Hot and Cold Scorpio Sun

Hi everyone! I'm having a really hard time understanding this Scorpio man. This will be somewhat long so I do apologize in advance. We met online back in December... talked via phone/text nearly everyday and then I disappeared on him. No legitimate reason, I just stop talking to people at times. Anywho, he sent me one final message (email) after my disappearance saying he will no longer contact me since I hadnt responded to him. He stuck to his guns up until Christmas where he said: "OK I lied - I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas." I thought that was so cute so we started talking again.... this time more intensely. We had two big fights before even meeting in person. LOL! We both couldn't understand how we barely knew each other yet fought like only lovers could. Anyways - we finally meet in person and it is electric. He kept touching me, wanting to hug me (and I him) it was just great. I reframed from kissing him. That same night he sent me a plethora of messages and I was in awe. Fast foward to today... we've seen each other in person less than 20 times. He's a really busy man but always seemed to make a bit of time for me when we first started talking. I haven't seen him in person since Feb. 26th. We haven't been physically intimate and he assured me he wasn't looking for "just a roll in the hay." here lies my problem. He went from being devastatingly annoying in the beginning... to being somewhat more reserved with his interactions with me since Feb. 26th. We went a week without communicating last week and he sends me a text saying he couldn't manage to get away from work. I respond back to it - he disappears. Two days later he texts me saying: "Thinking of you." etc... so that's basically all of our conversations for the last two going on three weeks. Him disappearing and randomly texting me or emailing me "Thinking of you." but when I respond with something equally warming, he responds back with something of no substance, or not at all.

I'm really at a point where I'm feeling more and more confident with just breaking things off with him. I have a lot of Scorpio in my birth chart, but this sort of inconsistency is childish. He's also an older Scorpio man who I would think is evolved.

Also to mention - he told me he loved me and was in love with me only after about three weeks of knowing each other. Mid Feb he told me he loved me more than ever.

I'm really having a hard time understanding this man. He's also shared with me that he finds me hard to read and that I'm a hard one to figure out.

Can someone help me? advice would be so greatly appreciated.

Posted by Impulsv
So what did I say after he told u he loved u. Ur reaction post or neg , neutral. He might be pulling way way back.

I told him I loved him too. I really meant it.

Posted by VirgowScorpiMoon
Sounds inconsistent to me. When Scorpio men " actually " love someone they will get obsessive and not disappear randomly. If he can find the time before, then why not now? Words don't mean anything, actions do.

That's exactly what I said - about the time. Granted we did meet when it was the holiday season so there was time off work... but again... at one point in January we saw each other 4x in one week. After we did that he said he should cool down - but he was still consistent with his communication. Checking in on me - wanting to talk on the phone, having actual conversations with me. Every since Feb. 26th he's just be so inconsistent. I just can't understand how he can go from saying he's in love with me to being so nonchalant.

Posted by VirgowScorpiMoon
4x a week isn't unusual for a relationship just starting out. How long have u been dating? Maybe the initial infatuation is slowing down.

That's the thing, we aren't dating. We are just friends but there's obviously something more there with us. I'm just confused as to how suddenly things changed when things were going so well and he assured me that I was wonderful. Last week when he didn't reach out to me during the week I told myself "This is his way of moving on, and I'm fine with it." I didn't initiate conversation with him and he sent me a texting saying "As the week war on I hoped I could propose a time to see you this afternoon but alas, was not meant to be. I'm thinking about you." I responded back with "You're quite alright Batman, I'm just happy to hear you wanted to see me." That was Friday night. Tonight I get a text saying "Thinking of you." and I say "Ive been thinking of you a lot." then he responds back with: "And? Ive been wondering what you've been thinking Bella." I told him and I get nothing else from him! I let him know that I miss him when he does contact me and still, he's not proposing a time when we can see each other again. A part of me feels like he's playing a mind game on me and another part feels like he's genuinely just not interested anymore. But if he's not interested, why bother reaching out after allowing a week to go by with no contact.

I will add I feel like he's playing a mind game on me to get me mad. For some reason he gets turned on when we fight even though we haven't been intimate. Funny enough the reason why we haven't been intimate is because I don't trust him and with him pulling these stunts I can't see myself going there now.

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by sirks

Posted by Impulsv
So what did I say after he told u he loved u. Ur reaction post or neg , neutral. He might be pulling way way back.

I told him I loved him too. I really meant it.

What is your sign?

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I am a libra sun.
Pisces Moon.
Scorp in Mars
Scorp Rising
Scorp Venus

When people do too much hot and cold it means you are already at conjuction or having a hard time with communication and a connection. It doesn't always have to be physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, connection what ever it is that works for you guys together is a good thing.

@Op -This isn't a good thing. If it's just physical then it will just be flings going on and nothing too much of security or stability. You can go through infatuation phase alot in life. So if you get a person who gives you butterflies then see what's up with them by becoming friends and see if this is a friend you want in your life, and ask questions to make sure you are asking important types of questions so you don't waste time with non sense.. nowadays I strongly recommend asking stuff pertaining to you, yourself only. Then see if it meshes well with the other person. Yes everyone has red flags and everyone has compromise in their bloodstream, so talk, be honest, don't have sex, after 3 months you should know about each other and see what's up

Posted by scorpx3

Posted by VirgowScorpiMoon
Sounds inconsistent to me. When Scorpio men " actually " love someone they will get obsessive and not disappear randomly. If he can find the time before, then why not now? Words don't mean anything, actions do.

This.

+1

I understand people get busy and all, but no one is that busy that they can go weeks at a time without talking. That's simply neglect. I thought a lot about this, since my bull and I were actually going through something, but I can only conclude there's no excuse for behavior like that. It's simply neglect.

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You are so undoubtly correct. I don't believe in "too busy." maybe I'm just a different kind of person but if I'm trying to develop something with someone on a personal level - I'll never be too busy to shoot off a 20 second text.

I'm at a point where I am done with this man. After deliberately ignoring me last night after only 3-4 text messages that HE initiated, I just simply have no time for this. I feel as though I will constantly wonder why he was so hot with me, and then suddenly distant. I promised myself this morning that I will not respond to anything he may ever send again.

I would think with him being 50 he would be quite evolved. In person he is so damn attentive and loving... he was even that way via text... and now nothing. I know for a fact that I've done nothing wrong. This entire experience has just been one giant mind f*ck ©

Posted by VirgowScorpiMoon

Posted by sirks

Posted by VirgowScorpiMoon
4x a week isn't unusual for a relationship just starting out. How long have u been dating? Maybe the initial infatuation is slowing down.

That's the thing, we aren't dating. We are just friends but there's obviously something more there with us. I'm just confused as to how suddenly things changed when things were going so well and he assured me that I was wonderful. Last week when he didn't reach out to me during the week I told myself "This is his way of moving on, and I'm fine with it." I didn't initiate conversation with him and he sent me a texting saying "As the week war on I hoped I could propose a time to see you this afternoon but alas, was not meant to be. I'm thinking about you." I responded back with "You're quite alright Batman, I'm just happy to hear you wanted to see me." That was Friday night. Tonight I get a text saying "Thinking of you." and I say "Ive been thinking of you a lot." then he responds back with: "And? Ive been wondering what you've been thinking Bella." I told him and I get nothing else from him! I let him know that I miss him when he does contact me and still, he's not proposing a time when we can see each other again. A part of me feels like he's playing a mind game on me and another part feels like he's genuinely just not interested anymore. But if he's not interested, why bother reaching out after allowing a week to go by with no contact.

I will add I feel like he's playing a mind game on me to get me mad. For some reason he gets turned on when we fight even though we haven't been intimate. Funny enough the reason why we haven't been intimate is because I don't trust him and with him pulling these stunts I can't see myself going there now.

A guy will tell you what he thinks of you but how he REALLY feels about you can be totally different and reflected on his actions. Please differentiate the two otherwise you'll be confused for a longgg time. Scorpios love drama (fighting). Yes they get turned on. One Scorpio guy that was after me told me " he loves bitchy girls ". Not a good thing. Also I would know because my sister's bf can't seem to get enough of her even though they fight at least 3 times a week. Anyways, disregard that he's a Scorpio. Does your gut feeling tell you it's normal for a guy to pull back after you express your feelings? Is that a guy you really want to end up with? One that just ignores you and plays games? I think you're caught up in the fact that he's hard to get right now. You're smart in not getting intimate with him. And you should not ever... RED FLAGS everywhere.

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I'm discovering this now... well at least o

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
When people do too much hot and cold it means you are already at conjuction or having a hard time with communication and a connection. It doesn't always have to be physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, connection what ever it is that works for you guys together is a good thing.

Can you elaborate please? I'm still very new to astrology so please pardon my ignorance.

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by sirks

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by sirks

Posted by Impulsv
So what did I say after he told u he loved u. Ur reaction post or neg , neutral. He might be pulling way way back.

I told him I loved him too. I really meant it.

What is your sign?

I am a libra sun.
Pisces Moon.
Scorp in Mars
Scorp Rising
Scorp Venus

Maybe you are too aggressive for him.

I'm not sure why. Just my intuition talking.

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I'm not aggressive in my romantic life at all. I also don't chase men. Sure I want to if they catch my interest, but I have way too much pride and fear of being rejected to do that.

So sorry about my other message! I somehow managed to hit "Post Message" before finishing off my response!

As I started to say in my other post - over the weekend I realized that if he truly loved me and was in love with me as much as he says he is, then this behaviour is inexcusable.

My gut feeling tells me he's no longer interested. If that's the case, wonderful! but what's baffling me is the fact that he reached out after allowing a week to lapse with NO contact and then sending a message as if everything was normal. I believe the week prior to last we had limited contact - again he sent me two texts both saying: "You're in my thoughts, Bella." and "I'm thinking of you." like why even bother reaching out if you're not going to have an actual conversation with me.

I don't want to label him as childish but this behaviour certainly is. We both agreed IN PERSON that if one of us were moving on, we would tell the other person explicitly. I believed him... I still believe he'd do that. He's brutally honest so a part of me has been waiting on that final email from him. Another thing... the last time we fought via text, he made time to see me... we saw each other for four hours that night. Before we agreed to see each other after our fight, we both said it was over. I said I couldn't deal with him any longer and he said I think you're right. Lets just part ways. There was obviously more said than that and more intensely... Anyways! he cleared up some time to meet with me after our fight and he told me: "That wouldn't have been the last time you heard from me. I would've waited 24hrs and then I would've tried to reach out to you." For some reason I thought that was so flattering! I of course reached out to him first because I was in the wrong that time. This man is so damn confusing. A part of me is glad we haven't seen each other a lot or have been intimate - I feel as though I'd be out of my mind at this point. Right now I'm about 40% out of my mind lol

I wish you enough strength to cut him off a.s.a.p
Think of red flags ONLY! Forget 'Bella'...just red flags.
How many? Worth it?

BTW no one asked how old are you? Or I had missed it?

Posted by Gemitati
I wish you enough strength to cut him off a.s.a.p
Think of red flags ONLY! Forget 'Bella'...just red flags.
How many? Worth it?

BTW no one asked how old are you? Or I had missed it?

Thank you friend. I am reframing from any contact with him. You're correct, no one asked my age. I'm a bit young. 26.

Posted by sirks

Posted by Gemitati
I wish you enough strength to cut him off a.s.a.p
Think of red flags ONLY! Forget 'Bella'...just red flags.
How many? Worth it?

BTW no one asked how old are you? Or I had missed it?

Thank you friend. I am reframing from any contact with him. You're correct, no one asked my age. I'm a bit young. 26.

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There could be a thing! He is intelligent enough to understand 24 years difference isn't going to
work on the long run. Ask him straight up or better just forget him. I know it is hard. Just do it. Good luck.

Ugh... he just sent me a message saying he misses me. I ignored it but damn do I miss him.

After carefully reading your Post. and all The replies As a scorpio Myself(female though) i will say The Age difference is his reason For withdrawing.He thinks you Are too young For Him and might end Up hurting Him,But he cant get rid of The feelings he Has For you.

Another reason might be he doesnt want To hurt you Cos another reason might be that there's someone else.why Not discuss with Him instead of ignoring his messages?ask Him y he's been off and On.

Secondly maybe he doesnt want To hurt you Cos another reason might be that there's someone else.why Not discuss with Him instead of ignoring his messages?ask Him y he's been off and On.

Posted by VirgowScorpiMoon

Posted by sirks
Ugh... he just sent me a message saying he misses me. I ignored it but damn do I miss him.

The other person who said he's withdrawing because of the age difference is very subjective. Consider the fact that when he texts you, you've always answered reassuring him of your feelings and met with disappearances. Women have to stop going for men that need " FIXING". A good relationship isn't supposed to suck the happiness out of you with guessing games ok?

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Well in the beginning we both said we just want to enjoy the others company. No pressure, no expectations. However the way he was moving - I was bound to develop feelings. One night we were together he said he'd wait 10 years for me to make up my mind and decide what I want with him. His exact words were: "If we only happen to stay platonic friends then I'm more than OK with that because I really do enjoy absorbing you." I haven't intentionally ignore him since that first time he tried reaching out to me (I was initially put off with how persistent he was when I showed no interest)

I only decided to ignore his latest text because there's really no point in saying anything... unless we're together in person - a lot of our communication is somewhat butchered causing more problems. I miss him a lot - but my gut feeling is telling me he's seeing someone else, so I'm backing off. It really makes ZERO sense that we haven't seen each other in over three weeks and have had limited, to no contact whatsoever. He doesn't even seem sad about it. He's nonchalant about it. At one point in the beginning he sent me texts and emails saying he was sad and shocked he hadn't heard from me for ONE day,

Go with your Gut feeling its either he's Seeing someone else Or The Age thing is bothering Him.The way he's handling The whole thing and his behavior is annoying....really annoying .since you say there's no Point saying anything since you have Not Seen Face To Face I respect that Cos At The end of The day It still boils Down To what you want,not what anyone says .Ignore Him For a while and what happens.

@Udylaw: I'm starting to think it may be the age thing as well myself. I remember when we first met he said he was hesitant to reach out to me due to my age but felt compelled to do it anyway. I really believe he'd just tell me this isn't working out if he's seeing someone else. He's a very honest man in that way. The only time he's ever actually ignored me ignored me was when he was "dealing with" his feelings. I hadn't heard from him in a little over 24 hours and he apologized and said he was dealing with his feelings towards me and proposed a meet that same day. Later that evening he went on and on and on about how much he missed me and how much he wanted to provide for me, etc... started asking me questions about how I'd feel about what people would think considering our age difference. But again after that, still consistent. Something really changed for him Feb. 26th and I think he's not seeing me on purpose so his feelings won't intensify. It's a cowards move, but at least with that I don't think he's a bastard now lol but again - he could also be seeing someone else. Not sure.

Has he ever been married? And what does he say about his past relationships? Any kids? Just curious, knowing his past might help out as to, if this is a pattern for him. I believe in love at all ages but your age gap is considerable and I wonder if this is his "thing" ya know? Not trying to be a negative Nellie, it just seems he's already raising some red flags for you.

Posted by TaurusinTexas
Has he ever been married? And what does he say about his past relationships? Any kids? Just curious, knowing his past might help out as to, if this is a pattern for him. I believe in love at all ages but your age gap is considerable and I wonder if this is his "thing" ya know? Not trying to be a negative Nellie, it just seems he's already raising some red flags for you.

Yes he's been married. He married young and is now divorced. He has one daughter who is in her early twenties I believe. He did share with me that he was often unfaithful to his wife. It didn't take long for him to cheat on her. He said he had about 4 long term affairs and out of the four he loved 2. Said he couldn't be intimate with someone unless he really cares about them or loved them. I know he sounds like a son of a bitch... I even said that to him lol he never shared any stories of heartbreak with me... but did say a lot of the women he's met throughout his life were very jaded.

UPDATE: I saw Scorpio Man. He asked if I could meet him (it was very short notice) I said yes. We saw each other for about 30 minutes. We didn't get into everything since he was pressed for time. He told me he was "going through some things." Didn't say what things to be exact. He told me he wants to see me again and for a longer time so he can explain he sudden 20 day distance. He kept telling me how beautiful I was, and he did explain in short detail as to why he didn't respond to a few of my texts.

I told him I was sure he was done and moving on, he responded back with: "Bella, I've told you already I would never leave things like that. I will tell you if or when that time comes. So you can put that out of your mind now." I kept that in the back of my head and it was nice to know he still felt the same in regards to how he'd always be upfront about that in particular.

Im happy - and playing it by ear.