Cancers are quite cute!

When the cancer guy got sick he asked if I was going to cook for him and look after him... be next to him and cater all his needs... and I found that very weird at first lol cause with my other exs, when we became sick (cold? flu? or whatever?) we just decided not to see each other for a while till we got better, cause if it was cold or flu then we didn't want the other to catch it lol and well, if one was sick and not in a state to enjoy our time together (we mostly spent our time outside, doing tons of different activities) why meet and suffer - as in I just sit there doing nothing (cause me being there wouldn't really help/cure his cold/flu... I would just let them rest so they get better soon!) and he feeling bad about himself that he could not be on move with me 🙂 And people tend to get cranky when they are feeling unwell, so maybe being apart will save everyone some unnecessary unpleasantness/clashes.
So we just left each other alone when one was not feeling well or sick. Not that we just did not care about the other lol (it was not true!) but rather just giving the other person time to rest and relax, just check how they were doing by texting and calling... of course, sometimes I stayed beside them but when there was something I could really do to make them feel better. For example, my ex and I were on a road trip then he got sick because the A/C stopped working and he could not put up with the heat, I hand fanned him for like an hour lol I thought my arms were going to fall off! 🙂

However, with this cancer guy, it seemed that he just wanted me to be there when he was not feeling well. It was like as if he wanted me to be his mum lol Cook for him, look after him, just sitting next to his sick bed, coddle him... lol
As I wrote above, I found it weird at first (because it was just so different from what I had so far experienced with my exs), but later I became used to it and now I even think it's quite endearing lol He is a big man, a grown up, but sometimes he acts like a baby... heheh 😛

The problem is - I can't cook 😆 I might try, but I don't want to give him food poisoning, especially he's already sick!

So cancer men, do you like it when your women baby you?

Cancer's are so worth the effort I think, they are totally the type of people to nurture and look after you- first and without having to ask...
so they generally deserve a bit of care and affection in my opinion.
My Cancer gal pal has been there for me a lot lately, regardless of my walls being up or me not reaching out, she just knows and does.
Doing people - very much so.
xxixxi I think it's really sweet he wants you around, big softy lol

My guy loves to be mothered. He was never properly mothered while growing up so I often wonder if that's the reason he likes (and needs) it now.

Ah and this cancer guy listens to me for like hours when I'm troubled... yeah, of course my other exs did that for me, too, but then course, we were in a relationship, and that's what a couple does for each other! lol This cancer guy isn't my boyfriend but he still listens to me and I think that's really awesome, cause other guys I am speaking to don't that for me lol (and that is why I just post threads on this forum, like 'only this forum' lol -the other guys are like aquarius, libra, virgo and capricorn- because it is not that hard to read other guys, and yeah, that makes things boring for me) I say the other guys don't do (listening to me when I'm gushing out my emotions?), mainly because they and I haven't known each other for a long time, but still, this cancer guy listened to me, my problems when we just started getting to know each other. Astrology says cancers are empathetic and even though my experience with cancers is limited to this guy only lol but I really think the statement is quite true.

It's not like he's giving me advice or a practical help (that is what I mostly end up doing when I'm listening to others with problems... myself being a gemini-cancer cusp, I think when it comes to communication I have more geminian traits -probably it's so because I have gemini mercury as well-), but he just listens to me and at times just knows what's really going on my mind (despite what I say outwardly -because even when I am in the middle of emoting lol I may be not entirely telling the truth. I just can't help thinking and analysing, and I filter out what I should say/confide or should not in a fear of making a fool of myself, now or later in the future-), so intuitive and calming... have never experienced these qualities in other men so far, except this guy.

And strangely, after sharing my feelings/emotions most guys became distant for a while (eventually they came around though), but it seemed it actually pulled this cancer guy closer. I myself do not like sharing feelings/emotions because well, after having done that I feel somewhat silly about myself lol and I become awkward... and the situation becomes awkward... I don't know what to say any more and I'd hate that(losing my tongue)! lol

So... I'd say this cancer guy is different from other guys I have met so far, but different in an interesting way and I just would like to learn more about crabs! 🙂

I won't lie I don't know how to be taken care of. My lady friends think I'm some weirdo because I don't do the usual "can you grab me drink? Or can you make me a sammich?" I'm always offering to help so to answer your question I suppose it would be nice but I honestly wouldn't know how to ask.

The more I learn about crabs, the more I become convinced that we are not really compatible lol

A few days ago, I said to my cancer guy 'I don't think I really know you...' and he said 'how come do you say that? I think we know each other pretty well...' I said 'well, maybe we shared some interests of each own, but beside those I can't say I know you as a person lol,' his answer to this 'really? I think I know you quite well.' And I said 'But I really did not talk to you much... well, we really did not have much conversation! (my thinking was like 'if you don't talk/have conversations, how would you learn about the other person?'...and yes, this is why I always asking tons of questions and being inquisitive, so that I get to know you!) Then he said 'okay, then ask me any questions you'd like to, and I will answer.'
I was like 'ugh... that is not how a conversation is supposed to be...? I'm not here to interrogate you? A conversation must flow without one even noticing s/he's making it?' He said 'but then you always ask me questions! whether I want or not! lol so now... I'm ready, so throw me any of your questions?' ...and I tried just to do so, but it just did not feel natural lol so I ended up just asking dull, pointless questions lol
But seriously, it's like when I ask him real questions like how he thinks about me, he just does not give me a direct answer! lol And I pester him lol and he finally says 'must I say flat out? I'm speaking to you daily - does it not show that I'm interested in you?'

Then (after speaking to him) I started writing down whys - why he and I cannot work out... and so many items lol, like 8 items on the list. I had this idea (materialising the items) floating in my head for a while, but being gemini-procrastinating, did not get on the task up till recently.
After that I made another list of whys - this time, why he and I can work out... and just two items! lol
Now I compare those numbers of items... and get a picture. Hmmmm 🙂
I might fool myself into believing that I could try to improve those 8 why nots, hoping to turn them into why-it-cans, but then be reasonable... I don't really see it happening lol (despite how much I wanted it to be otherwise... facts are facts and logic is logic)

So I stopped contacting him lol I was really ready to move on.
And then... this cancer guy started texting me much and oftener... like he sensed that I was really walking off for good. I was like 'good god, please don't do that! I don't want to go into a war which I could not possibly win.'
(why this guy always comes back when I'm just about to pull/walk away? is that infamous mind games of cancers? -and please do not take offense or take it personally. I just noticed lots of people have mentioned it on this board lol-)

I have been so far the initiator (but not only with this guy, I am generally shy, but when it comes to relationships, I say I am quite aggressive. Don't know why), but now he's the one. I guess I'll take it as long as he keeps it up/or disappears on me again - then I guess, I'll be really free - to move on.
(you disappear on me once, twice - three times, you are out)

Posted by xxixxi
So I stopped contacting him lol I was really ready to move on.

On cue...how long did that take Gem, a week?...lol, this is why i said Gems and Cancers are not good for eachother. Gems are too flaky.

Posted by xxixxi
And then... this cancer guy started texting me much and oftener... like he sensed that I was really walking off for good. I was like 'good god, please don't do that! I don't want to go into a war which I could not possibly win.'
(why this guy always comes back when I'm just about to pull/walk away? is that infamous mind games of cancers? -and please do not take offense or take it personally. I just noticed lots of people have mentioned it on this board lol-)

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No mind games, he was just warming up to you but you have already flaked...lol.

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by xxixxi
So I stopped contacting him lol I was really ready to move on.

On cue...how long did that take Gem, a week?...lol, this is why i said Gems and Cancers are not good for eachother. Gems are too flaky.

Posted by xxixxi
And then... this cancer guy started texting me much and oftener... like he sensed that I was really walking off for good. I was like 'good god, please don't do that! I don't want to go into a war which I could not possibly win.'
(why this guy always comes back when I'm just about to pull/walk away? is that infamous mind games of cancers? -and please do not take offense or take it personally. I just noticed lots of people have mentioned it on this board lol-)

No mind games, he was just warming up to you but you have already flaked...lol.

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Heheheh I admit I am quite flaky! lol

If you looked at my lists, you might understand where I am coming from. Or maybe not lol

Despite what my head says (he and I are possibly not going to work out), I am indeed aware what my heart says, otherwise.
This is tough for me as well! I am trying to learn the virtue of being patient, but it's quite a new concept to me lol and if I seem to rush things too much, do please forgive me lol as much as for typical cancers to open up & be vulnerable, it is hard for me to take things slow - it's the curse of being a gemini, I guess 🙂 but then I am gemini-cancer cusp, wish I had more cancer traits, so I could just understand my cancer guy better and with more ease! 🙂

I thank you for your comment, I liked it! 😄

Posted by xxixxi


Heheheh I admit I am quite flaky! lol

If you looked at my lists, you might understand where I am coming from. Or maybe not lol

Despite what my head says (he and I are possibly not going to work out), I am indeed aware what my heart says, otherwise.
This is tough for me as well! I am trying to learn the virtue of being patient, but it's quite a new concept to me lol and if I seem to rush things too much, do please forgive me lol as much as for typical cancers to open up & be vulnerable, it is hard for me to take things slow - it's the curse of being a gemini, I guess 🙂 but then I am gemini-cancer cusp, wish I had more cancer traits, so I could just understand my cancer guy better and with more ease! 🙂

I thank you for your comment, I liked it! 😄

Look it all depends on what you want from this. If he is a pretty boy of the kind that gems keep getting attracted to every second day, then move fast on the sex and get it out of the system. The reason I am saying this is because the longer you stay in this and convince yourself that you want a relationship the bigger mindfuck this is going to be. So do yourself a favour and be real to yourself, do you truly want a relationship or just bang? I know gem chicks are cool with the just bang...I like that about gems.

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by xxixxi


Heheheh I admit I am quite flaky! lol

If you looked at my lists, you might understand where I am coming from. Or maybe not lol

Despite what my head says (he and I are possibly not going to work out), I am indeed aware what my heart says, otherwise.
This is tough for me as well! I am trying to learn the virtue of being patient, but it's quite a new concept to me lol and if I seem to rush things too much, do please forgive me lol as much as for typical cancers to open up & be vulnerable, it is hard for me to take things slow - it's the curse of being a gemini, I guess 🙂 but then I am gemini-cancer cusp, wish I had more cancer traits, so I could just understand my cancer guy better and with more ease! 🙂

I thank you for your comment, I liked it! 😄

Look it all depends on what you want from this. If he is a pretty boy of the kind that gems keep getting attracted to every second day, then move fast on the sex and get it out of the system. The reason I am saying this is because the longer you stay in this and convince yourself that you want a relationship the bigger mindfuck this is going to be. So do yourself a favour and be real to yourself, do you truly want a relationship or just bang? I know gem chicks are cool with the just bang...I like that about gems.

click to expand

Hmmmm I say the first time I saw him it was a physical attraction, after all, I met him through an online site and well, how much could you know about a person when you just could look at their pics and a few paragraphs of self introduction?
I messaged him, we chatted, and I thought it was an one time thing... but then it happened again. We talked again exchanged our phone numbers.

He lives on the other side of the world, so even if I want to bang him, it's not likely going to happen - any time soon, at least. He did invited me over to his place in England. I said yes, and when I was about to book my tickets, he said it was not the right time and so on. I backed off - no point of insisting on seeing him if he did not want to meet me. Then he disappeared on me - for like two whole months. Then he came back out of blue... by that time I had moved on - and can you honestly blame me when the thing between him and me was like just 'a thing in the air', i.e., no promises and with n

o promises and with no talk of where we stood back then -I initiated the talk but he said he did not want to take things too fast, so I left the topic there-, then he went off like poof! without any notice... and it wasn't like I could contact him otherwise than messaging him or emailing him, because he was not living in/or near my area. I did emailed him after his disappearance but did not hear anything from him for those two months. What other choice could I possibly have had? - I just had to move on. I think it's a different from a case which two people were actually in a relationship then the guy disappeared on his girl, with that case you would know at least where you were and could consider the option - I might need to wait for him to come around on his term. I had no such option... he just left me without a word and should I just sit around and wait, like, for ever? No... at least, that was what I believed back then. And he himself even said that me being single that I had every right to enjoy it and date other guys. He'd said we were far away and he wanted someone whom he could run down the street and meet on a regular basis - and I saw his point. We weren't dating or anything, so he was right.

Then he came back. As if nothing had happened. I was confused, but then let it go, because my heart said so, I was genuinely happy that he came back. I won't lie. I disliked his sudden disappearing act, but despite that, I was still attracted to him, which I could not deny. And I was curious as in what he had to say (after all, I'm gemini... the curiosity of mine will kill me someday, really. I've almost got myself killed once or twice because of that already)

After that we had a sort of argument (which wasn't one in my book, but then I've heard that cancers are quite sensitive, so I guess I've probably hurt his feelings or...?), then he disappeared on me again. That was the second time and actually I thought 'oh, well, he's gone again. I guess this is it? (back then I wasn't really keen to these all astrological stars sign stuff, so to me, he just came across as a guy who was harder than the most guys I had ever dealt with)' Too bad, cause I liked him, but well, sometimes things just do not work out... so I decided to go on with my life.

Then we reconciled... he came back. He said 'sorry,' this time as well, like the last time.
By then, I developed some walls around me (not only cancers build up those walls lol. I do not want to get hurt, have my

heart broken, too, just like any other human being. People say geminis give their hearts -maybe- too freely, but then it does not necessarily mean that their hearts should be taken lightly and are immune to damage. I give my heart freely, because that's the way how I work around when I like someone... I give it, knowing that there's a possibility that it will be crushed and worse, used, abused, but I cannot stop being what I am in the end), thinking that 'well, he disappears again and again, I guess I'll just have to prepare myself for that sudden, but inevitable and possibly permanent departure from his end... and I will not be sad nor will I cry when he walks off again. I will not get too much attached to him... because I don't want to get hurt. I must protect myself.' (maybe this has something to do with my venus? I have cancer venus)

He has shown me other good stuff... not just being a pretty boy, but he listened to me when I was troubled and yes, it's true that cancers are caring people in general. I like that about him. He's sensitive, gentle and empathetic... different from me, but in a good way. But then I think the differences are maybe too much and like as you said, he and I will probably end up hurting each other. I do not want that to happen. So I tried to walk away. If he needs to protect himself, then I do, too. I want a relationship with him but I doubt there's a possibility... if you want to look at the lists, then I could PM you them. They are rather embarrassing, so that's why I did not post them here lol... Sometimes I wish he just wanted me for my body (maybe he does, maybe not, I've no idea, he does not tell me anything directly and I just feel like a fool for being unable to read him... like I said before, I wish I had more cancerian traits? lol)

Yes, I want a relationship with this guy and want to bang him, too! lol Okay, seriously...

Posted by xxixxi

Hmmmm I say the first time I saw him it was a physical attraction, after all, I met him through an online site and well, how much could you know about a person when you just could look at their pics and a few paragraphs of self introduction?
I messaged him, we chatted, and I thought it was an one time thing... but then it happened again. We talked again exchanged our phone numbers.

He lives on the other side of the world, so even if I want to bang him, it's not likely going to happen - any time soon, at least. He did invited me over to his place in England. I said yes, and when I was about to book my tickets, he said it was not the right time and so on. I backed off - no point of insisting on seeing him if he did not want to meet me. Then he disappeared on me - for like two whole months. Then he came back out of blue... by that time I had moved on - and can you honestly blame me when the thing between him and me was like just 'a thing in the air', i.e., no promises and with n

Don't waste your time anymore on this guy...you're definitely not the flake in this story.

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by xxixxi

Hmmmm I say the first time I saw him it was a physical attraction, after all, I met him through an online site and well, how much could you know about a person when you just could look at their pics and a few paragraphs of self introduction?
I messaged him, we chatted, and I thought it was an one time thing... but then it happened again. We talked again exchanged our phone numbers.

He lives on the other side of the world, so even if I want to bang him, it's not likely going to happen - any time soon, at least. He did invited me over to his place in England. I said yes, and when I was about to book my tickets, he said it was not the right time and so on. I backed off - no point of insisting on seeing him if he did not want to meet me. Then he disappeared on me - for like two whole months. Then he came back out of blue... by that time I had moved on - and can you honestly blame me when the thing between him and me was like just 'a thing in the air', i.e., no promises and with n

Don't waste your time anymore on this guy...you're definitely not the flake in this story.

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Lol I think I just should walk off then... 🙂