Observation on Cancer man rules

So which is it?

Initiate dates/texts/calls with them or wait for them to do it because if he's really interested he will?
When he's silent ignore him back or contact him and let him know you care?
Don't tell him he's wrong or correct him?
Be patient with the silent treatment or tell him to fuck off because he's being disrespectful?

I recently met another crab man (just a friend though) and we were discussing the crab "rules". I'm basing the rules on things I've read on DXP about those crab guys. Do any of you actually follow any of these? How does it work for you?

Posted by ScorpiosHarmony
If you have to follow 'rules' about how to communicate with someone then you're giving them all your power and that shxt doesn't sit well with me. Why should they get to determine something that should be totally natural. Communication should flow naturally from both sides. Call them if you want to call them. If they're not responsive, they're probably not interested.

That's how I feel too, but my cancer guy friend actually agreed with some of the rules. Just curious....

Posted by dontgetmewrong
Well what did the cancer man say about the rules?

Ha! The conversation went like this:

Me: Hey X, so what do you think of the stuff I was reading to you? Does it feel like you?

X: Yes and no

Me: Meaning—?

X: I agree that space can be good, but not too much unless I want her to leave me alone.

Me: Would you tell her to leave you alone?

X: I don't know, probably

We were on the phone. It felt like pulling teeth so I just stopped there 🙂.

Posted by thinktoomuch
get out as fast a possible and act like you never had *the cancer experience*

Or let him be in control.
.. And then get pounded on for not showing enough interest.

Or take the lead.
.. And get pounded on for being too needy and controlling.

In the least: prepaire yourself for probably not feeling you're doing good enough for about 90 % of the time and also taking all the reponsibility for what goes wrong.

(I think my crab was dead and rotten, if you get a fresh one, it will probably be very nice)

I got a fresh one, a spoiled one, a down right rotten one and one that will stay on ice until I decided what to do with him!

1. Initiate sometimes let him intiaye sometimes
2. When he's silent let him be silent for a day then demand attention and pull him out. Don't curse him unless you know for sure he's silent because of something with you.

*decide

What happens to me with Cancers is that if I initiate they ignore or act uninterested but then they come back after a while then they ignore me again even if they initiated. It's stupid and ultimately fucks people's mind and they definitely know it.

You can give them hints you care, like small messages here and there but they'll still ignore you if they're in that phase of behaviour until one random day they start talking to you like nothing happened and then proceed to ignore you again.

I've stopped trying to understand because all we're asking for is decent human communication and if they're not capable of giving that, it's probably not worth pushing it.
They're sweet people but they hate confrontation regarding their behaviour so they'll tell you one thing and act like the opposite for whatever reason. They're experts at making you feel like you fucked up so that they can mold you into that little sorry thing that will cater to their every mood swing.

You won't have to "let" him do it, because when he's serious about you he'll absolutely be the one to contact you and plan things. But show you reciprocate by initiating on occasion as well.
When he's silent, show empathy by letting him know you understand he needs time to himself and you'll be there when he needs you, then be silent in return until he contacts you.
NEVER tell him he's wrong or try to correct him. Instead, ask him if he's considered other options/actions/behaviors/whatever. They hate being told what to do. It's better to let them come to the conclusion on their own by gently leading them to it. Unless what you're trying to communicate is that he's hurt you, in which case use feeling words. When they care, they'll hate knowing they've caused you pain.
Be patient with the silent treatment up to a point. There's a difference between the silent treatment, and being a coward pulling the disappearing act. Depending on which scenario it is, act accordingly by either respecting it or cutting off the balls he clearly doesn't deserve because he's being a pu $ $ y.

*because he's being a p.u.s.s.y

NEVER tell him he's wrong or try to correct him.

Sigh...this right here...I see that quite a bit for cancers. Maybe that's why I don't work well with them. If you fuck up you fuck up. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, won't stop me from loving you, but I'm not going to let you get away with shitty behavior either.