Cancer man

Hey all,

I’ve been with this Cancer dude for over four years and it’s been up and down. He’s hard to read and my intuition always feels like he’s hiding stuff. It’s stuff that we’ve worked on and come along way but it always has a way of popping back up. He moved in 3 months ago and his laptop has been sitting on my floor since. I had the sudden impulse to open it up and found a sex video of him and his ex where it’s just a very clear shot of her on top and nude. It was downloaded twice onto his computer since we’ve been together. I also found a nude of her put on the inbween the vids. 1st things 1st. I get it, you get what I hack. I see my boyfriends ex and she naked and on top of him and looks perfect. I feel awful and want to pop my eyeballs out. I deserve what I feel because I snooped. Here’s the kicker. He has only said over the past 4 years that he has absolutely no desire for her anymore and told me he didn’t even have access to that stuff all this time. Lie. I guess my question is why? It’s like obvious that Cancers are super nostalgic but he refuses to acknowledge it to me even after all these years. It hurts. I feel betrayed and I don’t get how someone can act so over someone and still be looking at this stuff. After my relationships, I don’t revisit or save anything like that. I don’t care at all anymore. No animosity or anything. I just don’t care.

I've been in exactly THIS situation. start letting go of him a little bit .Starting seeing if there's someone else you'd like to pursue that can give you more and not make you feel the way you feel in this relation. And then when you can finally let go, break up with him or just leave . You don't have to explain the snooping or anything. or you can simply say, I've known for sometime now you still have a thing with your ex, I think you should pursue that. But I think you should find a way to exit this relationship when you're ready... but this sort of thing can't be fixed.

My cancer was texting his ex I love you etc. and he won't ever say I love you to me and I been with him for years. That situation was not as bad as yours but whenever I asked if he still talked to his ex he would lie. The lying hurts even more on top of the fact that you think something about you is not good enough for him and you infinitely suffer in a loop of comparison to the ex.

Because think about it, if he found a sex vid with you n your ex on your phone, I think he would leave you right away, not trying to make things work you know ?

You trusted your intuition and look what it led you to... the truth! No need to torture yourself with trying to work this one out let it go you’ll only damage yourself trying to stay! I wish for you healing and peace♥️

Tell him if he can't get over his past then he can stay there. Alone.

Nobody deserves to be compared to someone's ex. Cancers have a tendency of holding onto relationships even when they're long dead. I was seeing one who was constantly lamenting the fact that "he was supposed to be married by now." (God only knows why that engagement ended ... Let's leave it to our imaginations.)

Thankfully I wasn't serious about this guy since there was apparently only one woman he was ever intent on marrying ...

Way to romance the ladies, crabs.