Cancer & Capricorn - Recipe for Disaster?!

Hi all,

New to the forums and was hoping someone with a bit more astrology knowledge would be able to help me! I have read that a capricorn and cancer pairing could either go amazingly well or horribly wrong..

I am a cancer female and have been with my capricorn boyfriend Sam, for just over 18 months now. Now I will mention that I am an extremely insecure person with a low self esteem, this has spurted from previous life experiences, bad relationships and so on - this combined with my naturally shy personality can often result in very depressive and weepy moods. My cap boyfriend was once a lovely, affectionate partner who admired me constantly which I adored and lapped up! But suddenly, at the start of this year - things changed between us. The fact we saw alot of each other made Sam feel suffocated, he was also finding it hard to deal with my "neediness", insecurity and my sudden mood changes. To cut a long story short, we argued alot at the start of this year and ended up having a very brief split. By now, my confidence in our relationship was rock bottom, and it felt like something inside of me had clicked and I had gone from being insecure and worried to an almost crazy, psychotic cancer female craving attention more than normal, and taking every little set back as a major rejection. Trying to get him to tell me how he feels has been like trying to get blood from a stone, but I have finally managed to get him to open up to me a little. We have had long, deep discussions about how we both feel. I have explained to him that because he has stopped being the way he once was, i.e - loving and affectionate, it's making me feel more insecure about us. But he is arguing that he now finds it hard to be like that now because of my moods. It is a vicious circle.

We have agreed to see less of each other so he can have his space, but the thing that is bothering me is that he still refuses to show me any emotion, he wont pay me compliments anymore, the nice text messages are still non existent - despite telling him that I need that sort of stuff to feel loved and wanted. He has assured me that he does still love me but I cant understand why he wont show it anymore. I am trying to change who I am, but i feel like it's all one sided. Im putting all my effort into the relationship, but he's withdrawing more and more.

Is it over for us? :-\

I don't know if it's over, but maybe it should be, at-least temporarily, until you get yourself together. Your self-esteem, and confidence seems to be dependent on him, and that's not healthy on either part. It's making you feel insecure when he doesn't give, and probably making him feel responsible for your moods/feelings and obligated. Sounds draining.

I think you should take a step back and really try to work on you. He can't fix you, only you can. Even if the two of you are over, and you start dating someone else, you'll most likely run into the same problems until you get yourself to where you need to be. Just take some time off so you can be happy with yourself and happy with someone else. I wish you luck.

I think Inana is right. Caps aren't good with needy and emotions. I love Cancers, but I do think they want more from me than I am comfortable with giving. I have dated four and three were good relationships, but obviously, we didn't work out long term. They always want more and more time and constantly need reassurance. I mean, don't my actions speak loud enough?

Try to find some new activities and get really busy. Don't beat yourself up. Don't harp on it. All men like confident people. They don't want to feel responsible for your happiness - that can only come from within you! When you get your own life together and learn to be fine by yourself, you might have a chance with him. First you have to like yourself, so take this as an opportunity to get to know yourself! Once you learn to like yourself and you move with confidence, you will be surprised at the men that come out of the woodwork!

Hope this helps.

Thank you for the replies 🙂

I know what i've got to do, it's just really hard. I've read that capricorn's are secret romantics, and i know he can be when he wants to be - I just miss those little things he used to do for me.

We have both agreed that neither of us want to end the relationship. I am absolutley head over heels in love with him and want to tell him how i feel everyday, im always looking over at him when we're watching TV or something with dreamy eyes, and it just annoys me that he's so laid back. If you love someone, surely you'd want to show it? I guess I just have to accept that that's the way he is and try and get over my insecurities.