The Game

So, is it all a game with Aquarius's? Because it's a really frustrating game. My aqua asked me to come visit him this weekend and now, again, nothing. I made plans and we even discussed my son coming with, which was awesome because we've discussed that that's a step towards something more serious and now, nothing. I really like this guy but I'm not sure if it's worth these games. So, honestly, is it all a game with Aqua's?

What are you talking about? Did u call and he not answer or something?

Yes. No reply.

Just turn up then..a date is a date.

Tell him don't waste your time, but you can't be afraid and tap dance around his feelings, you have to let him know in a non-accusing non-criticical judgemental way how his not showing up made you feel, be positive FIRST and then go into the issue, for example you can say I know your busy so am I, I was sure we made plans and when I didn't hear from you it made me feel like upset (insert your emotions) as though you don't care about my time, all of my time is tied up around my life and son so when I make plans with someone it's important to me so please don't waste my time.

No this is not a game, there are several reasons why men behave this way, one of them being to see if a woman is going to add frustration to his life if he decides to be an asshole, you have to know how to call a man on his shit or he will not respect you as a lover and feel he can just pop in and out, drop dates with no warning when he can. Find a way to tell him or dump his ass. Address it or dump him or do both

addressing your issues with men will separate the boys from the real men in your life, if he's a boy he will get upset projecting the blame onto you by saying your drama or acting annoyed or behaving poorly towards you but if he's a real man he will apologize and won't do it again.

I agree with tiki. Nip it in the bud. Do not be afraid to address and discuss a man's behavior, They do respect you more for it in the end.

forget em they always pull shit like taht then think nothing wrong with it like NOTHINg is their fault SAME with aquarius women they find it cool to do that, they also find it cool to go off sucking dick and hacing multiple partners and think its nothin lol.. thats nasty

if this happened twice cuz i noticed you said again, then shouldnt that be a sign that he doesnt want what you want?


and even if he does apologize, it doesnt seperate him from the boys, an apology can be a temporary band aid until once again he makes an empty promise,

now you need to decide what your time is worth, he even said for you to bring your son, and then no reply? i think i would have my answer right there

actually it does separate the boys from the men, man-boys will never apologize, it's never his fault, he's going to be difficult and he's a pain in the ass, he can't help but act out and be a jerk.

But what I believe most women fail is they believe all men know how to be close to a woman, they believe only bad men do bad things, the good ones act out too, whose to say this man is not a great guy, NOT ALL MEN KNOW how to be in a relationship, this is what tons of women don't get, they think he's a grown man he should know how to love and connect and be with me but there are men that don't GET IT, they just don't get how important love, connection, being on time is to women and DON'T WANT to get it so it seems like games to us. She has the option to walk away, say fuck it, fuck him and let it go or she can address it and it may never happen again but if it does happen again she can WALK AWAY and never look back.


It's easy to say forget this dude, oh gosh if it was that easy all women would stop dating these men but realistically just as there are women in the world that don't get it, don't get how important it is to be in control of her emotions, have her life together there are men that don't get it either....

He may not have made an official date with her, maybe they just discussed it in passing, maybe they didn't set a time, date and place, there are different variables to this issue. If he made an official date with her and her son and he didn't show up well IMO he's flaky and should be dumped but I'm not her, letting it go would save her a bunch of headache and time and would be the easiest thing to do or she can address it and he may surprise her and step up as a man, it's really her decision, it's up to her decide to completely move on or to address it.

She's responsible for herself, what she deserves with a man, only she can say if he's worth her time...

Thank you, Tiki. You read my mind. It is my decision and I don't believe that he's just another guy being a jerk. I had a moment of panic last night and am sure that I will hear from him by this weekend. Any relationship is about taking the chance that you could get your heart broke and it's up to everyone to decide whether or not one particular person is worth the risk. If I don't hear from him by the weekend, then I have a decision to make and will go from there. He made a promise that he'd see me again and I can choose either to believe him or not. In my experience, when a man doesn't call, he's lost interest. Too many men have just disappeared off the face of the planet with no explaination but it's not fair to hold their behaviors against him. That said, I'm going to settle down, live my life, and take the leap of faith. If I get hurt, it's only my heart that's broken.

Just remember that it's not necessary to give your heart away to be with a man. Your heart should be earned, given away too easily he will take it for granted and break it, if you 2 are not in a real solid commitment I wouldn't worry too much about how he's behaving, just make sure your not being his doormat, what I mean by that is your not going to hold in your feelings to KEEP him around, your not doing things to make him interested like giving him things, money, sex, running errands etc and make a promise to yourself to address the important stuff early on and not allow your feelings to grow until you freak out and explode and cause more distance, there has to be a level of respect and balance. Love is risky business, being vulnerable with a man is risky but if you feel he's worth a try then go for it, you only have to answer to yourself.

It's your life. Just remember to not panic when the hard stuff comes up, he will RESIST being in a commitment with you, being close to you, there will be hard issues that surface and if you keep your cool eventually a level of trust will be established, the most important thing you can do is go live your life, have fun, date other men if you can and enjoy your son and family and don't worry about it.

And lastly If he's too resistant you might have to call it a wrap but only you can determine when you have had enough.

I know all that but it's nice to have a reminder. Thanks! ;}

With any man of any sign, the minute they can spot a woman whose willing to keep quiet & put his feelings above hers, they'll literally allow the situation to turn into just that: the man always getting away with something over & over b/c he CAN. Is it true that sometimes Aquas pull the disappearing just to reappear just to disappear act? YES, but this usually only happens when we're dealing with someone we don't consider very serious. We are VERY aware of this tendency about us & we know the damage & negative effects it can have on our relationships/friendships. The problem: Unless we're dealing with someone we deep down feel is serious, we don't care. Speak up & tell him how you feel. Aqua or not, if you let a man lead you on, have all the control & all the power, he will take it. And if you let him, why should he feel guilty about it? It's a 2 way street. Someone cannot use you or lead you on w/o your consent. He may be a good guy all day but him being nice & sweet aint worth anything if he's not dependable, reliable & trustworthy. Words are just words. And it sounds like this guy's actions are NOT matching up with what he's telling you. Fix his butt & let him chase after you. Make him earn your time. Sounds like you're too available to him & that if he sees anyway out (b/c something else probably came up) he'll take it. If you don't put a stop to this, it will only continue & 2 things will happen. 1. He'll lose respect for you (Don't forget that Aquas are very aware when they disappear..and yes, sometimes how we end up viewing/respecting a person can depend on how that person handles us when we're in the wrong) 2. You're going to get your feelings too attached based off of his words, only ending up to be disappointed when it finally hits you that his actions & words were telling 2 different stories. Figure out where your priorities are. Is it more important to you to have a guy that is dependent & does what he says he's going to do?? OR is it more valuable to you to have a man that knows how to say & do the right things to make you feel better (even if it's a bunch of bull & broken promises)> And whatever you prioritize as important stick to that! And if he's good for you, HE will stick to it too