Oh, Scorpio, how you confuse me. Help please?

I've known this Scorpio man for seven or eight months now, and about a month ago, he popped up with a proposition for FWB out of the blue. I didn't even think he was serious. We work together in a professional capacity, so that's just how I had always viewed him.

Then the texts followed by the phone call when I asked if he was serious, immediately followed with pretty aggressive pursuit had me reeling. We talked, and it was this guy who said all he was wanting was something without complications, and he was certain it could be really good between us. Judge if you may, but he has a long distance girlfriend whom he doesn't see often enough, and even after seven years of being together, he can't even imagine them being married. I was okay with that for a few reasons, mostly my complete fear of commitment after an abusive marriage that I narrowly escaped. Someone who could provide a viable need for me without asking me for more than I can give? Sign me up!

Did I mention he is an entire decade younger than I am which automatically stroked the ego of this Aries woman.

Then the games seemed to start. The inevitable Scorpio testing. I am pretty sure I give the wrong answers a lot. I think he wants me to want him more. Although, he will flat out tell me he appreciates it when I call him out on his bullshit.

He plays hot and cold, and I told him I'm too old for games. I know sex is on his terms... when he wants it... asking for it puts him into game mode. So the ball is in his court... I act unaffected at all. When he wants to see me, he will, and if he doesn't, I'm not begging.

I let him know about dates I've gone on, because, again, this is supposedly non committed sex where I have compartmentalized our intimate moments and our professional life. He asks me now if I've been out, and he was upset the couple times I went out without stopping by his house afterward. My response? I don't just show up uninvited to someone's house. You knew I would be out, and if you wanted to see me, all you had to do was ask.

Yesterday he asked again if I had been sexual with anyone else since I had seen him last week. Later that evening, he texted me to tell me to save it all for him. Not to ASK me... to tell me in an ultimatum. Either I am exclusively his, or he will not play any more.

The perfect setup is being ruined due to possessiveness. I can't read him, and I usually am so good at seeing through games. What is m Scorp after—

om-fucking-g


The scary part is that people like you are among us. We work with them, are neighbors with them, and they look normal so how are we suppose to know that they are unsavory, indecent, immoral human beings?

I'm all of the above because I can't handle a relationship at this point in my life, decided to go ahead with a FWB proposition, and (I presume) because he's been with someone since highschool even though they rarely see each other and she moved a long way away... yes? You honestly don't know anything beyond that, so it would be rather hard for you to judge me in my entirety.

Yeah FWB never ends up good. Most people can't handle it and in his case he isn't. He wants you exclusively his own call girl. You're a fool if you want my opinion. He has a girlfriend and here you are doing whatever the hell you want, maybe that's the cougar way I have no idea. But seriously karma is a bitch and it will come to get you. You are playing a very dangerous game with a Scorpio and you are no wiser than he being an Aries. You think you might know but you don't have any idea what you're doing do you?

Why are you telling him what dates you are going on? So you are his booty call and he is telling you what to do? No. You are straight up booty. BOO-TY. Say it with me. Why are you telling him what you are doing? There are boundaries. He is not your man. You are not his girlfriend. You think at your age being 10 years older you would be smarter with this with men. The man is after nothing but controlling you without the label. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

What Let It Be said!

That ultimatum part really got on my bad side. My Scorp did this to me before and I will still never forgive him for that. Sounds like he's needy and will probably continue with his games.

Best way to find out where he stands - call him, or talk in person. Tell him you're not looking for a relationship and that he needs to calm down and let you have your freedoms/stop being possessive (because, you shouldn't even be constricted when you're in a relationship except for the loyalty part, let alone with FWBs). If he can't handle that, then just move on.
It could be he's looking for some mental/emotional stability, too, which he's either not getting from his LD gf or at all, if he's lying about it. That could definitely cause some problems for you.

@Scenic
I like you and your advice 🙂

@Curl
I didn't mean to come off as a bitch but I'm sure I screwed that up. I just can't believe he has the audacity to tell a booty call what the hell to do when he is with someone. OOOO I could just kick his ass! Uh I am so mad and it's not even me! Gotta be out of his damn mind trying to tell YOU what to do. It is BOOTY. What is with guys crossing the line. Oh you need to be only my booty call. Excuse me? You wanna run that by me again?

I consider there a difference between booty call and fwb. Booty calls are just getting together for the hookup and leaving. FWB actually share interests and have an established level of trust before trying for some sexual fun. At least, that's how I view it. I told him as we initially discussed it that I can't commit to anyone. I just can't. Not after my marriage. As soon as someone starts the whole "I think we should spend more time together" thing or anything close to that, something in me seizes up, and I bolt.

I've never met the girlfriend, but I believe she exists. He has always been very non connected in his talks about her which have taken place over the time frame we've known each other, and I attributed that to them being really young when they got together and the fact first loves don't usually last when you're a mere teenager.

I am usually pretty intuitive, but what I'm getting from him contradicts everything he's said. He wants no conflicts.... just hanging out and continuing with some intimacy... and yet, he does all those cliche "testing" things and shows appreciation when I see through it. I almost think this is another test.... to see if maybe I am spot on my word and am not developing feelings. If I agree to his "exclusively mine" tactic, then it's a test I've failed.

On the other hand, he may have spent the past eight months studying me without me knowing and decided to test waters with me before ending his current relationship. Even though I told him what I liked about our setup was the fact we walk that thin line perfectly. We had that element of trust already. But he would never want me to fall for him, so it would never get messed up or complicated.

And, no, I don't usually do the fwb thing. But trying to casually date turned up several men who wanted me to develop feelings much faster than I am anywhere near capable of. Since he's well aware of that, I can't imagine exactly what it is he is playing at. I'm ready to do exactly what you said, cut ties completely. This is so far off base from what I want or need, and I consider it a breach of contract that he agreed to all terms set then turned around and did things that drove my over analytical mind into warp speed.

Fwb doesn't work, it's an artificial thing. From what I've read, the guy isn't into that woman any more but doesn't have the guts to admit it to himself. He seems genuinely attracted to you but ppaus it down to fwb because he is lacking self esteem towards himself..

I'd tell him "if you like me, make it beautiful. And gentle. For your own sake, mine, and this world that should be honest and pretty"
It is said scorpio men have received incomplete mothering (busy parents etc). That and the clumsiness visible from what you're saying. He'll rather hurt around cause he doesn't know how to love
Don't go into that game