CallMeAlienRobotOrWhatever
@CallMeAlienRobotOrWhatever
19 Years
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talking about detachment
what is detachment?(part 1)
-Ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves.
-Holding back from the need to rescue, save
-Ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves.
-Holding back from the need to rescue, save
what is detachment?(part 1)
-Ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves.
-Holding back from the need to rescue, save, or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional, or irrational.
-Giving another person "the space'' to be him or herself.
-Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or dependent relationship with people.
-Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place, or thing.
-Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life.
-Establishing of emotional boundaries between you and those people you have become overly enmeshed or dependent with in order that all of you might be able to develop your own sense of autonomy and independence.
-Ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves.
-Holding back from the need to rescue, save, or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional, or irrational.
-Giving another person "the space'' to be him or herself.
-Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or dependent relationship with people.
-Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place, or thing.
-Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life.
-Establishing of emotional boundaries between you and those people you have become overly enmeshed or dependent with in order that all of you might be able to develop your own sense of autonomy and independence.
what is detachment?(part 2)
-Process by which you are free to feel your own feelings when you see another person falter and fail and not be led by guilt to feel responsible for their failure or faltering.
-Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern, and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing, or controlling.
-Placing of all things in life into a healthy, rational perspective and recognizing that there is a need to back away from the uncontrollable and unchangeable realities of life.
-Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point.
-Ability to let people you love and care for accept personal responsibility for their own actions and to practice tough love and not give in when they come to you to bail them out when their actions lead to failure or trouble for them.
-Process by which you are free to feel your own feelings when you see another person falter and fail and not be led by guilt to feel responsible for their failure or faltering.
-Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern, and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing, or controlling.
-Placing of all things in life into a healthy, rational perspective and recognizing that there is a need to back away from the uncontrollable and unchangeable realities of life.
-Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point.
-Ability to let people you love and care for accept personal responsibility for their own actions and to practice tough love and not give in when they come to you to bail them out when their actions lead to failure or trouble for them.
I agree that detachment is one of our strengths. It keeps us from getting too close until we really feel comfortable with the situation. I'm an Aquarian. I keep myself detached especially with the opposite sex until I get to see what they are about. Once I really like them then I become a little less detached but not fully.
what is detachment?(part 3)
-Ability to allow people to be who they "really are'' rather than who you "want them to be.''
-Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.
-Ability to allow people to be who they "really are'' rather than who you "want them to be.''
-Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.
What are the negative effects not detaching?(part 1)
Will have people, places, or things which become over-dependent on you.
Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places, or with things, which you do not really want to do.
Can become an obsessive ``fix it'' who needs to fix everything you perceive to be imperfect.
Run the risk of performing tasks because of the intimidation you experience from people, places, or things.
Will most probably become powerless in the face of the demands of the people, places, or things whom you have given the power to control you.
Will have people, places, or things which become over-dependent on you.
Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places, or with things, which you do not really want to do.
Can become an obsessive ``fix it'' who needs to fix everything you perceive to be imperfect.
Run the risk of performing tasks because of the intimidation you experience from people, places, or things.
Will most probably become powerless in the face of the demands of the people, places, or things whom you have given the power to control you.
What are the negative effects not detaching?(part 2)
Will be blind to the reality that the people, places, or things which control you are the uncontrollables and unchangeables you need to let go of if you are to become a fully healthy, coping individual.
Will be easily influenced by the perception of helplessness which these people, places, or things project.
Might become caught up with your idealistic need to make everything perfect for people, places, or things important to you even if it means your own life becomes unhealthy.
Run the risk of becoming out of control of yourself and experience greater low self-esteem as a result.
Will most probably put off making a decision and following through on it, if you rationally recognize your relationship with a person, place, or thing is unhealthy and the only recourse left is to get out of the relationship.
Will be blind to the reality that the people, places, or things which control you are the uncontrollables and unchangeables you need to let go of if you are to become a fully healthy, coping individual.
Will be easily influenced by the perception of helplessness which these people, places, or things project.
Might become caught up with your idealistic need to make everything perfect for people, places, or things important to you even if it means your own life becomes unhealthy.
Run the risk of becoming out of control of yourself and experience greater low self-esteem as a result.
Will most probably put off making a decision and following through on it, if you rationally recognize your relationship with a person, place, or thing is unhealthy and the only recourse left is to get out of the relationship.
What are the negative effects not detaching?(part 3)
Will be so driven by guilt and emotional dependence that the sickness in the relationship will worsen.
Run the risk of losing your autonomy and independence and derive your value or worth solely from the unhealthy relationship you continue in with the unhealthy person, place, or thing.
Will be so driven by guilt and emotional dependence that the sickness in the relationship will worsen.
Run the risk of losing your autonomy and independence and derive your value or worth solely from the unhealthy relationship you continue in with the unhealthy person, place, or thing.
I can't stand for someone to be clingy or needy either. I have to have space and I give as much space as the other person needs.
I agree with Branh0913 that there is a flip side to being detached but I'd rather be detached than overly vulnerable and get hurt. Sure in the matters of the heart nothing is going to go smoothly the whole time and people are bound to get hurt but I want to see if the person I'm with is worth the effort. When I see that then some of my detachment becomes less but is never fully gone.
I agree with Branh0913 that there is a flip side to being detached but I'd rather be detached than overly vulnerable and get hurt. Sure in the matters of the heart nothing is going to go smoothly the whole time and people are bound to get hurt but I want to see if the person I'm with is worth the effort. When I see that then some of my detachment becomes less but is never fully gone.
i agree with branh... i think detachment is a front for insecurity in most cases.
detachment doesn't necessarily allow people to be who they "really are". that is up to the individual. it does allow them to have ther own life and strengthen who they are as an individual, but being "oneself" stems from security and love for oneself. i think detachment allows for one to grow as a person and learn who they are, rather then grow as a couple.
i have to agree with Brahn in this case. I know a lot of aquarians, and they pride themselves on being so detached and needing space, but i feel that is a big front to hide their insecurities. I have been involved with a few aquarian males and have ended things with them becuase of their insecurities. I am a libra with an aquarius rising, and i share this trait of being detached as well..i admit that it is becuase every time i get in a relationship i feel really insecure and that is the only weapon that i have to protect myself. I am not insecure when i am not in a relationship..but as soon as i meet a guy, i become a mess inside.
Detachment is Aquarians unsuccessful attempt to preserve the status quo.
The crowd will never trust and follow you, if you will detach yourself from them.
detachment is a control issue (part 1)
It is a way of de-powering the external "locus of control'' issues in your life and a way to strengthen your internal "locus of control.''
If you are not able to detach emotionally or physically from a person, place, or thing, then you are either profoundly under its control or it is under your control.
The ability to "keep distance'' emotionally or physically requires self-control and the inability to do so is a sign that you are "out of control.''
If you are not able to detach from another person, place, or thing, you might be powerless over this behavior which is beyond your personal control.
You might be mesmerized, brainwashed, or psychically in a trance when you are in the presence of someone from whom you cannot detach.
You might feel intimidated or coerced to stay deeply attached with someone for fear of great harm to yourself or that person if you don't remain so deeply involved.
It is a way of de-powering the external "locus of control'' issues in your life and a way to strengthen your internal "locus of control.''
If you are not able to detach emotionally or physically from a person, place, or thing, then you are either profoundly under its control or it is under your control.
The ability to "keep distance'' emotionally or physically requires self-control and the inability to do so is a sign that you are "out of control.''
If you are not able to detach from another person, place, or thing, you might be powerless over this behavior which is beyond your personal control.
You might be mesmerized, brainwashed, or psychically in a trance when you are in the presence of someone from whom you cannot detach.
You might feel intimidated or coerced to stay deeply attached with someone for fear of great harm to yourself or that person if you don't remain so deeply involved.
(part 2)
You might be so manipulated by another's con, "helplessness,'' overdependency, or "hooks'' that you cannot leave them to solve their own problems.
If you do not detach from people, places, or things, you could be so busy trying to "control'' them that you completely divert your attention from yourself and your own needs.
By being "selfless'' and "centered'' on other people, you are really a controller trying to "fix'' them to meet the image of your "ideal'' for them.
Although you will still have feelings for those persons, places, and things from which you have become detached, you will have given them the "freedom'' to become what they will be on their own merit, power, control, and responsibility.
It allows every person, place, or thing with which you become involved to feel the sense of personal responsibility to become a unique, independent, and autonomous being with no fear of retribution or rebuke if they don't please you by what they become.
You might be so manipulated by another's con, "helplessness,'' overdependency, or "hooks'' that you cannot leave them to solve their own problems.
If you do not detach from people, places, or things, you could be so busy trying to "control'' them that you completely divert your attention from yourself and your own needs.
By being "selfless'' and "centered'' on other people, you are really a controller trying to "fix'' them to meet the image of your "ideal'' for them.
Although you will still have feelings for those persons, places, and things from which you have become detached, you will have given them the "freedom'' to become what they will be on their own merit, power, control, and responsibility.
It allows every person, place, or thing with which you become involved to feel the sense of personal responsibility to become a unique, independent, and autonomous being with no fear of retribution or rebuke if they don't please you by what they become.
"The crowd will never trust and follow you, if you will detach yourself from them."
Budha is the one who completely detach himself from anything
Budha is the one who completely detach himself from anything
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Ain't nobody gonna break my bones!
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Aqua = the circus man
who will win? anyway, this is just for fun
I think our "detachment" is one of our strength
first...lets disc