Cancer girl ignorant to hurt feelings? wtf?

This just throws me for a loop, and I've just never witnessed this before with a Cancer - especially a female - and I was hoping someone could shed some light on this for me.

A lady (Cancer) that we see quite regularly is married, and this couple owns a bar .. so, both of them are at the bar nearly 24/7 working it. The husband treats her like total crap .. I mean, so bad that he hollers at her in front of the patrons, and belittles her ..... just absolutely humiliates her.

Patrons are so upset most of the time .. you can see it in their faces, they are completely shocked that this man yells such things as:

What the fuck is wrong with you, are you stupid?
Shut the fuck up ... and mostly just controlling like ... go do (that) now, and shut yapping your fucking jaw.

I mean, he bellows this out constantly, and then proceeds to tell patrons in front of her how terrible his life is because he has to deal with her ass.


The thing is ... it just flies right over her head .. she has NO reaction AT ALL .. she just smiles and does exactly what he says.


And I'm like wtf is going on here ... how in the hell could a man do this to a Cancer woman, who is the epitomy of "sensitivity" and NOT get upset?

Lately, we've been getting to know them closer, mainly because my husband feels so sorry for her, so he wants to be extra friendly and sweet to her .... and from what we gather, they don't argue in private. We were thinking .. ok, she saves face in public so not to get even more embarrassed, and then reams him in private .. but, that's not the case.

She is completely ignorant to him destroying her feelings in front of friends and the public .... could someone please explain this character trait, or it goes against everything the Cancer is all about = feelings.

I was in a relationship like this before (constant verbal abuse). I can probably bet that he didn't start out acting this way. It was probably a real gradual change. She see's him as the man he was when they first met. I'm quite sure it bothers her PLENTY but her defense is to appear emotionless. I'm sure she is plotting in her head her next move. We cancers tend to think, think and think again before making any big decision. I fully believe she won't put up with it forever.

I don't know why but I also have a tendency to play the victim role for a while when in my head I know good and well that I am soooooo not a victim. Yet, I intentionally let people underestimate me and my intelligence just to see how low they will go. My brother (a cancer) does this as well. I guess I like to get to the true essence of who a person really is before I can trust them. It's probably why I never fully trust ANYONE outside of my family and also why I have so much trouble commiting to someone.

what sign is the husband?


I'm willing to bet he was aquarius! Sorry aquas....I've had three relationships with 3 different aquas...they were all verbally abusive. I'm just saying...

Perhaps, she does cry in private .. I don't know. I do know that he doesn't allow her to have friends, however, he tells people that it's her who doesn't want friends .. but, I know that isn't true because everytime she sits and spends time with me at the bar, or other friends .. he constantly comes over and micro-manages what she's talking about to me.

He's a Leo .....

Sometimes, though .. I can detect a trace of sadness in her eyes, but, not very often and it doesn't seem to coincide with being berated .. it seems to come out (this look) when he isn't around.

Maybe she is just holding it all in .. but, won't that make the pain fester until one day she just flips out and goes psycho? I tell you though, I watch her very closely when he's doing this .. and she shows NOTHING, not even a flicker of her eyes.

Hhhmmmmm .... maybe she feels trapped. Perhaps, I should try and see if her husband will let her go shoppping or something .. see if she says anything .. I could pose leading questions. It sounds from what you have said that she is holding all this in, and probably needs to have a good crying fit to get it out.

Thanks for you insight .. it was helpful 🙂

wow, dear P-Angel, i am so sorry to hear about this cancer lady, you can only do your best in comforting her, if she will let you that is. This situation is very similar to my gemini lady friend and her leo boyfriend, he always shouts at her, always tells her off, he even told her "to throw herself from the window if she is not happy", he cucked her out of the house twice, they don't go out together and sometimes he disappears for the whole week-end, phone off and all without even telling her and when he comes back, he tells her not to even dare to make a scene.she cires every day, but the problem is that when i tried to help, she refuses to listen to me she keeps on saying that he loves her!!!!she is not even allowed to text him or call him, ever, and they live together!!!once he threw her out of the house and she came to me crying, i saw a broose on her hand, and then she said she is leaving him, he even spends her money, then 2 hours later he sent her a text saying that "...don't move out, i still love you!!!" and she got up she went running back!!!", some girls they just like that, i don't know.i wonder if this cancer lady realises that what her husband is doing is wrong, that would be a first step, if not, there isn't much you can do for now!!!

You're right Scorpio978 .. I really can't do anything to help her if this is the life she chooses. I've even made my own comments about that before .... sometimes, people like to be treated that way. And in every case where someone doesn't, they have to have a desire to change their lives, for themselves.

I guess I was just freaked out because I know a lot of Cancer females and none of them would put up with this crap .. they would stand and defend their honour and feelings .. so, it's just so strange to me.


"You are sounding like you are reacting to the situation as YOU would react to it. Understandable. Her behavior either doesn't make sense to you, or you identify with it and aren't being as objective as you could be, or you ARE feeling her on a emotional level and that is making you want to act."

You're right, as usual 🙂

I am feeling it, everytime he does this to her, my whole innards just scream out with protest .. which, obviously I'm allowing it to be subjective, which is wrong of me. It tears me apart, though. Even my Virgo husband, who is an emotional robot, is upset about it, so I know it's not just me who is feeling this torment for her. And that's they keyword in which I need to fully acknowledge ** for ** ..... we cannot live for her, we cannot feel for her .. if this is acceptable treatment to her.

Thank you for being so honest and giving me a reality check .. this really isn't my problem, is it? And any friendship developed out of pity isn't real .. it's superficial.

Damn, how ignorant of me to have to be told this.

Thank you bijou 🙂

I Can't Understand how This is a Sign thing.

Ive seen this before with a cancer woman.

Were's an Interesting fact:

Did you know a Volvo has wheels?

Here's

I Was tryna say that every car has wheels, meaning lots people are in relationships like that.

Fail?