Cancer being an asshole?

I've known my cancer guy for quite some time. We use to date for awhile a few years back and I always had to initiate hanging out. However when we did he never wanted me to leave and always insisted I'd stay the night (in his arms) watching movies and looking into each others eyes. He'd always play with my hair, give me nice back massages etc. yet things never got serious. We'd see each other at least every other day up until my birthday when he found out my ex was there so he brought some girl he had been sleeping with. I'm guessing he did this out of anger or hurt? I'm still unsure to this day. We finally started hanging out again a few months ago and recently we had sex, now he's always too busy or just doesn't answer my calls or messages or anything. I ask him why and he says stop it, I'm just busy I'm not being an asshole. It definitely does seem to me that he is and I've had enough of it because my feelings had always been so strong for him I'm not putting myself through this again. I sent him a text message tonight saying how I get the point, how I thought he was different and it bothers me how he acted like he was and it took me several years and sleeping with him to find out he wasn't. Now I know quite a bit about Cancers and how you's tend to act funny when you have feelings for someone so I don't know what to think, or what to do. Any insight, preferably from the male crabs?

I wasn't saying "funny" in a bad way, I was implying it as in cancers tend to withdraw when they like someone and disappear for awhile.

I wasn't saying "funny" in a bad way, I was implying it as in cancers tend to withdraw when they like someone and disappear for awhile.

Hey moon!

But me being a cancer male myself I would just honestly keep confronting him about what's going on in his mind of endless thoughts. Because we male cancerians are the hardcore thinkers of the zodiac and when we think about something and don't feel like sharing it, we put up a hardcore fort knox barrier around us. If you catch my drift.

So either you can try to slowly crack away at his inpenetrable barrier or you can give him space, he WILL come to you when he's reading I can assure you this.

All you got to do is put on a brave smile, I mean c'mon! You are talking to smiles here 😉

I am a Scorpio to a T. When all this happened I didn't say anything to him until Easter which all he got was a simple Happy Easter hunny bunny text and he replied back, I then sent a message on Wednesday and he didn't answer, and then again on Thursday in which I flipped out on him because he wasn't answering again and said is this your way of not acting like an a $ shole? In which he replied how busy he was and this that the third. Now I believe if you really wanted to talk to me your not always "that busy" right? So I kept arguing and he kept telling me to stop it so I apologized and said a lot was on my mind and he's acting like a jerk etc etc. everything was fine and then I texted him two days after asking if he can hang out, no answer, again the next day saying hey, no answer, to which I finally had it and wrote "Congratulations Mr. Unfixable I finally get the point. You know you really had me fooled into thinking you weren't like every other ***hole and that you might not be a self centered egotistical jerk but I was so wrong. I'm just annoyed it took me several years and sleeping with you to figure out who you really are." I don't see how we go from talking everyday to not talking at all so of course I'm going to assume somethings wrong, never answered the text message and it probably was harsh but he's not acting so nice himself with giving me the silent treatment.

I also don't know what to say, if anything after I sent that message. I don't wanna be on his crap and I figured if he really gave a damn he would make some attempt to keep me in his life.

Moon I've been doing good! How bout you ms. Moon!

nOvbaby, maybe you could mirror the actions of the other person..? You ignore me, I ignore you.. If the other person is worth something they'll come around on their own. Not your fault the other person doesn't know how to adequately express themselves.

Well that's what I'm doing now SRG, or in my thoughts I'm being stubborn. There's many things I would like to say to him however I'll just say it for when or if we speak again. I can't stand someone who runs in and out of my life though, it drives me up a wall. As well as the fact no matter what he never lets anyone in.

From my own experience I know how intense and passionate you scorps can be.. personally I love it but it's not something everyone can handle. You put so much of yourself into the relationship and don't receive the same in return.. it's inevitable that problems will arise.

If you ask me, i'd say this other person wasn't ever ready to be in a serious relationship.. bringing some chick to your bday party out of spite is a sign of insecurity/immaturity. Confident, mature people simply don't act like this.

ich was at a pub there was absolutely no reason to bring her. Especially when I knew what was going on and he had just been with me the day prior and we went to party city to get stuff for my party and we hung out all night play wrestling and cuddling and kissing until he drove me home. And I feel a little better N.hillist knowing you know how a Scorp/Cancer friendship works considering me and him use to be friends (who did like each other though). I don't know if he will come around, I feel like maybe I was being harsh and too intense but that's just my personality. I have gut feelings and react to them, I can't help it. Cancers are such a mystery because it appears it takes a lot of time and effort to get inside their shell and when dealing with king stubborn its just that much harder. I don't even know where to begin to attempt it now that I feel he probably shut me out forever. Or he's just a jerk and will never speak to me again and used me. Uh I hate knowing how compatiable we are physically, emotionally, astrologically..

The first half of my message had gotten cut off (stupid web browser on my phone). What I had said was, I did stop texting him, there was no need to be nasty about it. Also SRG your absolutely correct, it was a sign of insecurity and immaturity on his behalf but he also did bring a few other people with him as well to my birthday party which was at a pub.

I personally think that Scorpio women are a little too intense and harsh for Cancer men. Yes we get along great when all is well but when it comes to conflict? Nah... Cancers withdraw... Scorpio strikes... Cancer withdraws further. IT's a vicious cycle. Scorpios like to have it all out in the open bad or good in my experience Cancers prefer to wait it out and hide until the harshness and bad feelings have been toned down. As a Scorpio I lose respect for men that can't handle a woman who isnt' scared to have it out.
Unless you are willing to be patient and tone it down and coddle his every mood I'd move on. You'd be doing yourself a favor unless you are willing to change who you are.

Your absolutely correct about that, I always feel the need to have everything out in the opening, I'm not a mysterious scorp at all. Perhaps that's why we clash so much since he feels the need to keep everything to himself unless I interrogate or pry it out of him.

Strange you guys went from hanging out the day before to what happened at your bday party the next day..

That's what I thought and then never speaking up until recently because I embarassed him infront of everyone for trying to make me look like a fool infront of my friends.

Guess that means you guys are even.

Yeah I guess we're even for that...I just wish I knew what was going on now. I'm debating whether or not to text him and saying something like I know things got weird between us and I'm not sure why? I don't see why anything has to change, I wasn't asking you to be my boyfriend just to text me back at least once..

I decided to leave a voicemail saying what I had to say along with if you want give me a call back, if not I'll see you when I see you. Not holding my breath.

Any form of calling, texting would not be advisable.. you'll do more harm than good.

Yep ^^^ Need to leave it alone and probably move on.

Gingerscorp you really have it out for Cancers don't you? I haven't seen you reply to a single Cancer related thread where you haven't bashed us. I find your replies, while they may contain some good advice, aren't very constructive and tend to generalize Cancers into one giant group that needs to be, how do you put it, 'coddled'.

Unless you are willing to be patient and tone it down and coddle his every mood I'd move on. You'd be doing yourself a favor unless you are willing to change who you are.

So your advice is to bend to his every whim and change the person that she is? Great advice...

Personally, I don't need my every mood coddled to. I would say most people would like to have a partner who is supportive of them and can be a shoulder to cry on when necessary. But Cancers are more than capable of dealing with their emotions on their own. Withdrawing into a shell anyone?

Now I'll try to be constructive and provide some advice for you novbaby. I would agree that you should probably move on. It's hard to tell though, since it seems like he liked you. He may have just been using you though, so you have to be careful in future dealings with him. Don't give it up too easy unless you are sure he is committed.

As for the prying thing, ya that part is pretty much true. I've been dating a girl for 3 1/2 years now, and for the first year, she had to pry everything out of me. I'm personally easy as a book to read, so she would know immediately if something was bothering me. She was relentless. I would try to fight her off for up to an hour sometimes, but finally I would cave and tell her what was going on in my head. And we would work through it. Now we have a very strong relationship, and there is very open communication between us. It took work and patience on her part though. If you are willing to do the same, it can be very rewarding for you both. Best of luck.

Oh my I've offended. Being a Scorp it happens alot😉 Sometimes people can't take my version of "the truth".

"Gingerscorp you really have it out for Cancers don't you?"

Nope. There are Cancers on this board that are the complete shit. Cool ass people. 🙂 I have a couple male Cancer friends in RL. I'm good with Cancers as friends but in my personal experience as a Scorpio woman that Cancers are too soft for my harshness as I said before. Boy was I right! 🙂
I'm sorry that you are offended by me but I'll not going "tone it down". Sorry. Perhaps that is why it never works with me and Cancers.

Oh good! You advised her to move on. I believe I said that too. So you see that my advice wasn't to bend to his every will and change who she is. It was the exact opposite. Nobody should have to change for anyone. Maybe they aren't compatible......like I said before...... Why exactly are you so upset at what I said if you agree with me?
You've demonstrated exactly why I think Cancer men are a bit to soft and touchy though.... for me anyway. 🙂

No worries Nil. I have a ton of Scorp in my chart (sun/moon/venus/mercury and jupiter) and a Cappie in Mars. So I think I'm a little "strict" and harsh then some. I have a hella intense chart. 😛
I really liked one of my Crab friends too but he got offended by something I said (a joke) once and I was way turned off by his reaction. He was cute as hell too but I can't be with someone who's feelings gets hurt at the drop of a hat.
Eh... maybe that's why I'm with my Aries. You can throw anything at them and it bounces off like it's nothing.
Everyone has a different view on what's strong and weak. I view shutting down and hiding as "running away". I'd rather get it out no matter how ugly it may be. No use in feeling something if all you're going to do is hide it. *shrug*

Novbaby,

Do you really want to live this way?

You haven't even had sex with the guy! Rein in your intense emotions (and the reason they are all over the place is because you are NOT being satisfied by this guy -- in ANY way!) and move on. If you WERE happy with this man, you would be calm, smiling, and expecting some great sex sometime in the next few days. Does this describe you?

Don't expect a straight answer from the Crab -- they are evasive and move sideways. And the other difference between them and a Scorp is they have NO moral code. If a Scorp injures someone, they try to fix the hurt or move on -- in any case, resolution is reached. The Crab feels no such obligation.

Yes, their love is so nurturing and dishy-dreamy -- but unreliable. I'd try an Aries, Leo, or even a Virgo but not the Crab.