Approaching a Cancer male to a truce..

I have been involved with a Cancer male for over 5 months now (I'm a Pisces).. it's been a rollercoaster, but we haven't called it quits. I've known of lies/excuses he has told.. I admit to being manipulative at times to get my way.. I want to drop all this and have approached him (by email) to have a discussion to "clear the air".. no judgement, just want to get a better understanding of one another, so we can either embrace one another for who we are, or part ways peacefully. Do you think he will be ok with opening up to one another, or will it be too much for him? I can play with the best of them, but I really care for this man.. I would like a chance for us to be able to be open with one another without fear of rejection.

Well manipulation is not the way.. That will make him close up in his shell and be defensive towards you. Cancers are highly intuitive and can feel when something isn't right.
Besides that.. You need to ask him what he really wants and you need to tell him what you want. A lot of the time cancers just want to feel safe and secure in the relationship and they often sabatoge their own relationships trying to self protect when they are insecure with you

I am intuitive too.. early on he lied to me and when I approached him about it, he wouldn't admit it.. he got really defensive, so I backed off. We have both been guilty.. so I'm not laying blame. My hope is that all this time later.. and neither one of us has run off.. that we can trust one another enough to be open with one another without fear of rejection.

If he is not mature or has cancer in his moon or other planets that will make him naturally fear of rejection so if you want it your going to have to do most of he work.

Tell him you want to start over.

Thank you so much for your responses 🙂 Here's our charts:




So you can see he has a lot of Cancer in his chart.


How long should I wait before I ask him again, this time by telephone or in person... simply asking if he would like to start over? I want to give him some time to process it..

I would say do it in person, maybe arrange a dinner date.

I am a cancer with venus in cancer, with that many cancer placements this guy is going to be sensitive as fuck. You have moon in aries, so I am guessing you come on strong and straightforward. Cancers get hurt most by the people closest to them because they have no defence mechanism against them. With this guy you will probably have to build up his confidence in your relationship a lot first. Tell him that whatever happens you will always point out his mistakes in private and gently and in return he should be honest about his feelings and emotions with you. I am fairly certain all this manipulation nonsense will disappear immediately and he will feel invigorated. You are an arian moon you should know more than anyone else how to make a man feel like a real man. This is the confidence he needs to get out of this situation. Once he has it he will make you the happiest woman ever, he will cause himself pain to give you something beautiful. This is the true nature of cancer.

All this doesn't mean you have to walk on eggshells around him, just be private in what you say, gentle and firm. he will love it. It's not what you say but how you say it! Hope this helps.

It helps a ton.. thank you so much! I can be blunt and straight forward, but at times I hide my feelings too.. There are times he will shut down on me, and I don't know what to do.., but we find our way back. It's frustrating, but he means so much to me.. I can't bare the thought of life without him.

Cuddle him, be gentle and be understanding above all. His emotions are not his weakness but the source of the great strength of his heart. He is not less of a man because he is sensitive, something to remember. The cancerian is driven by his big heart which gives him a power of will like none other in the Zodiac. You will be happy with him, do your best to make him feel strong. If he still doesn't understand, then it's definitely his loss, after all you are a great lady yourself for trying so hard for him 😉

Thanks Incandescentcancer! 😄 He is a Cancer/Leo cusp with a Leo ascendent, so he can hide behind the lion when he is hurt, and that bothers me.. I would want him to be able to share with me what's wrong, especially if I was the cause. I would never think of him less of a man for sharing how he feels.. I'm a Pisces, so having feelings/emotions is something I know very well. lol

If you want to go down the manipulation rout, the best would be how you can create a scheme to draw him out step by step like a game. All the leonine facade is BS, totally ignore that. With that much cancer in his chart you can totally guess what he iliek on the inside. Sit back and play the game, have fun chasing him down. Don't be worried at all, you have him! 😉

I did that for awhile.. but that's not what I want to do. The rollercoaster effect isn't fun, so this is the only way I can think of to become more stable and grow into something wonderful.. I know it's there, but he has to take my hand and trust me.

Then use the alternative I suggested, if that doesn't work then god alone knows what cancers are made of! 😛

I gotta stay positive and true as much as I can.. it's hard, because I'm really putting myself out there so that he can allow himself to feel safe enough to do the same... that is, if he wants to. I can't imagine that he has sat on this rollercoaster ride too and not feel anything for me. lol

He's been pretty quiet since I sent the email.. I know it could be something else going on, but now I'm worried. :S

Posted by rhaina
He's been pretty quiet since I sent the email.. I know it could be something else going on, but now I'm worried. :S

How long has it been?

Two days.. he isn't ignoring me, but he's saying very little. I haven't asked/said anything heavy, just general stuff. I know it's best just to give him some space now, so he can weigh things in his mind/heart. It's such a big deal to me, that it's hard to keep my mind away from it.. I'm gonna have to keep myself really busy this weekend. lol

Same situation except i am married.. I am Pisces and he cancer... its a vicious cycle except he litterally ignores me at a minimum a week a month.. I ask for some time he says maybe and disappears .. usually two or three days.. I initiate contact and he acts like nothing happened.. I am not allowed to request or ask for anything more unless he gives it.. I make time and rearrange to spend time with him when he allows. And only then. If i initiate or push he scurries to his abode where I am not allowed unless invited. I have maintained and will stay far away from hearth and solitude places of his..

But now i really pushed to hard and he has ignored me the whole week
I asked him to tell me if he was through and I will walk away. But I receive only silence.

Now how do I fix this screw up?

I don't know.. I can only sense that feelings run deep.. but they are really hidden on the surface. I really am left flabbergasted on how to react.. he doesn't give me many clues on whether I am following the path he wants or if I'm going the opposite direction. I know Cancers want to be with ppl who are genuine and all I am doing now is following MY path on what I want, because that makes me REAL.. I just have to hope that he feels the same. I'm not getting very supportive signs though at this time.. he doesn't ignore me when I txt him now and then, but it's "cold" responses. :\ I want so bad to give him a great big hug and tell him things will be ok.. but I don't even know when I will see him again at this point. 😢

Who knows if they are meant to be. I know I will be who I am and I know what I want. I am who is before you and will be honest about my short comings. If you do not like me as I am that is fine. Games I do not need nor want. I am a fish I change in a seconds notice and go with the flow as needed. But Need some solid notion of where I stand... In the water with the crab or out of water gasping to get back in and onward to another if that is the case.

Unfortunately my crab is all in one with his moody bits also, I just need to know if it's reciprocated if not ok lets just be friends or acquaintances. Crab you are a good man with great ideas and plans. I will be happy with just the friend if that's all you can handle...

I say wait him out and see what transpires!