The definition of love...

Big😱 "I mind as well burn it off now huh?"

Aquaaqi:"yes, because if you're not willing to back away from women friends and make room for a relationship to develop, then you are not really ready for a relationship."


Big😱 "She'd give me a whole fifty minute scolding for telling her to drop her dude friends, so I expect the same respect..."

Aquaaqi:"why are you telling her to drop her guy friends? You see, it's not even an issue of trust, it's an issue of commitment."


What Aquaaqi said was pretty strange to me at first, but then I started thinking about it. Most women thinks that you can control love by doing something for them (like getting rid of friends etc.), in order for a relationship to prosper...it's almost like blackmailing "Well, if you don't (insert bullbutter here) then YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!! Hmm, but if you loved me, you would trust me like I trust you...

I don't believe in this, I don't think sacrifice can measure your love for another. I'm afraid of the day I may marry, I picture chains being cuffed to this woman and the priest throws away the key...but if I LOVE her, wouldn't I WANT to be bound to her? Another words, in a woman's language of love, me AND her would willingly sacrifice our friends for what we truly want...which is obviously what neither of us truly want. Why force me to sacrifice if you aren't?

Love isn't needed for a commitment, and with that being said, if this isn't the main goal for either person then why break arms and limbs for this person if you know in your heart you probably won't be with her months, even years later?

Sola: "BigD..im shocked!! Sure, sew those wild oats of your, just dont do it with a girlfriend in toe cuz that?s just not nice. Anyways, imagine she was doing the same to you? I do it all the time!! Girls get crazy, doesnt mean they?re not playing their man at the same game? Me and n aqua i was dating did the SAME thing. Its not a trust issue, but if you?re throwing this in her face, then you cant blame a woman for losing it."

I don't know if this is an aqua trait or what, but Sola, I really don't care if she decides to make friends with a male stranger! It's her life and I just want to play an important role in it. I don't need drama, if she wants to have dude friends then soo be it...I trust her. Don't get it twisted, she does speak to men in front of me, I think that she just doesn't trust ME around women...possibly because of an incident of an old relationship, but if this is the case, I should be STALKING her lol!

Notso07: "Love is a verb."

Heh, and all this time I thought love was another word for 'hard work' lol

Yea, that's what I meant by wanting to sacrifice. Love would ultimately make me do these things, right? I feel as though losing my friends is equivelent to sawing my arms off just to make her happy, so why isn't she sawing any limbs off for me? CAUSE SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME!!! I KNEW IT!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Yep notso07, and with that being said, when it comes to me truly loving another...I'm screwed. If people believe that you have to give an eye to get an eye, we will get nowhere, aka it's a waste of time, and besides...I'd rather have my own eye.

To me, love is something you can't control. I'm sure I was in love at one time, and I did some crazy things for this woman that did NOT pay of in the end years later. I sit here even today wondering how much of a fool I was to think that this is what it takes to have someone love you when they really don't.

To me, love is an overwhelming feeling you get, not the things that you do. If love is based on what you do, then geez...I must really hate my family members...

Heh, I'm the type that never send you birthday cards, or flowers for my girl on Valentines day. I don't see the value in these things...I'd rather give you my time, and if you're my girl on Valentines day...my body as well lol!

What happened last night??

Ok BigD about the buying presents on significant days. Its fine because that?s how YOU feel about it, but women love to feel special and thats (in my opinion) where its going wrong for you. I mean, most of the time ou?re probably great, but to show you care when it counts, commercial days or otherwise, is going to get you lot further than standing your ground. Sure a woman needs your time and your body, but its the little extras that count too (trust me)!!

Shut your mouth.

Thats the best thing ive wriiten to date.

LOL!

DXP is sooooo entertaining.

Exactly what I said.
Aqi's right, he's not ready.
His friends need to respect the relationship as well.

I kinda figured, that's why I thought about it thoroughly. I'm pretty open-minded about things, even if I think I'm right on a subject. I'm sure that time changes a man, I'm not gonna be the same guy today 10 years from now.

Apparently, what you're saying is that I'm lying to myself. I think that love is out there somewhere and that it will hit me one day, but actually I'm fighting love away...I guess I'm not cut out for a relationship huh?

Sadly, Sola, I don't see ANY value in getting things like flowers and cards for women. I'm not sure that this is gonna change at all. I give what I think is worth it, and what's worth more than me and my time?

Your definition of love is way too much work and change for me to even begin to imagine. Maybe that's why I failed in the love game once before. I don't see the benefits of sacrifice and bondage for a woman that may not even stay with you. Honestly, I'd cringe at anyone who would acutally follow these rules just for this thing called love.

I love my brother, this I KNOW is the truth. All my life, I've embarassed him, beat him up in front of his friends countless times, dissed him, ignored him, took his things, and the list goes on...but when I'm away from him, I need to know that he's ok. I think of him a lot to the point where I feel as if I need to drive down to my mother's crib to kick his ass to make me feel better. I reflected on my attitude, and these are just all excuses to grasp his attention. He holds no beef against me either and constantly keeps in contact with me. I never say it, but I think he knows that I love him just as much as he loves me, even though we have a pretty strange relationship.

Everyone's saying that they know the definition of this love thing, but one thing that I've learned off experience is, that love is totally illogical. If you think you can make sence of love, then you're more confused than you think you are. Love also differs from person to person, I know a girl who loves their man soley for money, and he's almost as old as my mother (49)!

No BigD, im not saying what you beieve is wrong about the flowers etc, im just saying that although its great to think "ouside the box" Its also good to be conventionally romntic. I mean St Valentines Day is the celebrated love date of the year...surely it wouldnt hurt to indulge for just one day (your girl?s pride is at stake y?know)!! (I think i have to PM you soon and we can have some serious chat (you being my protig? and all)!! You?re my little boo anyway.

"We make decisions based on what is in our best interest. So, I guess if safety is a factor, then it is in our best interest to live with the guilt of wronging someone and the imbalance that causes."

Not necessarily. The basest of instincts is not always the most important.

Instinct can be counter intuitive and also obeying the instinctual urge can be dangerous to the self as opposed to being self protective.

Oldies

wow I just now realized superior just how old this is