Do they ever make the first move?

I am a cappie gal (with venus in Saggitarius/Scorpio, it's on a cusp or so I believe) attracted to a cancerian male (with venus in Virgo). I have the impression that he likes me, but am not certain. He sends a lot of hints/double messages. Is this normal for a cancerian? Is he ever going to admit it, if at all?? I am a typical cappie that fears rejection big time, so I can understand to a certain extent. I really DON'T want to make the first move. I am so confused😢 He'll talk to me for long, and then disappear for weeks😢 and then, pop in some day. Gosh, I HATE cancerians!!!😢 What do you guys think—

if we like you, you will know and i usually make the first move.

guess he's just flirting....mehhhh....😢

or may be it's b/c I want him to like me....hmmm....

it also depends on how long you have know each other. it takes me a little while to feel someone out so yeah i like to flirt and throw out feelers. just relax and go with the flow. he will come to you when he feels comfortable.

well, we have never met! We've been talking online for over a year now. He's just too paranoid...hahahahaha...is this a Cancerian trait too— Also, it doesn't help that he's over 2500 miles from where I am......I am not hoping much, but I wish there was something from his end too. Don't know why, but there's something about him that keeps attracting me to him. Even if I don't talk to him for days, and get all mad, I can't help but give in when he's back! Eisssshhhhh!!! Is it b/c he's my polar opposite??:S

well from my experience with previous cancers, it really seems like they hide their feelings....AND they do it well! I don't like to play guessing games i'm completely honest with my feelings! However they do say *OPPOSITES ATTRACT

They do. However, Cancers hide their feelings until they feel that they can trust U enough to release their feelings. Once you stick around a bit, they come out of that shell! Oh and don't tell a Cancer U have feelings. BIG NO NO. It is not even good to show it.

That's what I thought too....but now, I am all confused too....😢 damn those cancerians....am a Cappie btw....

we like it when you tell us how you feel because it helps us feel secure..i think krobe03 doesn't want to show her feelings cause she is scared of getting sucked in by the cancer charm...you know i still love you krobe03 :-)

Ok,
Cansir,
Now, I know what is has gotta B!

Well, alot of things contradict here. You telling them you're feelings makes them more secure and want to come out of their shell.. then
"They do. However, Cancers hide their feelings until they feel that they can trust U enough to release their feelings. Once you stick around a bit, they come out of that shell! Oh and don't tell a Cancer U have feelings. BIG NO NO. It is not even good to show it."

How else are they going to feel less rejected and want to put themselves out there more if you show no or little interest? Oh, this complexity, the sole reason I'm in love with cancers.

huh— clearly, I am in love with the wrong sign!!! lmao!!

Crudemood,

Hi krobe,

How else are they going to feel less rejected and want to put themselves out there more if you show no or little interest? Oh, this complexity, the sole reason I'm in love with cancers.

Cansir says U need 2 show your feelings more 2 make Cancers feel more secure. I krobe said that I don't share my feelings in the beginning 2 ANY males, however, I have myself noticed with the 1 particular Cancer guy, that I am talking about, opens up 2 me more when I do show 2 much emotional drama! I have feelings. However, if he wants me 2 express MY feelings, he needs 2 express his. He expressed his feelings for the beginning all I had to do was shut the hell up and he was on front street!

I meant, 2 much emotional drama! No 2 much. I open up more when he shares his feelings!

So then are you gonna meet him or not?

sarasa I mean.

All I can say is SSSLLLOOOOWWW DDOOWWNN. That oughta cut the sob stories in half (No Offence to all of course!)

All I can say is SSSLLLOOOOWWW DDOOWWNN. That oughta cut the sob stories in half (No Offence to all of course!

Do U mean slow down as in don't try 2 rush or pressure anything. Or slow down us ladies R moving way 2 fast 4 U Cancers men?

"Do U mean slow down as in don't try 2 rush or pressure anything" Is spot on, but the 2nd on has some merit to it as well. I quote Diana Ross and then Phil Collins: "You Can't Hurry Love". Nice tune for the times!

What's up Redrovertoo,

Krobe, I love you, and I think you do have what it takes, but you have not yet started a physical relationship with Cancer. In the beginning, they are completly different. Every women on here will tell you how they pursue you, they are charming, sexy, they MUST have a committment. You give in and they are gone. They come back but if YOU can't handle that..say goodbye.

Yeah, I already know, Yeah, I already NO, however, try not 2 give into commitment and C if he does not stop all these "behavior" patterns. He will become alot more steady and predictable with his so called traits. I think it works out better if U don't give into the commitment. He will open that shell alot more, because of the lack of pressure U R putting out there. The sex may be worth the wait! On the inside of that shell, YEAH, these R really some get to know guys. U have 2 know how to handle those cards!

redrovertoo and luckystar i appreciate the kind words and that is what life is all about, helping and learning from one another and their experiences. also, maybe getting someone to think in a different way. might not be the right way but a different way about people and situations because when you have been with somone or a sitution to long it is easy to have tunnel vision. getting on here and explaining your situation in hopes of getting some clarification is noble. we all try to figure out our own problems by ourselves but sometimes to no avail. so sometimes reaching out to other people who might be able to give us a different perspective and maybe help get our sanity back is a good thing. yes we cancer men get a bad rap and justifiably so because we can be moody, insecure, insensitive,etc..but that is how we protect ourselves. remember the old saying "never let them see your weakness". well that is cancer to a "t". but deep down we are very sensitive, caring, loving people. and i know getting to that spot in a cancer is the hard part. but in the end it is worth it cause you will be with someone who will try to steal every star in the sky and give it to you.

redrovertoo we joke in a personal way like him talking about your hair style because he likes you. i am very guilty of that but i also tell the people i am joking around like that with is that when i stop joking with you that is the time to worry because that means i am tired of you and you are not worth my time anymore. so instead of taking it personal come back with some silly little comment back at him. if he can't take it then tell him not to dish it out if he can't take it back in. i know it is hard but try not to take things to personally. remember we act bold, rash , and sarcastic because it is a defense we have in us by not letting people get to close to us until we feel we can trust them with our feelings. but like abcr2 said have patience and understanding with us :-)

Oh Redrovertoo,

Cancers R attracted 2 slow moving creatures! Capricorns! Been with a Capricorn 4 10.6 years of my life. They don't like 2 rush and do NOTHING! U have 2 earn their hearts. They R the slowest moving creatures on earth as far as giving away their hearts. Actually ALL earth creatures R, however, I think Caps R the worst. I figure if they R attracted 2 slow moving creatures then why not take everything real slow! As in not try to swim upstream just 2 get 2 destination 0. Talk 2 him, however, don't give in to the sexual acts. Don't B so flattered with the charm. I am not a sexual contact! Period! I don't do flings. My sex has to MEAN something 2 me and the person I am with. Until we are mentally on the same level (Me and Cancer) then we can't become physical. I have explained this 2 him, recently. He is now alot more predictable than he was when the game first started. SO I have to B patient and not rush into nothing with him. SO he must B willing to wait, because we click on a great level now.

redrovertoo i also feel you when you say you have to be the type of person who can deal with us no matter how wonderful we are. i feel that way with my exvirgal. i still care about her but i just don't think we are made for each other no matter how strong the bond. we just see things differently and that is okay. it is relationships like this that help understand what we want and don't want from a partner. it also helps us figure out how much we are willing to put up with. life is full of lessons good and bad so don't miss the opportunity to learn no matter how mad, frustrated, sad, or happy you are..

i am here to help you try and understand us cancers because i know we can be complicated. so feel free to send a pm or simply post. but remember cancers do have certain traits but regardless of the sign as yall know peoples life experiences play a big role in how one acts or treats other people.

krobe03, you know i love you too 😉

krobe03, you know i love you too 😉
LOL, Cansir U know I love U 2! C Redrovertoo, this is how 2 get the Cancer guys 2 come out and tell U they love U without running! LOL!

yes krobe03, you have found your way into a complicated cancers heart..haha..

Hi ppl

Can I add another perspective to the topic ? I need some advice on how to approach (ie flirt) my cancer colleague. Should I expect her to make a move or she will be more hidden in the shell due to the working environment ? Should moves such as niggling, touching, asking for a massage (yes she did) mean something or is it within cancer's social way of breaking the ice with colleagues ?

My ex was a cancer so I believe I know cancers somehow but that was back in the uni, now I can't just make a move with a colleague. I'm confused a bit on whether I should show some emotions/interest as krobe03 said not to. Actually she's about to leave for a long period of holiday so I'm thinking of making a first indirect move by messaging her on her facebook, not through office email system, to wish a nice holiday and say that "we" will miss her, sounds bad ?

When I did sthg similar with my ex she responded very directly (that's how we started being together), I suppose I should approach her from the side such as a crab walks !

redrovertoo, i love older women 😉 you and your hair look beautiful so be happy with who you are. depending on his tone, i am telling you that he is poking fun at you because he still cares. you will know when a cancer doesn't like you or is done with you..

tas you have to make the first move to let her know it is okay for her to make a move back. yes you are opening the door for her to feel comfortable with you. i hope i am right since i am not a cancer woman but that works well with men which i know you are not interested in hearing..lol..

Redrovertoo,
I live in GA! Where do U live?

Hey Redrovertoo,
I plan on traveling soon! Real soon! I want to travel across the USA and I will keep WA in mind! I have a high demanding job, that healthcare agencies R willing 2 pay me top $ $ $ $ to travel. Everything else is free 4 me. Housing, bills, rental car, food everything. I will never have 2 worry about necess again in my life. That is the main reason Y I want 2 to B single again. SO that I can go ahead and do the dam thing with my life. So Yeah, I already want to go to CA everywhere esp while it is free 4 me.

wow! this thread is still alive, great😄....
So, someone asked me if I was going to meet him. I doubt that it will happen, b/c I don't think he wants to. I honestly don't understand him. I mean, the guy was talking to me pretty much everyday for a year now until about a month ago. He's in school at the moment and claims that his schedule and mine don't match and with the time difference and all, he ain't online that much....I say BS!!! It can't be that hard to show up and say Hi over the w/e! How come I am always the one who will send an email or call or leave an offliner to see how he's doiing— Mind you, I dont do this all the time, b/c I know it freaks cancerians out or so I think. But anyways, I always thought that he had a little thing for me b/c of certain things he'd say jokingly or sarcastically and even the fact that he used to spend so much time talking to me! In my experience, no guy spends so much time unless if he's interested. May be he just had a lot of time to kill??:S or he was fooling around?? or he realised what he was getting into and freaked out and now is backing off?? who knows—.....he for sure is pissing me off rite now, just that I never show him that/or tell him so....so, yeh it is sorta killing me inside just not knowing if he feels the same way or not....but at the same time, I am keeping myself busy with other things and so, it's hard for me to notice....if it's destined to happen, it will...otherwise, I guess I will realise it and move on....or may be I'll just lose interest eventually....sorta like when you want something so bad and when u finally see it going somewhere, you lose interest and no longer long for it....mehhh....I don't even make sense these days....anyways...thanks to everyone for some input on this....and good luck with your trials and tribulations in dealing with cancerians....

sarasa

I don't even make sense these days....anyways...thanks to everyone for some input on this....and good luck with your trials and tribulations in dealing with cancerians....

Yeah,
However this is indeed a Cancer trait. U have 2 have patience! Period! He is a man, he is out doing this that men at his age do. It is not that U R not on his mind, he is a young man and he probably does not want 2 settle down, with not just U, any woman. U have 2 understand this. Keep busy. Do your thing. Stay out of the way, and don't "ACT" like U want 2 B his woman. And if possible, don't give up that sex! This will surely keep him around if U know he wants it. Just B patient! I know it can get frustrated, however, I said this before. Cancers R attracted(opposite) 2 slow moving creatures. Capricorns. Tough 2 get 2 their hearts. U have 2 hang around 4 a long time and it will not B until they R completely SURE that U R the 1 before they start 2 open up. They move REAL SLOW. SO just back up and move slow. Don't push or pressure anything! Let nature take its course. Let him have his space. Period! Girl U need 2 B me. I am like "U want space huh?" LOL! I give alot of space. LOL! He will have 2 come back 2 me if he takes off 4 too much! I don't mind either because it gives me a chance 2 get my thoughts back together! If I am mad about something he has said or done, then by the time he comes back around. I am over it. Give him space. B less available with YOUR time. Don't let him B less available with his. Reverse it!

Yeah, I like to give him space...b/c that gives me time to get my thoughts together...I am liek that too....but it bugs me to not know if "I am on his mind" at all....b/c I ain't got time to wait around for someone who may not even be interested. It's not like I am pursuing other potential relationships...but I'm very honest/straightforward and sorta need to know for sure...I don't like to keep hanging in the air....ugggghhhhh.....and btw: you do know that we havent even met Krobe03...lolzzzz....so that makes it even more uncertain.....oh well, like I said, I'll just be busy with my life at the moment...I got a lot of other things to worry about....he can wait! lol! it just melts me when he does send little hints like for eg: sending me the song "Far Away" by Nickelback...ok ok...may be I am over-reacting....lolzzzz...but there are a lot of other hints that just make me go all mushy and then I give in...even if he's been an idiot all way long....ugggghhhhh.....thx again🙂 and, what's with not answering the damn phone!!!—!!! ugggghhhhh.....

sarasa,

With my experience. Cancer men do that! They don't answer the 1st call. However, I have noticed just call 1 time. Don't keep calling back, and calling back and texting and waiting on texts. DO IT 1 TIME. That is 2 show U have some interest, but not 2 much. U will scare him off showing 2 much interest in him and U 2 have not ever met. U R rushing! I don't mean 2 sound so cruel. U have 2 give him time 2 come around, he already has insecurity issues naturally. When U call him and he does not answer that 1 time, just take it as he does not want 2 B bothered. Period. Space time. However, don't let space time B 1 day, a couple hours...Let space time B a couple weeks. Then call him in about 3 weeks and I bet he will pick it up LOL! Text him 1 time, he may B busy when U text him, so don't expect him 2 text U right back. Don't take it personal. He just might B busy doing something else with his life, take it like that! Then watch. He will text U back eventually. Maybe, not that same day, but he will get back with U about the situation or topic that U text him about, IF it is not pressuring him into something. U have 2 understand he is a MAN. Men and women don't HAVE the same feelings when it comes 2 relationships.

Getting 2 know him will take a while. Don't B predictable. I suggest U B unpredictable. The reason Y I say this is because until U guys agree on having a more serious relationship. U don't OWE him any predictability. If he stands U up on dates, DO LIKE ME, don't get mad, act like it never happened, don't grip. Then when he really wants 2 hook up, I would not stand him up once, however, i would stand his ass up 3 times. Ever time he asked I would act like it was going 2 happen, however, i would do a NO SHOW LOL!

He will quit that butter! Just don't gripe and complain OK?

Thanks Krobe🙂
And no, I don't call him that often. I don't even remember the last time I did, LOL! I did email him and he got bck to me in 3 days or so. So, I got all excited and sent him a reply and now it's been a week! Should have known, hah! Anyways, I am pretty cool on the outside. No matter how much I am boiled up on the inside, I can hold it all in🙂 b/c I know rushing will just lead to him retreating. So, yeh....there's no rush. But how the hell do I know if he's even into me?:S I just need some hint or somehting...damn! Anyways, thanks again!

sarasa

sarasa,
He will come around more, not in the beginning though, eventually. That is how U will know! He is not direct! He sits back and wait 2 see how U react 2 his BS first LOL!

I think he's past that already, lol. He was sorta aloof in the beginning and I was ok with that (pretty cool and all b/c I wasn't even looking into a relationship at the time). Then, he started talking more often to the point where it got to hours in a day and pretty much everyday. Then, he sorta disappeared. I think he just got bored of me, lol. Oh well, I aint rushing into anything but just wondering if there was anything at all? and if so, how come he disappeared all of a sudden? did I unintentionally say something that freaked him out? b/c he is freaking paranoid about anything and everything...jeez, I can't believe it at times!

I think I know what I'll do now. Disappear on him, hah! that should serve him right! I will just ignore the hell outta him....muahahahahhaa.....

Oh girl, U got it LOL!

hahahaha...but it's going to be soooo Hard😢 *sob sob*....damn cancerians! damn him! LOL...and yet, I am attracted to him....sigh!!! what am I going to do with myself?? uggghhhh

hahahaha...but it's going to be soooo Hard *sob sob*....damn cancerians! damn him! LOL...and yet, I am attracted to him....sigh!!! what am I going to do with myself?? uggghhhh

Good advice from me 2 U. Read on signs that he is compatible with and pick up some ideas It works. LOL!

signs he's compatible with??:s...he's a cancerian with venus in virgo and mars in cancer and my venus is in Sagittarius/scorpio and mars in libra....

No what I mean is read up on the signs he is compatible with like Capricorn, Scorpio, Pisces I think these three and pick up some of the moves these MEN, pull. The reason I say men is because I would treat him like a man, not a woman.

Even more in depth like with the Scorpio male, he loves hard 2 get women. He LOVES the chase. I have read that Scorpio men make all these sexual promises 2 women, and then when it is time 4 them 2 hook up....He does not show up LOL! So the women chase, chase, chase and he makes them feel as if they R chasing him 4 his sex LOL! Not me! However, I tried this before. Actually I did the same exact moves Scorpio men pull like sell dreams and it works LOL! U will B chased 4 real LOL!

guess someone needs to do her reading.....lol....any good sites/books??....let's see if it will actually work.....

Yeah,
I don't read any books LOL! I will go hey, i'm going 2 send U a text, I just give up 2 much info on how 2 tame these.....blah....blah....I have 2 save ALOT of my techniques LOL!

Well it depends on the comfort level, that will determine whether the first move will be made.

IGNORE HIM!!! That's what I m doing at the moment! Will let you know how it turns out...lol

Hmm so if I got it right, you're supposed to show your interest to a cancer to some small extend (but not show she's all you can think of) and then ignore her ? I'm an aqua and I can be aloof but would that kind of flirting work (putting aside the fact that it will take ages) ? Reminder: I'm reffering to the cancer ladies.

It does not take ages. Just time. U have 2 have patience. That is what Cancers R need. Someone with patience that they can trust not 2 just run away with their BS! And B their 4 their hearts. However, I wouldn't suggest giving out your heart so easily.