish they would go about it in a way that is constructive, where people start dating first, get to know each other, go to counseling for themselves and each other.

Well, I guess it's not my issue anymore, even though I got hurt, but I guess, in the long run, my hurt is nothing comparing to what they will go through.

I have a friend who went back to his ex wife three different times. Didn't work out at all.