cancer man deeply hurt me, scorpio girl - don't understand him - please help!

I'm asking for all your advice here, because I'm totally devastated by a cancer man.

I'm a scorpio girl and met a cancer man via online dating. We talked on the phone for more than 4 months. We became kind of close, but during the whole time he always stayed kind of cool and reserved. He seldom told me nice things. Instead he constantly talked about his ex-girlfriends, How pretty they were and how much he valued them, although they cheated on him or lied to him. I couldn't understand this and since I'm scorpio it also sparked my jealousy. But I kept calm hoping his feelings for me would develop over time. Well after 3 months he finally agreed to meet me half way, so we spend 3 hours together (we live 600 miles apart, so we had to meet in City half way) I picked a nice waterfront restaurant, dressed really nice and had hoped that after seeing me in person, he would finally catch fire and open up a little. During our meeting he was nice, telling me he felt great with me and that there is some kind of special chemistry and connection, he had never felt before. That gave me hope.

But one day after our date, he was back to being distant again. He called me every day, but only for 5-10 minutes and only talked about his job (he's a farmer) I told him I missed him and care for him...Then we talked about me visiting him and his farm in three weeks time. 4 days before my visit he tells me he has to cancel it, due to some unexpected travel plans. I was so devastated and hurt that I told him, I had the feeling this didn't work out between us and hung up the phone on him. I was crying by that time and didn't want him to know it, because he was so cold and mean to me... Well after that, he gave me the silent treatment for 1,5 weeks. I'm not good at this and didn't want things to end this harsh. So I send him an email telling him honestly, that I'm pretty hurt with how things went but that I try to understand that he didn't have the same deep feelings for me, as I had for him. I also wished him all the best for the future and that I want him to be happy. Today I got his devastating answer. First he writes nice stuff, like he really hopes that I'm well. Than he tells me that my hanging up on him really hurt him and that my behavior wasn't acceptable. He even writes that he talked to his friends about me as his "girlfriend" (never ever called me that before) but it's also clear to me that things are over, because he's writing everything in past tense... Now comes the horrible part. At the end he confirms that he was emotionally withdrawing from me, because he didn't want to show his deep feelings for me and that during our whole dating time he had some strange feelings about me not working in Marketing, like I told him, but being a hooker…
How crazy and hurtful is that? I’m a very conservative person, kind of shy with men, dressing classy and never ever gave him the impression that I’m cheap… Is this normal cancer man behavior because he wants to

He does not seem invested. Just leave him alone!

Posted by Impulsv
Ur too good to be true
Must be a hooker to be with him lol
Btw was this the farmer dating site.

Thanx for your nice reply. It helps a little to hear that other people think he's bad for me. And No, we met on some conservative dating site...

A big thank you to you all! Your comments really cheered me up and I will face my heartbreak now with style and try to move on...

He's been living on that farm too long. Does not seem entirely invested either. He may have other interests. Seems out of touch and ignorant too. Sounds like he watches too much television. And doesn't really believe he can find real love or a connection with a healthy woman via internet. Yet he will continue just the same.

As far as the hooker comment; In films or comedy shows oftentimes when asked what she does for a living; a hooker will say she is in sales or marketing.

Find a more progressive male who is seriously looking to find his girl. Good luck.

Well..typical cancer bs...cant stop thinking about their ex..hot and cold..never know where you stand...enjoy the ride dude...or better yet...just get off.

Posted by Arielle83
You know why he couldn't believe you worked in marketing and thought you a hooker?!

Because he uses hookers!

How else would that thought cross his mind? As if the only chicks he knows don't have careers.
Detach from him pronto.

Plus his exes have cheated yet he still values them? Ermmmehhgadd something is totally off.

Hey Arielle, thanks so much for your support, You really spoke my mind... but I was too shocked lately to think clearly. But honestly, who would think such a thing about a nice woman like me, who was anything but honest and nice with him, unless he really goes to hookers. ..
I would have never thought this about him in the first place, because he pretented to be so well educated and said he was looking for a long term relationship...

Well, there goes my good sense of people. Normally I'm really good at reading people, (being a scorpio)... but I guess in this case, I was too confused by his hot and cold behavior, to think straight... Next time I'll be more careful with my heart!

Well, four days have passed since the cancer man dropped the bomb, calling me the worst, without absolutely no reason...
I'm still struggeling a little to move on (weird right?) But whenever I reflect our 4 months dating time, I cannot find one moment or one comment from myself, where I gave him such a crazy impression. On the contrary, I always tried to comfort his dark moods, asked about his day, told him I missed him and send him nice text messages.

Secretly, I might have hoped that he would regret his horrible and hurtful words by now and at least send me an apology after all our time together... Guess it won't happen...because cancers do not apologize often, even if they were wrong, right?
Heartbreak sucks!