what does this mean to you aquas?

when an aqua tells you he wants you back, but hes just scared hes going to hurt you again so he would perfer you with someone else. a friend of mine is dealing with this and shes sure its a game, but shes not sure. any advice?

One thing's for sure...it means he's telling you that for whatever reason, he believes you deserve better. And anytime someone (especially men) tell you this, they're probably right!

There are many different possibilities as to why he said this:

1. He's being honest in that his insecurities/issues or WHATEVER is wrong with him, won't be fixed any time soon. In that case, he figures it wouldn't be fair to you to keep entertaining a draining/unfair/hurtful situation, that you'll probably keep complaining about or holding over his head anyways.

2. He's just testing you to see what you'd say to the "seeing other people" part. If this was just a test, he may be waiting on you to either eagerly agree to see other people (in which he'll ultimately be turned off) OR see just how loyal you are to him even though he's trying to push you in someone else's arms

3. He's ALREADY seeing other people. He just told you that you ought to too b/c he'll feel 10xs less guilty if your BOTH doing it.

4. He doesn't really want you back b/c if he did he'd fix whatever issues were holding him back in the 1st place. The average sane person won't let a good thing go, especially if the problems causing the friction are fixable. In other words, he may just be saying that he wants you back, but the truth is probably that he actually DOESN'T, but just doesn't want to be brutally honest & tell you that, thus it's easier for him to avoid hurting your feelings if his words sound sweet (even though his actions probably contradict everything he says)

5. It could be a game. Idk. It all depends on the circumstances regarding the breakup.

i doubt its a game with him though. they stopped talking for two months. when he came back he was under the impression she was over him and he was talking to everyone about it. she asked him straight up why did you come back and be honest, he said for you bc i want you back, then she said ok fine but you have to stop playing games and be open to telling me how you feel. she said she wasnt going to play anyore games with him, and then he told her that, and kinda left it like that. she told him back that they didnt need to be friends anymore, they should go back to not talking bc she still wants him and he her, she just doesnt understand why hes afraid.

Well if he was playing all those "games" her during the relationship, he doesn't have much credibility when he comes back randomly & says, "I want you back." If this guy played games or played on her emotions DURING the relationship, what makes you think he's changed AFTERwards? He's STILL the same person

Sounds like he really doesn't want to be with her. He may not have completely weened himself off of her yet, which is why he's still around in small ways, BUT b/c he doesn't want to be with her anymore, he's slowly but surely letting her down & advising her to do the very things that either he ALREADY IS doing (seeing other people) OR is about to start doing himself.

Again, when a person voluntarily tells you that they think you deserve better, they're probably right. This guy is literally telling her that he's not the one. He's literally telling her that them 2 being in a relationship is most likely NOT going to prove prosperous, but instead bring confusion, drain or further hurt feelings on 1 or both ends.

This guy does not want to be with her anymore. A guy that is truly into you/loves you will NOT be ok with his true love giving the goods (emotionally & physically) to someone else.

Your friend oughta be glad that this guy was honest with her when he told her up front that she deserved better. And that "better" comes in the form of ANOTHER person, NOT him. Most guys in these situations will keep you around just for the sake of getting the benefits, even if they no longer want anything long term with you. So she should be glad that he was honest enough to tell her the truth. There's nothing confusing about what he's saying. It's actually quite clear. SHE needs to make a move b/c he's allowing the ball to be in her court

And if he's hesistating b/c he's scared, it's probably for 1 of 2 reasons:

1. He was NEVER ready for a relationship/commitment in the 1st place. And him being scared now is another way of him saying, "Finally! I'm no longer in a relationship, which means I no longer have to promise to give something that I really can't give or offer."

A guy that was never ready for a relationship will feel a sense of relief once it's finally over & do all that he can to avoid stepping back into the very same thing (commitment) he was never ready for to begin with.

OR
2. He's taken the time to recognize WHY their relationship hasn't worked out & after being honest with himself, he's realized that unless things change (which he knows won't happen over night), there's no point in allowing emotions to take over (over logic) & jump right back into a situation that will probably offspring the SAME results as last time (i.e. a breakup or going back to square 1).

If the breakup happened solely b/c of HIM, he'd rather be single & take the risk of being heartbroken later on after she found someone else VS. staying, knowing that he didn't fix himself or whatever issues caused the split from the beginning. Some guys are actually NOT selfish. If they truly love/respect you, they'll love you enough to let you go & not pursue you anymore until they know for sure that they are ALL that you deserve.

like the beatles said: jus "Let It Be"

I second AbyLynk