cancer and aquarius...

anyone in here dating an aquarius—

I have a long history of crushing on Aquarian guys but then I get sick of them really quick. I think its the gemini in me that likes them and then the cancer that says "yeah it'd never work with them" and gets bored

Yeah, there is somethingabout them taht I definitely find BORING in the long run,

boring...wow, i wouldn't exactly use that word. to me it's more like confusing, frustrating... which actually makes it not boring, b/c with aquarius you never know what they are going to do next...so hot and cold! but it definitely wears on you.

They've never been able to keep my attention long enough for me to find out...

I agree with softy. The ones I've known have all been really sociable and often like to be the centre of attention but thats it. Theres nothing hidden for me to analyse and they're nowhere near emotional or affectionate enough. Those are just the ones I know though.

im with cancerkitten on this one....thats about the whole of my experiences...they are more in love with thier friends then the people they are actually with in my opinion.

so there is nobody else in here dating aquarius men—

Great just when I was about to open a new topic. Aqua male here having a great relationship with a Cancer. Well in a crisis now because my aqua's weird nature hurt her really bad. It's around a year or so we're in distance (after being together for 2 years) because of her new job. Were skyping normally even make plans for the future but due to continues mistakes of mine and many chances given, 6 months ago she stopped talking to me. It's true it's my mistake and maybe that kind of mistake that I should accept, live with it and let her go. But instead, during this time I worked hard so I can initiate contact again now and change her mind. Besides her staff is still at my place. And I wouldn't do that if I didn't believe it's sthg special and that she may still believe it.

The question actually is, based on the above small image, how other cancers would react? I started with emails (that I figured out she double reads) and then phone calls. She didn't hurry to hang up but also seemed confident it's over or letting me believe that. So on Sunday I called for the "big talk" and we ended up talking for 2 hours till 2am trying to convince her and see her intentions. I'm sure she uses the shell and I guess she still cares but she's confused, hence the 2hr phone call. Any suggestions from other cancers? I'm here for anything more, thanks.

I fell hard for an Aqua a couple of yrs back and I was sure I could handle his aloof attitude and he was very self-centered. I really wanted it to work and I was told it would not be easy for us to come to terms in a relationship. Eventually I ended it because I didn't feel secure in his sincerity....he was a smooth talking player.

Don't let this discourage you because he went on to become very dependeble in his next relationship and is faithful to her, or so it seems anyways. If your cancerlady entertained your pleas for 2 hours, it's either because she didn't want to hurt your feelings or because she wants to believe you two have a chance at trying again. Either way the only way you will know is to continue with your courtship and encourage her to give you that second chance, if there is any sign that is willing to try again it would be a cancer, they treasure endearments and don't want to let them go, even when they should.

Good luck to you....and take good care of her if you do win her back....she sounds like a treasure.

tas... hello there. i don't know if i can help you out b/c i am in the same situation only i am a cancer female and my aqua guy just broke up with me for the third time. we were together for 2 years as well, and he has broken up with me 3 times now. this time it was over the phone, so i don't even believe that his words were real, but he told me that he is not comfortable with me and that we do not "click". no further explanation.
we spent the entire weekend before that together and had a great time (even have a pic of us kissing from that night!). even though he broke up with me 3 times now, i am willing to still be with him. at the moment we are not talking. i text messaged him a couple of times and only got one response. and i called him yesterday and left a message...no response. we have now been broken up for a month, so i don't know if it is long enough really. he is the type of person that needs his space and time to think about things, re-evaluate, and analyze everything in his head. he really needs his space and i have always given him that...
anyway, if you want to talk i am here. i think we could actually maybe help each other out with our situations... good luck!

vanessa...i completely understand b/c i am feeling the same hurt that you are right now...i feel for you. have you contacted him at all...or has he contacted you?

why would you give back a gift that he gave to you— i highly doubt he is going to take the jewelery back.
with us though, this has happened a few times so it is hard for me to take this time seriously. is this the first time you two broke up—

Vanessa126,

Could you maybe give some of the stuff to charity?

If you give the stuff to charity you will know that you are also helping out other people and who will be grateful to get it. Sorry about your break-up. I'm going through a bit of a problem with a guy also (he's not a Cancer) and not my boyfriend either. The emotions are there and that is what is bothering me. Anyway, things will work out for you in time.

stardance... wow, I thought I was reading my own experience with an aqua I've come across. The only difference was that he couldn't decide between a girl he's had a crush with for years or me (a girl he's only known for 3 months), at the time I didn't know his feelings weren't just for me, but I had the odd instinct of knowing something was wrong, so I broke it off with him.

Yes Vanessa, I agree here with Moonchild, why would you give the gifts to someone who gave you them? If someone did that to me, I would be offended and think them rather immature. When I give, I give something with a good heart....when I receive, I receive something from someone else's good heart - if something happens down the line, it happens...they were given to YOU at a certain time and place, they are yours, no-one elses or meant for charity shops etc., however charitable and altruistic an idea it seems....and if they do remind you of him, you simply think to yourself...another time, another place!!!!and store them "out of your line of vision"....in years to come,you'll SO want to just look and them and remind yourself of the magical moments:-)

But sorry to hear about the break-up.......

Alana x

Well, Vanessa my pal, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do at the end of the day because after all, it's your day honey, no-one else's.

Alana x

Moonchild I think you've given the answer yourself. Although I wouldn't do that breakup-n-come-back thing every time I need my space, it's true I cought myself being in a distance from my cancer quite some times exactly to re-evaluate etc. Well also depends on the moon (eg other aquas are very aloof, others very emotional like me etc) but generally they need people around them. I'm not 100% sure though that's the reason but sounds sthg I wouldn't want and I guess neither would you.

However this was not the main reason with my problem with my cancer. It was mainly my lack on following her to her well-family-planned-for-the-future plan that you know well that cancer always dream and is related to stability. She was understanding too about my aloofness and space but I guess once a cancer stops being understanding there's no way back, is it right? It's true she likes endearments hence the 2hr talk and she also complimented once on the things she likes about me. I could also feel the shell protecting her from showing feelings. But kinda she initiated talking again by asking her staff back. And also would she, as a crab, spend 2hrs on the phone if she was totally over it?

yes, i do think that she would talk to you for two hours even if she didn't want to get back together with you. she probably has forgived you for your behavior, but she will never forget! she is not going to turn her back on you, but at the same time why would she go back to you knowing that she will never get the commitment/security that she is craving. you will never be able to give that to her.

i may not be in the best position right now to answer your questions, considering i was just dumped by my aqua. and to make the situation worse i found out last night through a good friend that he has been seeing someone else this whole time. now, i don't know what kind of aqua you are, but my ex is the type that went and sabotaged our relationship by being with someone else. he is a commitment phobe and he freaks out when things get too close for comfort. so he went and did what he did.

now i may still talk with him and forgive him one day, but i will never forget how he broke my heart and ruined what we had together.

thank you vanessa...that's very sweet!

Sounds like Vanessa goes to feminist movements ! Would agree though that moonchild looks quite charming. Actually you could help me out moonchild exactly because you feeling like my cancer now. So keeping in mind that you wouldn't forget something bad your bf did, what would you want in order to give him the second chance ? I did use to freak out with commitment issues too but I think I've found the way to have my space within the relationship when needed. I know she loves my endearments and told her I'm working now, able to offer her so-needed security but I seriously don't think she would spend 2hr even if not interested. I think it's a feelings issue and she's confused. So keep on chasing her is enough?

first of all, everyone is different and reacts differently in these types of situations. vanessa does not want to look back, she wants to keep moving forward on with her life. it doesn't make her a feminist to tell me not to chase him. i wish i was able to do what she is doing, but i happen to dwell on the past too much. it is not to say that i am a weak person, b/c i am not at all weak...but it is just my way of dealing with my break-up.

tas...i don't really know if i am feeling the same way that your cancer does right now. my aqua really hurt me, but i still have love in my heart for him and i honestly feel that his love is not lost for me. what you did to your cancer does not sound half as bad as what my aqua did to me, although the reasoning may be similar. i feel that my aqua was too comfortable with me but at the same time he felt that he could not fulfill my need to be happy and appreciated. it's as if he felt he wasn't good enough for me the whole time...anyway, he basically sabotaged everything we had together to be with another girl. it was his way of seeing what else is out there and to test my love for him in a sense.
do you feel similar to this at all? being you are an aqua male, i am just curious to see if you are in any way like him. well, your cancer may want to get back together with you, but she may also be very hesitant at the same time. i know that i want to be with my aqua, but is it a safe decision? i am always going to be put on the back burner from now on, always going to be second choice for him. is that something i want? no...and that is why i will hesitate to ever go back to him if the decision comes up. maybe this is how your cancer feels. maybe she feels that she will never be completely happy with you or satisfied being with you b/c you cannot completely give her what she wants. i am not sure exactly what your situation is like, so i really cannot say...but that is how i feel with my aqua.

tas... i really can't say right now what i would want from him in order to give him a second chance (or in my case a 4th chance!). i have too much emotion running through me right now to even think about that, and i am not quite sure that he will even come back to me again like he did every other time. he may decide that he wants to be with this other girl and pursue a relationsip with her eventually...who knows. only time will tell...

tas...

i just went onto a website called female first forum, and saw your post on there. i was not aware that you have a libra moon which is crazy b/c my aqua guy has a libra moon as well! you two seem very similar, it's wierd. hopefully you can give me some more insight on my situation, being that you are very much the same as my aqua...
what is your cancer's moon? mine is leo.

tas...how long has it been since she has contacted you? when she goes a long period of time without talking to you, do you seem to want her back more and become more curious...or do you feel that she has moved on and therefore you give up? i feel that if i don't keep in contact with my aqua, or if he finds out i am dating other people (which i am not btw)he will just assume i have moved on and then he will just say "oh well, i guess she really didn't love me". that is why i say he is doing this to test my love in a sense...

"i feel that if i don't keep in contact with my aqua, or if he finds out i am dating other people (which i am not btw)he will just assume i have moved on and then he will just say "oh well, i guess she really didn't love me". that is why i say he is doing this to test my love in a sense..."

lol thats exactly how i am, being unavailable for a few days / weeks....if she contact me, than she pass the test.....thats why we are not compatible with traditional women or feminist who like to think "chasing is a men job or women should be passive"

cmarow...

yes, but we are broken up at the moment. would you still act that same way if you were broken up with a girl? or does it only apply to being in a relationship with a girl?

and i am by far a feminist. i thrive on pleasing my man!

oops..
* i am by far NOT a feminist* is what i meant 🙂

Ok about your aqua first:As far as I know the moon sign defines emotional habits and maybe the way you flirt. If he's like me then he will always have an issue on weighting things (hence libra's balance) and make choices. But I guess depends on experiences too, I tend to learn from mistakes related to the above difficulty of mine (my cancer as an example to mention :-\). Maybe he would flirt on the surface with another girl (dunno at what extend he sabotaged your relationship) but for me when my choice is extremely good, not necessary ideal, I tend to settle. In general, as I told you in the very beginning, we're very open-minded but at the same time weird, so if the above could help you decide for your case and how to cope with his aloofness at times I hope you can change him a bit so you will be together again 🙂

Well dunno the moon of my cancer, was not involved to astro back then. Yes I tend to think this when someone loosens contact or see him with another girl. Exactly what my cancer did in sep2005 where she blocked me from msn and didnt wanna talk to me (well I was mainly calling all the time). For the next 6 months I thought a lot and did any changes necesary but without contacting her at all till I have something good to offer to get her back. Just as a sample, my last mail after the big talk had the topic "I will let it cool for a while but I will not give you up so easily". So for her yes I wanna call every day but a)no good b)she's working=getting tired, not that she doesn't want to 😉 well at least before sep20005. She's all what you said, please her man, hesitating and giving many chances. It's just now can't see what's in her mind, well from a)she first contacted to ask for her stuff b)doesnt hurry to hang up c)reads my emails and collects my posted-gifts, I have the feeling she needs to hear sthg to do the click and make her less hesitating, but dunno what, maybe by keep on calling her I can figure it out. She clearly wanted to marry me after having a stable job, and now it's the ideal time but she said sthg like "yes I did want but now I don't" which is bad just as itself, but in combination to all of the above? Dunno :-\

tas...

well, like i said before your situation is a little different than mine. you are the one chasing her, and i am the one chasing him.

yes, my aqua does have an issue on weighing things, and this is what led him to flirt with a girl who works at the bar he goes to everyday. and then when things got a little rocky between us, it was logical for him to leave me and pursue something with her...even though his emotions are still with me. but as an aqua, his logic outweighs his emotions...but maybe not with that libra moon!

anyway, towards the last month of our relationship, he could see that i was not happy with him b/c he was not giving me enough of what i wanted (prob. how your cancer feels). i even told him that i feel like i am putting all of my effort, energy, love into the relationship and i am getting nothing back from him. i now realize that he was putting something into it, but it was done in a different way than how i do it. so basically i think he left me b/c he felt that he could no longer make me happy so why continue. and in the meantime he has gotten to know this girl that works at the bar pretty well, so he figures maybe she can offer something better to him than i did. he is very curious still to see what else is out there and he loves to flirt with other girls, even though he would never admit to it. i don't know to what extent he sabotaged our relationship either b/c i don't know if he was dating her while he was with me. in my heart, i don't believe that he would ever do that...but i don't know for sure. but i still believe that his heart is with me...

as for you situation, i think your cancer needs to see that you have learned a lesson...not necessarily that you have changed b/c i am sure there are a lot of qualities that she loves about you. but maybe that in the past year apart from each other, that you have done some soul searching and you really know what you want out of life. have you done that? or do you still feel confused / or that you are still weighing out situations? you said yourself that you always have an issue on weighing things or making choices...well, that is exactly how my aqua is and that is why he left me. and now you realize (and my aqua may also realize one day) that you lost someone who meant a lot to you b/c you were confused as to what you wanted. and i hope you get her back but i also hope that if you do, you do not make this mistake again!

tas...one more thing. why is it that you still have her stuff after so long? i am questioning b/c my aqua still has my stuff at his place and has not mentioned anything about me going to get it. and i have stuff of his as well. just curious...

his logic outweighs his emotions, that's a big line, that's the problem when aqua and libra conflict in same person. And also with him the same, that's why you may think he shows no feelings or change feelings and give you up easily. I think he's just a typical aqua like me but he cares for you in his own weird way. Now again I dunno to what extend he flirts with that girl but most of the times it's hard to tell about feelings when dealing with an aqua. And I think he might flirt but have you in his mind. I didn't have such an experience ie never done it but judging from my friendships I'm always easy talking even to people I don't get along, just break up with those really annoying and very narrow-minded.

About my cancer, your previous post reminded me of some more details of the big talk. She did mention once the values she liked in me (I guess good sign) and consider it a fact that I do am more mature and I'm sure she could tell by my sayings and actions that I told her I did (eg have been working and I'm ready to have income to live alone and have family etc). It's just that is she so considerate to return and needs chasing hence the 2hr talk or she simply turned the page and she's just a kind person and likes to talk even after break up ? The thing started around March2006 (stoped talking Sep2005) when I was about to start contacting her but she emailed first asking her boxes back. She left them with me cause couldn't take much at the trip and we were making plans to marry (well she because I was quite immature back then) even till Sep05. And she explained on the phone how emotions that she felt at the airport and from the many chances she has given and I know this takes a lot of phone calls to convince her and I intend to do it. She said sthg funny like "I don't wanna mother you, I want you to take care of me" funny because cancer are famous for being good mothers 🙂 Anyway I tried a lot during the 2hrs but I guess I have to call her more often now but still need to send her boxes and hope she will not erase me totally by then.

it's hard to say b/c her getting her stuff back from you could be seen as closure in a way, right? i don't know. i thought that if my aqua were completely done with me, he would have told me to come get my stuff by now b/c that is usually what happens in a break-up...but he hasn't. so, i am confused!
is your cancer on a trip at the moment, or is she living in a whole different area than you? you two have been apart for quite a while now, huh? i think, like i said before, she needs to see that you have grown as a person...and as an aqua i think you know that your actions speak a lot louder than your words. i don't know how you are going to be able to show that to her being so far away from her, but that is something you need to figure out. i don't know you very well, so it is hard to say, but maybe you haven't done enough soul searching to find yourself. maybe you need to work on that first before worrying about winning her back. let it happen more naturally, i guess.

so, as far as my aqua...do you think that i should continue communicating with him every once in a while? would you get annoyed if a girl that you broke up with kept on calling/text mesaging you just to say hello, or would you like knowing that she is still thinking of you...knowing you still have feelings for her? gosh, i really miss my aqua 😢

Well she's abroad and I'm doing some hard chasing to convince her. The thing is why although every phone call is less awkward still she has the same attitude that is negative but not hunging up. Today I called her but seemed (or was) sleeping but we did talk for 5-6min. She keeps on listening without replying to my endearments, maybe enjoys that at last I'm talkative to her and not aloof as I was before (aqua). When I pressed her 2-3 times to tell me how she feels she was really negative so I gave her ground and turned to endearments again hoping to ask again at a later date. Do you think chasing will work so I should give it some time ?

For your aqua, is he now with that girl or just flirting ? I think in such cases the medicine is the same: he must see you with another guy, even if he's not your new lover 😉 It will be up to you then how to handle and show him no more breaking-up-and-back-again. I'm always against women do sthg in such cases although I'm an emotional guy. See my example how hard I'm trying to correct my mistake although it may be late already :-\

tas... no, if my aqua sees me with another guy he will just assume that i have moved on and he won't want to have anything to do with me...plus, i don't play games like that! so, that doesn't work. i have spoken to him since i had found out about the other girl and i asked him about it. he said that he is not dating anyone else...

i don't really know if chasing her is going to help, b/c you are still not proving to her that you have done any self reflection. i think she really needs to see that before she decides to possibly get back together with you. you said that you made a mistake, well there must be a way to correct it other than calling her to talk. you need to work on whatever mistake you made and take a good look at yourself and how your behavior was in the relationship.

So you say her action of listening but not replying means I'm on a good way but have to be more drastic so there's hope. Cause I really told her many staff she didnt expect me to say exactly because I did self reflection but I guess she's expecting me to have a permanent job (temp at the moment) b4 she takes the big decision and come back. I knew that from the beginning just din't wanna dissapear till I succeed to an interview and then I can really press her. So I guess at the moment I can call like once a week as usual.

why is she so concerned about you having a full time job? was that the issue between the two of you? financial security—

well if you have done some self reflection than that's good. she should see that in you then, right?

yes so that we can have a secure future (her words) and I changed towards that but I told you how she reacts: negative to come back but talkative and say things like "why didn't u do that when I asked you, now its too late" etc plus she keeps on reading my emotional emails first thing at work (when login to msn). I guess she expects to hear from me that I'm working at "this" company instead of part time b4 she can express herself a bit.

my thoughts are that if she really *LOVES* you she would not tell you it's too late after you have obviously made the effort to work on yourself and work on what was bothering her about you.

what exactly does she consider having a secure future? you having a full time job— if that is the case, that is pretty low of her. i don't really know your situation , but from what you say it sounds like she doesn't love you unconditionally if that is how she feels. was she unhappy with who you were as a person, or how you treated the relationship when you two were together—

btw...how old are you?

I know it might sound not logical but consider it as a fact we had not just great, but ideal relationship (not perfect but match in over 80% ), going to the next level. She did love me, it's just this matter that I was not serious with jobs, just doing some part time once in a while. And as you know cancer need the stability and security. As far as I remember this is the only issue she complained nowadays and calls back to how she hurt and don't wanna go back. I've also heard that once a cancer is hurt there's no way back. Esp if she's given many chances like she did. I hope she expects me to actually have started working then she can express some feelings. That's my intention. Well I'm almost 28 (she's 27 now) and recently finished my masters and having some interviews on schedule these days. I'm also moving to another house so quite a lot to worry about and as you understand she's my motivator in my mind. And she's not giving any sign but on the other hand I don't expect to because it's me now to show sthg really good first. Argh :-\

Ok moonlight I think I have some sample results after my last phone call now. We talked for 30min and she was focusing on me returning her boxes but also we talked for our relationship. Definitely she can feel my change and how much better a new try will be but on my question "unless you believe this can be a match and you still have some feelings for me, then me calling to prove things to you has no meaning" she kinda diplomatically replied that she stopped it back in september and now she can't do sthg for the short term and she mainly wants the boxes. My feeling is that her feelings has been affected but kinda giving me time to start working and for herself to think of it over. She keeps on saying shortly before we hang up that "enough for now". So after all these what's your opinion? Do you agree? Should I keep on calling her like once a week till I get the job? She wouldln't go into details if she didn't intend to think of it again would it?

i was with an aquarius for 12 years. being a cancer, thought i could turn myself inside out to make him happy.. but the truth is i found this aquarius to be emotionally unavailable, always has an eye out for something else (better or worse-didn't matter). needless to say it was a very draining and troubled relationship.i could say more but, don't know that you want or need to hear it. Goodluck!

moonee...

i would like to hear it...b/c i was with an aqua for 2 years and my situation was the same. he breaks up with me/gets back together always to see if there is something better out there.

Yeah moonee I wanna hear too. I understand all those you said (and even more, I'm analytical as an aqua) but my libra moon and a lot of self-analysis made me as you see hunting it although might be already too late. I strongly believe I can only match with such a sentimental person cause I'm as well (though aloof too) and even if I look for sthg different I always value her the most and return to her, And as you see she doesn't actually avoiding me. Don't forget there're always exceptions to the rule 😉

"I strongly believe I can only match with such a sentimental person cause I'm as well (though aloof too) and even if I look for sthg different I always value her the most and return to her"

tas,
wow...that is EXACTLY what my aqua does to me. he always keeps me on the back burner b/c he knows i am the best girl he ever had/ will have. but he always feels that there may be something else out there that he wants to explore...

why are you guys like that? why do you take advantage of a good thing when it is right in front of your face. why does it take being apart from that person to realize how much you love them—

i know you realize now what you had in your cancer...and i know one day mine will too. you and my aqua sound so much alike it's crazy. must be that aqua/libra moon combo ;0

oh, i have'nt logged here for a long time. But this message caught my attention. I experienced the same way too. I got an aqua bf for a year. and i really loved him so much. The first time we met, i didnt think that i will fall in love with him, and i told it to him, that according to lovematch, we are not compatible (coz i really loved to read these lovematch from astrology). But he still insisted and got my heart. so we had the relationship for a year. we are both happy for the first months. he went back to his country and when he came back to my country, he still stayed with me. I beleived that he is happy with me and satisfied, but i was wrong. i ended the relationship coz im feeling so exhausted. In our relationship, i have gave him 3 times already. Though i loved him, but i have to let him go coz im feeling that we are not happy being together anymore. I let him go coz i think he needs space to think. and i really want time to come that he will go back to me and realized his mistakes. He told me that im the most wonderful woman he ever be with (except his mom of course) and he said if he has a bestfriend whom he wants to give a gift he will give me because i have all what a man could ask. but if its true, why did this happen?

Moonchild is right! and im also looking forward that my aqua man will come to me one day again. Until now, even we are apart (he is in uk and im here in emirates for work) we still have communication and staying as friends...

tas...how is your situation going— let me know...

aquarius = E~V~I~L

Go ahead, go out with`em.
You'll regret it!

LEAVE WHILE YOU CAN!

aquarius = E~V~I~L

aquas are evil bcoz they cant understand your emotional need?