Cancer logic, to whom it applies to.

I will never understand why Cancerians think it less cruel, to have somebody who loves them, drive themselves crazy, hoping that they will take the hint that they aren't interested in them anymore, rather than tell them the truth. I prefer the latter, that way i'm not wasting my time. This backwards way of thinking, makes no sense in my mind. Anybody care to explain this thought process to me?

It's a logic that only they can understand. I guess they believe that it'll hurt less that way, and make them think that they are not the bad guys after all. In their eyes they are never at fault.

I know it's hard, but you have to stop dwelling on this. you're letting him waste more of your time now, you have control of your life, don't let him control you!

Posted by Shellyd238
It's a logic that only they can understand. I guess they believe that it'll hurt less that way, and make them think that they are not the bad guys after all. In their eyes they are never at fault.

I know it's hard, but you have to stop dwelling on this. you're letting him waste more of your time now, you have control of your life, don't let him control you!

But it doesn't, it hurts even more, because idk what the hell is going on. Well I do, but i'd like a rational explanation, not a slow disappearing act.

And yes, I know I am dwelling, I just need time to grieve. I'll be ok in a few weeks, but for now, I am still searching for answers that I will never get. Bear with me lol!

Posted by Arielle83
It's logical to cancer because cancer holds back their real feelings.

They are guarded.

They also don't get why ppl catch feelings so quick. Because of the guard we have.

Don't be seduced by words. Look at actions.

Don't let a man hold your hand until you know he can hold your heart.

That's how guarded I am.

You won't get it if you are out there dating and seeking love.

I can't see what holding back their real feelings accomplishes, it only ends up pushing away the ones who love them the most, because then they think that they don't care. Who knows how many amazing people they have let get away by behaving in such a manner. But if it's logical to them, then I guess there's nothing else the rest of us can do.

And i'm not seeking love, I need a break from guys, my heart needs some time to heal. And as for him, I wasn't looking for romance, he was the one who professed his love first, I wasn't feeling that when he did so. But I think his " love" was more infatuation and lust than anything. Or he never really had any feelings for me, was just playing the game hard. I'll never really know though, will I?

One of the consistent themes underlying most of these types of threads has a "me, myself, and I" element.

OP: No offesnse, but this is like the 3rd or 4th thread you have made on this topic, and you have gotten *some* sound advice from some of the people. The problem is that you are refusing to heed it.

Cancerians aren't the only ones who do this, love, but the truth is it's easier to just walk away and let the other person figure it out than to face them, tell the truth, and possibly deal with anger, tears, pleading, and drama. We're passive-aggressive, we don't like confrontation, and we don't want to face hurting someone.
Have you noticed how cruel people on this site can be? It's because it's easy to be a douchebag to someone you can't see, and who is just an avatar on a screen. The people that come on here and just behave like total asses to people would most likely behave very differently were they to confront them in person.
I know it hurts. I know it's selfish, but the only fact that is important to you is that he's given you the hint, not why.
It's time to let go of that relationship, and start healing.

Posted by Arielle83
"Who knows how many amazing ppl they have let get away by behaving in this manner."

You can't understand because you're thinking in your terms.

We don't care about that stuff.

If it's meant to be, things will work. We need comfort and stability first.

It's always infatuation first, then if things are still good down the road after a while then maybe.

You can't seem to get over that it didn't work out.

We know there are so many amazing ppl out there, we just aren't into tying them down ASAP.

We like understand and seeing.

If you are gonna bring more drama than needed, we detach.

If we can't trust you, we detach.

If we feel uncomfortable or busy etc, we detach.

If you keep trying to keep in contact you're going to get more annoyed cuz it sounds like he's detached.

I am hearing, but will never understand y'all lol! I think i'll steer away from Cancer men in the future, just for my own sanity haha.

And i'm not reaching out anymore, it's done. We can never seem to meet in the middle, I guess we just weren't meant to be, IF he ever did truly love me.

I always appreciate your insight!

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
One of the consistent themes underlying most of these types of threads has a "me, myself, and I" element.

OP: No offesnse, but this is like the 3rd or 4th thread you have made on this topic, and you have gotten *some* sound advice from some of the people. The problem is that you are refusing to heed it.

Lol, no offense taken! I'm just trying to understand this guy's mentality as a Cancerian, that's all.

Oh i'm heeding, there won't be anymore contact with him from me, because there is nothing else to salvage. But i'm glad I went through this, i've learned some very valuable lessons.

And give a girl a break lmao, my heart is kind of broken atm.

Posted by Arielle83
Also from what I remember, you didn't trust him.

I'd never stay a week with someone who had no faith in me.

That's like an attack on my character.

Why stay with someone who thinks so little of you, you know?

Well shady behavior, warrants distrust, that's how I see it. Only wanting me for sex, disappearing for days, a text from a so called " gf" or whatever the hell she was.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Jkats

Posted by Arielle83
Also from what I remember, you didn't trust him.

I'd never stay a week with someone who had no faith in me.

That's like an attack on my character.

Why stay with someone who thinks so little of you, you know?

Well shady behavior, warrants distrust, that's how I see it. Only wanting me for sex, disappearing for days, a text from a so called " gf" or whatever the hell she was.

Okay so you saw it. A reason not to trust.

Then just remind yourself of that and that's why you don't want him.

I'm so avoidant of drama that I would of walked away then. Done the cancer "disappear" thing cuz I don't feel respected.

I also wouldn't feel I owe him an explanation.

Just pay attention and trust ur intuition.

Maybe that's why cancer is guarded, because our intuition is so central to our actions and feelings.

click to expand

Lol yeah, i'm not a distrustful person generally, more cautious now yes, but I only feel that way if i'm given a reason.

I wish I could be more like you and walk away so easily, but I think it took me so long because I was in love with him. Other guys i've had "relations" with (not just speaking in sexual terms), when things didn't work out for some reason, I cut them off like that, no second look back. He just spun me into his web of lies so tightly, I couldn't see the truth. Welp, second day NC, and i'm ok, though I did cry my eyes out the past two nights. Hopefully tonight I can go to sleep without my heart breaking. I started a new job, so my mind's kept busy all day, it's when i'm home, my emotions take over, blah.

I bet he's wondering why I haven't texted him again apologizing, that's what he's used to. Well sorry sucka, not this time!