Think I made a mistake

Ok, I feel awkward putting this out there. My heart hurts and Im afraid I jumped the gun too soon. Advice or Opinions would be great. Im a Pisces and he's an Aqua. I met him online in February 2013. Our first meet had us in bed together. I left that night thinking it was a one night stand. Couple weeks later he wanted to "see me" again. The sex was amazing so I agreed. This happened a few times. At one point I hadn't texted him in almost a month, out of the blue he texted me " so who you fucking since you ain't fucking me? It caught me off guard and kinda pissed me off. I thought we were booty call. So not his business. Right? I kinda blew him off, but then the chase was on. He was making more time for me etc. As time went by, I began to feel attached to him. So a couple months ago, I was having a texting conversation with a good friend about my feelings towards him. What should I d oabout it? He began texting me at the same time. And so how a text about him went to him. I couldn't deny it. His name was in the text. So I told him that somewhere Along the way o got emotionall Attached. Didn't know what to do. He wad more concerned with what we were saying about him. I assured him it was nothing bad. He didn't say much...just Ok and a Smiley face. 2 days go b I drop him a text he immediately replies. Bam!! Im at his house that night. So the weeks go by, we start spending more time together. He shared very intimate details about his childhood. And previous failed marriage etc. Had me over when his son wad visiting. Etc.

OMG my typos are horrid. Best I could do from my phone. Please bare with me lol

I am in a custody battle and was feeling down. Thought I would visit him. As I approached his house I noticed a vehicle. In thedriveway. OMG he was leaving his house with.a female. I felt pretty stupid for arriving. Unannounced. He saw me driveby too. Ugh!! Because we have an open relationship. I didn't say anything to him.about it. But it did hurt. A couple days gho by and he asked me to come see him. He's telling me how bad the last couple. Weeks had Been and threw in how his friend had just broke up with her boyfriend. And has been bugging him to hand out with her. He said how it bothered him cause she only comes around when this happens. Well the stalker in me came out. A few nights later intuition tells me to drive by his house. Annnd her car is there. Feeling hurt and sick. I texted him "I think this is goodbye for me. I am too emotionally. Attached and its not getting better. Im sorry for changing the rules half way through. Thank you for the memories " he replies. "I do understand, Hope things work out with your daughter, Sorry" Im panicking now cos when I left his house I thought I seen his car coming up the road. And I ran home to get something. Thought I waoukd "stalk" his house...I know creepy. And her car was gone...im freaking were they just hanging and not ypy know...like I thought. OMG!! What should I do. Other last month he wax being so kind and gentle, sharing his thoughts and ideas. He even freaking cuddled me for the first time. I think I screwed up with my dam jealousy ...please help....and excuse the typos...I did this from my phone...what a pain.

Also, I'm between jobs. 2 weeks ago he mentioned his company had an Opening
I made a joke asking him that you do realize this would put us in the same.building together. He said I know it would. Be distracting.

Well, you didn't screw up anything as far as a relationship with him goes. He made it clear this was just a fling with no strings attached. This wasn't going anywhere from the get go. His reaction to your calling it off text was straight forward with no question about that.

However, not only is your stalking him making you look crazy and psychi, but you are also hurting YOURSELF! Stop this now!!!!!

I'm sorry for your pain. I know you're hurting. Just take it one day at a time and it will get better. Try to find some fun things for you and your child to do together and work on building that relationship.

For what it's worth, this:

"I think this is goodbye for me. I am too emotionally. Attached and its not getting better. Im sorry for changing the rules half way through. Thank you for the memories "

was a very classy way of calling it off.

Thank you I thought it was classy too. I dislike dramatics.

Posted by my2grlz
Thank you I thought it was classy too. I dislike dramatics.

Good. Because stalking someone is more than dramatics, it's madness!

Otherwise, I don't see how you made a mistake. You did the right thing saying goodbye to him, if you got attached and he didn't. You have to BELIEVE he didn't! He hooked up with someone else already.

As a fellow Pisces, who was in love with an Aqua, I would recommend saying goodbye face to face, though. In that moment you will KNOW/FEEL that is completely over and become able to move on.

Undine, did it not work out with your aqua? 😢

I'm so sorry. 😢

ay oh to say you never be that happy again, its hard to have to go through a break up but when you get through it you do know that you will happier than previous and the break up you had to go through just makes it like that. Dont realise that you could ever get thru any breakup of any sort but when you get thru this one you will be happy again but more so. Its the getting thru part which I dont like at all but I know once thru things are always so much better. Always worth the breakup in the first place really.

Posted by Undine
I miss what we had. Never again will I be that happy.

Stop staying stuff like this to yourself!!!!! If you believe such, you will speak bad relationships into existence in the future b/c when you don't sub-consciously believe that you deserve better!

You WILL find better. I get that losing him hurts. Any time someone doesn't measure up to our expectations & hopes/dreams, it leaves us feeling hurt & a huge sense of rejection. It sucks. BUT that's no reason to go jinxing yourself in the future!

If you think "Happiness" is being someone's F buddy & "1 of many" options, then imagine what life will feel like when you finally meet the right guy who will make you a priority, & prove his loyalty to you by committing to you? THAT is true happiness! This guy gave you fun, NOT happiness. There's a helluva lot more to happiness than good sex & cuddling once a year.

You did the right thing. You acknowledged that you were just an option to him & instead of beating a dead horse, you accepted it as a loss & lesson learned & are making steps to move on. Good for you!

You'll be ok. The storm will settle soon. The best way to move on is to remind yourself that this was HIS loss, not yours. If you keep going about this as if this was your loss, then you'll be stuck right where you are...feeling like what he had to offer (sex, inconsistency & other women) was the best that it gets. And if you keep sub-consciously believing that, you'll be playing a dangerous game b/c we both know that women attract what they feel they deserve. If you feel you deserve this, THIS is what you'll keep on attracting

You're not a happy camper right now, so CLEARLY your claims of him equating to "happiness" are false! Fun & happiness can be 2 different things. Fun is great & all but as you can see, it doesn't last forever! Happiness with someone lasts a lot longer than 20 minutes in the bedroom.

Move on girl! You deserve AND WILL get better =)

@Undine, just physical location isn't important if your connection is that deep.

Posted by Undine
Except for the fact that the Aqua was not my FB, but a man who gave me a lot of his time, attention and affection. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

There weren't other women involved, as far as I know........he wouldn't have had time for them, since he put so much energy into what we had..

If you saw him leaving his house with a woman then he absolutely DOES have time for other women. He proved that the minute you saw another woman. Doesn't mean that he loves her or will marry her, but trust & believe...every man has time for what he wants to make time for & that includes the most busy men in the world. Simply "working a lot" doesn't mean diddly squat b/c as you can see, lots of men (some of the busiest men in the world) somehow find time for other women even though they are super busy & even have wives/families at home. So don't make excuses for him.

It's like the women who swear it's impossible for their man to cheat b/c she's with him 24-7. YeahNO. Even the men who women feel they've put on 24 hour leashes somehow find their way out & around WHEN they REALLY want to. There's no such thing as a man not being able to do what he wants to on the side if that's really what he wants to do.

I get that you really cared for him & I get the sense that he probably cared for you too but remember, he never committed to you. If he had all the time in the world to sleep with you, caress you, go out with you & spend all that time with you, what would having a title make a difference? Remember, he had that same job & was still just as "busy" back then too. BUT he made the time for you back then, despite all that was going on, now didn't he? So again, don't make excuses for him.

I get though that you're really upset about all of this. You're supposed to hurt a little. That's a natural process when you feel a sense of loss with the person you were so ready to invest your all in. But if he's not willing to take the risks with you, then you need to back up & cut your losses.

Doesn't mean he's a bad guy, but just that you're nobody's fool & deserve a guy who makes time for you out of his busy schedule. We're ALL busy honey. We're all stressed. We've all got our stressful lives that we're trying to juggle along with everything else. BUT when a person wants to make time, they will. This guy is no different & is not exempt from that principle

I also think your text to him was very well put. You were clear and honest and you have nothing to feel embarrassed about. Why should a woman have to pretend she has no feelings or hopes for a relationship with a man she's sleeping with?! It would make you quite a cold person, no? It sounds like both your lives are pretty complicated right now and that could be where he is coming from with not chasing you. It could easily be also that he really is just friends with that girl - I have a lot of male friends and will stay overnight as friends and stuff - it's totally platonic. It's easy to jump to the obvious conclusion. I wouldn't worry about that too much. All you can really do now is just wait and see if he gets in touch again but if he does if I was you I would talk face to face about it - don't tell him about the drive-bys but do tell him you're emotionally involved and if he doesn't see the situation evolve past just sex then you can't do it any more.

Your jealousy wouldn't have ruined anything - if a guy is really into you I think they like to see a bit of jealousy there cos it shows you care. I still wouldn't mention the drive-bys though! :-)