Seeking advice about Pisces ex

My Pisces ex and I started dating about 9 months ago. He ended things a few months ago the first time but we got back together. He was telling his best friend he wanted to spend his life with me and a week later he broke things off. Said he didn’t want to be in a relationship or have to stress about someone else. When we got back together he said he just has a lot going on mentally and his feelings for me scared him. He promised to make everything up to me and to earn my trust back that he wouldn’t do that to me again. Here we are a few months later and he has once again ended things. He has a lot of stress in his life right now and has started therapy. His therapist told him he needed to focus on self care and not a romantic relationship. So the end of Sept he ended our relationship. We had been talking about moving in together a few days before he dumped me. He says now again he doesn’t want or need to be in a relationship and that he doesn’t need anymore added stress right now. I know some might say... why would you want that or why would you even want him back. Truth is the heart wants what it wants. When we are together we get along so well. We are very alike in a lot of ways and have a lot in common. We didn’t fight and had only a few disagreements. We always enjoyed each other and had fun together. We live almost 2 hours away from each other and it seemed when we were apart things would not be as great. We did see each other almost every week though so the distance thing we made work for the most part. He gets very sucked in his own world (gaming is what he sucks himself into) and he is a hermit for the most part. I don’t think that it’s anything to do with another female. I just have a hard time understanding how he can go from telling me how much he loves me and making plans for the future yet a week later he leaves me again. We haven’t spoken but twice in the last 3 weeks. He has taken me off all his social media and blocked my number and also fb. I have left him alone and he has made no contact with me. I didn’t beg or anything when he ended it either. He has things at my home still and has not tried to make any plans to get them. My daughter spoke to him last night about an Xbox account issue she needed to get some info for and he said that he missed us all. When she told him that him and I needed to work things out and stop all this.. he didn’t reply. I just don’t know if I should wait and let him work his stuff out and see what happens or what? I wonder if he will even try to come back.. last time it was me who initiated most of us getting back together. Sorry this is so long and thanks for any advice anyone can give. How do you make a Pisces think about coming back? I forgot to add that when we got back together the last time he told me how much he regretted ending things and that he realized what he lost. Sorry just really at a loss with this..

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Are you creating waves in relo?

No, learned that the first time around. Not that I really did the first go around really. I just learned to keep my feelings in check a bit more I guess the second time.

Posted by ValleysofNeptune

Posted by Nipperstick

My Pisces ex and I started dating about 9 months ago. He ended things a few months ago the first time but we got back together. He was telling his best friend he wanted to spend his life with me and a week later he broke things off. Said he didn’t want to be in a relationship or have to stress about someone else. When we got back together he said he just has a lot going on mentally and his feelings for me scared him. He promised to make everything up to me and to earn my trust back that he wouldn’t do that to me again. Here we are a few months later and he has once again ended things. He has a lot of stress in his life right now and has started therapy. His therapist told him he needed to focus on self care and not a romantic relationship. So the end of Sept he ended our relationship. We had been talking about moving in together a few days before he dumped me. He says now again he doesn’t want or need to be in a relationship and that he doesn’t need anymore added stress right now. I know some might say... why would you want that or why would you even want him back. Truth is the heart wants what it wants. When we are together we get along so well. We are very alike in a lot of ways and have a lot in common. We didn’t fight and had only a few disagreements. We always enjoyed each other and had fun together. We live almost 2 hours away from each other and it seemed when we were apart things would not be as great. We did see each other almost every week though so the distance thing we made work for the most part. He gets very sucked in his own world (gaming is what he sucks himself into) and he is a hermit for the most part. I don’t think that it’s anything to do with another female. I just have a hard time understanding how he can go from telling me how much he loves me and making plans for the future yet a week later he leaves me again. We haven’t spoken but twice in the last 3 weeks. He has taken me off all his social media and blocked my number and also fb. I have left him alone and he has made no contact with me. I didn’t beg or anything when he ended it either. He has things at my home still and has not tried to make any plans to get them. My daughter spoke to him last night about an Xbox account issue she needed to get some info for and he said that he missed us all. When she told him that him and I needed to work things out and stop all this.. he didn’t reply. I just don’t know if I should wait and let him work his stuff out and see what happens or what? I wonder if he will even try to come back.. last time it was me who initiated most of us getting back together. Sorry this is so long and thanks for any advice anyone can give. How do you make a Pisces think about coming back? I forgot to add that when we got back together the last time he told me how much he regretted ending things and that he realized what he lost. Sorry just really at a loss with this..

Man, that’s brutal...so even with all of his stress or emotional problems it never really affected your relationship? I don’t really know what you should do but I do know that you can’t let this pattern keep repeating forever. If he realizes you’ll keep taking him back whenever he might get into the habit of coming and going as he pleases. I know that’s easier said than done tho because some people are just irresistible. But ultimately you know the situation better than anyone...have you told him you don’t care about his mental issues and you want to be with him and help him anyways? I’m assuming you have

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Thank you for the reply and yes...l agree completely! The odd thing is that it only seemed to affect us when we were apart. He had told me many times during our relationship that he doesn’t do well without me. Which makes no sense looking back now that he’s ended things twice. I did a lot for him also. I knew when we first started seeing each other that he was financially just getting by and so I took on paying for mostly everything. Made sure he had groceries at times. Took him and his son to the beach with my kids and I and always had his back. I made it very clear that I was there for him whenever he needed. That I wanted to be with him while he worked on things. He has a lot of stuff family wise and work wise going on. He started therapy and she told him he didn’t need to be in a romantic relationship and we should go back to being friends and build from there. Ummm we were 8 months into a relationship already! I told him no... that I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that. I had given him his space when he needed (something I had to learn to do) I was willing to help and work with him as needed... but ending things to be friends is something I refused to do. Part of me thinks he just doesn’t want to grow up. He says he doesn’t want or need to be in a relationship and I should just take his works on it. The stress of having to worry about someone else on top of everything is too much on him he kept saying. I think that it stressed him in the sense that being a man and having no money and me paying for everything didn’t help. His car needed work so that left me making the trip to see him all the time. Also having to open up wasn’t easy for him and that stressed him. He runs and hides from confrontation and I like to handle things head on. It’s just all a shame because I do love him. We are very quirky people and it’s hard to find someone we are compatible with too I think. I felt I found my match with him. When we are together things are so good also. We just clicked so well. I had hoped for one last chance but he’s not reached out to me at all. I keep thinking he will eventually to get his things but so far nothing and at that point the breakup just feels permanent if he does. Thing is.. last time it was me that did all the reaching out to him. When he left me I did beg and blow up his phone with texts begging him back (it didn’t work) we actually ended up having to talk weeks later after I had stopped contacting him. That convo led to us talking about us and getting back together after a few days of speaking again. However I was always left questioning things in my head after that. This time I wanted it to be him to reach out to me... wishful thinking though. I doubt he will try to come back on his own so not sure how to let go when it’s so hard. Last time I was with him (end of Sept) he was telling his parents that we were trying to make plans to move in together and a few days later it’s just over. Hard to wrap my head around...

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by Nipperstick

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Are you creating waves in relo?

No, learned that the first time around. Not that I really did the first go around really. I just learned to keep my feelings in check a bit more I guess the second time.

Sometimes the best decision to make is the hardest.

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So very true... wish my heart could get on board with that

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

how about just let him be?

he clearly needs to work on himself and be alone for a while

what's your sign?

I have left him alone. I haven’t contacted him in over a week. It’s only been just over 3 weeks though but we have only spoken like twice and that was at the beginning. I have no intentions of bothering him or contacting him.

I’m an Aries

Posted by Nipperstick

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

how about just let him be?

he clearly needs to work on himself and be alone for a while

what's your sign?

I have left him alone. I haven’t contacted him in over a week. It’s only been just over 3 weeks though but we have only spoken like twice and that was at the beginning. I have no intentions of bothering him or contacting him.

I’m an Aries

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You are doing really well. I would move on completely if I were you. If you do not, expect a wishy washy relationship with someone who is not your match. I'm not referring to astrology here, but to the fact that he does not see in you something he needs or wants. Let him go.

Posted by Undine

Posted by Nipperstick

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

how about just let him be?

he clearly needs to work on himself and be alone for a while

what's your sign?

I have left him alone. I haven’t contacted him in over a week. It’s only been just over 3 weeks though but we have only spoken like twice and that was at the beginning. I have no intentions of bothering him or contacting him.

I’m an Aries

You are doing really well. I would move on completely if I were you. If you do not, expect a wishy washy relationship with someone who is not your match. I'm not referring to astrology here, but to the fact that he does not see in you something he needs or wants. Let him go.

click to expand

Thanks

Thank you for the reply. I don’t speak to any of them anymore. The only reason I knew that he was saying that was his best friends wife told me when she wrote to check on me. She was really confused herself at that point too. I just told her that I was trying to hang in there but I keep our business away from our loved ones. I’d love for him to prove me wrong. I say he doesn’t want to grow up because instead of dealing with things he plays video games and avoids everything. He often said adulting wasn’t his thing and his own friends have made comments about him needing to grow up. You can tell he struggles with wishing he lived in his younger days and the fact he’s getting older and those days are gone... he’s about to turn 37.