taurus for aquarius - did i sleep w him too soon?

he-aquarius, smart, funny, polite.
me-taurus, smart, sensual, fun.

i like him and just decided to hook up with him after three dates. now my aquarius friend is telling me that this guy might be losing interest. he suggested that i cool off and ask to get to know him better before i sleep with him again. i don't want to play game, but i do want a relationship with him without scaring him away,what to do?

You win the aqua with your mind, not thru sex.


VERY TRUE

aqua is like a brain surgeon he needs to know, feel, see and find out about everything esp with their love ones and they wont let u know it


MMMMHHHHHMMMMM

sex is like desert to them u gotta have a big dinner first so they can respect u.He might back off completely now that he had desert first.

wow, you guys are all thinknig the same things.

the truth is i'm a taurus, sex was great with him. i think he likes it too. cuz he told me he's been so busy working, he hasn't had sex for a while. he lives 5 mins from my job. the night after sex, he asked me to stay. i think he's a little lonely. i didn't stay that night.

then on tuesday, two days ago, i hung out with him and went back to his place. i told him i couldn't have sex cuz it's that special time of the month. he just cuddled with me and i slept over. didn't sleep well but he was very sweet and touchy. in the morning he even left me at his house and went to work.

i get mixed signals from him. one side, he's like ready to have someone in his life sexually and go do fun things with him.

but when i tried to tell him we had sex too early on tuesday, he said it was good to get it out of the way first and he said i was overthinking things and don't complicate things.

i told him i'd do something w him over the weekend if he had time. he hasn't called me yet i know he's stressed at work, which is fun. so it's thursday late afternoon now. i'm thinking i'm gonna just make plans with other people and try to make some short time with him over the weekend and tell him the no sex thing.

on the other hand, i'm like, i could just keeping sleep with him and still be cool and non-invasive.

i wish i knew this message board before, i wouldn't have done some of the things i did. i told him he's too guarded. i'm sure he didn't like that.

''... but i do want a relationship with him without scaring him away,what to do?''

Listen to UC

i don't feel like he's been treating me as a sex object. he's been calling sometimes just to chat. he's helped me with my business stuff. he's paid for the last three times when we were out. i think he does like having sex with me. but it's not like it's the only thing he wants.

but it's been a little strange since we had sex. like he wouldn't calle me the next day, also he does call less. maybe stress at work, maybe cuz i'm less challenging now. i don't know if cutting off sex would completely cool things off. this is not a typical situation. he doesn't seem to be a typical dog.

he's pretty respectful and kind. i don't want him to feel like i'm taking advantage of him and just dragging him out. if he doesn't get sex from me, would he get it from somewhere else? wouldn't i play myself out since i do want to have sex with him? ah, questions, questions...

and if i did cut off the sex, when would let it in again?

alright, girls. against my taurean super duper sex drive instinct, i know they don't connect that way. should i do anything physical with him? stay over at his house? etc?

and how long should i wait?

should i date other guys meanwhile? do u think he's seeing other women?

i wonder if i should say something like, "i do enjoy being intimate with you, but i just need to take things slow and get to know you better, like a friend first, because you've been so great to me and our friendship is important to me. i am attracted you though."

''now my aquarius friend is telling me that this guy might be losing interest. he suggested that i cool off and ask to get to know him better before i sleep with him again.'' your friend not him - did he hint he was bored or wanting a relationship at any point?

''i get mixed signals from him. one side, he's like ready to have someone in his life sexually and go do fun things with him.'' in his life sexually

''i wish i knew this message board before, i wouldn't have done some of the things i did. i told him he's too guarded. i'm sure he didn't like that.'' Aquas know exactly what they are doing and yes guarded is the right word but they don't need to be told that - too personal.

I don't mean to be a downer but it looks like this guy just wants some sexual attention without the extras of wanting to build a relationship; that seems to be what you want. You guys are on different pages.

Aqua is generally respectful and kind that's why people stay fascinated as opposed to signs that give off more aggression and arrogance. They don't change much and he'll latch on to the fact that you're wanting a relationship very quickly - the idea is live your life, give him what he's giving you, no more no less, he'll respect that. He is being a friend (with the helping out with business, etc), don't read much, really this is early days, it will save you a lot of heartache. Check out the other threads on Aqua males.

Sorry to be a downer, but good luck.
ps: i really don't see the sense to cut off the sex completely. Oh and work is higher on their priorities than most.

Aqua guys - any input? :-)))

i guess i'm not sure of his intentions.

his work is definitely #1 and i love that. he did mention something about during our second date, "I just want to be able to say i knew you as a friend one day..." i know friendship is important to the them. but can friendship + sex turn into a relationship later? i guess i don't know how aqua men in their so logical minds, determine what is a relationship and when they fall for someone.

he is generous, fun and he does talk about his friends who get married. he doesn't call me everyday, but he does call to chat and see how i'm doing. he does share about his stress at work, his relationship with his family. he also let me stay at his place without him.

i think that sex does not mean the same for him as it is for me.

so on one hand, he might be seeking a girlfriend, but taking his time, and enjoying the perk of having sex early. on the other hand, he might be losing interest after i gave it up so quickly.

my goal is clear, but i can't share that with him b/c it'll scare him away. cutting off sex is a risk; he might get some elsewhere, he might stick it out with me.

i just wonder if i did continue sleeping with him, if there is a chance that he really does want a girlfriend and develope a relationship or will he just buzz off one day and go out with someone new and more challenging.

aprial...i think you should take your aqua guys advice and just stop over analyzing everything and making it complicated. if you read your posts, that is exactly what you are doing!!!! you are reading WAY too much into all of this. and it is still really early on, so that shouldn't be happening. and if you do want a lasting relationship with an aqua guy, it will never happen if you read into every little thing. trust me... they despise that stuff.

thats why i'm on the message board, so that i'm not doing this with him. i do have the need to analyze everything and need to define things. because if i sleep with him, i want to know that he's not going to sleep with other people or go date other people at the drop of a hat and not let me know. i'm not trying to control what he does but i don't know him that well. when he's doing his aqua aloof thing, i don't know if he's with someone else, his heart is thinking of someone else, or he's just doing his own thing. it's early on, and i can't read him yet. that's why i wanted to talk it out with him. but he can't talk about it either. so i end up here. i'm glad i'm venting here; cuz otherwise, i'd be doing this with him, and it would definitely drive him away.

the problem is, so early on, i have lots of guys after me. but i like him and i slept with him, so i dont really want to go on dates with other guys. but if he disappears for a few days without calling. and we don't have the understanding that hes not seeing anyone else. i would just continue dating then. even if i don't like it, i can't sit around and just hope that he'll call and that he's not seeing someone else.

Aquarius is one sign that will not label you because yo have sex early in the relationship. You need not be afriad about losing an Aquarius because of early sex...especialy because your fixed Taurean energy is going to draw the Aquarius' fixed energy. In fact, you did. The Aquarius did not haphazardly "wander" into having sex with you. He was quite desrious of you and of having a sexual, sexually confident woman in his life. You have strong potential here for a long-lasting relationship

Now you can also let him know who you are intellectually, in addition to the sexual aspect of the relationship. Your relationship, built on its own energies, can combine sex, sensuality, intellect and friendship.

If you suddenly pull back like you are not interested in sex with him and just want tobe his friend, he will know you are being false (he is quite perceptive) and it will not work. Be your sensual Taurean self - he is attracted to that.

From Bijou....

"For Real, VirgoBeloved. I know this may sound like I'm being contradictory but I get that you are a sensual person. There is nothing wrong with that!!! I've had the majority of my relationships begin by what I thought was a one night stand...when I was younger I was just far more relaxed about giving in to my desires. Now, that I know I'm only interested in a serious relationship - I wait until I know someone and have an established relationship before I have sex.

However, that is the point that I'm echoing. Sex does not equal relationship. You want BOTH - and that is what YOU want. That's cool, but something is preventing you from being upfront with this guy. Or else, the guy is not being upfront with you...and you are trying to figure him out. Frankly, it is emotionally dangerous to keep having sex with him if what you really want is a relationship and he's not being forthcoming on that.

There's nothing wrong with your desiring both. But don't fool yourself into thinking that it will "naturally progress" if you are already feeling some resistance to it unfolding on its own."

Bijou......... WHO/WHAT GUY are you talking about? My Mr. Aquarius and I are doing great and as I wrote in the other thread, he just asked me to move in with him, which I am doing...and I have not written anything about sex with him. Hmmm, I am confused about your post.

Hi Aprial....have have had you on my mind this eclipse weekend, perhaps because I spent yesterday and today with my Mr. Aquarius.

I reiterate...If you suddenly pull back like you are not interested in sex with him and just want to be his friend, he will know you are being false (he is quite perceptive) and it will not work. Be your sensual Taurean self - he is attracted to that. Always be yourself. Decide what you want with your Mr. Aquarius, communicate it and go from there -- without being what and who others want you to be. *smile*

Heehee Bijou!

Well thank you for the lovely compliment! I have never been called sensual nor thought of myself as such, so I will put that away in my pillow!

i saw him and i told him that i wanted to wait on the sex to get to know each other better. he didn't see the point of that and tried to offer some info on our status. then he told me that if i just wanted to manipulated him using sex, it won't work. i told him i didn't but didn't feel convincing. we'll see if he's lost interest very soon.

April you sound on the verge of having a nervous breakdown about whether or not you slept with this man too soon - it's silly really, and you CANNOT undo anything that's happened. Make the decision based on how YOU feel inside not how it might affect his feelings for you. He may fall head over in heels if you sleep with him tomorrow or he may lose complete respect for you. Do whatever you feel happy with and whatever you are prepared to live with afterwards...
Or if it bugs you that much speak to him the next time you're together and say that you felt it happened a bit soon but realise that each relationship has it's own clock - for some waiting six months is ok for others the first date is ok and they make it long term regardless...see how you feels about having slept together so soon?? Ask him straight out if he lost some respect for giving in so soon?
I don't know if all Aqua's feel the same but mine prefers there to be some mental bond and a basic friendship before jumping in the sack but I know for a fact that he's jumped into bed with one nighters in the past....so who knows?? Hence my advice to do what feels right to you - on a moral and emotional level - it's different for all we cannot tell you.

ive been dating this aqua for about 8 mths now..we started out good,then he disappeared for 2 wks which made me crazy...he eventually reappeared,,we have had some rough patches..his detachment drives me crazy sometimes,but we cant seem to shake each other..see the thing is when he detaches,i think its over then he comes back,,it took some time to understand,,it like he has refuel then come back..or just needs some alone time...if you look at it,,taurus need alone time too...at least i do..so what i did what shifted so we can be on schedule about when we want to be with each other...my suggestion is decide if the relationship is worth the stress/or decide if you can handle the aqua..then do as i stated previously...aqua has to have a certain amount of alone time,,as for judgement from aqua no such thing..i slept with my aqua after 2nd date...it is not a easy match,,because i do like to have a certain amount of closeness,,but with aqua you dont know the connection is there,,you feel but u are not sure if aqua is feeling the same..i figured out he feel the same just shows it differently...i think aqua shows it by being there when u need them or if something is needed they try to provided,,that is just my analogy to taurs/aqua match

I honestly don't get that....the only away time my Aqua has taken in the year we've been together was a week within the first two months we'd met (he went on holiday) and then a week two months or so ago (he went oversees on business). He is hinting at me moving in with him by saying things like we're practically living together already and giving me keys to his house. If we never saw each other for more than a day at a time without any good reason he'd be hurt.
I don't know if he's just different (has a Leo Moon but even Leo's can be somewhat detached) or if they stop doing this when they truly like who they're with——
In fact mine has started whinging that I don't phone him enough. I never call during working hours because he may be busy and generally I'm quite busy...and then he'll call me before I even get the chance to once I leave the office...and say something like, did you try call me today?? Um no why?? Well then why am I wasting my time calling you?? Your phone bill's always so high but you never phone me??
So yesterday I made a mental note to phone him at noon and he was chuffed.
Mine just doesn't do distance....why would some and not others—??

LA i think you just answered your questions ''why would some and not others—??'' with ''Leo's can be somewhat detached''.

The Aquas (and Scorpios) I know don't need physical space if you give them emotional space/patience and other compatibility factors come into play. In fact, I run from some of my Aqua friends sometimes (i.e. when my adventurous schizophrenic Aries-self shows up)

The Aquas (and Scorpios) I know don't need physical space if you give them emotional space/patience and other compatibility factors come into play. In fact, I run from some of my Aqua friends sometimes (i.e. when my adventurous schizophrenic Aries-self shows up)

You've hit it spot on Z!!!! It's NOT about physical space as such. My Aqua and I can spend an entire day holed up in the house without getting under each other's feet - emotionally and physically....he'll go off and do some DIY, I'll bath the dogs or read a book in the sun and every so often I'll go see what he's up to or vise versa....we also don't need conversation to feel comfortable in each other's presence...this dawned on me the other day...we were painting quite a large wall....in total silence...each one lost in his or her own thoughts. But not at all uncomfortable. Sometimes we'll be the car driving, also each one totally lost in his own thoughts. Then there are times we chat and debate until dawn.

What you said suddendly made sense, thanks.

Ah, i like him so much but i think i killed it yesterday. so we had the conversation over the weekend. and i saw him at a party last night. instead of being the popular girl that i was, i talked to many guys at this party. however, as soon as i saw him, i stood there and talked to him the whole night. he had to leave the party to get away from me. he never saw how popular i was. my girlfriend told me to leave him alone but i like him. so i stood there and talked to him until he left. he said he'd call today, but haent' heard from him. i know i killed it. he's definitely lost interest now. we are not compatible. just now. deosn't matter how much i like him, TOO BAD. TTO SAD.

yep, i saw him two nights ago and he literally ran away from me at the party. it was my fault though cuz i just cornered and him and didn't talk to any other guys there. there were so many cuties who bought me drinks and he didn't see any of it. i just totally focused on him. naturally cuz i like him but aquas would just run unless i play games with him.

anyhow, haven't heard from him in any way of communications, which is the longest since we met, no text, no email no phone call. he said he was gonna call yesterday but he didn't. the first time he flaked too. i'm sure it's finally over now. like you all have said, it's better short and painful then it's drawn out over the years. i can only take so much of them. i absolutely adore him though. 😢

now i look back, he was sweet and was making good effort. i should have just kept my cool. but i liked him too much and wanted more right away. he didn't do anything wrong. i was freaking out the whole time. when i saw him two nights ago, i kept calling him a "player" but he really wasn't. and i feel bad about the whole thing.

I just started seeing an aqua, although I do have a couple of planets in Aries i have a lot of taurus traits. My aqua came to my work (i bartend weekend mornings) for about 4 months before he asked me out on his boat. He got stuck (yeah right) and we did have sex that night. We have since only had sex a couple of times, but we hang out a few times a week and have a great time. He has stayed at my place a few and I have stayed on his boat a few. It is like a breath of fresh air to me that it is not all about sex. It is nice getting to no someone from scratch. He is not into the past but the future, which is also great, no talking about exes and all that stuff. It seemed that everything i read about the bull aqua thing is not good, but it is. The chemistry is great, conversation is great. He is super smart and is always watching me for my reactions, as I he. We do like to shock and surprise each other. I do not have to pretend anything with him. It would not work anyway. I am a very sensual taurus, but that does not mean I need sex all the time. Any Taurus with one of these aquas just needs to be super independant with things she likes to do on her own time. I look forward to being friends a long time with this aqua. We call each other "friends with benefits" which is just fine. I am not seeing anyone else and I do not believe he is either, I am just having a good time getting to know him and if it moves forward great, if it doesnt, then I know I will still have a friend for life!