My aqua girl finally confessed her feelings

Ugh of course an ex's timing is always perfect

Of course they come back right as you're finally getting your head above water

Notice what she DIDN'T say though. She made no mention of rekindling anything or starting over. Sounds like she was just trying to give you closure, a final explanation & a mending to her own guilty conscious for what she did to your heart.

I know you're slap stick happy to hear from her & that your 1st instinct is to think that you 2 still have a chance. After all, she's freakin' talking to you again!! Yaaaaay, right?! Well not necessarily. Sometimes you've got to listen & pay attention to what a person is NOT saying.

If she were to talk about starting over or rekindling things, then you'd have a decision to make. But she didn't, so if I were you I wouldn't have taken her text as code for keep chasing her or keep "waiting" on her b/c I think it'll lead to a road of more disappointment.

She's got some intimacy & commitment issues. Yes, she's probably a great person & good for you in every other way but that way! The big picture though is that none of that matters if that person won't trust you or themselves enough to emotionally invest in you.

A person can't give you what they don't have. If she doesn't have the willpower or ability to allow herself to let go & fully give in to her feelings for you, you 2 will always be where you are: Stuck in the middle with you being confused & feeling half lead on & half frustrated to the point of just saying F it

Wait until she says she's ready to rekindle or restart things before you automatically assume so. If she doesn't, that means that she either gave up or still has the same issues she had then, which is no bueno for you anyways. Be very careful, especially since you've made all that progress in moving on

This is a high risk-high reward situation though

She may be passively-aggressively asking you to reach out & do enough to bring her back to you. Sometimes a person just wants you to take the lead & go first b/c they are fearful or lack the confidence/courage to come after you after all the hurt they've caused you. But if the other person can put their own fear & pride down and reach out again, she may fall right into your arms like old times & never leave them

OR it could go all bad for you. You could reverse all of your progress, go back to waiting or chasing her, try your hardest to preserve this moment where she's being so open & vulnerable with you, only to come up empty-handed at the end of it all. Again, some people don't have the conscious to go their whole life w/o giving you an explanation. So when they come back, it's not necessarily to rekindle anything, but moreso to give you the closure they know you deserve. Sometimes that's it & the ending to a beautiful story

It can go either way though. It's all about whether or not you can emotionally afford to take the risk of opening that door again & reaching out. If you can't afford the confusion, disappointment or heartache, don't do it. If you can, go for it!

I agree, closure is so important. Although, a lot of people can still move on & heal without closure from the other person, I do however believe that getting closure in a way that is pure, genuine, honest & not using it as a manipulative tool to wheel someone back into a toxic situation, is def. important & preferred.

The problem with FINALLY getting closure after a sudden peak of distance w/o an explanation is that when the person finally hears from them, their heart hears what it wants to hear & is automatically associating "hearing from them" to = "Still having another chance."

B/c emotions are at their highest the minute the other person finally responds to you, it's very important to still remain an equal level of emotion & logic...the same normal balance that people start getting back again once they're finally moving on. Hearing from that person again can completely disrupt that balance all over again lol, which is why it's important to actually LISTEN to what the other person is both saying and NOT saying

There is a difference b/w "I just wanted to give you closure" Vs. "I wanted to give you an explanation AND restart/rekindle things." HUGE difference. But unfortunately, sometimes the heart can't discern b/w the 2, which is why the moment the poster is having is either a make or break.

If he/she jumps back in like the light was green, when it REALLY was just still yellow or flat-out red, there will be extreme disappointment in the long run b/c of their inability to recognize that the light to invest again was never green.

Closure w/o the other person mentioning that they want to rekindle things means that the light is still red (meaning accept the apology but stay where you are). A red light (commitment issues) is still red no matter how many people are telling you to drive through it, despite it being a bad move to do so.

This is the hardest part.

Krysrenee and Ceuta just the two I was hoping would respond. I swear you two have a way of really breaking down things and beautifully so. For me this was the closure I needed . My aqua girl is young and immature she lives in the fast lane and her being stable is just a faze. I choose my sanity, although it is hard, and I want to run that red light ... It's a high price to pay.

@Ceu: I def. enjoy & respect your points of view. You are so thorough! Ugh I love it!

@Erd: I hope that you got the closure you needed. If that closure turns into rekindling, then so be it! And if you can emotionally afford to try again & possibly being just as disappointed later, then be brave & go for it. IF you can emotionally afford it though

If you can't, then yes the light is still red. Of course you wish it wasn't. But sometimes in life, the big picture is the compass that you use to navigate through a situation. And if the light is red, that means stop! Not keep going. Not slowly cross the road lol It's the hardest part though b/c logic is so hard to follow when emotion is always creeping up & trying to convince you that something is a go when it's really not.

But I get the sense that you are very smart, strong & mature. You will figure this thing out! And no matter which direction it ends up going in, you WILL be alright!

Hi Krysrenee7 and Ceu so i wanted to give you all an update. So i met with my aqua friend to talk, and this time it was different. My feelings toward her have definatly changed. I still see the red light but this time the things that i didnt once see, i see, in other word the rose colored glass have come off. I can tell you both that i had accepted that her and i was never going to be the together and honestly i was ok with that. I still am. I realized that people come into your life for you to experience certain things and that sometimes they are meant to stay and not stay. In this case over the course of 5 months of chasing after my aqua i had been missing out on a person who i have become very fond of. Its scary because it was so unexpected at a time where i was so consumed in someone who wasnt the one. I dont mean to get of topic, but i wanted to share with the both of you what has happen. So during the process of me and my aqua i had a good friend of mine who i always confide in talk to about everything(she a taurus), we work together, hang out sometime, but i never really notied her. Until one night we had spent over 4 hours on the phone talkin about life, what we wanted, love all that good stuff, it was good convo and a great connection. Over the course of two months we would have these convo maybe once every two weeks but for hours. Not only that but we work together and i noticed that she was always inviting me to go to lunch and we would chat at lunch as well. Oh no im thinking i cant do this again, especially not someone i work with(HELL NO)... but something happen this girl has connected with my soul... my soul... a soul connection... wtf WHY i just gotten over someone and now this...but this time it was different, we go out to dinner, she responds to my txt(immediatly)...she is dreamy and understands me, we have a connection i mean we have known each other for over a year and im just now noticing this...my mind ponders. I can tell you guys that I am a lesbian you both know this, however this girl is straight(RED FLAG), LOL but i cant help it she has touched me, and i feel somewhat bad for even going there with my aqua when my intentions are not to give her another chance. Do you guys have any guidance on when someone connects with your soul a true soul connection... im telling you the feelings i have for this girl(taurus) are intense.. the energy that pulls me towards her is un-real.

Well in the same way that I'd encourage you to trust your gut/intuition when it's telling you something bad, I'll also encourage you to trust that very same intuition when it's telling you something good.

If it's telling you to run, then run. If it's telling you to gravitate more towards a person, then do so!

Your Taurus is def. not straight. If she's 100% straight, that means that everything she's doing with you is platonic. Straight women aren't physically or emotionally attracted to the same gender. The fact that they aren't is what makes them well "straight." lol

She's probably bisexual & hasn't come to terms with it yet. Or maybe you're the 1st person that will bring that out in her. But remember, someone can't bring out something in you that wasn't already there. Sometimes others can bring something out in you that you didn't even know existed!

If you feel a spiritual/soul connection to her, explore it. Go for it. See where it goes. Keep in mind still that nothing is ever guaranteed & that even having a soul connection with someone doesn't mean that you'd be meant for each other in a romantic way. BUT, be optimistic about things too b/c holding back and/or allowing a past fling to dictate what you do with future people is a dead end street for both you & the people who never had it out for you (in a bad way)

Sometimes the best connections are those we didn't see coming & from those we least expected to have a connection with. When it's unplanned, it's usually more genuine b/c it's not like you went iinto this with the intention of using her to get over someone or using her to fill any lonely voids. It just happened. Those are the best beginnings for the best love stories =)

Good luck