Why Aquarian always get hurt by The Cancer guy

Last night is the moment of truth to both of us. I have been chasing this Cancer man from the very start of our known relationship. I must admit that I do care about him and I always find away to help him out no matter what. We get along but I don't like the why his showing me his affection I'm pretty sure I once win his heart and I truly feel that . It's just happen I feel so disrespected when I found out that he never stop chatted different dating site and he me we once giving me importance to any especial occasion and even my birthday is never once giving me a simple greeting instead of caught him on line to some adult site. I'm not able to confronted him personally cos he will only walk away and telling me I need to stop and I simply become boring I guess it's true cos I won't give myself easily in bed when I know he done something behind my back. We're not in a relationship but all of the message and calls seems like we both denying everything that were I that situation. I'd love to call him my man but how can I when he never stop doing those things behind my back. In the end I'm the one getting paranoid cos I don't have any idea about what I'm talking about. I was call differently names and accused of something personal ruined my reputation and dignity cos my too much I've lost myself respect and trust to him since then I can't get it all back cos it always happen twice or trice., denying that he has contact to her exgf I sounds pathetic here cos I supposed to leave him by that time but I don't really know what charisma he has. He so good of manipulating me and make me feel bad and I'm to shallow to give him comfort comparing my life and what I do and I'd tried my best to give all the help that I can financially and emotional support I was there bit there are times I am so full and I didn't put any break to control my bad mouthing him cos everything I said is based on my experience to him. We messed we keep telling each other that we hated each other a few week ago were okey. When I refuse him to sleep on my house we end up mocking around and his telling me that just kidding cos I intend to send him a picture of a guy suddenly he acted different and I told him that's what he always wanted me cos if I asked him to go our he will push me to date someone else via his busy. I tried and he found out that all cos he always pushing me away and I give them a hint yes I go our with those guys but it was a company and never intimate to anyone but to him

Are you familiar with putting something on a pedestal? I think this is what you're doing with him and that's why you're hurt. You sound like a caring person but you also sound like the enabler of the relationship. The way you wrote this all out already tells me you know you're hurting but you're allowing it.

So it's not a question of why you hurt (I personally can't agree with the thread title) by someone but why do you allow people to hurt you?

Losing your self-respect is like a whistle blow for "GO!". Thats the biggest loss of your life right there, so losing him/cutting him loose shouldnt be hard to do. If you could allow yourself to lose yourself then do yourself this last favour, and ALLOW YOURSELF TO LOSE HIM. He sounds like a loser tbh, you financially supporting him and all that. Believe me you dont need this guy and taking him out of your life will save you 2 things, a lot of misery and a whole lot of cash! Think about it.

Thank you so much, this is all trap cos I used to believe he needs my help for some issues. I don't want him to feel insecure cos I know his doing well to his life. I know he has a lot of frustration and I'd tried my best to help him out. He is getting so much aggressive to me when he see things that he never had it non stop comparing my life to his life. He always thinks everything was easy for me but this is all temporary material things and luxurious in life is nothing. All the things that he never had in life I tried to give my best I'm very sentimental person and I has a passion to travel I must be lucky cos my parents work hard but I never grow up with anyone of them cos they always working overseas. I'm not young anymore and I am very independent person I might be silly doing good times with my friends but I make sure myself value and respect is with me. I never live my life or move with someone and live in one place. I felt so embarrassed I'm not ugly and I can't easily say people think that I'm damn I usually past this all but when they hit my break they can easily melt down. One of my friend said to me that I don't need anyone who always pulling me around messing up my mind . If I trust a person and I allow them to my own vicinity I can easily forgive and forget no matter what they do to me. I was called that I'm buying my friends but I can easily stumble and fall and hurt me so deeply this past two years is very tough to met friends who against to him is now full force to pull me down. I have faith and I'm a believer and I never lose hope I know showings myself that I'm not scared or no more hesitation to want they always used against me is proven to all that even I put myself down to their level . I always make sure to back it all up and that's is all happening before and can't faced of when I show my other side and all my life I never dream off doing that cos I know showing all the evidence and black and white proof is not easy to deny. I'm so sick of this all I don't even want to pursuit my legal case against him but I don't dealt know if I have to deal with that cos this will be my last thing to do to him but I don't want to hurt him I'm so confused when we argue his steering at me and I asked him why. He actually laughing to me he always like that when he see me in person his giving a good smile and a bit teasing me. But my personality was strong when I'm with him I always show my restrictions cos e never ever discuss his issues

I'd like to go cos even a few friends mine that I really trusted is losing their patient cos I never stop chasing him I know I hurt him badly cos if I was mad I will tell him everything and he can easily meltdown .
I can't stand seeing him disappointed. I guess he always had an upper hand cos I always give and be forgot to give something in return. I had few incidents of verbal abuse to public places and in my own place he acted to uncontrollable due to his insecurities in life. I gave him courage and she forgotten everything I never hide my family or what usually do and how I live my life but behind that he will put a dirty to me and accusing me that he knows what I do and where I am his the one psychotic and yet I'm throne crazy bitch to him. I'm so tired I messed up my life and my relationship to my family to cover up his stupidity to me. One of my friend telling me that I should be wise cos I got it all bit I'm not like that I actually worried to him up to know cos I know he felt so embarrassed to the police who interview him and I hear on the other room his interview the investigator said to him to prepare to face off the legal matter if we both not settle. I must be thankful cos he never allow me to be in jails that night I could. I supposed to leave him at his place but he grab my purse and get all the card s on and I have to chase him and he said to me that he will bring me to the station to stop me. I'm not scared and he knows I'm not and I know the consequence I guess he see that I'm so hard to him I came to his place but I never beg him to come back but to get my valuable stuff that he didn't deserve I know a gift is a gift I just want to see if that's all he wanted and he said to me that he threw it all 3months ago that's bullshit I know that and I gave him option I'd like to have it all and I will help him to get it if he pawn or sell it so someone cos I got all the receipts and certificate. I know he did this all cos he things I'm heading back home for good while I only want to get my break and come back without thinking of him anymore. I don't really know if I was abused or I'm being stupid here. I truly gave that all within my food intention it's just I couldn't stand to all the issues never had explanation and telling me that that's what I'm think so be it. He will forgive me by words but I know the way his doing all this is a vengeance for me . I said to him I'm bot a fortune tell and he need to open how he feels

Your mind's a mess. It's okay to rant so let it all out. Things won't make sense, there's probably nothing I can tell you to alleviate it but one thing I do know is with time everything works itself out. That famous saying:

Everything's Okay. If it's not okay then it's not the end.

Forget everything you just said above and answer this...what have you decided to do in this situation? Do you wanna stay or leave? All this other stuff dont matter. You and I must be different kinds of aquas because once somebody hurts me I could care less about their feelings once they do that. You are not responsible for his feelings so quit feeling guilty about hurting him. He deserves whatever bad treatment you may dish up to him and that is to cut him loose...bye-bye. Its times like this when you need to shut your heart up and listen to what your head tells you to do. Sometimes emotions will get you no where. And besides hurt feelings always heal just as long as you stay away from their cause. Wake up!

I'm so mad at myself just need to wake up on my own delusion . For him I'm nothing and idiot dumb bass and childish yes may be but how can I call him when he always doing all this things to me .
Simple things he will try to insult me and when I show it to him that I know what I'm talking about he easily get irritated cos I will return a question to him cos I will share my simple knowledge that in the end he had no idea. I'd like to play sports and outdoor and I'd like to support what his passion at sports but he thinks that we're completion I don't really know what to do . When he said to me to go out any get someone to listen to me. I did that cos I got few choices and its killing him and talking shit to me I attempt so many times but he while try to make me feel sorry of I choose anyone of the . He is so mad at me lately cos I show all the proof the I was treated like a lady when I hanging out with someone and those guys is well trusted and I build my friends though I know they had an eye for me it's been years and he drive me crazy of of the guys can't stand me seeing me upset and pleasing me to stop thinking that guy until I've lost him and I feel his fulling away cos he can easily read me that no matter what his still my skin up . I don't know of I let this all past and move away I'm thinking on moving another state changing my everything cos he always telling me that I had no idea when I lay all my cards to him. Call me stupid but I feel his just need time but how long and it's we do have a lot s of issues and I never remember that we're together without any dramas and he is the one look an idiot. I'm so shallow no dignity no respect and loosing myself confident I just want to wake up and forget this all . I'm in pain silently scream here ..

You are honestly making me angry lol, but then again its your life and we arent living it, you are and the feelings are felt by you and not us.

Again, what have you decided to do? No point listening to all this other stuff that happened in the past, we are talking about NOW, TOMORROW...the future. You arent happy, WHY or WHO is the source for all this unhappiness? There's your answer there. Remove your source of discomfort and fuck feelings...yours and his. Its that simple, really.

Watercup, I'm an aqua right ? U know that I can easily break my words when I know it wasn't right I promised to you or to anyone this is all had to stop I'm not perfect but I know I have a lot of better things to do in life. One day he will realised he will never see a person like me his not my lost . I'm not easy to fall I only fall to his sad story. I'm not bad and I deserve someone better than him . In any case of his accusations against me . He totally a thick face no respect to his self and ungrateful person I again get a sign to cut him into my life. I want him to remember that he will not allow to my vicinity cos his like a snake I feed him and bite me. I help him and give my left and never contented. Far out sell the valuable stop to fly overseas and I'm paying his debt due his past relationship I wanna swear here. This people is shameless close case now . Thank to you guys

I will just point out one thing.

By definition you are loving a man who accuses you, abuses you, and looks down on you. Also by your definition you are understanding of his actions therefore you choose to love him even if he restricts what you feel life should be.

I don't know it seems like a lot of negatives to me, we can't tell you what to do but start having more conviction behind what you really feel about him otherwise you will be stuck in it forever.

Thats the spirit girl and I'm proud of you for taking a stand. In this life nobody is irreplaceable. And you are an aqua, dammit, you know better than to allow your heart to rule over your head. If something is not right then its not right...time to move on and heal later. I wish you all the best and I hope your healing process gains you back your self-respect and whatever else you lost in this relationship. Find your inner Ice Queen and all will be well because some people like to take advantage of other people's kindness and that should be a lesson to you. Never be anybody savior in life, especially your man. Every hardship is a lesson and one that should be learnt alone in order to really get it. Trying to "save" people does them no good because they learn nothing and playing Superman does you no good either because you're meddling in something that has nothing to do with you. Unnecessary headache, really.

On a totally separate and off topic note: WC I love you! totally see the pisces vs scorpio influences at work in this thread when it comes to advice haha!

+1 on what aquasnoz said.

Aww, aquasnoz, thanks. But you're better at these things than me, and your advice are always nod worthy on my side. You are one wise guy and I mean that from the depths of my heart.

Aquasnoz, I'm the person easily take all the hatred and madness to there's that's why they always think I'm damn and stupid bit if I see the big picture I know myself rather than anyone else's I may change my mind easily in some other decisions making but when it comes to healing and be hurt by others I'm a bit shallow I'm like a kid easily cry and once you comfort me and give candy I can easily settle down I know I can be mean and rude to others cos they know what I said against them was true and they couldn't believe that I can say those words after all this time I keep mouth shut. Usually a few friends of mine are totally cut to my life and that are in and out to me and I let them but they notice that everything has chance and had boundary and no more what if or may be and their the one can't stand the fact that I learnt to put my guard on to their stupidity. I actually going out with some other guy just for company and nothing more than anything else yes I know they had an eyes to me. And the cancer man who push my away cos I need to spend time with him get mad at me when he do it to me all the time and when I show those evidence and asking him and showing him o mighty leave cos I'm complete a lady deserve respect and they give to me the attention and affection that he hasn't show me at all. It's funny cos I'm very cool to him. It's him hiding everything but no secret will renaming secret especially not right or can ruined and ones life. I'm vertical upfront I said everything too him good or bad that's fine is rather here it rather than I found it for myself or hearing to anyone. I'm interest to the person and I have a passion to know his all not that I stalk him but to look after all the differences that we had . I shouldn't let myself to go further than this cos I don't deserve his action and words against me. But I still believe that he don't realised that I can do it all done and I know how stress how was if he receive all the notice but I was thinking to leave it all that. Karma will get back him he has a lot of issues being womaniser he was on a long distance relationship while his busy choosing lady's or flavour of the days. He can stand me cos I will never ever give up my standard to him no matter I how much I like him and he never respect my self value he knows there nothing he can to bit to wait and let me subside to his arrogant attribute. I never know how to talk properly always mad and no stop yelling and I truly copy him no good

I honestly notice that Aquarian or Aquarius had no problem to attract their opposite mostly on my family are Aquarian and yes we do good in everything I just noticed that most of the the lady's is not lucky to find there half but my younger sister is successful married to Taurus and happily married I just see the were both sweet and very affectionate we like to do something even small stuff to make the people matters to us to be happy. We both stay in long term and the second bf is Howe hubby now. I always click with libra we pretty much body and no commotion it's just in the end he couldn't show me the willingness to take responsibility and he leave everything in me but everything is perfect it's just complicated and the culture that we had is different and very scared to them. I most of the time I make friends with my opposite and no hidden agenda. I'm not gonna give anyone a first move just to know them I'm very much aloof and that's the way they get interested in the end they lose interest cos they realised I'm just a simple person no complication and I must be boring sometimes and then to play to others but they always come back . The only problem to me is I'm so slow and I stuck on my four wall that is before but now I learnt to take Ruskin knowing the people o used to past by and ignore but I have no rust and can't take anyone cos I need to make sure my focus is totally to the right track and not on the one way street full of rough road and non stop trials of nonsense person

@beme16 Beware of the famous Aqua charity case. That broken guy or girl we try to fix or help. Aquas seem to let thier projects do things that others would be dropped in a sec. Why? We hate to fail to see our efforts wasted so we endure thru. This hits our ego hard causing an emotional reaction. We suck at dealing with emotion in general so we can confuse it with love. So ask yourself if he is your project?

what are your placements, OP? and your cancer man's placements?

either way, w/o the placements, you two no matter the sign don't sound "in sync" with eachother.