Two Aquas = ULTIMATE CONFUSION!

My first real relationship was with a fellow aquarius. We're both very much textbook aquarians and all was well for a while. It's hard in a relationship when both are detached and not emotionally affectionate, although I can say that I truely love this aqua boy. We broke up due to a combination of parental issues and the fact that living distance was taking a toll. However right after out break-up he said he wanted to get back... but I lost his trust to a point where I couldn't accept it so easily. So we decided on being friends. He still kept calling me, even more often than when we were together. But not long after that he started hooking up with girls at camps, clubs and parties (he's known for being a casanova). So for me personally, I knew that I couldn't go back, not with him acting like that. So we kept incontact, always him calling me. Until the 5month of our post-break-up period he called me up again, trying to bring back all the good memories and asking me whether or not I still miss us, and that he really missed being with me. I stuck on trying to be touch, but then eventually gave in and gave him the answer he wanted to hear. After that, he said that we've moved this far, theres no point on pondering on the past. I swear, I have never been messed up by a guy so much like him.. he was the first guy who gave me butterflies and who I was first attracted to... never has anyone taking me like this before. So I decided to confront him with what he wanted, and for the first time I told him that I still loved him. He was always the one who said it during our relationship, but I was too scared/didn't knwo how to show my emotions. I don't regret saying it, I regret saying it too late. He said that by saying "do you miss us" didnt mean that he wanted us to get back together, that maybe in the future but not at this moment. However that wasnt what I was after, I just wanted to know the truth on why he was playing around with me. It was obvious that theres no future for us. Not for us to get together. He told me that he himself was confused with what he wanted.

So him being the typical aquarius wanted us to be back to friends, but I personally said I wasnt too sure. The phone calls started again, however this time I regularily ignored them. When I ignore them he gets defensive and pesters me on returning the calls etc. And then broadcasts on fb that he tired calling this other girl... what is he playing at?

he's known for being a casanova- There is your answer 🙂

However, that's not to say that he's a bad guy . He's just as confused as you are. I need to know what you meant "but I lost his trust to a point where I couldn't accept it so easily" ? What did he do? What did you do?

"So for me personally, I knew that I couldn't go back, not with him acting like that" Did you tell him that ? Or for the entire time, you were just like " We're suited to be friends "? If you just gave out signal "let's be friends" and never told the guy what you wanted then how on earth he knows what to please you? On the other hand, if you've laid out things on the table yet he still did the same then you also have the answer here: He doesn't care that much about you. Maybe he loves/likes you but it was not enough to take things further.

"So I decided to confront him with what he wanted, and for the first time I told him that I still loved him.He was always the one who said it during our relationship, but I was too scared/didn't knwo how to show my emotions." You've asked him what he wanted but what do you want? Do you know? Is it really "I just wanted to know the truth on why he was playing around with me"? Or is it "would you like to start again?" If you don't have feeling for this guy then why being confused and hurt about his actions? Your actions are indeed confusing too! You want love but you also want control. You both hold your cards close to your chests. You took one step forward then took one step back. The guy was successfully to get out your "jelousy" emotion. However, he just loves control like you so he thought that was just victory by getting out a confession from you. Now , the question here is can you two sit down and have a real confession of your emotion and stop the silly games?

""do you miss us" didnt mean that he wanted us to get back together, that maybe in the future but not at this moment." Of course not because you both still are very afraid of your emotions.

Hahaha, true that! He flirts with both guys and girls! LOL! It's just how he interacts with people I guess.

Well when we were together I had 100% trust in him, I gave him his space and never questioned his actions. However there came a time where I didn't hear from him for 2 weeks. It was during exam period so I for the first week I wasn't so concerned, however later he wouldn't pick up the phone calls or his mobile would be turned off. But that never stopped him from contacting a couple of girls he just met around his area. I also had a hunch that there was one girl he's been having a crush on for a while, which he later admitted to having. And during that time, he had no hesitation to get in contact with her either. And once I asked him what happened to his phone, he just said it was broken etc. But what made me question him was his body language when I asked him about this 2 weeks absence, his body was shifted away from me, his eyes would wonder about, and he wouldn't look at me, unless he was trying to make a dramatic —believe me?? effect. Which I??ve never seen him do, his usually very focused when you talk to him. I guess, that just ticked me off.

I??ll admit that I was childish and just said —lets be friends??. I told him about the issue, but I guess I didn't emphasise it as much as I should.

Hahaha, I am truely confused. I guess... I do still have feelings for him, but after what his done with all this mind games and controlling games, I'm not sure if I really want to get into another relationship with him. I think you??ve got it right there. I want love, but this whole time I never saw that I wanted to control him or vice versa (thank you for pointing that out!). I guess, I wanted to see that he did truely felt something for me, and that this wasn't just nothing. And that his actions proved that he still had feelings for me?

See, knowing him... he??ll say why bring back the past, we've moved on so far already... why can't we just be friends, why bring up the problems etc. He??ll do anything to dodge a confrontation... and I hate being the one who seems to create all the drama.

But thank you for your post... it's got me thinking about alot of things that I never saw before. 🙂

aquarius girl...that was my first love
until i found out she was a slore....never again.

The tricky part about Aquarians is that even after they have emotionally detached and/or done with the relationship as a whole, they still might be okay with continuing contact with that person. Of course this confuses the other person b/c we are breeded to believe that people only go out of their way to establish/maintain communication/contact with someone IF they are 1. Still in love with that person OR 2. Have some kind of intention (good or bad).

I agree with Exam, in that this guy is probably just as confused as you are. Him trying to play the field & become perhaps a new 'player' is normal for some guys who have lost a good thing & don't know how to restore the same quality back into their lives. Plus, men always swear that it's easier for them to move on. If this guy was establishing quality friendships/relationships with other women, that'd be 1 thing. But I'm sure this guy is still too emotionally unavailable for that to happen, so if that's what you're worried about, I'd guess that YOU are the only girl his emotions are still attached to. And this is what makes men so tricky. They can move on and/or start relations with other women even if they are not yet fully over the last girl & of course to the last girl, them doing this gives off the impression that they have moved on, thus when they still try to initiate contact, the question of their intentions comes into play.

If you already know deep in your heart that you 2 will never be together, then I'd say try to move on & start the healing process. Don't start feeding into/worrying about the WHO's, WHY's & WHERE's of who else he might be seeing/investing his time into. Sometimes them moving on so quickly is just a cover/defense-mechanism for the hurt/ego-crash they are experiencing.

Perhaps this guy still wants to maintain some form of connection with you only b/c the breakup was mutual. Had you done something completely untrustworthy or that smelled of "betrayal" there's a good chance that he wouldn't be begging to step back into your life. And b/c you 2 didn't seem to end on bad terms, perhaps THAT is the reason why he's somewhat comfortable/content with you still remaining in his life & especially as his friend. Remember, Aquas are the sign of friendship.

I will admitt that his actions are truely confusing; I bumped into him recently and he was avoiding to talk to me, when just a week ago he was calling me on the phone. However I'm trying to train myself to not read into things aymore, they get me nowhere except drilling into a deeper state of confusion.

Thank you for all your wise words... after reading everyones take on the situation and considering how long its been, I think the best and healthiest option I should take would be to let go and heal. It would be awefully flattering if he were truely still emotionally attached to me, but men are creatures who are ridiciously attached to their egos and pride. What I think what I've known all along, but have refused to believe, is that whether or not he has truely moved on, what he wants from me is just merely the control that he still has someone that loves him (I guess an ego stroker). In the past I've been censoring it and melded the truth in favour of my own emotions to feed my own ego.

And I agree, theres something about being an aquarius thhat keeps me wanting to leave things on a positive note.
And I think its with him too. We're just two egotistical aquas who don't know what we truely want and have allowed our emotions get the better of us.

But I will try with all my might to stop, let go and let be. 🙂 Lets hope it'll all be over soon.

P.s. Although, it's such an ego booster that he only turned into a true casanova after our break-up.