Appreciate comments - I don't know what to think

Hello beautiful and lovable crabs? happy birthday to y'all... must say that today's is Frida Kahlo's birthday (cancer) she was full of emotions her art work is breathtaking.

as many of you have been reading a year ago my BFF cancer and I got a big fall out... y'all know all the drama... basically it all come down to her stubbornness to not forgive me, for whatever the hell she think is sooooooooooo unforgiving I did (I mean I know what I did, but at this point i think she is been holding up on something, god knows).... anyways...

Some one here on PM told... "fuck that girl if after a year she can still not get over something is BS"... and she was right (another cancer). So gladly we don't see each other anymore... (she move offices) and I've been working on fixing my life and finding me a new job because this one is kind of start getting into my nerves...

Last Thursday I got an early morning interview with a pretty nice recruiter who is been very proactive on finding me a job... later I went to work and finally before the end of the day I got an invite from Leo friend to meet for drinks and maybe go out and party a bit... which I was good with, but she is a bit of a flake so I took it with calm, also sag friend called me to see if I can meet with her for a drink after work, which I prioritize on her because plans are always steady... then I was going to meet with leo friend...

I don't know if it was a random chance or maybe it was planned that way... after I've left my sag friend I went to meet with the other leo friend to a bar we used to hang out a lot... and there it was cancer ex BFF... but as soon as I walked in I felt she was unconformable either because she never reply to my last attempts to keep communication or maybe because she still have her head on her butt about me... I keep cool nonchalant, say hi same way I did to everybody, asked her how she was doing... she reply vaguely and complete turned her attention to Leo Friend and have like a high cooler one of one talk with her... I don't know if it was to get a reaction for me, which she didn't I kept my cool and kept talking to the other people in the table... 10 minutes passed by and all of the sudden she had to leave... I've notice she looked unconformable.

I wasn't??_. and I guess I finally realized, what is going on currently is her problem not mine, I??ve done all possible things??_ she refused??_ Im not going to sit here suffering??_

Weird thing it felt like we got set up by Leo friend??_ anyways who cares... Here is the catch??_ this morning I was exchanging emails with my recruiter??_ and my email has this feature that shows me every time an email I??ve sent is been seen (date and time)??_ not once but as many times as it h been as opened??_ well weirdly the last email I??ve sent her like 2 or 3 weeks ago which she never reply??_ she opened again this weekend and early this morning??_ that is so weird!!! why would you do that??_ is not like a pour my heart email or anything it was 3 lines with irrelevant —hey hows it going— kind of thing??_ so why go over and over the same irrelevant email??_ and most importantly why are you so reluctant to reply? I mean in a cancer mindset.

Her Birthday is Thursday and I??ve resolute already, I won't say anything??_ I want it too, but is just the motivation is gone??_ she doesn't care??_ I don't care either... so I will say happy birthday to all the cancereans on here instead!!!!

😭 really? No one?

Posted by fullwaterpisces
😭 really? No one?

Are you asking a question with these posts? Thats probably why no response :p

Sorry if my response seemed heartless fullwaterpisces, I wrote that after a whole day of exhausting work, I seriously would forget about that girl at this point and like the others have said, it seems a lot of work, too much for just a friendship.

^^^ I think DXP is acting up, because I don't see the respond you are talking about, I believe at this point that you guys are right... a few weeks ago I've wrote a "non-send" letter with all the things that I've kept to myself.... When I done writing it, I've closed my laptop and forget about it for about 2 or 3 days then went back and re-read what I've wrote...

bottom line I've realized that I knew all this long that I've been doing all the work and yeah is too much work..


@aurora: you are funny!! 🙂 I will have no problem in saying that we have had something if we ever did, but no we were never romantic or physical into that extend... although all this long I've been member of DXP I've been growing this curiosity of why is everybody getting that hint you are not the first person who mentioned... with the risk of sounding a like I'm playing dumb but I swear I don't ... there might be something I've been missing or something I didn't saw... will you mind sharing your theory with me...

^^^ I've been dead serious! is true that after people asking on and on if there was something more than a friendship, well there might be something I'm missing, because I don't see it... I will seriously appreciate if you can point exactly why...

Honest to dead (hand over heart)..... I can only speak for myself, I've never see her as anything else than my best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime, like a sister... is not sexual orientation denial or anything... I've never seen a girl with those eyes, i like guys and believe me I like them a lot !!!!... even if we all have to deal with their BS hahhahaha.

But you know after reading that same questions through all this time, I need to understand what is that people perceive as more than a friendship, I have pretty good standard for friends like for people that I've trust and care I will do whatever, but for that same regards I don't have many people like that... I thought in this case our friendship was worthy of that standard, all we had was at least for me, normal in a close friendship it felt right, until it didn't... but now I've wonder if any behavior or interaction between us, could be perceived as anything else, am I being overly naive here? that why I would like to hear you observations...

Well I've comply with my promise... It was a tough one... but is step one... I've resisted the temptation to wish her happy birthday, is not revenge is just simply that if she doesn't want me in her life, I wont force myself on it. just like ^^^ she is not have make one effort so far to reach out, I've done most of the efforts and she doesn't reciprocate... it hurts because is like a nightmare recently start having weird dreams with her on them... (totally what ever)... I only one the healing comes faster... she was for me a blessing on a moment and she turned my life on a butter sandwich.... now I know nothing I've did deserve that treatment... specially now a days when people don't even apologize for anything.

I got a pretty shitty weekend because one of the biggest issues, that fucked our relationship was when she invited me to visit her last summer and dished me with a silly and cheap excuse... now I've hear this summer she've invited other people including her new girlfriends to go over there... I couldn't help but feel all those horrible feelings I don't want to feel including jealousy, because she is going to give them what she denied to me... 😭

She is doing all the things we were going to do together with other people, I hate social media, and mutual friends I keep finding things I most better not know... cancer people can be the cruelest when they want to be... oh well it shall pass

Fullwaterpisces chin up and don't be a cry baby...Your friendship is not meant to be and she doesn't want you around.(harsh i know) but you gotta hear it...No one likes tobe rejected by someone who they love and adore but it has happened to me.I suffered through all the pain...end all communications with them, pretty much blocked them from my life...It's time to let go and move on...Now say it with me I CAN DO IT!
I told you this before but she doesn't deserve you.
With love,
CrabRiot!

Sorry Boo... I didn't mean to ignore you... I've been staying away from dxpnet lately, because I cannot find anything more nor inner peace not only about this girl but in general... I feel like I'm in a life journey (aging) I wish I've cancer's ability to compartmentalize and detach and pretend everything is cool and dandy... once I love one I never ever stop... even if they don't deserve it... but one thing about love our at least real one... is that is unconditional... so even if she doesn't love me back the way i deserve... I wish her the best... (rationally speaking life is unfair, because so people don't deserve that kind of love) but i love and accept myself a loving vulnerable person and that is for my greatest being...

I know i will get over it I CAN DO IT!!!... but just like you guys it takes time lots of time, patience and a roller coaster of emotions, that sometimes overwhelms...

nowadays... I walk my dog everyday (therapeutic) meditate on mondays, run on tuesdays and wednesdays, play flag football on thursdays, fridays im a homebuddy do my pet projects, photography, draw stuff, weekends either need to recharge from the week or go out and do something different, I took sailing lessons, paddleboarding, I've skydive yesterday, and repeat daily affirmations to increase my selflove and positive thinking... about to start a class to refresh my photography skills... I'm planning on a self-portrait photo shoot... working on it boo!!

sadly I went back to FB (necessary evil) to communicate with my local ex pat group for events and a running club... although not as active as before... lately my news feed is full of my ex-bestie's birthday celebration events even if we are no friends on FB (how random ha?) any rays... taking it easy...

Eh she's seems like an immature tart. You're better off. That bitch needs to change her birthday. I'm tired of these soul suckers being born on or near ny birthday.

Put your helmet back on and get out there kid. I like the running club idea.

Hahahaha is true... 🙂

you know what is sad? my grandpa and my uncle both passed away on July 9th 2009... so that's not a good day for me.... can we offer you a better day? you sound to me like July 7th lucky day—?? 😛

Running club is fun... people get together run 3 miles and then get together for beer... and we run local events every so often, yesterday I got invited to join a girls soccer team next month... I have my helmet on dear... I've been caving home for so long... ready to meet new people...

wanna know and the other benefit of running club— HOT GUYS!!!! 😉 my yearly forecast said I was going to meet love this summer 😛

There you go! Enjoy! And why should I change MY birthday? They're the ones who suck.

so you don't have to share birthday with some crazies... but no worries bday day doesn't make people... you are damn fine!! 😉