contradicting cancer

what happens when a cancer guy contradicts himself, more than once, in the same conversation ?

basic example:

A few weeks ago: i cant wait to see you and kiss you i miss you, i want to be close to you, as close as [some friend crazy in love with bf]. i want to do so many things with you!

afterwards:-

First:i met someone and love at first moment;if you are here [with me], you'd ruin everything
second: actually im dunno if i do care about her more than i care about you
third: you DO mean something to me
fourth:i fucked up
fifth: girls are troublesome
sixth: maybe i should just let 'her' go - cos she over reacted over things


esp appreciated help by cancerbuddy!!


something fishy is going on here

I just went out with a friend of mine last night and saw 4 Christmases... the first half was hilarious, but you the last half was pretty realistic. You should check it out. There is a good moral to the story and I think it would help you (pretty much they were together for 3 years [not the case with you] and they realized how much they hadn't shared with each other... things they didn't feel were relevant to their relationship... the movie had a happy ending, but that's why its a movie... real life isn't always so sweet or realistic for that matter).

If LK is right (though its not definite, it is possible), I'm sorry for you. But the best moral to the story didn't have anything to do with their relationship... it had to do with who people would rather spend Christmas with. People who's love you don't have to question will make the holidays much more pleasant for you. Let him do whatever he's going to... worry about making you happy.

Yep like Lk said...several of us forewarned you, I can't say it enough as a few others told you, find somewhere else to go for the holidays, this guy impulsively invited you up, you bought your ticket and your stuck trying to figure out what to do because that's YOUR MONEY he's playing with, he invited you in the heat of the moment and there was no way he could back out so now he has to come clean, more than likely he was dating this girl while he was pursuing you and now he's confused because he wants to see you but their will be major conflict for him, he caused the drama and doesn't know how to clean it up.

What you do is your business but I promise you it will be the worst Christmas trip you will ever have in your entire life lol....tell him good luck with his new love, stop talking to him until he can figure things out for himself...

yeeeeeesh man-boys you will pull all your dayum hair out trying to figure him out...you can't take this guy seriously EVER, all you can do is be his friend but personally I wouldn't even DO THAT, he's undeserving and you are absolutely fricken adorably beautiful and NEVER should you put up with BULLSHIT....he's young, he's confused and he's having fun stringing women along...you 2 aren't the only ones he's doing this to

=D the example doesnt necessarily apply to yours truly. I'm as cool as ice=P

lol@LK she's young, she's only going to learn thru her own experiences, I think it's a sucky way to start off the new year but hey...to each her own

Relax, its not like the end of the world! Besides,Im a capricorn, I do things my way, some times you cant understand. No, my plans haven't changed=D

LOL she knows LK let her go and embarrass herself, she wants to waste her x-mas chasing a man that doesn't want her then let her have at it, I'm sure there are better things to do like spend time with people who love her *shrugs*

Have the two of you () considered that she might be trying to beat him at his own game and make him feel sorry for what he is doing? There is potential for that kind of motive if she believes what you suggest to be true. Not that I agree with that kind of behavior (I think that behavior like that is immature)... but she never said why she is still going to go.

Alternatively...
They say a wise (wo)man learns from the mistakes of others...
and a fool learns from his(/her) own mistakes.
'They' are only so right when they say that.
I can only learn so much from the mistakes of others, but first-hand experience answers the 'why' that observation alone cannot. If she is adamant about doing things her own way, don't beat her up for it.

And LK... you know we don't beef with each other, but I think that after the
"and yet....i bet you still will go.
human weakness. how to kick yourself in the shins."
statement... you have earned the right to throw an 'I told you so' out there if she comes back to the boards after Christmas boo-hooing about something that happened. Trying to drill it into a 20yr old's head (speaking from experience) either falls on deaf ears or causes rebellion.

Hey I was once 20 and I made dumb mistakes and I'm still alive and kicking, the only problem I see is that 3 weeks is a long ass time to get subjected to rejection/emotional abuse, he's not going to spend time with her at least not the kind of time she wants.....the only way she can get him back is to turn her back on him, that's the best revenge, she's going to embarrass herself if he puts her out in a couple days, please make sure you have enough money to get a hotel/hostel..it's a huge change he doesn't show up at the airport because he's clear that he's involved with another and that is who he's going to spend his time with

I believe most of us wanted to save her from embarrassment but she's made up her mind and I hope something good comes out of it for her

typo...meant to say huge chance

who says im gonna stick around for 3 damn weeks still?

i know you arses are beating me up, throwing me down like dat - i know people like you. Instead of encouraging and hoping for the best, you ppl like being negative. imthrough with ppl like you.

as far as I m concern, so far Ive done things by myself. sure i asked advice left and right but im not obliged to follow.

who has never seek aid when theyre down? its human nature. but that doesnt mean that she will automatically swallow whatever pill went her way - when she wants to do things her own way, in spite of what she has been told.

you dont know me enough to judge what I want to do with my life. all im asking is a basic question, that might also happen to anybody else.

you lot dont know whats going on to directly judge me and criticise what im gonna do or what.


so much for being tolerant and open minded

out

I actually did wish you well and told you I hoped something good comes out of it, excuse us or shall I say excuse me for being insensitive but you must know most of us have been were you are and we know what's down the end of that road thus it seems we are beating you up but in all honesty it's more about watching a child cause themselves pain and feeling helpless because we all know we are unable to help you without infringing upon your freedom to do as you wish and at the same time showing a bit of stern empathy. I do hope something good comes out of it for you...my apologies if I seemed offensive and good luck

And DC your only saying were being negative because were not ENCOURAGING you to hurt yourself. Who would we be if we did that? It's hard to tolerate stupidity but yet we still try to help maybe the way we help is the problem, for every positive thing I can say about your situation, there is 5 negatives behind it...if you really want everyone to speak to you with kid gloves and only talk about the positives then I will def keep that in mind when your asking for help in understanding men

"i know you arses are beating me up, throwing me down like dat - i know people like you. Instead of encouraging and hoping for the best, you ppl like being negative. imthrough with ppl like you."

...wow I wasn't aware I was that kind of person, but thanks for enlightening me. I was actually trying to defend you. Oh well...

Thank you for your kind words.

exactly the kinds words i meant lk

but in case u cant tell, thats sarcasm =)


you can be kind but not undermining or humiliating ppl you know. goes to show whose stubborn.

i may or may not follow your advice(s) at my own accord and whatever decision i make, im not obliged to report it to you.

i do not agree that we need "more of that two timing behavior and degradation in the world."


damn, you are so dead on thinking im gonna go all gooey over some guy lol. grow up. yours truly have a mind of her own and can fend for herself.


your way of giving advice just gives the wrong meaning to "girl power"


ciao

DC good luck to you! I let you know upfront if I was 20 and it was ME, I would just go with the flow. That is the ONLY way you will learn.

I dont want to sound mean but ...


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH


My friend was right, the relationship between leo and cancer lasted just for a few months, as he had said.

Cancer and I were talking,like really talking just now..which reminds me again of how sweet he can be..But I have my OWN cancer man to tend to now =D

truly, what goes around, comes around..