Gift Giving Advice

There is a particular cancer I care very much about. He lives very far away. I want to send him a very simple gift that I know he would love. I want to send it to him anonymously. I have his address because he gave it to me for a package he knew I was sending him a couple months ago. Here is the thing, I have read about cancers considering their home a sacred place. I did feel like he was trusting me with his address when he gave it to me.

The question cancers ,should I send the gift? Would you think it was sweet to receive a small anonymous gift from someone if it was thoughtful? By the way, I am sure he will know in his heart it is from me. Or, would you find it creepy and an invasion of your space? Would you feel the sender over stepped their boundaries?

Hi
Knowing my cancer hubby well, i would say he wouldn't mind and as you say you feel he would know it was from you, depending on your relationship with him of course, i dont see why he would think a thoughtful gift would not be appreciated, they like gadgets and things which are practical. What is your relationship to this man ?

Our situation is complicated, but I will give you the very brief run down. Much will be left out, but you should get the idea. Met through business, continued talking based on shared interest. Developed close friendship talking constantly via email over the span of several months. Attraction expressed on both ends after quite a long time talking. I am married. I broke down and admitted my feeling for him months ago. Separated from my husband. He has been in a shell at least 90% of the time since I admitted feelings. He has basically admitted he has feelings as well. He has also expressed extreme guilt toward my husband. He knows that he (husband) knows how I feel about the cancer. I have asked the cancer if he wants me to leave him alone. He does not answer. I told him I would leave him alone forever unless he reached out to me. A week and a half later he sent me an email that addressed nothing I wanted to talk about, but he sent an email none the less. I believe he loves me but is torn. I love him.

Given the circumstances, is sending the gift appropriate?

I would say personally you need to see him in person so you can 'see' how he feels.
He sounds as if he feels guilty as you say in his shell, my husband goes in his shell if he is hurt or has any strong negative feelings about anything. You need to gently coax him out somehow, why would he go in his shell if there were'no feelings' to think about or feel.?
I don't think he will reach out to you, don't forget he feels guilty for betraying your husband, he may just want things to calm down before he relaxes and warms up to you again, give it a week of no contact from you and just try an email then reassuring him everything is ok and you would like to meet for a quiet drink and catch up somewhere, if he ignores your request, just move on sweetie x

Oh and no, I wouldn't send the gift until you are both on
100% talking and comfortable terms_?? x I hope this helps a little x

Thank you both for the advice!

My circumstances changed. He contacted me. He has been chatting with me like nothing was ever the matter. Honestly, today he was as out of his shell as he has ever been. Responding to me right away when I emailed him, answering any questions I asked him. I would still like to hear any opinions contrary, but I will probably send the gift now. Most of my trepidation was based on him being in his shell.

Aww, see they do come out, did you reassure him everything is ok with your hubby/ circumstances at the moment when you were chatting
? I'm sure he would love your little gift now, you don't even have to send it under cover, be sweet and loving, I hope you get together properly eventually. Good luck _—_

Thanks Lostbull for sharing.