Are you a female who emasculates

your S/O? If so, why?

I have an Aqua male best-friend and his Cancer G/F emasculates him often (even in front of company). When I witness it all I could do is cringe inside. He is very passive aggressive sometimes (he frustrates her to no end on purpose) and then other times he throws her a curved-ball and blows her mind (his verbal attacks are in-your-face, swift, blunt, and very harsh - she never sees them coming & doesn't know what hit her yet she doesn't learn to stop messing with him). When he is done with her she is in tears and he follows her to watch her cry and to taunt her most times saying "Don't be a punk bitch. How are you trying to be a gangster one minute and crying the next?" (she usually runs into the bathroom to cry after he has tongue lashed her up one side and down the other). My friend is highly intelligent, emotionally detached, logical, soft-spoken, wirey/slight build, boyish looks, and wears perscription eyeglasses. Besides his appearance he has done nothing to give her the impression that he could be handled - Perhaps she let the eyeglasses and his smooth look fool her LOL.

I try not to interfere unless he/she asks me my opinion and then I say the same thing as usual - "You both need to stop".

If you are a male who has a domineering S/O - how do you cope with her short of kicking her to the curb?

Yeah, I don't want a man that would lie down and let me walk all over him (but he'd better know when to compromise).

I don't want a man who would attempt to run me either (he could make his wishes known and if it's beneficial to us both - then I would oblige him all day long)

My friend is aware that his rlshp is rocky but he doesn't leave - I think he thinks she will improve in that department?

Gosh! That's harsh and cowardly for him to do that. I bet he won't speak to another dude that way.

Posted by Shaks
Trust me, they'll probably stay together for much longer than any other of your friends. What you described is usually the dynamics between aqua males and cancer female pairings, aquas are closet drama queens who are secretly turned on by the over emotional behaviour of the cancer girl, the cancer girl at the same time is intrigued by the aqua males apparent aloofness, lack of sensitivity and his bullshit-telling-abilities (cancer girls are naive enough to fall for that trick aqua guys can pull so well)

Its a fatal attraction.

Shaks, seems like your description hit the nail on the head. I don't understand their relationship and they are going on 3 years...

Posted by The-Dream
Gosh! That's harsh and cowardly for him to do that. I bet he won't speak to another dude that way.

If they were to get his time wrong - he most definitely would. However, most men he interacts with on a daily basis are not disrepectful to him.

there are some dude who prefer to let the lady run the show and they are more than happy taking the back seat and going with the flow. my parents are a terrific example because my mom (a sagittarius) is a mover and a shaker and she's quite demanding. my dad (a libra) is really easy going and he's fine doing whatever. he doesn't have the same drive as my mom but he likes being useful in any way he can (so basically whatever she tells him to do). i don't have any less respect for him because he's the kind of person she needs

Wow that is messed up.
It actually sounds like you quite admire his ability to lash someone "up one side and down the other" as you put it. The way you write about sounds like you think its quite a talent.
Personally I think they're both messed up. I am a cancer so I know that crying is sort of a reaction but most of my chart is gem/saggi. The cancer placements are strong but they're more of a shell - I cry when I'm upset and quite easily but it's an outward reaction. inside I'm cold/logical gemini and I don't feel anything - I just can't control what my body is doing for some reason.

Seriously this is a messy relationship though. Him going to watch her cry and taunt her further is quite abusive and shows him to be quite controlling in my opinion - Like he likes feeling superior in those times.

You didn't really give much detail of how she emasculates him but neither of their actions are cool. I don't get relationships like that. I don't like being dominering and controlling someone - I want someone who can take care of themselves, someone I can respect so I don't need to do that. I also feel I understand that some things should be kept behind closed doors - hanging out with friends is not the place to argue and cry. i hope I have more dignity than that. All the gem/sag/aries makes me want my freedom too and my space

Posted by Shaks
cancerkitten, youre such a sag wannabe..admit it now 😛

I have Sag rising. I think I am. I particularly like a good sag moon - those guys are the best

Sounds like you adore men who treat women this way .. and so this will come to you.


In this thread you have attempted to draw a picture of how horrible of a person this woman is for what she does to MAKE this man treat her this way ... when in reality, he has always had the option to leave, rather than treat her like shit.


But, we aren't suppose to notice that he's an asshole ... we are only suppose to notice that he is being forced into it, and how terrible she is for making him.



And you obviously adore his qualities .... the energy from this admiration will come to you, you will have one of your own one day.

Hey Guys,

I was talking to my friend again about his G/F and her tendancy to emasculate him. He shared with me that her father passed away when she was just a little girl, that her mother wasn't a constant in her life, and that she was raised by an abusive (mentally, emotionally, and physically) Granny (who was very, very domineering). Now I wonder if she is just doing what she has learned from childhood— My own mother is very strong-willed, over-protective, and domineering - but I don't attempt to emasculate the man in my life. So, I don't know.

I think because my friend did not nip it in the bud when she first disrespected him she may have mistakingly believed it was ok despite his recent objections/behaviour - which is why she keeps doing it. Once I had an hour and 1/2 long conversation with her and I pointed out some of her behaviour but she didn't own it - only deflected it back on my friend. I think she wanted me to side with her in hindsight but I remained neutral like always.

Shaks, I also think you are right about him not leaving and here's why - About 2.5 months ago my friend told me that he was moving out of their home in August. In those 2.5 months he constantly mentioned moving out and on. We are now in August and I haven't heard a peep. So, now I think he will be staying.

Oh, they have a son together and my friend is worried scared. He says that if he moves out that he fears she will emasculate his son since he won't be around all the time to counteract things. I pray for them all three of them (especially the child).

Although she has disrespected my friend in front of me & and others (mostly his male friends and her female friends who side with my male best friend)- I have also been around (to dinner, at their home, at his parent's home) and witnessed the tenderness they give one another - totally contradicting the craziness they put each other through. When they are good to each other they are funny, warm, and like two peas in a pod - go figure!

hell no! i could never respect a man, that's my S/O, who would act as my personal doormat. that's so unattractive!

i actually have a friend who is in a similar situation. he's so whipped it's, well, pathetic. i went out with him to a live music show the other night (with a group of others) and he literally sat texting her most of the night because she was trying to control him. it's like he had to "check in" with her like she was his freaking mother. i took his phone away and didn't give it back til the performance was over. he's very co-dependent on others to serve as his strength which is why i think he likes me as a friend. it's hard for me to watch though. i don't usually interfere either, cuz it's not my place, but that was bullshit. not to mention that i had a few drinks to make it easier...

Posted by ninjamu
hell no! i could never respect a man, that's my S/O, who would act as my personal doormat. that's so unattractive!

i actually have a friend who is in a similar situation. he's so whipped it's, well, pathetic. i went out with him to a live music show the other night (with a group of others) and he literally sat texting her most of the night because she was trying to control him. it's like he had to "check in" with her like she was his freaking mother. i took his phone away and didn't give it back til the performance was over. he's very co-dependent on others to serve as his strength which is why i think he likes me as a friend. it's hard for me to watch though. i don't usually interfere either, cuz it's not my place, but that was bullshit. not to mention that i had a few drinks to make it easier...

@Ninjamu,
How did he explain him not replying to her text msgs when you took his phone?

Librasrule36 can you give some examples of how she emasculates him? because it's a little vague to me.