Cancer man confusing the heck out of me.

Heyyy! Ok so I'm 24 and he's 22. I have a crush on him & he works at my job. Haven't known him for a long time as he just came to my store from another one. So when we first used to see each other it was like an unspoken attraction (I'm a scorpio btw) like he would stare at me & smile and I'd smile back and look away out of shyness then look again to see if he was still staring & he'd still be staring lol. Then oneday he finally spoke to me & was asking me questions about my life & my coworkers seen us talking & they were like oooo you know teasing me b/c it was that obvious that there's an attraction there. But we didn't exchange numbers or anything that day. So oneday I just decided to ask him if we can exchange numbers & he agreed he gave me his phone for my number later. Btw him, me & another coworker were having a conversation & the cancer said he doesn't have a girlfriend he's just dating (so that's what made me ask for his number). One time I walked passed him & my gm was there & he noticed we liked each other & brought it to my attention(like that's how obvious it is!) Okay so it became a habit for us to walk together to the train after work. On the way oneday he asked me what I was doing after work & I said I usually don't hang out much & he was like really? We didn't get to finish the convo because he had to run back to work to bring something back. But later he texted me & said "so you really don't go out?" So I told him I would if I was invited then he said he'd invite me out to the club with his friends the next time they go out. So of course because the direct Scorpio I am I go & say, "But what if I want to go out with just you? Are you comfortable with that? Let me be direct if I may, it's no secret--at least between us two that we're attracted to each other." Then he goes "Yeah...we can do that too." Then I asked him when would he had time and he never texted me back. So the next time I went to work looking really great and he was all acting like nothing happened so I confronted him & asked him if I made him feel uncomfortable. Then he got really nervous and hesitant it was like I shook his soul or something & he said, "No you didn't make me uncomfortable.. it's just that.. it's just... " I said you can be honest, the he said, "you're very pretty...... but I'm seeing someone." So after that I let it be but then 1 of my really good friends/co-worker asked him if he had a girlfriend & he said no and then he said he was seeing someone but he doesn't like to be around her like that. Then he also told my friend that he likes to play games. Now of course that's a turn off but here's the thing I wasn't looking for a relationship I just thought he was cute & had a little crush so what I want to know is that if you're technically single, you don't like the girl you're dating that much then why wouldn't you want to see me? Boys who play like to collect toys, no? I'm thinkin maybe he does like me & got scared of his feelings or something

Posted by SensitiveBlues
im not reading that

ever heard of paragraphs.


that sheet makes my head dizzy

I'm sorry I'm new to this and I'm on my phone so.... I guess you don't have to read it.

Posted by Admiral
He seems like a pain. evaluate if his words match his actions and if it's worth it.

It's seems to me like he was building up to asking you on a real date but you FOCKING ruined it. LoL. It's sideways honey, that's how we roll.

Don't think about it too much. If he likes you he'll contact you. Act like nothing happened and continue with your life.
😎

Lmaooo I did FOCKING ruin it *sigh*. Yesterday, I seen him like after a month & I acted normal like hey how are you & we had a conversation seemed like he remembered everything I ever told him lol. Then I gave him a coin from Barbados (I went away was supposed to bring him back a keychain before shit hit the fan lol). The attraction seemed like it was still there. Idk you're right I'll just chill out. Thanks

Posted by Koniucha
Yes, pretend like he no longer exists

I had a mind to do that but I wasn't expecting to see him when I did since I haven't seen him for a month & I was like fuuuuccckkk what to do ah fuck it just act normal lmao.

Posted by SentimentalCrabby
He probably just wants to have some experienced, usually I know that Cancer men would like to get to know you some more before they actually decide to be with someone.

Thou, I am guessing he probably thought you fell for him at some level and he didn't want to hurt your feelings? Usually on text messages they would see different things along the line and understand something totally way off.

Well you see I don't want a bf, he expressed that he just likes to date and so do I so I didn't think anything of it whez I decided to be forward. The attraction seemed very mutual not only in my eyes, but my coworkers too lol. I also kept reading that cancer males are shy and they need you to be forward, so I was like hmm ok I'll try it. Especially since he invited me out so I was like ok he obviously wants to see me outside of work. But I guess I ruined it for real.

Posted by Admiral

Posted by Koniucha

Posted by Admiral

Posted by Koniucha
Yes, pretend like he no longer exists

They work together LOL, I thought I liked ignoring people. I was thinking more along the lines of minimal contact.
😎

Fine, then say hi if you must

Hey you can still be antisocial if you want.
😎

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It's kind of hard because I have to work with him and I was all friendly with him yesterday and shit. Well how could I lure him back in? Lol.

Posted by SentimentalCrabby

Posted by Cg2016

Posted by SentimentalCrabby
He probably just wants to have some experienced, usually I know that Cancer men would like to get to know you some more before they actually decide to be with someone.

Thou, I am guessing he probably thought you fell for him at some level and he didn't want to hurt your feelings? Usually on text messages they would see different things along the line and understand something totally way off.

Well you see I don't want a bf, he expressed that he just likes to date and so do I so I didn't think anything of it whez I decided to be forward. The attraction seemed very mutual not only in my eyes, but my coworkers too lol. I also kept reading that cancer males are shy and they need you to be forward, so I was like hmm ok I'll try it. Especially since he invited me out so I was like ok he obviously wants to see me outside of work. But I guess I ruined it for real.

Honestly, I don't think you ruined it. They're probably hesitating about you. Whether or not they should hang out with a girl like you. He could end up falling for you at the end, which will make him pretty indecisive that he will be throwing away his fun youth along the way.
Most likely, they'll still stick around and get to know you more, I am positive that Cancer's appear when you least expect it to happen. So don't be surprised when you end up seeing him out of the blue 🙂
They'll be wanting to know you more when you seem pretty mysterious.

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He does ask me a shit ton of questions lol. He the day I asked him if we can go out alone he told me in the text listened to my podcast and said I have a really nice voice within the same response. But I've noticed that I get better responses from him in person than text. I also always see him once in a blue because our schedules are different. I also travel a lot and he's fascinated by that. He told me he'll give me a coin from Colombia lol. Btw he said his mom likes collecting coins so I was like hmmm lol

Posted by SentimentalCrabby
That's another sign. I have never met a cancer man who would get a gift for a woman who they're not interested in.

Hmm okay, well then let's see if he actually brings the coin. I don't see him often though and he doesn't make contact via phone. Like if I were to text him about something other than work he'd go over it and answer a work question, but in person he'd entertain anything I'd bring up really. I'd like to still see him outside of work, but I don't think that invitation to go out with him and his friends is still extended. Idk how to get him to see me outside of work now. Am I supposed to wait only until I see him at work to see what he says or idk what my next move is supposed to be you know?

Posted by SentimentalCrabby

Posted by Cg2016

Posted by SentimentalCrabby
That's another sign. I have never met a cancer man who would get a gift for a woman who they're not interested in.

Hmm okay, well then let's see if he actually brings the coin. I don't see him often though and he doesn't make contact via phone. Like if I were to text him about something other than work he'd go over it and answer a work question, but in person he'd entertain anything I'd bring up really. I'd like to still see him outside of work, but I don't think that invitation to go out with him and his friends is still extended. Idk how to get him to see me outside of work now. Am I supposed to wait only until I see him at work to see what he says or idk what my next move is supposed to be you know?

Well if I were in that situation, I would put him aside. Maybe, make up a plan to hang out somewhere.
But if you don't like making the move, you could just let things be and not really expect much from him. They usually just come around, popping up plans for themselves.
You may never know though, he is probably thinking about hanging out with you alone or his friends meeting you.
For now go with the flow, they reconsider a lot of things.

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See I don't mind doing that, but I don't want to make him back up again like he did the first time. But at the same time I kinda do still want to explore this crush lol. *siiiigghhh* also thank you for your advice and stuff

Ok will do. I'll give you an update when I see him.

None of you know how to deal with these idiots. They like to be disciplined,and not coddled for their bad behaviour. I think humans in general want someone that is gonna put them in their place for their bad behaviour. When he told you he's seeing someone, you should've said, "Well then cut your sneaky crap out. If you're seeing someone then stop hitting me up like you're single and available!" And your friend who he said that he doesn't really like the girl he's seeing should've also punked him and said, "You're a coward douche and my friend dodged a bullet. Get a backbone and break up with the girl you're seeing if you don't like her". Weak men piss me off.

Posted by aquarius09
None of you know how to deal with these idiots. They like to be disciplined,and not coddled for their bad behaviour. I think humans in general want someone that is gonna put them in their place for their bad behaviour. When he told you he's seeing someone, you should've said, "Well then cut your sneaky crap out. If you're seeing someone then stop hitting me up like you're single and available!" And your friend who he said that he doesn't really like the girl he's seeing should've also punked him and said, "You're a coward douche and my friend dodged a bullet. Get a backbone and break up with the girl you're seeing if you don't like her". Weak men piss me off.

I understand what you're saying. I totally agree. Here's the thing lmao. When he told me I was like okay that's all you needed to say. Now my friend asked him questions to probe him so I can get the truth so he was recording him without his knowledge so he I could hear it. So that's why he (my gay friend) didn't say that to him. Now the reason I want to lure him back in after his douchebag ways is to be real honest, I want to play. I want to give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe that sounds bad but I wanted to play to begin with but in a we're dating having fun with no strings way buutttt he wants to play games soooo I'll play too. Just gotta lure him back in lol.

Posted by Cg2016

Posted by aquarius09
None of you know how to deal with these idiots. They like to be disciplined,and not coddled for their bad behaviour. I think humans in general want someone that is gonna put them in their place for their bad behaviour. When he told you he's seeing someone, you should've said, "Well then cut your sneaky crap out. If you're seeing someone then stop hitting me up like you're single and available!" And your friend who he said that he doesn't really like the girl he's seeing should've also punked him and said, "You're a coward douche and my friend dodged a bullet. Get a backbone and break up with the girl you're seeing if you don't like her". Weak men piss me off.

I understand what you're saying. I totally agree. Here's the thing lmao. When he told me I was like okay that's all you needed to say. Now my friend asked him questions to probe him so I can get the truth so he was recording him without his knowledge so he I could hear it. So that's why he (my gay friend) didn't say that to him. Now the reason I want to lure him back in after his douchebag ways is to be real honest, I want to play. I want to give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe that sounds bad but I wanted to play to begin with but in a we're dating having fun with no strings way buutttt he wants to play games soooo I'll play too. Just gotta lure him back in lol.

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How old are you? It's not worth it and being vindictive is a very shitty way to be. When I called him a cowardly douchebag, it's looking at things from his gf's perspective. He wasn't a douchebag to you. He told you he has someone. He was forthright before you got attached or things went any further. To want anything with him now is to be a foolish homewrecker. He already told you where he stands, as in he's willing to be a douche and cheat on his gf with you but do you want to be a side chick and homewrecker? Karma will get your back.

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by Cg2016

Posted by aquarius09
None of you know how to deal with these idiots. They like to be disciplined,and not coddled for their bad behaviour. I think humans in general want someone that is gonna put them in their place for their bad behaviour. When he told you he's seeing someone, you should've said, "Well then cut your sneaky crap out. If you're seeing someone then stop hitting me up like you're single and available!" And your friend who he said that he doesn't really like the girl he's seeing should've also punked him and said, "You're a coward douche and my friend dodged a bullet. Get a backbone and break up with the girl you're seeing if you don't like her". Weak men piss me off.

I understand what you're saying. I totally agree. Here's the thing lmao. When he told me I was like okay that's all you needed to say. Now my friend asked him questions to probe him so I can get the truth so he was recording him without his knowledge so he I could hear it. So that's why he (my gay friend) didn't say that to him. Now the reason I want to lure him back in after his douchebag ways is to be real honest, I want to play. I want to give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe that sounds bad but I wanted to play to begin with but in a we're dating having fun with no strings way buutttt he wants to play games soooo I'll play too. Just gotta lure him back in lol.

How old are you? It's not worth it and being vindictive is a very shitty way to be. When I called him a cowardly douchebag, it's looking at things from his gf's perspective. He wasn't a douchebag to you. He told you he has someone. He was forthright before you got attached or things went any further. To want anything with him now is to be a foolish homewrecker. He already told you where he stands, as in he's willing to be a douche and cheat on his gf with you but do you want to be a side chick and homewrecker? Karma will get your back.

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But that's the thing. He blatantly said he doesn't have a girlfriend, but he's seeing someone but it's not serious. He told my friend this in the recording word for word then said he doesn't like being around her. This is what confused me and made me create this thread. If you're not in a committed relationship and you obviously like me then wtf is the problem.

Posted by Cg2016

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by Cg2016

Posted by aquarius09
None of you know how to deal with these idiots. They like to be disciplined,and not coddled for their bad behaviour. I think humans in general want someone that is gonna put them in their place for their bad behaviour. When he told you he's seeing someone, you should've said, "Well then cut your sneaky crap out. If you're seeing someone then stop hitting me up like you're single and available!" And your friend who he said that he doesn't really like the girl he's seeing should've also punked him and said, "You're a coward douche and my friend dodged a bullet. Get a backbone and break up with the girl you're seeing if you don't like her". Weak men piss me off.

I understand what you're saying. I totally agree. Here's the thing lmao. When he told me I was like okay that's all you needed to say. Now my friend asked him questions to probe him so I can get the truth so he was recording him without his knowledge so he I could hear it. So that's why he (my gay friend) didn't say that to him. Now the reason I want to lure him back in after his douchebag ways is to be real honest, I want to play. I want to give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe that sounds bad but I wanted to play to begin with but in a we're dating having fun with no strings way buutttt he wants to play games soooo I'll play too. Just gotta lure him back in lol.

How old are you? It's not worth it and being vindictive is a very shitty way to be. When I called him a cowardly douchebag, it's looking at things from his gf's perspective. He wasn't a douchebag to you. He told you he has someone. He was forthright before you got attached or things went any further. To want anything with him now is to be a foolish homewrecker. He already told you where he stands, as in he's willing to be a douche and cheat on his gf with you but do you want to be a side chick and homewrecker? Karma will get your back.

But that's the thing. He blatantly said he doesn't have a girlfriend, but he's seeing someone but it's not serious. He told my friend this in the recording word for word then said he doesn't like being around her. This is what confused me and made me create this thread. If you're not in a committed relationship and you obviously like me then wtf is the problem.

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I had a cancer male once tell me the exact same thing once that he's single, but there's a girl he's seeing. I was baffled because what kind of a stupid answer is that to "are you single?" I was so baffled, but after pondering and talking about it with my fri

my friends, I realized that this woman (whatever her title may be: gf/fwb) is a factor in his life and that is why he mentioned her or felt like even mentioning her. When I'm single, in casually going on dates with multiple men. In other words I'm seeing bunch of guys. Now imagine if I come across a new guy who is interested in me and he asks me if im single. My natural and honest answer would be yes and that's it because I truly am single and not exclusive with any one of them. If I mention or feel the need to mention one of the guys I'm seeing to this new love prospect, that means he's more to me than just some random guy I'm casually seeing, get it?

Posted by aquarius09
my friends, I realized that this woman (whatever her title may be: gf/fwb) is a factor in his life and that is why he mentioned her or felt like even mentioning her. When I'm single, in casually going on dates with multiple men. In other words I'm seeing bunch of guys. Now imagine if I come across a new guy who is interested in me and he asks me if im single. My natural and honest answer would be yes and that's it because I truly am single and not exclusive with any one of them. If I mention or feel the need to mention one of the guys I'm seeing to this new love prospect, that means he's more to me than just some random guy I'm casually seeing, get it?

And that's exactly what I thought initially. When he told me I backed off. It was a month. But then I was confused about what seeing meant in his world since he said he didn't have a gf. So that's why my friend found a way to bring it up in conversation for a straight answer. Mind you he was showing another coworker pictures of other girls askin who looks better etc. You know guy talk bs. So I was just confused. Like ok dude are you single or are you not? Lol. I've left it alone but then I was like but he said he wasn't in a relationship and he likes to play games so I was thinking good me too lmao. But idk

The thing with men, not just cancer men, is that they can liked multiple women at one time but that doesn't mean that they will necessarily leave one for another. Also, don't think that he's necessarily being truthful when he says he doesn't like the girl he's seeing. Men say a lot of ridiculous bullshit to get side chicks. I know some who even lie about their wife or long term gf dying to appease their side chicks. LOL.

Whatever it is, he's not a man of good character. Which guy sees a woman or is seeing a woman and then talks shit behind her back like that? This is why I was utterly repulsed by the cancer guy I previously mentioned. They think they look like some kind of martyr for dating a woman they don't like, meanwhile they actually look like a cowardly jackass for continuous seeing a woman they claim they don't like.

Posted by Cg2016

Posted by aquarius09
my friends, I realized that this woman (whatever her title may be: gf/fwb) is a factor in his life and that is why he mentioned her or felt like even mentioning her. When I'm single, in casually going on dates with multiple men. In other words I'm seeing bunch of guys. Now imagine if I come across a new guy who is interested in me and he asks me if im single. My natural and honest answer would be yes and that's it because I truly am single and not exclusive with any one of them. If I mention or feel the need to mention one of the guys I'm seeing to this new love prospect, that means he's more to me than just some random guy I'm casually seeing, get it?

And that's exactly what I thought initially. When he told me I backed off. It was a month. But then I was confused about what seeing meant in his world since he said he didn't have a gf. So that's why my friend found a way to bring it up in conversation for a straight answer. Mind you he was showing another coworker pictures of other girls askin who looks better etc. You know guy talk bs. So I was just confused. Like ok dude are you single or are you not? Lol. I've left it alone but then I was like but he said he wasn't in a relationship and he likes to play games so I was thinking good me too lmao. But idk

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Don't waste your time with stupid games and certainly not on dull asshats. If you do that, then you're heading for heartbreak hotel and not to mention total waste of time. It's hard enough having enough time to find decent guys and you think you have time to waste on this loser.

And one thing I realized is that men who claim to be single while acknowledging they have someone are usually shopping for life. Major red flag bearers. These guys are always looking for the next best thing. They leave the current for the new and on goes the cycle.

Posted by aquarius09
And one thing I realized is that men who claim to be single while acknowledging they have someone are usually shopping for life. Major red flag bearers. These guys are always looking for the next best thing. They leave the current for the new and on goes the cycle.

I hear you. My thing also is that my heart isn't in it lmao. I don't want anything real. Hell I don't believe in boyfriends. I don't have time for that shit. I'm not looking for love. Just a good time with a crush.. I haven't had a crush in a while so it was supposed to be all in good fun ya know. I'm too young to be tied down or wondering if so and so loves me idgaf. I don't wan to hear the L word lmao. I run. So I figured it would be fun to play the player. I'm going overseas to grad school soon I don't have time for serious feelings... ew lol. I just want him to cooperate with the game hahaha

You don't schitt where you eat getting involved with anybody you work with never is a good idea you as a Scorpio will end up getting hurt then you will start plotting revenge. Yes there is a connection/instant understanding between us Scorp and Cancer we just understand each other.

Posted by FutureSeeker

Posted by Cg2016

Posted by aquarius09
None of you know how to deal with these idiots. They like to be disciplined,and not coddled for their bad behaviour. I think humans in general want someone that is gonna put them in their place for their bad behaviour. When he told you he's seeing someone, you should've said, "Well then cut your sneaky crap out. If you're seeing someone then stop hitting me up like you're single and available!" And your friend who he said that he doesn't really like the girl he's seeing should've also punked him and said, "You're a coward douche and my friend dodged a bullet. Get a backbone and break up with the girl you're seeing if you don't like her". Weak men piss me off.

I understand what you're saying. I totally agree. Here's the thing lmao. When he told me I was like okay that's all you needed to say. Now my friend asked him questions to probe him so I can get the truth so he was recording him without his knowledge so he I could hear it. So that's why he (my gay friend) didn't say that to him. Now the reason I want to lure him back in after his douchebag ways is to be real honest, I want to play. I want to give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe that sounds bad but I wanted to play to begin with but in a we're dating having fun with no strings way buutttt he wants to play games soooo I'll play too. Just gotta lure him back in lol.

Oh come on. You like him. You wouldn't put this much time and energy into him if you "just wanted to play". If you had no emotional attachment you wouldn't be spending the day posting on DXP about it. it seems to me that you are acting like you can one up him because you are scared.

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I think I'm just curious lol. I can't say that I'm scared because well I'm not risking anything. I don't know him enough to like him like him. I do have a crush on him, I've admitted that. I put the topic on here for opinions so I'm open to everything everyone's saying. I'm not even totally over my ex yet so believe me I don't want to be his girlfriend lol. I don't want to be a girlfriend at all ever lmao.

Posted by Stihl46
You don't schitt where you eat getting involved with anybody you work with never is a good idea you as a Scorpio will end up getting hurt then you will start plotting revenge. Yes there is a connection/instant understanding between us Scorp and Cancer we just understand each other.

That's true. I barely see him though. I'm not the revenge type. I think because of my libra moon. It makes me not like confrontation and always want peace lol. I usually just cut my losses. Oh and in edition I'm going away to school overseas in a few months so I guess that's why I didn't care about it being at work.

Posted by FutureSeeker

Posted by Cg2016

Posted by aquarius09
And one thing I realized is that men who claim to be single while acknowledging they have someone are usually shopping for life. Major red flag bearers. These guys are always looking for the next best thing. They leave the current for the new and on goes the cycle.

I hear you. My thing also is that my heart isn't in it lmao. I don't want anything real. Hell I don't believe in boyfriends. I don't have time for that shit. I'm not looking for love. Just a good time with a crush.. I haven't had a crush in a while so it was supposed to be all in good fun ya know. I'm too young to be tied down or wondering if so and so loves me idgaf. I don't wan to hear the L word lmao. I run. So I figured it would be fun to play the player. I'm going overseas to grad school soon I don't have time for serious feelings... ew lol. I just want him to cooperate with the game hahaha

I'm not sure if you actually read what you post- but it's very immature and foolish. We'll still be here for you when you do the FWB thing and are sad because you don't know where you stand with him.
Well you kinda don't know where you stand now, and it's luring you in- Phase 1..:.
Sorry I'm being so blunt.

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I respect you being blunt. I know you're being truthful. I totally see what I'm doing and it's definitely not of the mature variety lmao. My wanting to get to him to play with him because he's a player isn't what good girls looking for love do-- I'm not a good girl looking for love lmaooo. I once was but that's not what I'm on right now. I'm on my I see someone I'm attracted to and I want him the way I want him so how can I get that lol. I didn't have enough characters in the first msg to explain that. I really feel like what I want is pretty simple.

I probably sound horrible, but I didn't write this to not keep it real with yall. I'm gonna try to keep it real even if it sounds like craziness & I appreciate yall being real with me.