Virgo & Aquarius

Hi everybody!

I'm new in these forums and have been reading some of you for few days now 🙂
I'm not a big believer in horoscopes, but I have to recognize that I have seen similar behavioral patterns under people that belong to a given sign. I find that quiet interesting, so I thought I would join in to learn more about all this.

I have been dating an aquarius for close to a year now (yeah, I know half this board would be like, what?! An Aqua and a Virgo, that can't be! lol)

My fun aqua and I are very different in some ways but so similar in others, believe it or not. We both enjoy life, we love to help people, and we both can have wonderful chats, not to mention other wonderful things 😉

Just as wonderful as it has been, let me tell you, it's been quiet the ride!
My patience and flexibility has been tested like never before, but I'm sure I've been quite a pain in the butt too at times.

I've began to realize that aquas aren't that bad, but rather sweet and missunderstood. I can get see more clearly now why aqua and virgo can drive each other nuts at times, but also why we can still feel some sort of strong attraction towards each other (at least in my case is very true).

I think the only thing that is hard for me to deal with is the distance.
We both live in two different cities, have contrasting schedules, and my aqua, being the aqua she is, feels always torn between spending time with her friends, doing her activities and me and/or seeing her family.

So, althoguh I love my aqua, I wonder if this sense of prioritization becomes a little more clear over time. Meaning, do aquas feel less torn to choose between their friends/activities and bfs/gfs at some point? If it becomes more clear over time, what makes you want to spend more time with whoever you are dating as opposed to with your friends? Is this more clear in certain situations or would this be always something you'll struggle with? What has your experience been?

Any thought are welcome!

VirgowithalilLibra

do aquas feel less torn to choose between their friends/activities and bfs/gfs at some point?


this Aqua can make time for everyone and everything 😛...why choose?? why not enjoy all of them 😛

But in the past ( its hard to believe)but i've found myself choosing my BF over my friends and activities...

onefunaquarius and eliza..

thanks! see, this is why i like you guys, super honest whereas the world likes it or not and so fun! lol

OFA (onefunaquarius) - so you are saying right now for you, the choice is friends over your bf or did i missundertood, and if so, why? is it because is safer, easier?

eliza - what made your choice eaiser, when it came to hanging out more w your bf?
...

i think my aqua, uses her need for freedom as a self-protective mechanism sometimes...because she dated someone for 2 years in the past, an according to her the guy was extremely controlling and mean...so now, the last thing she wants is to give everything up again...

makes sense.

so she struggles with knowing that she can feel safe again in a relationship, thus she rather relies, spends times, and worries more about her friends...

for us vigos...this self-protection mechanism can be found in our lack of trust and skepticism sometimes.

we question people and motives, because we don't want to get hurt either...but in reality we do care and want to believe...and when we truly love, we get there...and is beautiful!

anyhow, this is helping already thanks 🙂

eliza - what made your choice eaiser, when it came to hanging out more w your bf?


ummm... unconditional LOVE 🙂...... i always wanted to see him happy.....

eliza - so you did chose spending more time w your bf in the past bc of unconditional love and mainly bc you wanted to see him happy...how sweet and considerate, that really means lots knowing how important friends are for an aqua...i hope he appreciate it that much, i know i would!

onefineaquarius - i gotcha, thank you for being so honest. i think since we are all different is okay to balance things in different order and at different times...it depends on many things you know. it seems as if you feel safer w giving things little by little to him...and it should be ok.

i hear ya about being a friend too above all, but here is my fear...what if i become too much of a "friend" to her...and then she only sees me as one at the end.
i defenitely want to be a friend, but most importantly someone she's dating 🙂

ALSO, we broke up once this year and it was sooooo confusing after the breakup. many times we both decide to not talk again, but we would fall in rigth back...and it was confusing, bc i gave her plenty of chances to get back with me, but she wouldn't run to that, and yet she wouldn't let me go completely...

(you are so right about the opposite attraction there pluto's muse!!)

so the next question is...

when break-ups happen with an aqua...is "staying" as a friend truly the best way to go? if you are truly interested in getting back, wouldn't that be risky, since you may be showing that you could be open for friendship only, even if you are not?

what helps you to miss and want to get back with somebody aquas? is it distance (someone's pulling back away from you) or is it friendship bounds that stay strong (and ex still talking to you)??

any comments appreciated...

She's an aqua... we like the friend think first routine, unless she's not atrracted to you. Well thats how it is for me, if i'm not attracted to you, you will stay in the friend category (u probably have nothing to worry about).

I like to stay friends with people i've dated (if their worth it), ive heard its selfish, but i didnt know. But the staying friends thing doesnt mean we'll get back together, this can be determined by the nature of the break-up.

'what helps you to miss and want to get back with somebody aquas? is it distance (someone's pulling back away from you) or is it friendship bounds that stay strong (and ex still talking to you)??'

If you pull back... I will pull back. The friendship bounds for me.

thank you Lady M!

yeah, i guess the only way to figure out where i stand after a break up, will be to stay friends, but try to keep it cool...we virgos are good at trying to keep it cool too...so is hard for either one of us to show how crazy we are about each other at times you know...

i've defenitely have done more love-crazy things though, lol, but hey, life is too short to hide all my feelings...so once in a while, i find it worth it to give a shot.

what is the "nature" of the break-ups you mentioned above that would make you think "this is the end of it all" lady M? can you give me some examples?

because with aquas...since friendship is most likely always an option...is hard to know when things are completely over or not...

thank you!!

The nature of the break-up..
*if was a mutual we need space issue: maybe
*You cheated on my, GO TO HELL: no
*We grew apart, but now im single again: maybe
*We are at different places in our life (figuratively or literally): maybe
*I was scared, I didnt mean to break up with you but I did (she'll never say this out loud): yes

Thank you Lady M!

That list helps a lot.

I think the one time we broke up may have been a maybe or a yes...still trying to figured it out...

Ever since we got back together sort of...she hasn't been working too hard at seeing me, but she calls me everyday, which tells me she's still into me or doesn't want to lose me...

I just feel like I need to be careful with not moving in into the "friends" box you know...so when I don't see her is hard, because I can hold her near me or kiss her to make sure she's and I are still what we used to be...

But I'm going with the flow and I'll wait to see what is unfolding now.

I'm giving her the space she needs to make her decisions and realize what she feels for me...hopefully, in the meantime, my heart will keep steady and hopeful that my life will be okay no matter what road she and I would ever chose.

My life is better with her in it, I feel. Maybe not easier, but better. I hope she feels that way too.

Oh wow, your definitely smitten...

'But I'm going with the flow and I'll wait to see what is unfolding now.'

Just stick with that and you should be fine. *notice the bold word

pluto's muse...i very much understand...
uh, i've never seen a twisted psycho aqua...i bet that's fun! lol

i have seen how my aqua does twist information to always look good in front of her friends though...oh my little aqua...if i'd like her so much...but is too later for me pluto! is too late! lol

OFA - yeah we need to find me a nickname, and yes, that positive/negative force is just something interesting for us too. what are things you did not like about your virgo or that he did, that ended things? share only if you wish...

and LadyM

yes, i'll wait...i'll wait to see what's really going on.

i'll give her a week more or two at max to put herlself together and decide if she still wants to see me and what's going on.
i gave her plenty of e-mails and options for us to move on...out of this weird stage...into something better...but i can't make her do that, she has to make that choice too.

if in a week or two she keeps on coming up with excuses or keeps on choosing to hang out with everyone else but me, in the only free times we have...and with the distance...then it will be clear for me, that i need to move on.

i love her dearly, and i do have questions and fears too, but life is too short to be hung up in someone so undecisive for years and years...

we'll have to see.

thank you!!