Cancer man is breaking my trust ... Help!!! ”

We've been togethe for 3 intense months , having the most amazing time , being so connected and already doing future plans.
Then , a bad thing happened , his ex wife found out about us and she is threatening him with not allowing him to see tge kids anymore and some business they still have together . The worst part is that she hates me because she knows me from before and she thinks I betrayed her . But I never been her friend and I never chased her ex husband . He was the one approaching me and showin how much he respects me and apreciate me since long time ago while he was still married and was just observing me .She cheated on him and he could not forgive her and he left her eventually . He is Cancer , his ex Aquarius and she is a psycho .. she even called me threatening me that she will destroy me ..
After all this drama he told me he needs to take care of all this mess and he will contact me as soon as things will be fixed.. lots of money in the middle and his favourite son. She would be fine her ex husband will date antone else but me .. so she is playing him a lot ..
I started loosing my patience and I can't bare this waiting anymore .. is been already 2 months we cut the contact ( he said he did this to protect me ) . He msg me the other day " I know it's taking longer than we planed, I know u hate me a little but is not what you're thinking " . I told him off I was rude , I pushed his buttons and said nasty things to him .. he said he will not answer my anger , he doesn't want to fire me up even more.. so now he is ignoring me every time I'm trying to fight .
My question is : if he cannot be with me why he doesn't tell me to move on. ?!. I asked him nicely to be honest and I would understand and respect him more , but he keeps quiet.. What does it mean. ?? I already start seeing an Aqua man who makes it easier.. buy I can't hide the frustration this Cancer left in my heart. Why he keeps things hanging in the air ??

Well, that was a lot of drama in a short time! First, you've only had a 3 month relationship, so that's hardly enough to go on with ideas of a forever happily after. Second, he told you to be patient, since apparently his ex wife is giving him major hell (and threatening custody is a big deal), and you can't even handle 2 months of being patient? What's the rush?? If you're both so perfectly in love and in tune, then who cares if the wait is a year? Two months and you've already found another man, so I'd say stay with the new guy and tell the Cancer you've moved on, wish him good luck in life and leave it at that. As a Cancer, if my love interest had already found someone that fast but wanted me to hurry up for them I'd have nothing to do with that person again, because they've proven they have no real loyalty.

Thank you ladies ..he is thinking about money ..simple , and I'm disgusted..he doesn't care about how I feel obviously , and this guy is not a man ..he's a shame .
All o wanted from him was being honest and tell me this is going to take hell of a time ..because kow he needs to gain his ex wife trust again that he's not with me and he's single again , this time paid 4 lawyers for the kidd issue and his business that the crazy psycho ex wife highjacked it .. she doesn't love him , she is just revenging on me ..
I'm seeing someone already not because I'm not patient but because I need to move on from this drama.. I need a friend. ”

And yes , he should've cleaned up the mess in his life before thinking to be with me .. that was selfish and I'm sorry for wasting my time . He didn't tell me the gravity of the situation from the beginning and he took tge risk thinking she will be fine with it ..

But still he won't give up on me and doesnt want to say "it's over ".. maybe he hopes that we will be back to normal eventually , but sorry , my trust in this dude is Gone with the wind...

Posted by 2thinkalike
And yes , he should've cleaned up the mess in his life before thinking to be with me .. that was selfish and I'm sorry for wasting my time . He didn't tell me the gravity of the situation from the beginning and he took tge risk thinking she will be fine with it ..

I am very doubtful every time I hear about "psycho" exes and threatening custody battle.......... 9 times out of 10 is a BS and an excuse...... gain the trust of his ex wife? wasnt she who cheated on him? obviously she has him under her spell.....

so RUN and dont look back........ do you really want a man in your life, who cannot deal with this kind of situations and allows himself to be manipulated? how old are the children involved? how she can deny access to the children? there are vindictive exes, but the man should deal with it....... I would have this kind of ex for breakfast, I would not allow any manipulation.....

@Pandora , he is not lying , I know the situation very well . . She was cheating yes , and he doesn't want her back.. it's a lot of money involved , so she is trying to break us up using the business .. what's so hard to understand ? He is afraid of her. . Which made me lose my respect for him ..

Posted by 2thinkalike
@Pandora , he is not lying , I know the situation very well . . She was cheating yes , and he doesn't want her back.. it's a lot of money involved , so she is trying to break us up using the business .. what's so hard to understand ? He is afraid of her. . Which made me lose my respect for him ..

I don't think he's afraid of HER...he's afraid of losing his hard earned money, his hard work and his child. So he's trying to play it smart. Sorry, but money and kid over everything at this point, including you amd your respect. You've only been around and close to him for a few months.

Do you really think he would choose risking it all to be with you right now...Thays not a smart move, and you should honestly be more understanding. If you really want to be with him, you'd be supporting him through this.

I wouldn't get involved in the drama though. The less you know the better for you both. I would just stay away for now. If you feel like he's worth waiting for, then wait. If not, then tell him you can't take the situation and you're moving on. If you're still available when it's over with, then you can try to pick things back up again.

Amd what I meant by you supporting him through this, is not adding more stress to him and yourself.

@Greentea ur perfectly right .. this is exactly what's happening .. it hurts because is like a dream that turned into a nightmare.. I love him and I was ready even to accept his kid although I don't have my own kids , I'm not a mother .. his son is 8 years old and and a copy of his father .. he said exactly like u that he needs to play smart , I just feel neglected ..I have issues with patience ..
After all Ur answers I decided to send him a msg and told him " hi babe. . Just to let you know I don't hate u and I forgave you . I was hurt but I forgave you. I wish u to be happy".. he is not opening the msgs but I know he can see them on the screen .. he's still quiet , not saying anything. I am so confused. He's silence tells me that it may take longer and he is embarrassed to tell me at this point. . Donno. If I knew from the beginning I would've been prepared psychologically .

He wrote me the other day being a bit offensive ,thinking that I have someone already and I probably moved on , that he was expecting it and too bad , all what we've been going through and all his efforts were in vain and he doubts that I am really serious about us... IMAGINE ppl!!! He dared to tell me that ...
I answered back " you doubt me ?? Are u kidding ? All I did this all time was concentrating on work and truing to be strong and face everything alone while I was feeling miserable and abandoned .."
Then he told me how much he misses me and everything we used to Be together , recalling all the great moments and the way I made him feel.. from our romantic dinners the endless conversations to the morning kisses before he leaves the house leaving me in bed hugging his pillow.. he said I'm on his mind every single day and his feelings for me are Intact and not to worry he has a good plan hes just asking me to be a little more patient (like few more months) ..he told me about his plan and it sounds like a dream ..
I still love him and comparing to other men I meet , no one can take his place ..
Telling me all these and many more , it makes me think he's serious about us ..

Posted by Greentea

Posted by 2thinkalike
@Pandora , he is not lying , I know the situation very well . . She was cheating yes , and he doesn't want her back.. it's a lot of money involved , so she is trying to break us up using the business .. what's so hard to understand ? He is afraid of her. . Which made me lose my respect for him ..

I don't think he's afraid of HER...he's afraid of losing his hard earned money, his hard work and his child. So he's trying to play it smart. Sorry, but money and kid over everything at this point, including you amd your respect. You've only been around and close to him for a few months.

Do you really think he would choose risking it all to be with you right now...Thays not a smart move, and you should honestly be more understanding. If you really want to be with him, you'd be supporting him through this.

click to expand

^^^This.
You said what I was thinking as I was reading the thread.

OP: Since you've already started seeing someone else, I suggest you move on. And I'll leave it at that.

Yes ..I'll continue my life and try to forget this last conversation I had with him yesterday that honestly gave me a lot to think .. I trust my intuition though that he has good intentions for us and if it's our destiny to be together at some point the universe will bring us back ..

he is playing you like a fiddle and to the people that are telling you to wait arounf for this BS are cold blooded idiots.... my who;e life ive only attracted and dated cancer men.... yes you shouldn't have said things you didn't mean however.... don't let that BS guilt trip message get to you.../ he is trying to put the blame on you so you can feel bad for him and hang on longer while he gets on her good side and he could be doing that in many ways trust me... also your relationship is not effecting what he has going on with her... if he didn't want the ex wife to know he could have came up with a solution to keep things more private till he gets it undercontrol not put up a brick wall saying fuck your feelings completely... you deserve better. you have no time invested so move on or just wait around till he is done pleasing his ex wife which will be never because as soon as he stops and gives you the time of day she will get mad again... your allowing a messed up pattern already in the beginning that you will regret... open your eyes

Well what he is saying is that he's just playing his part until he gets the last signature and so far things are going smoothly .. I forgot to mention that she was calling my work and sending me many msgs from different numbers just to make sure I'm out of his life .. she is a phychopath and he is struggling to keep me safe as well .. I cannot give full details but I know her and I know what he's goug through.. all I know is that he is Dreaming to get out of that nightmare .. and as soon as the business will be secured she has no chance to interfere anymore.

@finbuff thank u for ur comment .. yes , all the ingredients are there .. but in the same time , because I never been in this situation before I'm confused and scared .. I don't want to be played .. although what kind of man would do that ? He is a really nice and aducated person.

Yes , 100% ... I told him already about the whole thing and I'm very precocious. He reassured me and told me to believe in him, that his feelings are Intact and he doesn't want to hurt me.
Phisical part will be secondary for sure .