VirGuy + AriGirl = Report??Over 4 Good?

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sikkario
@sikkario
15 Years

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I will briefly explain my relationship as a Virgo man with an Aries Girl over the past year.
I would like to keep this short, but it will probably be a little lengthy.
This is a first hand Virgo man report on the Aries woman.

Me:
Sun Virgo/Moon Libra/Mercury Virgo/Mars Capricorn
Her:
Sun Aries/Moon Aries/Mercury Taurus/Mars Cancer

This girl appeared into my life in a Math class. I was taking Calc and she was a girl 4 years younger than me in an advanced Math class at the CC. She would stare across the room at me, and I didn't know why. I had only spoken to her once, and joked with her briefly at a table and then never talked to her again for months. Not to be cold, I was just busy. I guess this worked and she developed a crush of some sort.
On the last day of class, I talked to her again, and she gave me her number to call her.
At the time I was deeply involved with religion, and had come off a heart break due to a girl with really bad morals. I wanted so badly to have a love that worked, but was out of hope. I talked to the Aries girl and we agreed to go to the mall. We went to the mall, and I applied a lot of the love I had pent up latently into her, I was very quiet however, opened doors and acted protective.
Apparently, this worked marvelously too. As she hugged me when I left and kissed my shoulder.
I found out her Parents were serious Christians, her extended family was messed up, and her Parents were super protective (She's 18).
Long story short, I ask her out, she is taken aback but then agrees 3 seconds later. I meet her Parents, they like me. I am committed to living a Christian relationship with this girl. We go out, practice celibacy for perhaps a month, but I lose my cool and start making out with her. Then I take her virginity. Good move, bad move. I don't know.
At the time, things were strained with the Catholic church for me, I was beginning to hate the hyprocrisy of the people, trhe political environment and just the way it made me feel in general. Something happened, where I just wanted to rebel against it. So I left the Church, she took me to Lutheran Church with her, after some thought I began claiming Agnosticism, after a painful loss of faith.
The main problems in the relationship then emerged;
On my part; my loss of faith made me more cynical and less hopeful than I had been, my —honesty?? offended her at times, I expected her to have sex whenever we hung out, and I was —angry?? at Christianity.
On he
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sikkario
@sikkario
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 194 · Topics: 60
On her part; she was (is) a raging hypochondriac, she was overly combative at times, she was super difficult sexually for no reason, and was dismayed at my loss of faith.
We would hang out and the main issues were me being a dumbass and not respecting her faith as much as I should. While she drove me nuts, because we??d go out, have fun, and then she??d refuse to have sex or during the act perform oral — for seemingly no reason other than to assert her authority.

This was more or less solved by me, toning down my Christianity rhetoric, and I assuming (somewhat correctly) that the reasons he wasn't giving it up was that Aries girl doesn't just want to be —play-dominated?? she actually wants to be dominated by her man.
There were good results to a degree. Once sex resumed everything else was eased. She was happier, and I was happier. Everytime we had sex, it was incredible. I??ve had sex with many different signs. The sex I had with a Pisces girl was probably the most —textbook?? diverse and thorough sex of any, we had no boundaries??_however it was nothing in comparison to that of the Aries girl. She is the only Sign of girl I??ve made love to, who would stare you back in the eyes the entire time without flinching. The bravery and vigor of an Aries woman is something you don't appreciate until you make her surrender in bed. She had been a virgin, but she knew she liked the way I had sex with her. She told me that she admired how I could be strong enough to break her irrational refusals, without getting angry or hurting her. Virgos catch on quick. 🙂
While the sex was good, orally it was always lacking, and I took this as somewhat a snub. I treated her very well, and yet I always had to bend her arm back for her to give me oral. At times I gave her oral and she refused to give me oral. I felt this is a great disrespect.
I think this is where, the relationship took a downturn, I learned from her that what she wanted was me to be rough and commanding with her. When I learned that, I applied it to many things. In the case of oral, my ego was hurt, so I would bark at her to do it, and she would surrender and do it. I absolutely hated doing this, but I did not understand why she was basically incapable of being —giving.?? I had never encountered anything like this before. My machismo would not allow me to have a relationship with a girl who would not —go down?? on me, as for me this is a sign of respect, especially considering I d
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sikkario
@sikkario
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 194 · Topics: 60
, especially considering I did so for her.

Looking back probably the most major issue that was on-going was the hypochondria. I think it has to do with her Mars in Cancer but she also had some trauma in early childhood. When she was 8 her sister died of a blood disease and the AriGirl witnessed her dying. Her whole childhood revolved an severely ill sister in constant fear of death. I think this damaged AriGirl??s psyche as when I was with her, she had illnesses ranging from the believable to the absolutely dubious. She claimed to have gluten intolerance for one, which was believable, further than that though, she told me she had everything from eczyma, —pre-diabetes??, anoemitriosis, depression, latent schizophrenia, ADHD, and asperger??s syndrome. If you met this girl, you??d think she were a totally normal human being, but she was fascinated with illness, and was also extremely concerned with it. As far as I could see she was 100% healthy normal person, she just had a gluten aversion.
I started dating her in the winter, and during the Winter, I go from a Virgo to a drunken amiable Taurus??_because of that, I could have cared less what she said. Come Spring I got far more into my fitness, academics, career.
This is really what conspired to ruin our relationship. About Spring or so I was full wrapped into my life and ambitions. When I spent time with her, it seemed like she —cried wolf?? over and over again. I learned to not take her seriously. An example might be; I offer to take her to a Bolivian restaurant (I am Bolivian), she refuses, I ask why, she brandishes no reasonable answer other than a stubborn refusal, I get pissed??_we go to restaurant she wants to go to, on way home she tells me her anoemitriosis is setting off her ADHD which is causing her pre-diabetes to go into overload. If, I choose not to say why that makes no sense she will use it as some huge Berlin wall to disable us having sex, if I don't, then she will start crying.
It was a little too late before I learned that the Aries girl gets very frightened and nervous, that the reason for all her irrational protests are just because it is her gut reaction to go to war when she is afraid. She would refuse to go to a Bolivian restaurant per se, because it intimidated her in some way, refuse to have sex because she didn't want to let me down??_etcetera. A weird vicious cycle these girls inhabit.

It wasn't all bad tho, we had incredible chemistry throughout our relation
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sikkario
@sikkario
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 194 · Topics: 60
It wasn't all bad tho, we had incredible chemistry throughout our relationship, aside from the whole —hypochondria?? thing, at times I didn't really mind bickering with her, I never felt manlier in my life. I recall her refusing to go out, after some perceived slight, and her stubbornly refusing by laying on her bed, when I came over she tried to push me away with herg leg, at which point I grabbed her legs and spanked her. 15 minutes later we were laughing about it and kissing eachother. Being with an Aries girl made me feel like some 1920s New York Italian dealing with an unruly but beautiful girlfriend — it was romantic.
She also never once, withheld a drop of love from me. I especially remember the only two times, I became ill when we were together. Once, I became silently depressed, it was quite obvious and said nothing about it, but she did everything to nurse me out of it. Another time, I got food poisoning, was nearly having seizures, and she was by my side nursing me the whole time. Without asking for it at all.
I was always there for her (when I was there), when her confidence was broken for whatever reason, I would hold her and try to rebuff her confidence. When she had her —gluten induced?? stomach aches, I would hold her and bring her water and what-not.
Unfortunately, the relationship fell apart around July. In May, my Brother starting have a PTSD induced nervous breakdown (he's a federal agent in Iraq). He attempted to take his own life, and I was completely stunned. He could have lost his job and his income, all sorts of bad stuff was happening. I had to support him over the phone and it was grand stressor in my life. At the same time, she began complaining about her heart, I disregarded it because as I told you, she claimed to have every illness known to man. She got on a heart monitor fro the Doctor, and they were to monitor it for 2 months. During this time she would not have sex, because she was afraid it would make her heart beat too fast or something. I didn't buy it, she had told me she had every illness known to man before, so I was inoculated to this. The sexual aspect of our relationship disappeared, and I acted less than prickish but still not the best, because it seemed to me this was another farce.
Well it turns out she had a legitimate heart illness, some sort of irregular beat, that would go up to 160bpm only since recently. She had to get some sort of vein shock, to go straight to the heart. I tried to
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sikkario
@sikkario
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 194 · Topics: 60
. I tried to be there for her, but I was just emotionally sapped from my Brother and now her. It was further muddled by the fact that, I had signed up for 18 credit hours over the Summer to try to bury myself in work in order to escape a lot of the pain and fear I was going through because of my Brother.
She needed me, I was only half there for her, and I did a less than good job at supporting her through it. I didn't have the time, the patience, or the emotional ability to really envelop myself. We got through it, but I distanced myself and grew cold to everyone around me. I felt like I was going to drown in emotions and closed myself off from everyone around me. We also hadn't had sex for 3 months by the tension relief valve between she and I had not been released for some time. We got in a minor quarrel and I said we need to go on break cuz I just couldn't maintain the relationship at the time.
During our break, I hit some financial problems so didn't come back for 2 months or so, her Mom started hating me, and by the time I came back for her, they were adamant about me not being in her life. She and I want to be together her Parents are insanely opposed to it. Further, our ambitions and life style s are totally different. I am a globe trotter, and she won't even go to a Bolivian restaurant in her own town. She also never got over the hypochondria thing, and I will never be Christian again.
When I saw her again, she burst in tears and cried to tell me how much she missed me. She cried to tell me how much she loved me, and I had maybe a tear escape as well. However, I feel like it is unfair of me to try and love her, if it were not meant to be. Further, she has new heart problems that came back in August (legitimate), so rapid heart fluctuations are very bad for her. In pitting her against her Parents or doing our own emotional exchanges, I feel that I put her at great risk of injury.
So what do you all think? Should I let this poor girl be? If I love her should I let her go?
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Mistery
@Mistery
18 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 995 · Topics: 34
This just seems to be a sexual thing for you. I don't see where the love is here. She has too many physical ailments to be what you'd like her to be. Something held her back (moon in Aries has a strong philosophical/ religious ties) from giving 100% of herself to you and was right in the end as it all seems to be about you.
I don't know how bad her condition is but it won't help having a man in her life that doesn't agree with her beliefs and wants to make her do things she doesn't want to do. That puts undue stress on her.
It shouldn't be attributed to an Aries characteristic. She's out of the norm, due to her health concerns. I'm an Aries sun & moon and would love to do new and interesting things (like go to a Bolivian restaurant) but this girl has serious health issues. She will never be what you want so the best thing to do is be her friend or drop out of her life.
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sikkario
@sikkario
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 194 · Topics: 60
@Mistery- Yes, sexuality is an important thing for me. It is an expression of loyalty,and feelings.
If I feel my girlfriend is withholding sex from me, it deeply hurts me because it makes me think she does not trust me.
Are you saying she was withholding sex from me because she was unsure of my motives, and didn't want to give herself to me?
Or are you saying that she was withholding herself in some other way?

--
I was not selfish in the relationship, if she wanted to go to a movie or a go out to eat, she almost always got to choose and I 99% of the time paid. She showed little or no regard for my wants in desires in these aspects.

I suppose I became more selfish as time went on as I realize she was not a suitable long term mate, so I became solely interested in the carnal aspect of the relatoinship.

The sad fact however was, my instinctual bond to her never subsided and even tho a long term bond seemed hard or even impossible...

That yearning in my heart for her gaze, and the feeling of her in my arms never subsided.

I do still yearn to make love to her, but my want of her is not solely predicated on that.

At this point, I could be with her, without making love to her for sometime. At least I think so.
Intimacy is necessary for me tho, it's like water. I am highly tactile and affectionate, I always grab and hold my girlfriend to tell her I love her.

Words don't make the connection as well.
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heroic_guy
@heroic_guy
15 Years500+ PostsAries

Comments: 0 · Posts: 569 · Topics: 7

Your desire to fuc_k her, seems like a dealbreaker for you and you should break up with her if you value that so much that you feel it is so unfair you can't have sex with her at this time. If I dated someone in her situation I would be proud to have ever survived it (given the parents don't like you etc.)

If you like her, then like her enough to ask her what she wants to do about her heart condition, her life etc. If you two only want to be with each other to be lovebirds, that is cute and all, but right now she needs her own job, life, home, etc, and that is something everyone needs regardless of a relationship.

Right now, she needs to do what is right for herself, and you have things you want to figure out for yourself.

Become friends with her in your mind. Know that you can keep in contact over the next 5 or so years. Don't feel like you are breaking up forever and that this is the end of the world.