Anyone wanna take a stab at this one for me?

Me and the Cancer guy friend got into an argument over something stupid. He says I always misunderstand him, I told him yes I focused on the negative of his statement but I understood how he meant it, but it still kinda bothered me. Well anytime we do get into a argument....he throws the "this is why I'm single, I don't have to listen or take shit" So I tell him good for him and you can enjoy it....and then why even talk to me then...he says cause its fun. Then he says "we do so good for the longest time then fight, fight, fight" I said people argue...its enviable...its the if you can get past it, is the bigger picture. I told him I'm not even really mad, and that this was hardly a fight....there's a difference when its actually a big blow out. Then things went back to normal and everything's cool.

My question is about the whole single thing every time something happens and then the we do so good for so long thing...I'm getting two different conflicting things here....either he wants to be single (which is cool) or he thinks of us as more (which is also cool) I'm probably analyzing much of nothing (like always lol) but its one of those things that stood out to me.

"this is why I'm single, I don't have to listen or take shit" has nothing to do with being friends, so...it sounds like he has feelings for you, or considers you in a romantic way-but because he's idealised this in his head, when reality kicks in and you argue, he freaks out.

yes, people fight. also sounds like he can't stand feeling like he's being told what to do or compromised? in which case, you need to find an effective method of kicking him off his high horse when needed 😉

what's his chart like?

His Chart

Sun Cancer Ascendant Aries
Moon Pisces II Taurus
Mercury Cancer III Gemini
Venus Leo IV Cancer
Mars Cancer V Leo
Jupiter Sagittarius VI Virgo
Saturn Libra VII Libra
Uranus Sagittarius VIII Scorpio
Neptune Sagittarius IX Sagittarius
Pluto Libra Midheaven Capricorn
Lilith Aquarius XI Aquarius
Asc node Gemini XII Pisces

nimbue- That's the impression I got too, but sometimes its so hard to tell...its was just a weird thing to say with us being friends and all.

Posted by LostinmyMind11
His Chart

Sun Cancer Ascendant Aries
Moon Pisces II Taurus
Mercury Cancer III Gemini
Venus Leo IV Cancer
Mars Cancer V Leo
Jupiter Sagittarius VI Virgo
Saturn Libra VII Libra
Uranus Sagittarius VIII Scorpio
Neptune Sagittarius IX Sagittarius
Pluto Libra Midheaven Capricorn
Lilith Aquarius XI Aquarius
Asc node Gemini XII Pisces

ah, i thought he'd have cancer merc/mars. it's written all over what you've posted about him. and a pisces moon? aww, this guy is sensitive. oh my god a leo venus. you know they need lots of attention and things on their terms? they're a bit bossy, too.

so how do you feel about him? because if you don't see him as anyhting more than a friend, he will have picked up on that ages ago. and will lash out at you, bringing up the 'this is why i'm single' card to rub it into your face that it's basically your fault he's reacting like this everytime you argue. it's a defence mechanism.

yeah, it's slightly manipulative...but cancers fear rejection. most people do, but with all that water in his chart it will hit him harder than most.

nimbue- he is very sensitive...I have to watch what I say to him and the way I say it....even when I do speak my mind, he doesn't take offense to it...at least that's how he wants me to see it as.
I've wrote about him before...I tried to find the thread (may have deleted it) but me and him have been friends for 10 years....and we have this thing between us...so I do like him more than that...but like him, I fear rejection and I get different vibes from him, so I'm one who likes to make sure first before that next step.

I have a leo venus too :/ wonder how that would work? I also have mars and my moon in Leo lol

Claire- See I get that too...that's why I'm so confused all the time. But then again his actions say something different. We have discussed the friends thing before...about how we don't wanna ruin the friendship etc...
I can see the stringing me along...he may pick up on my vibes that I do like him and been using that...but then again we have been doing this for a long time too....is that something that you guys would do?

his venus in leo-24.05
Mars in cancer-2.01

sounds like with both of us having leo venus...we're gonna be going round and round forever lol

Posted by LostinmyMind11
nimbue- he is very sensitive...I have to watch what I say to him and the way I say it....even when I do speak my mind, he doesn't take offense to it...at least that's how he wants me to see it as.
I've wrote about him before...I tried to find the thread (may have deleted it) but me and him have been friends for 10 years....and we have this thing between us...so I do like him more than that...but like him, I fear rejection and I get different vibes from him, so I'm one who likes to make sure first before that next step.

I have a leo venus too :/ wonder how that would work? I also have mars and my moon in Leo lol

awwww 10yrs? must be his prideful venus leo, not letting you see when he gets offended 😛

at least with you both having leo venuses, you'd know where each other is coming from...it's the same element, both fixed signs, etc. but your mars is in leo, his in cancer...very different ways of going about things. pisces and leo moons would be compatible, those signs usually get along.

so, ok you're friends but one or maybe both of you want more. i don't know...with a cancer guy, you could afford to take the plunge, maybe causally ask him out for a date.

i'll just say, my cancer guy friend wil have crushes on girls...girls he's been friends with for years and never, ever do anyhting about them. i think he worries about being financially sound for the future though, before going into a relationship. you know security's big with them.

so idk...could you see yourself making a move?

Posted by Claire
If you want to be with him it might be a good idea to be honest with him and then step away. Call his bluff because if he doesn't want to lose you he will do whatever it takes to keep you. If he won't do what it takes to keep you then is it all worth it?? Giving yourself away for no commitment in return??

If you're hurt by all of this then you need to lay down some rules because if you carry on giving him what he wants while letting him call the shots it isn't going to get you anywhere.

ok, claire called it better 😛

I could see the security thing...he's also mentioned it before. Its so hard to tell you guys everything that's when on for all these years where you could get a better understanding lol. I know it will come down to just finally talking about it...but its so hard when you get different vibes from someone. Every time I finally have the courage to talk about it...he says something that just throws me off and I kinda shut down lol.


Thanks guys for helping put my mind at easy...well for the most part lol

He doesn't always say something when I pull back...I kinda chicken out too. Like before he comes and sees me...I'll have it in my head that "alright tonight I'm just gonna lay it all out there" then he's standing in front of me and I get nervous and I back off.

He's done the whole ask me what I like in a guy then as I was explaining it to him....he said like someone that's a man but also a kid at heart (which is him exactly and could be a lot of other guys) He tries to buy me things, he drives up every weekend for over a year now to hang out (2 hr drive) and so many other things. Before we started really hanging out with each other...he asked me if I loved him...I said of course (I was saying it as friends) then he would tell me all the time that he loved me...then we started hanging out and he hasn't said it once (either have I) but he texts me first thing in the morning and always tells me goodnight. If I don't him right off....he gets pretty clingy and kinda freaks out (which I don't mind...its not like a creepy stalkerish way...so I think its cute) But to me that's weird...I've always had guy friends and not one has done the stuff that he has....this is were things are confusing lol

Will it ruin our friendship? I'm scared of his reaction...and if its negative then I will probably pull back for good...and I would really hate to lose such a great person...so I think I always be in limbo...unless he finally says something ( if he even feels that way)

Sorry been out of town all last week


MoonMan- Thank you for your perspective 🙂


Claire- Yeah we have hinted about the subject before...it just never gets anywhere. I'm not the assertive type and either is he lol. so yeah unless one of us gets the balls to actually say something...I'll just have to go with the flow. I figure eventually things will be where they need to be...just aggravating sometimes to not know...but I think deep down I do know

As always, everytime you talk about him ... you make sure to describe your cold-naturedness towards him and then wonder what's wrong.

It's only a matter of time before he decides he cannot take how chilly you are ... and the thing is, as you've said, you'd be cool with that = you not even having a clue that that is the only problem, in itself.



:::: shrugs ::::


You can lead a Virgo to the heart .. but, you can't make them feel it

Well it would be his decision whether it goes one way or the other....I can't make some one like or love me. So to me if he decides to be friends, I will be his friend (like I have been) or if he does want to take it to the next level...then that's what will happen. I must not be too cold...all I've ever attracted are water signs. My last relationship was with a Pisces sun, scorp moon and we were together for 9 yrs.

P- if you honestly knew anything about a Virgo, then you would know that just because we don't show our emotions to the world...doesn't mean we do not have any. Even my cancer friend knows this.

Posted by LostinmyMind11

P- if you honestly knew anything about a Virgo, then you would know that just because we don't show our emotions to the world...doesn't mean we do not have any. Even my cancer friend knows this.

What difference does it make if you have any ... if you don't share it with the people who matter?

If you feel for this guy, rather than showing it ... you just shrug your shoulders, as if to express to him .. oh well, I can take your or leave you.

To feel deeply for him, and not express it = zero


Doesn't matter though .. hell will freeze over before a Virgo will actually get that.

P- You are absolutely right...Its getting myself to let go and risk being vulnerable with him. And if you know virgos, than you know that's a big thing with us... How do you break a pattern that you are partially born with mixed in with life influences? I also know that he sees right thru my "cold exterior"...he knows I have feeling that run deep (as hes mentioned that before) and its not like he's never gotten anything out of me...thru the yrs.

I just can't put myself out there with him if I don't know how he feels....if I were to just say screw it and tell him and his response is not what I was hoping for... I would feel humiliated and then it would possibly ruin our friendship (maybe not forever but for a while) and that will hurt him as well.

So I "get that" but do you get where I'm coming from??